I can't fathom why I'm so worried about him. I mean, he's a grown man, all evidence to the contrary.
I wish he would tell me what's wrong, what the tests are for. All he can do is joke, but what if it's something serious?
If he relapses with the Y-pestis, he could die. The rest of the team is not yet over Kate, and we were all rather shell shocked be Gibbs' departure and return. If Tony died, I don't know what we would do.
He brings so much light and life to the team, not that I would ever tell him that.
What am I doing? I'm up late worrying, and why? Why?
Because I care. I care about Tony, but it seems like a different way then-
No, maybe that isn't it at all. Maybe I just don't want to be accused of not caring again. That barb stung and stuck, bothering me more than any of the others ever knew.
Yes, that's it. It isn't that I care about Tony more, I don't. Or maybe I do. I don't know, it's all so-What am I thinking? He's Tony. Juvenile, obnoxious, I-want-to-strangle-you Tony.
Who always has my back, who can always make me laugh, who-
Ack. I need to cook or sleep or shoot things or something. I-
I wonder what Tony is doing?