"Wait."

But it was too late. I ran, ran as fast and as far as I could before my body collapsed with dry sobs. No tears would ever fall. I would never feel relief from this horrible pain. My motionless heart would never mend. It would forever be cracked in half all because of who I am. Because of what I am. I am not human. I can never be.

And I will forever hate myself for that.

I knew my mind would be forever haunted by the look in her deep brown eyes when I told her I didn't want her to come with me. I could see the clear incomprehension on her face, as though she knew the words didn't make sense.

I wanted her with me forever, but I could not deny her a full life because of my own selfish desires.

Leaving was the only option. For my Bella to live, I had to die and I knew leaving her would kill me.

What was left of my humanity was slowly seeping away with every step I took away from her. Every time my foot hit the ground, carrying me further from her, I felt another inch of my heart turn to stone.

By the time I reached my destination-Alaska with the Denali Clan-I was dead. I had no desire to see my family, to feed, or even move.

I had no desire to live.

While my kind could not physically become fatigued, I collapsed in the snow a few hundred feet behind the Denali's house, my breathing rough and ragged. My fists clenched around the snow and the fact that it did not melt in my palm only reminded me of the horrible monster that I am.

I cried out in anguish, wishing now more than ever for sleep. I only wanted a few hours to completely detach myself from reality and live in a world where I could be with Bella, if only in my dreams.

But I knew I was kidding myself. A few hours with my Bella would never suffice.

I lay there in the snow for almost an hour, feeling nothing but hatred for myself before I heard the patter of small feet approaching me.

I knew she would be the first to come.

I could hear her thoughts as soon as she stepped out of the house. They were full of hurt and anger and confusion and sadness. I didn't like to know I was hurting Alice. I loved Alice as much as any brother could love their sister.

But not even she could understand.

"That went well, didn't it?" She hissed as soon as she came to a standstill in front of me.

I sighed but said nothing. There was nothing to say.

"Edward, what were you thinking?" She said, her voice catching in a tearless sob. "Bella loves you, trusts you, and yet you betray that? You tell her you don't want her and that she isn't good enough for you!" She flashed an image in my head of what she saw while I was saying my goodbye to Bella.

It hurt to see it again. It hurt so much it took my breath away, something that is not easy to do.

"Her self confidence is low as it is. She's never going to recover from this. Not unless we go back." She pleaded. "Please, Edward. Please let us go back."

I stood up slowly, feeling as though every muscle in my body ached.

"No, Alice. This is right. The only right decision I've made in a long time." My words sounded sure but inside, I knew they were not true. They were as false as the human life I was living.

"If I thought you really believed that, I'd have to kill you." She said with a snarl.

I glared at her. "Please do. I'd welcome death with open arms."

At that statement, the anger completely left her eyes and for a moment, it almost looked like they began to fill with tears.

"Please, Edward. Don't say that. I love you. You're an idiot, but I love you. We all do. Just please, rethink this. Edward, I've been watching her. She's in so much pain…"

She flashed another image in my mind and I groaned in pain, my entire frame feeling as though it was being ripped apart.

"NO!" I roared. "No more looking, Alice. You cannot imagine how much it hurts me to see her in pain. But in time, she will move on. Human hearts mend easily over time."

Alice's eyes narrowed once again. "I can't just abandon her! She's just as much a part of this family as you are. I will not make her go through this alone!"

"She's not alone!" I yelled as I started to stalk past her. "She has Charlie and her mother and all her human friends. She'll be fine, Alice. She has to be."

Alice didn't make a move toward me as I stalked away but I could hear the defeat in her mind.

"Fine. I'll stop watching. But you will make this right one day, Edward. You will fix this."

I didn't answer her. Instead, I ran back out into the woods with no intention of stopping.

I wouldn't stop running until I stopped hurting.

Which I knew would be never.