WARNING! ABUSE! SELF HARM!

I cannot get enough of RusGer, I have some RusGer fever, already posted 2 other RusGer stories this month and this is my third, I am on a roll. Please Enjoy.

How had this happened? Ivan Braginski wasn't sure. He'd become completely enamoured with a boy at his school, which in itself wasn't a good thing. Many of the people in the school were very strong minded and in that case, against it. The person, who'd claimed his heart, though he wouldn't say anything about it, was the school's most popular student. Sure, his grades weren't that high but he was terribly witty and honestly, handsome.

There were too problems. The first of which was that Ivan was practically invisible to everyone in their grade, being one of the least popular people. He hardly got to talk to him, unless they were paired up for group work and even then, other people usually stole him away. Still, he'd somehow managed to find a place in his heart. Thinking back, it was probably due to the one time that they had run into each other and he seemed so kind and caring.

Recently though… he was at odds with himself. The second problem came in there. Due to the fact that he was alone, and a few weeks ago he decided to beat a person up for touching his hair. He didn't like it when people touched his hair; it reminded him of what his dad had done the night before. So now people chose to stay away from him and started calling him psychopath. But it was fine; at least they didn't know anything. Some of the boys had the guts to bully him, but he let them because he knew that there was no point in making a scene, anyway his dad hit harder than these boys could.

There was this one group of guys had decided to mess with him. They'd pulled his crush, Ludwig right into the group. It was heart-breaking, though he still couldn't just throw it out, for whatever reason. He forgave him every time it happened, for some reason, even though every time he was pushed around or on occasion worse it just tore out a part of him. He knew that he was just hurting himself with this, but it would be alright, right? They'd eventually get out of high school, in a year or two and then he could forget about him completely. But for now, he liked the German too much.

It was no exception that after eating his lunch, which he did in the least occupied area of the school, that he would head towards the field to sit and take some time to himself. And it was not uncommon that the boys would run into him on the way out. Hell, they probably knew where he went anyways.

Either they didn't notice him or he was noticed negatively. This was hardly any different.

"Oi, psycho" One boy started, heading over to him. They usually didn't start that way though. The same boy shoved him, causing him nearly to fall before continuing. "Heard you've been talking some shit about us. Care to explain?" Ivan took a small step back, eyes connecting a moment with Ludwig's.

"Sorry. I mean… I haven't…" He tried, softly. Everything escalated way too quickly from that point on. A few of the boys had been known to be a tad bit on the violent side. "We'll show you not to backtalk," another snapped and soon enough, there was a sharp pain by his eye; a punch.

He stumbled back further before his legs were swiped from under him, making him fall abruptly. Straight back into the water fountain, head knocking down onto a small, sharp piece of metal, gashing his head a little. He clutched at it in pain, finding it slightly wet.

"Aw? The Russian hit his head? I thought Russians were supposed to be the strong ones" one boy asked, the blood simply concealed by his fingertips. He then looked into Ludwig's eyes.

Ludwig was a good student, but not official. He didn't show his friends his grades; they thought he was still bad at school. The whole thing started a long time ago. His parents died and Ludwig got into this circles and it was good. It was so good to be with them to let out his frustration on others. He didn't know how to deal different.

But now, after his brother died, it wasn't enough. He drunk was addicted to drugs, cut himself and sometimes he couldn't remember what he had done. He thought it was because of his stress.

His girlfriend was hardly good enough to fuck but she was good enough to pay for everything. And she did it good. She paid all of his drugs, alcohol and his apartment. He lived alone.

This weekend there would be another party and Ludwig looks forward it. To get drunk and high.

Today was another shit day and they went around, looking for a new victim. He smiled lightly, but his smile didn't arrive in his eyes, when they met Ivan. He looked into the Russians eyes, but stayed in the background for the beginning.

Ivan saw the blood and didn't know what to do. It never went this far normally; they would normally call him a few names, take his stuff and leave bruises not full on bleeding scars. What was his dad going to say now? His dad hated it when he got hurt, and it wasn't from his hands.

Ivan groaned as he stood up and looked into Ludwig's lifeless eyes, Ivan could see something was wrong with him, but he didn't know what. He acted okay-ish, he was okay at school, he laughed around with his friends, and he had his loving family. So why was he acting so weird, and off.

Ivan felt anger rise in him, he wanted to beat these people up, and he could do it quiet easily, he would even enjoy it. But he also didn't want to bring attention to himself; he knew that he could get in trouble and then he would be in even more trouble at home.

"Leave me alone" Ivan said as he tried to leave.

Ludwig smiled lightly and laughed at the angry glance. "Come on let's go. I want to smoke one...did someone see my little whore?" He laughed and turned around, slowly walking away.

Ivan turned his head around and gave Ludwig one last look before walking to his next lesson where Ludwig would probably arrive late and high like he usually does, or he will just miss the lesson in general. Ivan signed as he shakes his head, why does he fall for people like that; he needs to stop his feelings, he dread to think about what would happen if anyone found out about his feelings. He would die.

Ludwig walked away with the others and grinned lightly. He walked to his girlfriend and after a few hours he came back into the last lesson. He was high and obviously he also took other drugs and drank some alcohol. He came late and sat down on his chair.

Ivan watched as Ludwig walked into class drunk, high and who knows what else. Ivan tried to look away, but he couldn't help but to stop himself from staring. Ludwig was handsome, even when his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he was going to pass out in a minute, he looked perfect. Ivan didn't realise how long he had been staring until someone called his name.

Ludwig laughed lightly and patted his friends shoulder. "Let him be for today..." He looked over at the teacher. "Your lessons are boring dude..." He stood up. "Party at my home today evening," he said to the whole class and walked home.

Ivan was surprised that Ludwig stopped his friend from saying anything more, it was weird. Maybe it was because of how high he was, and then he went on to insult the teacher as he walked out. Ivan had seen his grades when no one else has, how does he manage to be so clever but act like an idiot.

Ivan then heard about the party, should he go? His dad wasn't going to be home today, he had something going on with a friend. So he could go if he wanted to, maybe he can dress up so no one would recognise him? It did sound like fun, and Ivan thought he deserved to have some fun. He did have some outfit at home suitable for the party. Maybe he can get closer to Ludwig?

Ivan went home as he started to get changed; he put on a plain white shirt, some black tight leather pants, and a leather jacket. He added a bit of eye liner because he wanted to, he added a few more touched like a spike necklace and placed his white scarf back around his neck. He looked at himself in the mirror, he didn't think anyone would recognise him and the clothes still hid all his bruises, it would be fine.

Within a couple of hours, Ivan arrived at the party...