"Miss Potts where are you going" Tony asked as he followed her to the door.
"Home. It's nine o'clock" she said as she put her hand on the door handle.
"You should stay and hang out with us for a bit" he insisted.
Just then James Rhodes walked through the door.
"I agree Pepper. You should stay for a little while" Happy said as he came into foyer.
"I will stay for one drink unless the conversation becomes a trip down sexual encounters lane then I'm out. I know you don't see me like that but please remember I'm a lady" she stated as she grabbed a beer from the six pack Rhodes was holding and headed back into the kitchen.
"I'm well aware that you're a woman Pep" Tony said eyeing her up.
Pepper popped open her beer bottle and took a swig.
"You drink beer?" he asked.
He was totally bewildered.
"Yes Tony I drink beer. There is a lot you don't know about me" she said as sat on the kitchen chair and slumped back and crossed her legs.
Tony checked out her legs and made it obvious. He didn't care if she knew he was checking her out.
"Rhodes would you rather have your porn search history displayed at a work meeting or watch a porn starring your parents?" Happy said suddenly deciding a game of Would You Rather would be fun.
"That is so beyond wrong dude" Rhodey said.
Pepper swigged her beer and giggled. Tony and Happy stared at him waiting for his reply.
"You think this is funny Pepper. You're next" Rhodes said.
Tony for once threw his hands up as if to say I didn't start this. But he had a smirk on his face.
"Both options are equally horrible. There are women in my work meetings and I would never want them to see my porn search history. Ugh as horrible as it is I think I'd watch a porn starring my parents" he said.
"You know I think I'd pick the same thing" Tony chimed in.
"Ok Pepper since you think this is so funny. Would you rather have sex with Rob Lowe while Tony is in the room watching or would you rather have sex with Natasha?" Rhodes asked.
"Now is an excellent question" Tony said as his eyes met Peppers.
"You're evil you know that" she said as she turned her attention back to Rhodes.
"There is no way in this world I would pass up a chance to have sex with Rob Lowe. I wouldn't even be paying attention to Tony" Pepper said.
" It's not possible for you to ignore me but I do love this voyeurism kink you've got Potts" Tony teased her.
"I'd rather watch you and Natasha though" he said.
"Ok Tony would you rather?" Pepper said.
"Bring it" he said.
"Would you rather have mediocre sex regularly for the rest of your life or mind blowing sex once a year only?" she asked.
"Oh that sucks Boss" Happy said.
"Yeah it does. That's like cutting Tony's lifeline" Rhodes said.
Tony looked stressed as he thought about it. He was silently weighing the options in his head.
"That is terrible Potts. But I have an answer. I would have regular mediocre sex. I just can't live without it. My sex drive and energy is through the roof already. Once a year would surely kill me" he said.
"Hogan would you rather not be able to eat French fries ever again or pizza?" Tony asked him.
"Pizza because fries go better with a burger. And
how come I'm the only one who didn't get a sexual question?" he asked.
"Because Happy we know you'd pick anything. You haven't gotten laid since 1998" Rhodes said.
"Rhodey that's so mean. Happy's had sex since then" Pepper said.
Happy gave Pepper a nod and tried to think of his next question which would go Tony this time.
"Ok boss would you rather have google search results of your name be confused with a convicted killer or a gay porn star?" Happy said proudly.
"It seems to me that you don't like this job very much do you. Are you looking to be unemployed?" Tony joked.
Happy just shrugged.
"I don't want anyone to think I'm a killer so I'm going to say gay porn star. And it's my turn but since this is my house I've decided I'm going to go last. I have one for Pepper that's going to be game over for her so go ahead Pep get your revenge on Rhodey" Tony said.
Pepper eyed Tony. She knew his question would be terrible and she was trying to prepare herself. But she had a good one up her sleeve for Rhodey.
"Rhodey would you rather never be able to masturbate again or every time you have sex Happy gives you instructions on what to do the entire time?"
"Oh God Pepper you really don't like me do you?" Rhodes said.
"Does that include blow jobs?" Rhodes asked.
"Nope" Pepper said.
"Ok so then I would take Happy giving me instructions because I can still get a blow job and not here his voice. My life is too busy for me to get laid enough. Can't give up masturbation" he said.
"Ok Happy you want an after dark question here ya go. Would you rather get to have sex with the hottest girl you've ever seen only after you've been a cuckold to her and another man or would you rather not have to watch her have sex but you have to have sex with both of them" Rhodes asked.
Tony's face lit up in amusement.
"As long as I get to lick the butt I'm going for the threesome" Happy said.
Pepper, Tony and Rhodey all looked at each other confused for a moment. No one was exactly sure what he was referring to by lick the butt or whose butt he wanted to lick.
"Happy what does that even mean?" Pepper blurted out.
"Come on Pep you don't know what that means? When you eat the-
"I know what that is but that's not what he said" she said cutting him off.
"You know I almost want you to explain but yet I don't think I do" Rhodes said.
"And this is why we don't ask you sexual questions" Tony said.
Happy just shrugged.
"Now enough stalling, it's my turn. Are you ready for your question Miss Potts?" Tony said giving her an eyebrow raise.
"Go ahead" she said bracing herself.
"Would you rather do a photo shoot where you're wearing nothing on my hot rod or one of my cars…. for my private viewing on my private server that no one will ever see but me or would you rather do a sexy lingerie or bikini calendar for the stark industries charity calendar that the whole world could see?"
Pepper could feel her face heating up. Rhodes and Happy both stared at her and could see she was in turmoil.
"Also you won't be able to leave until you answer. Jarvis deactivate Miss Potts codes" Tony said as he was staring at her with that a smirk she wanted to wipe right off his face.
"This is terrible. But I would make the calendar because at least that's for charity" she said.
"I'd donate to charity if you sat on my hotrod" he said with a wink.
"You're filthy. And on that note I finished my beer and I need to get home" Pepper said as she got up.
"Goodnight Miss Potts" Tony said as he locked eyes with her.
"Goodnight boys" she said as she closed the door behind her.
"Pepper is one of the great ones. Whoever lands her is gonna be one lucky bastard" Rhodes said.
"Yup" Happy said nodding his head.
And they both looked at Tony waited for his response.
"She's a catch for sure if I was the girlfriend type" Tony said quickly trying to mask the fact that he was into Pepper in a big way.
Rhodey was giving him the look that he knew what was really going on.
"So do you think if I send out a fake email to Pepper about the photo shoot for the calendar that she'd kill me? I might as well give her a reason to kill me since she choose kill for me during last months game of Fuck, Marry, Kill" Tony stated.
"You're still going on about that?" Rhodes said.
"Rhodey I said I would marry her. She said kill me. This was her payback" Tony said.
"I think you're into her for real" Rhodes challenged him.
"Nope. I don't do that sort of thing" Tony insisted.
"I think she's into you for real too" Happy added.
"Wait what?" Tony said.
"It's ok Happy Tony isn't into Pepper. Brian at the base will be happy to hear that. He really wants to ask Pepper out" Rhodes said looking at Tony.
"Yeah but she's unavailable. No time to date, her workload is piling up and I need her here. And you know she's a workaholic. He'd really just be wasting his time" Tony offered trying to rationalize why he was even having this argument. Why he cared.
"Can we eat now?" Happy asked.
"Yes let's eat please" Tony said heading into the kitchen and avoiding the truth everyone else knew.
