"What did you do?!" There were several ways that Donna Evelyn Paulsen could enter a room, and you couldn't miss any of them. Her presence was commanding and demanding all at once, overwhelming and intoxicating in every conceivable way. Right now she was all fire and fury—a force that could not, would not be ignored.
Harvey, however, didn't bother to turn around. After all, he already knew what this was about. It was what prompted him to stand there at his office windows in the first place, hands in his pockets, wondering if he had made the right choice. He figured he would know soon enough. "How did you find out?" he said wearily.
"Scottie called Jessica. Told her she was going to stay in London after all. Begged her to let you have your money back. What the hell happened?"
Silence. Harvey shook his head, eyes still glued to city below.
"Dammit Harvey, that woman loves you and if you can't get past these insane commitment issues of yours, you're going to lose her for good."
"I don't have commitment issues."
"Oh please. 'I want you in my life'...what does that even mean?!"
He turned to face her. "She told you that?"
"Yes! Because she knows that I know you. I know what your mom did, and I know that you're scared, but believe me when I'm telling you that you're making a mistake. I've said it once and I'll say it again: nobody is going to leave you, Harvey."
"I know."
"Then why did you let her go?!" It was clear that Donna's exasperation was reaching a critical point. Harvey knew that he would need proceed carefully in order to explain himself.
His jaw flexed as he thought. "I let her go... because this isn't about whether or not I can commit." He sighed. "It's about who I want to commit to."
"Come on, Harvey. You know that you care about her."
"You're right, I do care about her. But I don't love her."
Donna could swear she saw the brief flicker of a smile playing around the edges of his lips, but no. She must be seeing things. She stared at him, dumbfounded, searching for words to express how clearly, utterly and completely wrong he was about everything.
Harvey continued, slowly. "Look, I've built my career around the idea that it is better to settle than to fight a losing battle. And when it comes to the law, that works great. And Scottie... is great. But if I continue to pursue a relationship with her, I would be settling."
"And you would rather fight the losing battle." Donna crossed her arms. For anyone else, being the subject of her intense, scrutinizing gaze would usually lead to a hasty change of pants. But Harvey...Harvey revelled in it. After all, he had nothing to hide.
"I would."
She shook her head. "This is the first time I've ever said this, but: I don't understand you, Harvey."
Harvey eased into his office chair, gesturing for her to sit across from him. He waited for her to get settled before leaning towards her, hands folded on his desk. "That morning, at the diner."
"Harvey," she said, but her heart wasn't in it. In fact, it came out as more of a whisper than her usual "shut up now before you say something you can't take back."
"I wanted both," he said simply. And then, "I still want both."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you're my losing battle, Donna. Because unless you throw out your rules and decide that we can come to work together and leave together… then this is it for me. No one will ever know me like you do. And I wouldn't want them to."
"So...what, is this you saying that you 'want me in your life'?"
"No. This is me saying that you are my life. I love you."
She stared at him, open mouthed, for what seemed like an eternity. "Well..." she said finally, "we do sort of have a joint bank account already." She grinned.
"Joint-what? Come on. I don't ever see you putting anything into it."
"Right, that's how that works. Haven't you been in a relationship before?" They were both laughing now. "Really though. What you just said...do you really mean that?"
"I really do."
She couldn't help it; her eyes welled up with tears. "I love you too, Harvey." He reached across the desk and took her hand.
"It's getting late. Do you want to...come to my apartment?"
"Oh, I don't know if that's such a—"
"I have this..." He produced a can of whipped cream from his desk.
"When did you get that?"
"Picked it up this morning."
"That's a little presumptuous don't you think? You had no idea how I'd react."
"Oh come on. Everybody in this entire firm knows you have a thing for me."
"Uh, no, you need to check your facts, mister. Everybody knows that you have a thing for me."
"Get out! You're full of it." And then, "Shall we continue this argument in the car?"
"Definitely." She snatched the whipped cream from his hand. "Last one to the elevator is a rotten egg."
Harvey grinned. Now this...this feels right.
Authors Note: Ummm yeah so I wrote this dialogue in my head last night and now here it is. :)