I was bored last night, and this idea popped into my head, and I formed a story out of it…I think Ruto is a bit OOC in this, I tried to use my pathetic sense of humor, and I probably failed
Disclaimer-I own nothing related to Zelda in this story, but I do own the Hypno-thingy 500
Chapter 1- Ruto's plan
Ruto sat in her room on her couch, trying to think of ways to get Link to marry her…hmm…maybe I could…no that wont work…how about…no…
Ruto opened her eyes "argh! Why cant I think!" She slammed her fist on the armrest of the couch
"ooooh daughter dearest!" Ruto's father waddled in slowly "what are you doing on this fine day?"
"I'm just thinking father, now go away!" Ruto grumbled
"oh ok, but don't think too hard remember what happened last time. That was a horrible mess, took 3 days to clean" the Zora King scuffled out the door and sluggishly made his way to the kitchen to stuff his face
"I'm trying to forget about it" Ruto mumbled "I cannot think, so I'm going to watch TV" Ruto grabbed the remote and turned the TV on
The screen of the TV went fuzzy the moment she turned it on, "ooh, I love this show!" Ruto squealed
She watched the screen for a minute or two, obviously amused, then she sighed "but it's not helping me"
Ruto flipped through a bunch of channels until one station caught her eye, and she stopped
A man in a cheap suit walks onto the TV screen "hey, have you ever wanted to manipulate someone to do something so bad you'd give anything?"
Ruto stared at the TV screen "yes"
"well, if you answered yes to that question, your in luck! The new Hypno-thingy 500 will cover all your hypnotizing needs! Better than the Hypno-thingy 499, it actually works! Watch as I hypnotize this innocent bystander!"
The man on the TV pulls out a weird device with tons of knobs and buttons on it "watch and be amazed!" the guy pushes a big red button, a beam of light shoots from the device to the person's head
Nothing happens to the person, and she asks "hey, am I getting paid for this?" the man started to sweat "uh…see, I hypnotized her to do that"
Ruto gazed at the TV screen, clearly amazed by the product
"and all this can be yours for only 10 payments of $14.99! call today at 1-800-ISCAMU! Must be 18 or older to call, satisfaction not guaranteed" the commercial then ended
"I have to get that" Ruto picked up her phone and dialed the number
"hello? Yes, I would like to order the new Hypno-thingy 500. Am I 18? Well…yes. one week? Ok thanks, bye" she hung up the phone, and turned the TV channel back to the fuzz
A WEEK LATER…
Ruto sat by her mail box, when the post man came by "oh… hi Ruto…I'm in a hurry…so here's your package"
The post man threw the package at her, and it hit her head "RUDE! But, poor guy, he's so paranoid ever since it happened" ('it' is referring to what Ruto's dad was talking about earlier, and I'll let you decide what it is)
She ran inside and eagerly opened the package "okay, I have the hypno-thingy, first I need batteries, and then let's test it out"
"hey daddy?" Ruto walked up to her father, and then pulled out the Hypno-thingy 500 "you will exercise more, and eat less!" She pushed the button and a stream of light hit her fathers head
"of course I will" her dad started to attempt jogging around the room, but failed miserably
"wow, this really works!" Ruto beamed "now dad, you will pay the ten payments of $15 dollars, with no compliant"
"uh-huh" Her dad got up again, and tried to do a jumping jack, he jumped…a centimeter, and when he landed, the whole kitchen shook and kitchen ware shattered everywhere
"I'm leaving now" Ruto slipped out of the door
See, pretty stupid idea and not incredibly funny, but oh well, I wanted to write it anyways, if you want to know what happens next, review please! All flames will be ignored, so don't waste your time