"I'm not good at this," Bucky said, warily eyeing the enclosed ice skating rink in Bryant Park.
Carter squeezed his hand, "Don't worry! I'll be right here the whole time."
Bucky winced. It wasn't that he couldn't skate – he and Steve had gone a couple of times back when they were kids and he was decent – it was that he didn't want to skate.
Ice didn't exactly bring up the best memories.
But New York had been hit with a pretty decent snowstorm, and Carter loved being outside. Now that outside was covered in snow, she was doubly excited. She had grown up in the suburbs, big hills near her house. So sledding, ice-skating, snowball fights and building snowmen were all activities that reminded her of her childhood.
"Plus," she said, shuffling them forward in line, "You can't be any worse than my sister, Molly. She didn't even get a foot on the ice before she fell over."
Bucky grinned; he loved hearing about happy memories from Carter's childhood, especially since there didn't seem to be that many. Carter still didn't talk about her family all that much, despite them having been together for almost two years. He could count on two hands how many times she had talked with them since they started dating.
"Alright," he conceded, if only to keep the bright smile on her face, "You're gonna have to pull me around the rink though. It's been a long time since I was on ice."
Carter paused and looked at him strangely. Bucky realized what he had said, and how it sounded.
Instead of dwelling on t, he cracked a joke, "It's been a long time since I was on that kind of ice too."
He smiled to let Carter know it was okay to smile too. She lifted her lips slightly; there was something weird about laughing at Bucky's history. She knew some of it, and what she knew, she didn't like.
Bucky rubbed his thumb over the back of Carter's hand, shooting her a grateful look. He knew that she was uncomfortable with his history, and she had a right to be, but they were working it out.
Sometimes she would ask about a time period in his life, and depending on his mood, he would tell her the truth or he would ask her to wait.
Carter tucked herself against his side, hiding from the cold wind, and Bucky felt like the luckiest guy in any universe.
"You gotta pull the laces tighter," Carter laughed, watching Bucky struggle with his ice skates.
"My old skates were a little different," Bucky grumbled, tugging at the laces.
Carter giggled, "I'm sorry. It's not nice to make fun of old people."
She yelped and slipped off the bench as Bucky lunged to tickle her sides. Bucky jumped to his feet.
"Shit! I'm sorry," he reached down, offering Carter his hands to help pull her to her feet.
"Ow," she deadpanned, eyes twinkling, "I really should make sure I'm nice to the old guy, or he's going to knock me to the ground."
Bucky kissed her cheek, "I'm sorry about that. I didn't think you were sitting so close to the edge."
"Suuuure," Carter stretched out the word, "That's what they all say."
Bucky laughed and sat next to her on the bench. Carter grinned and made a big show of sitting close to the middle.
"You gonna help me with these skates, or what?" Bucky grinned, lifting his foot to rest on the bench.
"Oh, alright," Carter heaved a sigh, pretending to be long-suffering, "If I have to."
She winked at Bucky before pulling the laces tight and tying a bow. She tapped his ankle, signifying that he should lift his other leg. Bucky leaned back on his hand, watching Carter tie the laces. Once she was done she tapped his ankle again, and stood up.
"Okay, Sarge, let's go," she grinned down at him, holding her hand out.
Bucky winced; it was now or never.
"I'm serious, doll. I'm not going to be good at this," he said, wobbling along next to Carter, balancing precariously on the thin blades.
Carter giggled, "You're doing fine! Hold my hand and you won't fall."
Bucky gripped Carter's hand tightly, stepping carefully onto the ice. His other foot followed and soon enough, Carter was gently pulling Bucky along on the ice.
She was skating backwards, encouraging Bucky as they looped the rink.
"You're doing great!" Carter squeezed his hands, "Wanna try a loop without my help?"
Bucky, for his part, had calmed down considerably since they had started skating. Maybe being on the ice wasn't going to bring back strongly repressed memories.
"Okay, I'll try it," he said, smiling slightly, "But if I'm crap at it, you're buying me a drink."
"You're on," Carter said, slowing down a little and letting go of Bucky's hands.
He did okay, for a while. Bucky skated slowly around the rink, making sure to stay close to the walls, just in case.
It was when he turned his head to look back at Carter when the whole thing went south.
There was a group of tourists stopped directly in front of Bucky, smiling and taking a picture. Bucky, of course, had his head turned and didn't see the people.
Bucky was vaguely aware of Carter shouting his name as he hit the ice, but the cold, compacted with the hit sent his mind to places he never wanted to go again.
"No!" he shouted over and over again, reaching his hand up to swing at the phantom faces in front of him.
"Bucky!" Carter cried, "I'm here. Stop!"
She jerked back and yelped when Bucky's fist connected with her shoulder, "Bucky! Please, stop! It's me! It's Carter."
At the sound of Carter's name, Bucky stilled and slumped against the ice. His eyes were unfocused, but he mumbled, "Carter?"
"Yeah," Carter scooted forward, grabbing Bucky's hand, "It's me. It's okay, you're okay."
Bucky blinked, his eyes focusing again, and immediately his face sunk, "Fuck."
Carter quickly brushed tears from her eyes, "It's okay. It's fine. Come on, I'll help you up."
She clambered clumsily to her feet before reaching down and helping Bucky get himself righted. She locked her arm around his waist and guided him back to the entrance to the rink.
Bucky kept his gaze trained on the ice, trying to block out the whispers around them.
A guy was blocking the exit to the rink when the skated over, "What the fuck was that?"
Carter narrowed her eyes and barked, "Out of the way."
Bucky smiled a little at her tone. Carter was more than he deserved.
The guy moved out of the way quickly, and Carter gently sat Bucky down on a bench that was slightly out of the way.
"Hey," she said, "Can you undo your skates? I'm gonna go get out stuff."
She gently cupped Bucky's cheek before hobbling off as fast as her skates would let her. Bucky sighed and lifted his foot to the bench, fingers fumbling with the knotted laces.
He had managed to kick both skates off by the time Carter has returned. She dropped his boots to the floor and sat down next to him.
"I'm so, so sorry," she said quietly, taking off her own skates, "This is all my fault."
Bucky, feeling better, snapped his head up to look at her, "What are you talking about? This isn't your fault at all."
He huffed out an angry breath, "This one is on me."
"No," Carter shook her head, "I was the one who wanted to go skating. This is my fault. I pushed you."
Bucky snorted, "I'm broken, that's not your fault."
Carter closed her eyes, "You were tortured for years. That's not your fault. I'm sorry for putting you through this."
Bucky finished tying his boots and ran a hand over his face; he was tired and sore from the fall.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," he said finally.
"I'm not," Carter said, gently turning Bucky's face so she could look him in the eyes, "I love you for everything that you are, all parts of you James Barnes. Good and bad."
Bucky leaned his cheek into her hand, "I don't deserve you."
Carter grinned, "Well, the feeling is mutual. Now, how about I ply you full of hot chocolate and muffins as a show of my apology?"
Bucky gave Carter a small smile, "I think I could possibly be bribed to forgive you."
She laughed, "I'm sorry that this happened. Do you want to talk about it?"
Bucky thought for a minute, and found that he actually did want to talk.
"I do, actually," he said, "But maybe later? After food?"
Carter nodded and linked arms with her boyfriend, "Anything you want. But, you know that I'm always going to love you, no matter what you think about yourself, right?"
"I love you," Bucky said, carefully sidestepping Carter's question. His feelings about Carter were solid, but Bucky's feelings about himself were constantly in flux.
Carter sighed, now wasn't the time to get into a fight with Bucky.
"You're a very difficult man, Barnes," Carter said, tucking herself against his side as a gust of cold air hit them, "Stubborn too."
Bucky looked down at her and raised an eyebrow, "What a pep talk, doll."
Carter grinned toothily, "You didn't let me finish. You might be stubborn, but I'm just as stubborn and I'm going to find a way to get you to love yourself."
Bucky's chest warmed with the force of love he felt for the woman pressed against him, and he spontaneously pulled her into a deep kiss.
"Okay," he said simply, when they came up for air.
"Okay?" Carter repeated.
Bucky nodded, "Okay. I'm going to try."
"Good," Carter nodded, a smile spreading across her face, "Now let's go get you those muffins I promised."
Carter chatted nonsensically about her Kindergarteners, simply to fill the air with words as they walked.
Bucky watched her, slightly awed at this force of nature he had fallen in love with.
Right then and there, walking up 5th Avenue, Bucky promised himself that he would try and let go of the past for her.
A/N: Okay, so this is kind of related to the Liam'verse. It takes place in there, but I think I fudged up the timeline a little bit. So please just go with it lol
This was a prompt from a-thorn-n-my-side (Tumblr)/ Singer of Water (FFNet). Basically I did not write this as fluffy as I could have and I'm sorry for that. My mind works in weird ways. But, feel free to continue to prompt me here and on Tumblr. I'll get to them all eventually. I'm also working on a "Growing Up Super" post, that may be up this weekend. So, I hope you like this and drop me a review =D