Not Another "Fullmetal Goes to School" Story

Unbeknownst to Mustang Unit, but beknownst to most of the general public, the Amestrian Government had been facing the lobbying forces of the ACWA for the last ten years. The Amestrian Child Welfare Association had been lobbying against child labor since before the infamous Edward Elric had been born, but hadn't really gotten any steam to their movement until around 1902.

The Ishvalan War set back their attempts for a few years, but in 1909 they had regrouped and were ready to continue their fight against child labor and for free education for the youths of Amestris.

In 1911, in the aftermath of what that ACWA saw as the biggest affront to their cause (Edward Elric age TWELVE being instated as the newest state alchemist), the group finally gained a political backer within the nearly defunct Parliament of Amestris.

In 1912 the Fuhrer signed both the Anti-Child Labor Act and the Public School Act into laws.

The Anti-Child Labor Law forbid minors (defined as persons seventeen or under) from holding any jobs that took up more than fifteen hours a week during the school year and twenty-five during school breaks.

The Public School Law created a nationwide public school system for educating the children of Amestris and attendance was compulsory until age eighteen. The school year was arranged around farming seasons to accommodate the demands of some of the home lives of children out in the more remote regions of Amestris.

The ACWA thought that this would force the Military to release the poor, sweet child solider in their midst from service so he could be a properly protected and educated youth.

Not to mention it would end the bad example he set of a child not needing school to be successful.

"BWHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHAHAHHA!"

"Fullmetal, this is a serious issue. I fail to see what you find so amusing."

"Bwhahahaha! You really think that I never finished school, Colonel Bastard? HAHAHAHA!"

Edward Elric AKA the Fullmetal Alchemist, now age thirteen, stood in his C.O.'s office wiping tears from his eyes with his gloved left hand.

"That's a good one. Trying to make me go back to school," Edward said, "I'll have to remember that next time I need a laugh."

"Explanation, Fullmetal, in case one of the ACWA tries to come in here and petition your commission be revoked and I am unable to give them an acceptable answer as to why that wouldn't be in your best interests," Mustang said.

The brief stare down ended whenever Edward huffed and ran a hand through his bangs.

"Alright, Bastard. If it comes to that, tell them that I completed my education with a private tutor. If they want proof, they can check East City Department of Education's records for all those who took the H.E. Exams* in 1908. They'll find both my results and my brother's results there. We actually aced the exam and the proctors thought we cheated until it was proved otherwise," Edward said, "Oh and whenever I was awarded the title of "State Alchemist" I was also, legally, emancipated. Therefore, the child labor law can't be applied to me."

Smug, Ed crossed his arms,

"Can I go now? Al's waiting for me and we have a train to catch following a lead on the Stone."

"Not just yet. Your last mission report was unsatisfactory, Fullmetal. Explain to me why it was so short."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A TINY INFANT WHO DIDN'T FINISH PRESCHOOL!"

MP: I wrote this because I figured that it would be ridiculous to force a Genius PRODIGY to go to high school.

Think about the welfare of those poor students for Truth's sake!

Information for this particular story and other bits of background that wouldn't fit in the flow of the story:

H.E. Exams= Basically the Amestrian equivalent of the G.E.D Exam. "H.E." stands for "High School Equivalency"

Ed took them on a dare from Winry and Al went with him. Winry took it too, but continued to go to elementary school because Granny made her.

For the record, Winry also received a perfect score. The proctors had Pinako strip search the kids for answer keys and tested them again in separate rooms. Whenever they duplicated the results, the proctors let the perfect scores stand and apologized profusely to the three for the accusations.

On another note: Izumi is a certified teacher. Before she and Sig were married, she had been asked by a friend to fill in, temporarily, as the school teacher of the Dublith Schoolhouse.

Being brilliant, Izumi managed to ace the Teacher's Exam and earn her certification in record time (she is a master alchemist, after all).

It was the most frightening and traumatizing school year EVER.

Izumi decided to just be a housewife to everyone's immense relief and she was NEVER again called upon as a substitute teacher.

MP: I have made some corrections based on an anonymous review. I don't like making announcements like this on a fic itself. However, if you don't sign in, I cannot address you in private.

I do agree that factor of ridiculousness is what makes the idea of fics where the author makes Ed go to school so funny, but more often than not the ones I find are executed rather poorly.

So, if someone could point me in the direction of good ones, I'd be more than happy to read them.