Edward flinched as images poured brutally through Jacob's mind, spilling into his own. He tried hard to contain the emotions rocketing through his body. For dear Bella stood right beside him. He didn't concern himself so much with Jacob's smugness. It was Bella that troubled him most. He knew that she knew he was getting Jacob's thoughts, and that those thoughts were hurting him. She would likely be upset with Jacob. And as much as he didn't care for the werewolf and normally wouldn't mind her being upset with him, he knew he had all of this coming to him.

He deserved it.

I left her all alone. His thoughts added little slivers of glass to an already open wound. Jacob made good and sure that he passed on the mental pictures and thoughts he'd received from Sam. Why he had convinced himself of such idiotic notions, he couldn't begin to fathom. But when he'd left his beloved alone in those woods, he fully expected her to turn around and run home. Home wasn't all that far from the spot he'd left her.

He definitely had no idea she would have stayed and tried to follow him. He had taken off running at full vampiric speed. She hadn't stood a chance. Yet, after him she had gone, and gotten herself lost. And she had given up. The image of her, broken, laying there, paler than ever, wet and cold, her feelings crushed....It shattered what remained of his heart. His self-loathing came back fully. How could do that to her?! She had forgiven him far too easily.

Why didn't I wait? Watch her from afar to at least make sure she got home safely after leaving her like that? She's Bella! Of course she was going to get lost and hurt even more.

The images Jacob happily fed him, would haunt him for all of his existence. Even if Bella and he somehow managed to spend an eternity together, the fact that he'd caused her so much pain and hurt her so badly, ate at him.

If only he could turn the clock back, stop secretly to watch her. See her struggling and in pain, and go to her. His purpose for leaving was to ease her pain, not to break her like this.

He wanted to take that horrid image, reach into it for that wounded girl on the ground, and gather her up into his arms, never letting her go again. He never, ever should have left her. And that he did, was his biggest mistake of all. Falling in love with her and letting her fall in love with him fell in at a close second. But he could never forgive himself for letting Bella be hurt that profoundly.

He would forever be struck by the images of her alone, lost, hurting and needing him in the forest. And him not being there for her when she needed him most.

But he would never let her know, could never let her see the pain it caused him. It would only add to her own and that was the one thing he wanted to avoid more than anything. So he tacked on a smile and pretended all was well. She would never know just how deeply that scene in the woods, touched him. Flat out knocked him off his feet , emotionally speaking. It was his own fault and that was how it should be. His burden alone to bear.

But he would spend the rest of his existence trying to make it up to her. To protect her from pain in any way that he could.

She had bore that horror and heartbreak, he could surely bear knowing of it. It was the very least he could do. Of course, Bella was over it and happily in love. It was only Edward now who would suffer, but he had caused it in the first place. It was as it should be.

I love this girl, and she should never have to suffer like that again. Leave her? What an idiot I was!