She wasn't scared. Scared would not do her feelings justice. Seaver was petrified, to the point where she could not close her eyes. Every time she attempted, she saw the unsubs face staring back down at her, eyeing her up like she was a piece of meat. She knew that if the team hadn't come and rescued her, her body would have been butchered like a porkchop. Just like the other victims before hand, whom she knew were locked in the same basement as she was, except she left out of a body bag. Hotchner and Prentiss had laid into her for taking on the lead by herself, even though Seaver knew she screwed up. Honestly, all she wanted to do was scope it out before she made a spectacle of herself and announced it to the team. Somehow checking out the the abandoned building led to her kidnapping, that lasted about three hours. She hadn't even told her mother, and was debating on if she should. Chris, Reid had tried to comfort her earlier and admitted he was kidnapped about five times. This was supposed to be her initial kidnapping, as if there were known to be more in the future? Seaver didn't want that, not at all. She preferred to be on the other side, saving people.
After taking a shower and putting on sweats, Ashley's adrenaline began to subside, and true fear kicked in. She almost died today, doing what she always wanted to do -be a BAU agent. Although she was still a cadet, observing this team was insight on her main career goal, and up until this afternoon she felt comfortable during her duties. Maybe not at ease with her seasoned team, but that was normal, so her therapist kept assuring her. Aside from being a cadet, she was a terrified 22 year old felt way over her head, and had no one to tell her it was going to be alright. Usually she didn't need to be comforted, because she was always able to comfort herself, a skill learned early in her life. But what she wouldn't give to have her mom with her right now, or her best friend feeding her red wine and making bad jokes to cheer her up.
Prentiss sipped on her glass of Merlot, trying to get herself to calm down. This case was as nerve wracking as the others, but this time her mentee, had to go get herself kidnapped. What really bothered Emily is that is could of all been prevented. If Seaver had said she wanted to check out the abandoned building, she would of went, or sent another agent. Never go anywhere without backup was the number one rule on Hotch's team, and somehow the cadet failed to pick that up. After the lashing Hotch dished out, mainly out of fear, Prentiss was sure the cadet knew better now. That still didn't change the fact she was tied up for three hours, mentally fucked with, and was scared out of her mind. After Prentiss had checked to make sure she was alright, she flipped out herself. Seaver, on her behalf, took it all in stride, staying silent except when swearing it would not happen again. Aside from bruises of where she was bound, and the bump on her head from being knocked out, she appeared fine. But Prentiss knew better, she had been kidnapped before herself. Inside of the cadet's head must be a zoo she thought. JJ had recommended Prentiss to speak to her mentee, which she disagreed with, "I just flipped out on her two hours ago, so she is probably wanting to steer clear of me" Prentiss told the blonde agent. "I offered to get a drink with her, but she mumbled that she was tired and ran back to her room. You are the closest one to her Em" JJ pressed. "Just because Hotch assigned her to me? I ride her ass every day about knowing facts, and terms. I'm like the pain in the ass math teacher no one likes" Prentiss said, still not convincing JJ. "She needs someone right now. If she doesn't get past this now, all of the training you did with her will go right out the window." JJ was right, Prentiss thought. Seaver had potential to go far in the BAU, especially since she was placed here so young, and still in school. "Alright, I'll try, even though this is going to be a disaster" Emily ordered another glass of wine, and headed up to the cadets room. JJ smiled, as she headed off to her room. It's good for Prentiss to show her soft side sometimes, she thought.
Ashley was flipping through the television, but wasn't really watching it. She figured if she could concentrate on the senseless show, her eyes would stop watering, and her body would begin to unwind. A knock at the door caused her to jump up, and her stomach to drop. Hoping off the bed, and peeping out of the peep hole, she could make out the face of her mentor. Great, another lecture before bedtime, she sighed as she unchained the door to let Prentiss in. The older woman was smiling, holding a glass of red wine in her hand. "Hey, I figured you may want a drink. Mind if I come in" she asked. Seaver grabbed the glass warily, and then stepped aside to let the agent in. "Thanks. Maybe this will help me fall asleep" she said, hoping back onto the bed, shutting of the television. Prentiss smiled as she eased herself into the leather armchair across from the bed. She noticed how much younger Seaver looked out of uniform, with her hair down, and all of her makeup washed off.
The cadet had academy sweats on, with her hair in a messy bun, resembling a college student, which Prentiss often forgot she was. "Not a surprise your having sleeping" she said. "What happened today was pretty intense, I mean not just because you're a cadet, but because it's everyone's worse nightmare". Seaver bit her lip, and drank more of the wine. "I thought..I thought I was never going to get out of there" she admitted in a low whisper. Prentiss tried to find the right words to say. "All I kept thinking was mom, and who was going to tell her? Another bad call from the BAU a decade later. How could I have done that to her" Seaver stared into her glass. Prentiss got up from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. "Ashley, we all make mistakes. Your can't beat yourself up over what ifs" Emily said in a gentle voice.
"I felt so stupid. Everyone has been telling me how much potential I have, and I go get myself kidnapped. Hotch hates me now" the cadet sniffed. "Do you know that I was kidnapped once Ashley? And it haunted me for a while, but I knew that it didn't reflect on my ability to be a good agent. And Hotch is not mad at you. He did it out of love, to make sure that you understand you can't be going places by yourself. You're part of our team" Prentiss said. Ashley looked up at the older woman. She felt like she was hearing the same speech from her mother the time she ran away from home for an hour. "He won't think I'm a dumb kid who shouldn't be here" she asked in a tiny voice. Prentiss shook her head. "As long as you keep going out there everyday, despite all of the horrible sites, no one will think that." Seaver looked back into her glass, trying her hardest not to cry. "Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. I feel his hand on my throat. I smell his after shave"
Seaver's voice began to crackle, as the tears rolled down her face. Prentiss reached over to rub the young girls back, knowing nothing she could say could make her not feel violated. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break down like this" Seaver said between crying. Prentiss laughed, "does anyone ever mean to break down." Prentiss just sat there holding the cadet as her body shook through the sobbing. "Let it all out, so it's gone for tomorrow" Prentiss whispered, stroking the younger woman's hair. Seaver eventually began to slow her crying and looked up at her mentor. She never thought in a million years her pain in the ass mentor would be the one making her feel better. "Thank you Emily" she sniffed. Prentiss smiled "That's what a team is there for, to help its members. We're on the same team Ashley, remember that."
"Now go wash your face, and get back into bed. We have to be up in a few hours to head back home" Emily said. "I don't think I'm going to get much asleep alone tonight, maybe I'll just watch some television" the cadet said, heading to the bathroom. "Who said you were sleeping alone? We're both going to try to sleep, now go" Prentiss ordered, making Seaver hop to hit. As much as Seaver felt a bit awkward about being watched like a child by her mentor, she was relieved she wouldn't have to try to sleep alone in a dark hotel room. After putting cold water on her face, and brushing her teeth, Seaver returned to the king sized bed, where Prentiss was already situated. Prentiss got up, smoothed the blankets over the cadet, got her a glass of water, and then hopped into bed. "Now close your eyes Seaver, that's an order" Prentiss joked. Seaver mumbled thank you, and began to drift off. Emily tossed and turned till she heard the heavy breathing of the cadet lying beside her. Prentiss knew that her words and hugs didn't make everything okay, but at least she knew that her mentee would be able to get some peaceful sleep tonight. It was nice to be able to reach out to help someone else, instead of being the one who was always helped. Prentiss made a mental note to thank JJ in the morning, and then drifted off to sleep.