Hey guys! This is my first fic, I hope you like it :)

A million thanks to CrackinAndProudOfIt for beta'ing this!

Hantalyë

Nerdanel lay on the grass, her head comfortably placed on her husband's lap. The rustling of the leaves above lulled her into a light sleep; Laurelin's golden rays warmed her skin. Suddenly, something hit her side with a thud, pulling her back to reality.

'Excuse me, my lady? Would you mind tossing it back?' A dark-haired elfling smiled sheepishly at her.

'Next time you ought to be more careful, young one!' Fëanáro did not look pleased.

'Come, Fëanáro, they are but children. Leave them be.' Nerdanel tossed the ball back to the child, who grinned and promptly broke into a run towards his friends. 'Are they not adorable?'

Fëanáro mumbled something and scowled, eliciting a laugh from his wife. The faces he made in these situations were something to behold. She laid back again, intent on napping a while more. Soon, though, she found she could not fall back asleep.

'Do you not desire children, melmenya?' Her question caught him by surprise.

'What?' He looked, puzzled, at Nerdanel's face.

'Elflings, Fëanáro.' She had a dreamy expression. 'Have you never thought about it?'

'Yes, I have, sometimes...'

'But?' Nerdanel interrupted him. After a silent while she spoke again. 'I feel you are keeping something from me, verno.'

Fëanáro sighed. His wife had a way of reaching the deepest corners of his mind, and this time, she had brushed a sensitive spot.

'Tell me, what concerns you?' Her expression shifted to a worried one.

'I...' He struggled with the words. 'I am...' He took a deep breath. 'I think I am afraid.'

It was Nerdanel's turn to look puzzled. 'The mighty Fëanáro, afraid of children?'

'Do not mock me, vessë. It is not of children I am afraid of.'

'Then what is it?' Her eyes still held a mocking glint.

'I fear you will share my mother's fate.' His voice was barely more than a whisper.

Nerdanel's brow creased. So this was why Fëanáro behaved so evasively every time the topic of parenthood arose.

'Melmenya...' Fëanáro did not answer her. 'You should not concern yourself with such matters.' At this, Fëanáro looked at her, on the verge of tears.

'Don't you understand, Nerdanel?' His voice rose, not in anger but in grief. 'I cannot do this again. I cannot bear the idea of you lying on a bed, your strength waning by the day, your eyes losing their brightness, and all because...'

'Don't you dare finish that sentence, Curufinwë Fëanáro!' Nerdanel's interruption startled him out of his despair. 'You are not Finwë, and I am not Míriel.'

'My name is Curufinwë for a reason...'

'That does not mean you are your father. It does not mean we have to share your parents' fate. We can write our own fate, melmenya.' By now Nerdanel was kneeling before her husband, her hand tipping his chin up.

Fëanáro looked her in the eyes before gathering her into a fierce, loving embrace.

'Hantalyë, melmenya.'

Notes:

Melmenya (Q) – my love;

Hantalyë (Q) – thank you;

Verno (Q) – husband;

Vessë (Q) – wife;