Heated Debate!
akuhime-chan: Friends, Romans, and assorted otaku! Welcome to the Heated Debate! This is the only place in the world where you can see look-alikes L and Ulquiorra talking about... whatever you want them to talk about! Your input is welcome, for I am bringing this to you out of the kindness of my--
L: No you aren't. Your latest fanfiction series Eternal Night isn't getting enough publicity, so you wrote this to get people to read it.
Ulquiorra: Don't say "latest" like she's written a lot of them. It's only her second.
akuhime-chan: Well, geez. You guys sure know how to make a girl feel special. And not in a good way, in a "special-ed." way.
Ulquiorra: That's what we're here for.
akuhime-chan: No, it's not. You are here to promote my story, and you will promote it or you won't get any cake!
L: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
akuhime-chan: And you won't get to whale on poor Ichigo!
Ulquiorra: Hmph.
akuhime-chan: Anyways, send in your reviews! If you have any questions, comments, or requests, just send it in and I shall grant your wishes!
L: I wish for cake.
akuhime-chan: No.
L: Cheesecake?
akuhime-chan: No.
L: Not even a cupcake?
Ulquiorra: You're wasting your time on this trash. She only cares for herself.
akuhime-chan: Takes one to know one! Besides, L-san can only get cake if someone says he can.
L: You mean I'm not going to starve?
Ulquiorra: Don't you eat anything besides cake?
akuhime-chan: I swear. If you knew anything about L-san, you would obviously know that he lives solely on cake and tea-flavored sugar.
L: Tea-flavored...? I don't--
Ulquiorra: I believe she means that you put so much sugar in your tea, it can no longer be called tea.
akuhime-chan: Exactly! Thank you Ulqui-chan!
Ulquiorra: Why do I get a derogatory honorific?
akuhime-chan: Uhh...
L: Because I'm your favorite?
Ulquiorra: Don't flatter yourself. I'm sure akuhime-chan is not the type to pick favorites.
akuhime-chan: Umm...
Ulquiorra: ...
akuhime-chan: I just didn't want to say it out loud...
L: See? I always win.
akuhime-chan: You didn't win that tennis game.
L: ...
Ulquiorra: You needed the government's help to catch a murderer who got away anyways.
L: ...
akuhime-chan: You also died in the end.
L: Can we go back to picking on--
akuhime-chan: No.
L: Can we go back to picking on akuhime-chan if someone wants us to?
akuhime-chan: Well... we wouldn't have much choice, would we?
Ulquiorra: Have we forgotten why we came here in the first place?
akuhime-chan: Huh? Oh, right. The Eternal Night series is a crossover between Bleach and Death Note starring these two. The plot is as follows:
L: I go after Kira and die!
Ulquiorra: He goes to Hueco Mundo and becomes me.
L: Then, after drinking a cup of tea-flavored sugar, we become me again!
Ulquiorra: Oh, the inhumanity...
akuhime-chan: As if you would know anything about being human.
L: I even get cool powers and a 4 tattoo.
akuhime-chan: What?! I want a 4 tattoo!
Ulquiorra: Everyone wants a 4 tattoo...
Orihime: I don't want a 4 tattoo.
akuhime-chan: ...!
L: ...!
Ulquiorra: Orihime... How did you get here?
Orihime: Well, I'm in the story, too...
akuhime-chan: Welcome, welcome! Come have a seat! Would you like some cake?
L: I thought you said we didn't get cake unless the readers asked!
akuhime-chan: Oh, quit your whining. The 'himes get cake.
L: Not fair!
akuhime-chan: Well, Orihime, since you're here, why don't you tell us whether you like L-san or Ulqui-chan more?
Orihime: Hmm... Ulquiorra is very strong and brave. But L-san is very sweet and funny. He's so kind, and smart, and handsome...not to mention we have the same tastes!
L: I'm handsome...?
akuhime-chan: You didn't know?
L: Well, there are no pictures of me in existence, my room is too dark for a mirror, and I've been called a pervert before but never handsome...
Ulquiorra: What about me? You said we look alike, so I must be handsome too, right?
akuhime-chan: Actually, your tear streaks make you look emo.
Ulquiorra: ...
akuhime-chan: Please send in your reviews! We accept any input and we will do anything to make you happy!
L: I want cake.
Orihime: I want a kareoke machine!
Ulquiorra: I want to go home.
akuhime-chan: And I want an L plushie! Happy Thanksgiving!