R Is For Raj Koothrappali
The day promised sunshine and a moderate wind as Raj hurried Howard towards the apartment door.
"Hurry, please, and do not ruin our kite chance this time," Raj commanded his friend.
Stumbling because of the fast pace, Howard scowled, "I messed up one kite outing, Raj, one kite outing aeons ago. Can we get past it now?"
"Ok, but try not to antagonize Sheldon. You know he stays a breath away from announcing Doomsday and I want to have fun. Please, Howard, you push his buttons too much."
Though Raj definitely acted nervous and unsure, his clothes masked his uneasiness and offered a bright spot to the day. He had dressed in a light sweater vest to complement his red, white and blue shirt.
Not trying to mask his motive, he scrutinized his best friend's outfit and sucked in a breath at Howard's green dickey. His buddy was the only man he had met who actually wore one, though Howard heatedly assured him that all American men owned several.
Raj shook his head in resignation. That item of clothing alone constituted one good reason not to give up his Indian citizenship.
Just as they reached the landing, Penny's door swung open, and she greeted Howard and Raj before they all trouped into Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.
Leonard jogged into the living room and grabbed his wallet off of the coffee table before telling the others good morning. He motioned them out towards the hall.
"Couldn't find my wallet," he grinned self consciously.
Sheldon shook his head impatiently and elaborated for the others. "Heed what I say to Leonard and learn." Pausing dramatically he continued, "That is entirely your own fault. When you refuse to leave your possessions in one place and prefer to clutter them about the house willy nilly, you deserve the agitation of lost keys or a lost wallet."
No one bothered to reply, but Raj beckoned all of them impatiently. He glanced nervously at Penny, who knowing his penchant for not speaking to a female, announced that she wanted to head down the stairs first.
Watching her begin the descent, Raj spoke urgently as he waved his hands to motion them down the steps, "Hurry, please, I want to get to the park and sign into the competition on time. You know there will be many people in attendance."
Risking a backward glance, Penny smiled sweetly at him. She had actually just met the crew a few days earlier when she moved across the hall from Sheldon and Leonard. Though they had eaten a few meals together, the four males still remained skittish and self conscious around her. Raj could not address her directly, and clearly Leonard could not hide the crush he had already developed on her.
"What are all of you boys up to this morning?" she addressed Howard.
"Raj has us involved in a kite flying competition but it appears it's falling to pieces before it starts," Howard explained.
Leonard clasped Raj's arm reassuringly as they stepped onto the landing. "No worries, Dr. Koothrappali, I think we are ready to go. Let's get moving."
Penny walked backwards towards her door. "Good luck, then, Gentlemen. I'll see you later. Maybe we could eat supper together afterwards."
"You're welcome to join us now," offered Leonard hopefully, smiling before lowering his eyes.
Penny shook her head, however, and waved good bye as the group rushed out the complex's main door.
Half an hour later they approached the sign- in table and presented their forms to receive their kite competition identification lanyards. Only Raj and Sheldon would compete in the day's contest, but Leonard and Howard planned to encourage their buddies and provide moral support.
Considered geeks by friends, family, and strangers alike, they had learned to buoy each other and act as cheerleaders.
Howard excused himself to visit the restroom and Leonard moved to the sidelines, setting up a couple of folding chairs and placing a small cooler with bottles of water between them.
"This is really important to Raj," Howard observed as he sat down on one of the hard seats and steepled his hands.
"He has talked about nothing else for the past couple of weeks. I really hope he and Sheldon beat the other teams." Leonard indulged in a cursory look at their competitors and shook his head. A couple of teams played for the fun of it, but a couple of others entered all neighborhood competitions, including this one, determined to dominate.
"So do I," Howard agreed, glancing over at where Sheldon stood gesturing.
Rolling his eyes he muttered, "Please don't let Sheldon turn the judges against us before we start."
Obviously, Sheldon had found some rule point with which he currently quibbled. Obviously, he demanded clarification from one of the moderators.
Noting Sheldon's stance and Raj's stricken expression Leonard quickly hurried to the pair to run interference.
Almost immediately he led Sheldon away.
Raj's relief was palpable.
The group gathered together one final time before the kite relays began, and Leonard and Howard outdid themselves in verbally encouraging their pals.
Sheldon, true to character, minimized and discounted the validity of their words, but Raj responded excitedly. He needed that reassurance and support from his friends.
One of the opponents was a particularly nasty guy named Chet, and he lived near enough that it was impossible to avoid running into him in the neighborhood. He took particular pleasure in targeting Raj for barbed comments, most of which centered around Raj's Indian/ Asian ethnicity. He fancied himself quite a ladies' man, and spent a good bit of time pumping iron.
Chet and his pals took their places at the starting line and he narrowed his eyes at Raj and sneered. "Do your people even know how to sail kites? You've got what, a two trillion population? How could you even get a running start without knocking down like twenty of your neighbors?"
He laughed delightedly at his own words, and his chums joined in the merriment.
Raj looked away without bothering to respond. Having encountered Chet numerous times, he knew that the bully enjoyed publicly humiliating him, and any defense he proffered generally added fuel to Chet's fire.
He glanced surreptitiously towards Sheldon, who was rejoining him after his chat with Leonard.
"Well, I must say," Sheldon announced, "it appears that I have wrongly thought that freedom of speech holds true in kite competitions, or so Leonard claims. He insists I can no longer question the rules, no matter how ambivalent their syntax."
Raj just rolled his eyes at Sheldon, then glanced back and mouthed a thank you to Leonard.
"Hey New Delhi," Chet called loudly, "I hope you do better at this than you do about talking. Everyone gets tired of trying to understand your bad attempts at English." He laughed loudly at that, and once again his friends joined in with rude comments of their own.
Raj stiffened but tried to focus on the immediate activity.
Sheldon turned in confusion. "What is he going on about, and why are you upset?"
"Nothing, it is nothing. Just forget him," Raj mumbled, embarrassed and hurt, but still determined to enjoy his outing.
The judges moved to give final instructions to the contestants, and the countdown to the start signal began.
Chet yelled out, "Better count with fingers, too. We've got an alien here who will never understand the joys of being an American! He doesn't speak English too well!"
Half an hour later Penny startled the group with a surprise appearance, and once she located her neighbors, hurried to join Leonard and Howard. Scanning the horizon she identified Sheldon and Raj, but could not tell how they ranked against the others.
"So, who leads at this point?" Penny sat down and used her hand to shield her eyes from the sun.
Howard rubbed his chin. "See that nasty brute over there? His name's Chet, and he has gotten into Raj's head. He and his buddy are in the lead."
Leonard added with resignation, "Raj and Sheldon should be, by all rights, but Chet has been waging verbal warfare on Raj, and the damage is done."
Penny demanded detail and clarification, and the two itemized Chet's stereotypical grievances towards Raj.
"Problem is," Leonard grinned self consciously, "that he and his friends are much bigger than we are."
"I see," Penny crossed her arms across her chest and surveyed the spectators, making note of logistics.
They watched the action thoughtfully together.
Not long after that, the competition reached the halfway point and a moderator announced a ten minute recess for the contestants.
All of the players began to move off of the field.
As if signaled, Penny rose from her seat and ambled slowly to the sidelines. She called out in a husky voice, "Well hello, Adorable."
A pretty girl, she usually received second looks of appreciation anytime she made a public visit.
Chet's eyes lit at her appearance and he turned and started towards her, winding his way through the crowd. "Hey, there, Little Girl, here I am!" he called out as he thumped his chest, then added, "and yes, you have finally found the man of your dreams."
He turned to the rest of his group and grinned. "That girl just has target fixation for a sexy body. She can't take her eyes off of my hotness, can she?"
Several people turned in her direction to identify whom that girl could be.
Chet jogged up to where Penny stood and licked his lips. "Oh my, Girl, you do have good taste wanting me, and I am happy to help you here."
Reaching out, he grasped her arm.
Penny reacted instantly and loudly, recoiling as though she had been scalded. "Get your hands off of me, you hideous pervert! Everyone around Pasadena knows about your performance problems, Chet!"
She snatched her arm from his hold and shuddered dramatically.
Chet's mouth dropped open in surprise and his expression changed to one of anger as he absorbed the public insult she'd heaved at him.
Hearing the voice of a woman in distress, good Samaritans formed to help. Eyeing a golden opportunity to finish sealing Chet's fate with the crowd, Penny allowed her voice to rise with emotional emphasis. "I know you have a habit of physically forcing girls to be with you, but I want a real man, instead, Chet, one who has the assets and does not have to mask his physical inadequacies with bullying."
Delighted laughter from the spectators burst forth, and they began to jeer and point at Chet.
Penny raised her eyebrows and smiled to acknowledge the audience before announcing, "Raj, come here, my Indian Honey. Don't make me have to wait any more!"
Then, running her hands through her hair and beckoning him towards her she finished by glancing dismissively at Chet. "I want a real man- not a dimwit with serious performance issues."
Raj managed to disguise his shock at the scene and jogged to her side. When he reached her she grabbed him in an embrace, and some of their witnesses actually clapped.
Furious, embarrassed, and frustrated, Chet pivoted and pushed his way through the crowd, eliciting more catcalls and comments over Penny's revelations about him.
What she said to him would be salacious conversational fodder in the neighborhood for weeks.
At first his buddies scrambled to follow Chet, but then his former fan club slowed when they saw the reception he received.
Chet did not return to finish the competition, nor did his friends, for that matter.
Raj and Sheldon won first place, and Raj handed the ribbon to Penny, then leaned over to whisper to his best friend.
Howard grinned and translated, "Raj says you deserve this ribbon, and that he wants to know what made you came to help him. All of what you said was made up, and you didn't even know Chet."
Penny grinned in response as she linked arms with Leonard and Raj.
The group began the walk home.
Howard tapped her shoulder. "Why did you do it?"
"Simple," she replied, "Raj is my first place friend."