Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Sailor Moon, or the shirt that shall not be named.

A/N: To all of you green jacket haters out there, nothing beats the frilly shirt. Also, I'm not that informed about Japanese suffixes in names, so if I screw up the usage, forgive me! Lisa, the fist-palm is for you.

"Ok, does everyone know their places?" Usagi asked, looking at the two girls sitting on the floor in front of her. Both of them nodded. "Mako-chan, what is your job?"

"I make sure Minako-chan doesn't get sidetracked, and I keep watch for any disturbances in the...well the diversion." The brunette smacked a fist into her palm. "This is going to be sweet!"

Usagi giggled. "Good. Minako-chan? Repeat your orders."

The blonde nodded. "I enter the room with all of my stealthy-ness and make sure not to ruin the diversion. Then, once I've reached the target, I take it and run out with Mako-chan!" She raised her hands to form the outline of a revolver, James Bond style.

"And once you've left?"

"I tap lightly on the glass door, and we meet you back here."

Usagi smiled evilly. "Great! I really appreciate you guys helping."

"But aren't you even going to tell us what the diversion is going to be? How are we supposed to get in and out undetected? And where are you going to be the entire time?"

Usagi's smile deepened. "You leave that to me." She nodded to the two girls. "You guys ready?"

The girls nodded and reached for their henshin pens. Instantly, they were transformed into their Sailor Senshi uniforms.

Usagi led them to the window of her house. "Call me on the communicator when you get there. Wait for my signal." And with that, Venus and Jupiter leaped from the window leaving Usagi alone in her room. It was go time.

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"Remind me again why Usagi-chan didn't transform into Sailor Moon?" Venus asked, rubbing her hands. "It's cold up here!"

"Because then Mamoru-san would suspect something," Jupiter replied, her eyes scanning the apartment in front of them. She could see the light on in Mamoru's apartment. "Usagi-chan's transformation triggers his own."

"Oh, right!" Venus replied, laughing slightly. "Did Usagi-chan say how long it would take for her to get here?"

"She should be there any minute now," Jupiter replied. She saw Mamoru get up from where he was sitting and move towards the door. "There! Ok, ready for this?"

"Yeah!" Venus squealed, high fiving her partner in crime. "Oh, this is going to be so good! I can't wait to see the kind of distraction Usagi-chan is going to create."

The two senshi leapt across to the neighbouring building, careful not to alert other residents of their presence. When they reached Mamoru's balcony, they crouched down waiting for their signal.

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Mamoru sighed as he flipped through his textbook. He wanted to do well in his studies, but advanced physics was really quite boring. Pausing to make some notes, he was startled when there was a knock on his door. Setting the textbook down, he strode towards the door, looking through the peephole. Usagi was standing there in a trench coat.

He smirked and opened the door, leaning against the door frame. "What brings you here?"

Usagi breezed past him into the apartment. "Sorry, I was going to call but I thought I would surprise you instead." She turned to face him, noticing his smirk. "Were you busy?"

He shrugged. "I was doing some studying, but it can wait. What's the problem?"

Glancing towards his balcony and spotting the dark shadows of her senshi, Usagi started to smile, but kept her face serious. They were going to get quite a show. "You see, I really can't decide."

Mamoru frowned slightly. "Decide what?"

"Whether or not these go together," she said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. She reached for the belt of her trench coat. "I thought you could critique for me Mamo-chan."

Mamoru's frown deepened. "Usako, what are you talking about?"

Finally, unable to stay serious, she undid the belt and let her coat fall to the floor. She almost burst out laughing as Mamoru's eyes bugged out. "Well?"

"Uh...I uh..." Mamoru stuttered, unable to take his eyes from her outfit. His face went beat red as he struggled to come up with words. "What...I mean when are you planning to wear this? I mean why?"

Usagi moved closer to him, backing him up until his back was against the wall. "You don't like it?" she asked, pouting slightly.

"Uh...no it's not that, I mean..." his eyes took in the red lace of her shirt. He ran a hand through his hair, taking in a deep breath. He forced himself to meet her eyes. "I just can't think of a reason for you to wear this kind of outfit."

"The girls and I were talking about going to one of the clubs, and I figured I'd have to get a new outfit."

Mamoru's eyes hardened at the thought of anyone touching his girlfriend while she was dressed like this. Usagi giggled slightly. "You're coming too of course. I wouldn't have any fun if you weren't there Mamo-chan." She looped her arms around his neck as much as her height restriction would allow. "Don't you want to come?"

Mamoru felt his mouth go dry. "Of course. Someone needs to look after you girls." His arms involuntarily looped around her waist, bringing them closer. Screw studying! This was way better...

Usagi raised one of her legs up behind her, signalling the two waiting senshi. It was now or never. "Hmm, I think there's a much better reason for you to come," she said, and closed the distance between them swiftly. He leaned down to accommodate her, and the two were soon kissing passionately against his front door.

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Jupiter smirked as she saw Usagi take her coat off. That was definitely one hell of a distraction. Waiting, she saw Usagi's leg rise, and looked at Venus. "Ok, let's move." She frowned as she saw the blonde girl gaping at the sight before her.

"I thought Usagi was going to create a diversion! How are we supposed to...Ow!" she whimpered as Jupiter slapped her upside the head.

"That is the diversion you idiot!" Jupiter rolled her eyes. "Come on!"

Venus was still confused, but her brain seemed to start working once she saw Usagi kiss her boyfriend. "Ohhhhhhh! I get it!"

"That's great, but we don't have a lot of time." Jupiter reached for the handle of the balcony door and slid it open as quiet as she could. Grabbing Venus' hand, the two crawled towards Mamoru's bedroom door as quietly as they could. She snuck a look at the pair kissing against the wall, and stifled a laugh as she saw that Mamoru was indeed very distracted at the moment. Didn't they need to breathe? Too bad she didn't have a camera. Rei and Ami were missing out.

The two senshi reached Mamoru's bedroom and slid the door almost completely shut after them. Venus immediately moved to his closet while Jupiter peeked through the small opening . "Ok, where is that disgusting piece of cloth?" The blonde moved through his clothes, noticing his green jacket hanging among some of his outfits. Next time...

"There it is," she whispered, grabbing the offending object. Removing it from the hanger, she wrapped it around her wrist. "I got it!"

Jupiter grinned. "Ok, let's get out of here. Something tells me that they're going to be moving in this direction pretty soon."

Venus gagged at the brunette. "I can't believe you can stand to watch that!" she hissed. "Your mind is seriously hentai sometimes Mako-chan."

Jupiter shrugged, smirking. "And you call yourself the senshi of love?" She opened the door silently, and the two slid out into the living room.

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Somehow, they had ended up on the couch. Usagi opened one of her eyelids to check on the progression of the 'mission', and saw Jupiter give her the thumbs up as the two senshi moved past the couch, and had to stifle a giggle at the expression on Venus' face. She pulled Mamoru closer and moaned slightly to cover the sound of his balcony door closing and Minako tapping on the glass quietly as he rained kisses along her throat. They had gotten away with it!

"Mamo-chan," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. Although her 'distraction' was definitely causing things to heat up, she didn't want to let the situation get too far out of hand tonight. "I have to be home in ten minutes."

His kisses stopped as he raised his head to look at her, slightly disappointed. "Can't you call and tell your parents you're studying or something?"

She giggled as she pushed him up. "Come on lover boy. Take me home?"

He groaned, rolling off of her. "Let me take a quick shower first." He turned away from her and moved towards the bedroom. "I'll be two minutes."

Usagi giggled again, noticing his reaction to her. Sorry Mamo-chan, not tonight! She smoothed the wrinkles out of her mini-skirt and stood from the couch. Hearing the water running, she moved into his bedroom to check her appearance quickly.

Her hair was a mess, and her face was still red from the kisses they had shared. She had to admit her outfit was definitely something she didn't usually wear, but it had achieved the reaction from her boyfriend she was hoping for. Shrugging to her reflection, she took her buns out and let her hair cascade down her back. Looking back to the mirror, she squeaked as she saw Mamoru standing behind her shirtless. She noticed his frown, and turned to face him. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I was looking for my blue jogging shirt, but I can't seem to find it." He opened a dresser drawer and pulled out a black t-shirt. "This'll do for now I guess."

Usagi stifled her laughter with a cough, but couldn't help smirk slightly. "I never really liked that shirt. Frills don't look good on a man."

Mamoru raised an eyebrow. "What frills?"

Usagi rolled her eyes. "Never mind. We should get going." She took in the image of his naked torso briefly before he covered it with his shirt. Bad Usagi! Think of the mission.

Mamoru noticed her expression and moved to stand beside her, kissing her quickly on the lips. "You look older with your hair down like that. It's nice."

Usagi smiled. "Embarrassed to be walking around with a teenager?"

Mamoru shook his head. "Never. Let's go." He grabbed his keys and followed his girlfriend out the door.

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Usagi ran up the stairs to her room. Swinging the door open, she burst out laughing as she saw her accomplices sitting on her bed with Luna, holding scissors. "We did it!"

Minako stuck her tongue out. "Yeah, and you scarred us for life!"

Usagi stuck her tongue out back at her friend. "Sorry, but you know Mamo-chan. It takes a lot to distract him. He's very perceptive."

Makoto nodded in agreement. "I thought for sure we were going to get caught. Minako-chan kept staring."

"I was not staring Mako-chan!"

"Anyways, what are we going to do with this?" Makoto asked, holding up the offensive piece of clothing. "I seriously thought Mamoru-san had more fashion sense."

Usagi giggled, flipping her hair behind her shoulders. "He must have lost it along with his memories." She grabbed the shirt and eyed the scissors. "I say we have a little fun with it."

Luna just rolled her eyes.

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They had cut it, stretched it, burned it, and moon dusted it. All that remained was one small scrap of the collar.

"Mako-chan, care to have your turn?" Usagi asked. The brunette grinned.

"Why thank you Usagi-chan. I thought you would never ask! You and Minako-chan were having all the fun. Sparkling wide pressure!" the brunette yelled. It was a good thing the park was empty at this time of night. They were creating quite the commotion. Smiling with satisfaction as the fabric exploded into tiny pieces, Jupiter gave the thumbs up to her two friends. "All done!"

"Excuse me ladies, but what exactly are you doing here at this hour?" A voice boomed from the trees. Usagi visibly gulped as Tuxedo Kamen appeared on one of the branches above of them.

"Uh...it was nice knowing you Usagi-chan!" Minako laughed nervously. "We should be going!" She ran off, Jupiter following close behind. Wussies...

"I would ask what your parents think about this, but that's obviously not an issue," Tuxedo Kamen said, eyeing his girlfriend. He dropped to the ground, landing smoothly on his feet.

Usagi refused to meet his gaze, releasing her transformation quickly. Her uniform disappeared, leaving her standing there in pink shorts and a white tank top. "We were just taking care of something."

Mamoru let his transformation drop as well. "What kind of something?" He eyed the ashes that were scattered on the ground. A tiny piece of fabric caught his eye, and he reached down to pick it up. It was blue.

Usagi squirmed nervously. "I should be going, I have school tomorrow bright and early! Bye!" She turned to flee, but gulped when he caught her hand.

"It's a Sunday tomorrow. Nice try," he said, moving closer to her. She retreated from him, but swore under her breath when her back hit a tree. She was cornered. "Why is my shirt in pieces, Usagi?"

Uh-oh. The tone of his voice didn't sound good. "Well, you see-"

"It seems the tables have turned," he whispered, pinning her hands to the side so that she couldn't move. "I'm afraid I can't let you get away with this."

"I'm sorry Mamo-chan! It's just so...terrible!" she said, grimacing at the thought of the offensive piece of material on him. "Are you mad?" she asked, pouting slightly.

He saw her pout and shook his head. "That won't work Usako. I'm not going to let you get away that easily."

Usagi looked terrified. "Come on Mamo-chan!" she whined. "I'll buy you another one! I'm sorry!"

He moved her hands above her hand so he could hold both of them with one of his. "You're going to have to be punished Usako," he said, gathering her up in his arms. With that, he summoned his transformation, and carefully leapt to the tree above them. "This is an entirely too public place though. Don't want to get caught now, do we?"

Usagi squealed as he leapt from roof to roof. "Please Mamo-chan!" she wailed, trying to get her arms free. He ignored her pleas and tightened his hold on her, careful not to drop her. He smirked as his apartment building came into view. Checking for any signs of activity, he leapt across to his balcony, marching into his apartment with Usagi still squirming. He dropped her gently on the floor and eyed her stomach with an evil grin.

Usagi saw his look and panicked. "No Mamo-chan! Not that!"

He smiled widely and started tickling her mercilessly, laughing at her screams of laughter.

"Stop Mamo-chan!" she screamed, thrashing wildly. "I'll wake up your neighbours!"

"I'm not too concerned about them at the moment." He blew a raspberry on her stomach and continued to tickle her. "Now, say you're sorry again, and you'd better sound like you mean it."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she yelped, trying to get her hands free. If he didn't stop soon, she was going to have an accident on his carpet.

"Now, who's the man?"

"You are! You are! "

He grinned, and stilled his hands. "Ok, I forgive you. But, I want one more thing." He stood up, lifting her with him as he went.

Usagi punched him in the chest. "Mamoru you jerk! Put me down this instant, or I'll...I'll...I'll do things!"

Mamoru's eyes twinkled mischievously as he moved towards his bedroom. "Funny, that's exactly what I had in mind."

End Notes: Ok, I hope that wasn't too lame. But seriously, that shirt needs to be destroyed. I don't know what they were thinking when they designed his wardrobe...Please review and tell me what you thought! Oh, and all errors are mine.