PLEASE READ
Hello, it's been a while, I know but hopefully this will be worth it..
Before the story synopsis bit, I just have to mention that this story is a collaboration between myself and Jon (a lot of you may know him by his youtube username Kimbaforeva) and I'm really pleased he agreed to write it with me. It's been fun.
Okey-dokes, fic stuff. We were going to post this when it was finished but as it's so near to completion (to the point that only my untimely demise will stop it getting finished) we decided we'd post now.
I'm not going to say exactly how many chapters there are, that'd spoil it for you, but I will say that if we post every alternate day like we intend to, it'll take you all the way into next spring...good eh?
Right then, what you need to know...
It's canon/AU. So up to the fight at the football match, everything is canon (though there are some 'flashbacks' of sorts that are kind of like missing scenes if you will).
The main difference between this and canon is that it's McDean week and JPC still aren't speaking. That's all you need to know about that really. Some things are different but we'll let you pick those up as you go.
As for how we've collaborated. Basically we split the characters up:
Jon writes for Craig & Darren and I write John Paul, Spike and Jacqui (don't freak out). So depending who's POV it is depends on who's character it is. Conversations between the characters were written by us both but again, the chapter built around it depends on the character POV. Hope that makes sense.
Lastly, if you're a member of FH, I would suggest reading this fic over there, simply because certain parts of this fic will be more visually interesting than on here. If you want to join (they're now accepting new members) then you can PM me on youtube (username yangathear1).
Sorry for the long writers note.
Enjoy the story x
DAY ONE
Monday 14th May
John Paul & Spike
Part One
"Hiya".
"You look nice" Spike says, leaning in to kiss me. I'm still not used to this kind of gesture, even though we've seen each other for a while now, so as I assume he's going for my cheek, it ends up being a bit misplaced and landing on my jaw instead.
"Sorry, thanks, uh...you too." I look over what he's wearing with a more critical eye, noting the neatly pressed, short sleeved shirt and the designer label jeans. "Are we going somewhere special? I thought we'd just going back to mine or I'd have made more of an effort."
"No, I thought we could go out for a drink though, make the most of the nice weather."
"Oh, okay then." I perk up as we start walking, especially when he starts telling me he thinks he's managed to score some tickets to see this group called Backdrifts that do gigs in Liverpool.
"I thought their gigs always sold out?" He nods his head in agreement but gets this really smug look on his face.
"They do, that's why this is so cool. My mate Roads was meant to be taking one of his girlfriends but he got offered this really sweet gig Djing at some wannabe wags wedding on the same night so he said they were on offer to the highest bidder".
"Roads? What kind of name is that?" I ask, feeling a bit stupid when he quirks his brow at me. I suppose it is a daft question to ask someone called Spike.
"You look cute when you blush" he chuckles. I roll my eyes, blushing even harder than before. Clearing my throat, I get him back onto the topic we'd been discussing.
"He's the friend I was telling you about that likes to think he's a bit Buddhist. He says life is a journey and no matter which road you take, you'll meet your destiny, hence the name". He shrugs. "Anyway, the tickets are up for grabs but he's giving me first refusal if I want them."
"Cool" I take a seat across from him on the picnic bench, about to ask more details when I suddenly feel like I've been hit by one of those wrecking balls straight to my gut. "Hang on...what're we doing here?" I sound a bit panicked I know but finding myself at The Dog, knowing Craig might be in there, has that effect on me. Spike just frowns puzzled and looks around.
"We're having a drink, like we said" he answers nonchalantly smiling back at me. He's looking at me really intently though and I can't help wondering if my expression's betraying me. "That is okay right? You don't want to go somewhere else instead?" Of course I want to go somewhere else. It's been ages since me and Craig stopped hanging out together, months since he punched me, splitting my lip, crushing my pride and smashing my heart to pieces with just one swing of his fist. It's been endless days since our friendship became nothing more than a memory of the best days of my life but I can hardly tell Spike that though can I?
"It's fine really, I just thought...you know, with you working here, you'd want to go somewhere else but this is fine, honestly, I can't think of anything better." Okay so maybe I sold it a little bit too much that I'm fine with being here but I will be...so long as I don't see Craig, hear his name or think about him. If I do any of those, I think I might fall to pieces. Spike doesn't look too convinced though, despite my award winning performance so I plaster on a huge smile and lean over the picnic table to kiss him, just so he's sure.
"Oi, watch out!" Pulling back from Spike just as he starts to deepen the chaste peck I was giving him, I look back over my shoulder to see what the commotion is, trying not to laugh at the sight of the woman drenched in red wine as I turn back to Spike.
"She doesn't look impressed".
"Hmm, I bet Darren won't be either, not if she stumps him with a dry cleaning bill" he says dryly.
"Why would she do that?" He opens his mouth to answer but then his expression turns thoughtful and he shakes his head.
"Forget it, so...what're you having then?" I tell him my preference and then watch him go inside the pub, relief coursing through me that he didn't ask me to go with him, sparing me from having to see Craig, for a while at least. It's not like I never see him. I mean, we have some of the same classes so I can't really avoid him at school but when it comes to break time, I make sure I'm on the football field hanging out with some of the younger lads or in the common room if he's outside. Of course it's inevitable that I've seen him in the village too but I've never purposely gone somewhere that I know he's likely to be because that would be like emotional suicide.
I try to push him from my mind as I sit there waiting for my boyfriend to come back, the overwhelming feeling of loss I experience every time I do think about Craig already attacking me. Holding my head in my hands, determined not to shed any more tears, I try and think of something else...anything. It's easier said than done though and as I sit there like that, with the late afternoon sun baking down on me, I give in to my inner masochist and let my mind wander to Craig and some of the happier times we'd spent in each others company because that sure beats agonizing over my loss.
Sitting up on the bench, my eyes closed, face tilted upwards towards the heat, I start thinking about the plans we'd once discussed about going to soccer camp in America and how they'd ended up falling through because he decided he wanted to go on holiday with Sarah instead. I can't help wondering if he's still going to go to Tenerife or if he's got a refund instead, now him and Sarah have split up. I'm just chilling there, mulling it over, wondering if we'd have ended up going after all, when I get this tingling sensation down my spine, the hairs at the nape of my neck prickling up. Sensing someone watching me, I close my eyes again, my breathing becoming shallower as I listen for any movement or something else that will confirm my fear because instinctively, even though it takes all my will power not to turn and see him, I know it's Craig.
I don't know how long I stay like that, it could be mere seconds or long minutes but either way, it feels like an eternity. The whole time, I might not be moving but my mind isn't idle. It's like I have this part of me, watching what I'm doing, asking why I'm just sitting there instead of trying to mend the most important friendship I've ever had. I can tell myself I'm hurt and that Craigs' apology wasn't enough and he should've tried harder but that persistent little voice won't pipe down. It keeps asking me if my stubbornness is really going to prevent me from mending bridges. It's not the first time it's tried to break through the barriers I've put up either but for some reason, this time, it's practically screaming at me to do something, before it's too late.
Hearing movement behind me, I take a second to compose myself and then turn around.
"Craig?" I say his name quietly, something I've barely allowed myself to do in months, the sound of it dying on my lips in an instant.
"I thought I may as well get a few, save keep going to the bar and I got us some crisps too" Spike says as he makes his way over, "I wasn't sure what flavour you liked though, so I got different flavours, hope that's all right?" he adds, dropping the packets to the table and passing me a bottle. My gaze flicks past him to the doorway and he follows it, raising his eyebrows in query when he sees nothing there.
"Are you okay? Do you want to go inside out of the sun? You don't look too well" he says, concern etched in his face as well as in his voice. Trying to drop the confusion I can feel writ in my features, I shake my head, taking a long pull from the bottle of ice cold lager.
"I'm fine, just..." he smiles at me expectantly, "I'm fine". What am I going to say really? 'Sorry I look like shit, I could've sworn you were Craig?' He frowns but doesn't challenge me, turning his back on me as he peruses the contents of the pond. I must have been wrong and it wasn't Craig looking at me but Spike, my boyfriend, the guy who's supposed to send shivers down my spine and make goosebumps break out all over my body. That would be the plausible explanation for it but somehow, I can't seem to convince myself of that. Maybe it's because he's never had that effect on me before, even when he's standing inches from me smiling or kissing me or maybe it's because I could swear that I could feel Craigs' presence there, caught a waft of that familiar musk scent of his on the breeze. Bloody hell, I can still smell it now.
"So, when's the next exam then?" Spike breaks into my thoughts and for the next hour or so he keeps up a constant string of conversation, making it virtually impossible for me to think of anything else as I concentrate on answering him. Sure enough, thoughts of Craig slip back into my subconscious as he keeps me entertained, regaling me with stories of his gigs and his mates until I'm laughing along with him like a decent boyfriend should. Unfortunately, it inevitably turns cooler and when Spike does suggest going inside, I can't think of a valid excuse for us not to.
"I want to see if you're as good at pool as you say you are" he says, already getting to his feet and grabbing the empty bottles.
"Um...yeah, all right". I walk ahead of him until I step through the door, immediately spotting Craig over the other side of the room. Halting in my tracks, I get that sucker punch to the gut feeling I always experience when I see him. I unconsciously take a step back, standing on Spike's foot as he follows in behind me.
"Ouch...ah ow, bloody hell!" I turn in surprise, practically glaring at Spike to shut up so he doesn't draw a certain someones attention towards us. Easier said than done when he's hopping around, clutching his foot in his hand, blocking the doorway. Luckily Craig doesn't notice as he continues collecting glasses.
"Sorry...you all right though?"
"I'll live if that's what you're asking." I smile back sheepishly, feeling like a right pillock. "You do know I have a disadvantage at pool now though right? So if you do beat me, which you might not, that'll be my excuse" he says grinning. I can't help laughing, shaking my head when he puts on his sad puppy face.
"Deal...listen, you go and sit down and I'll get the drinks in...same as usual?" He nods his head and then hobbles off towards the far side of the room where the pool table's situated. Figuring I can get the drinks in before Craig comes back to the bar, I go over. Standing at the far end of the bar, I wait for Darren to serve me, watching Craig from my vantage point as he stacks the empty glasses into neat piles, wiping down the empty tables as he goes.
I've missed this. It seems like forever since I was last in a position to just watch him. I used to do it all the time when he'd come round to mine to do homework of play on my play-station. I'd sit at the top of my bed propped up against the pillows, glancing up from my book as I pretended to work, while he'd lay sprawl at the foot of it on his tummy or sit crossed legged facing me. He'd help Jack out behind the bar on the weekends too, working diligently and efficiently like he is now but back then, he'd come over with an orange juice and sit with me for a bit between collecting the glass or filling the fridge.
"What're you having mate?" Darren asks, breaking me from my reverie.
"Two pints of Fosters please". I shift in my seat, waiting for him to tell me I'm not old enough to be served or come out with some barbed insult disguised as wit but he doesn't, he just looks at me thoughtfully for a second or two, quirks his eyebrow at me, shrugs and then grabs a couple of glasses. Okay, what the hell is that about? I glance back towards Craig to see he's looking at me, his hand raised, poised to take the tea towel from his shoulder. My breath catches in my throat as I stare back, my gaze locked on his for those all too brief seconds before he ducks his head and turns away.
I want to go over there, ask him if he misses not being around me as much as I miss him but I can't, I'm too afraid of what he'd say and besides, my arse feels like it's welded to the bar stool I'm sitting on. I could swear though, just for that moment, that I saw a hint of regret in his eyes too.
"So, big day Friday then...getting anything nice for your birthday?" Darren asks from behind the pump. Shaking myself mentally, I will myself to stop watching Craig, turning instead to his step brother.
"Huh...oh, no idea...I doubt it though, we don't exactly splash out on birthdays, there's that many of them, you know?" How does he know anyway. I've never mentioned it? Then it occurs to me...Mercedes or maybe Spike...he works here, probably dropped it into conversation at some point.
"Ah well, you never know eh...£4.70 mate...cheers". I hand over a fiver and then, taking the drinks, I scan the room trying to spot where Spike is sat, my eyes drawn towards Craig instead as he disappears into the gents. I think about going after him, putting all this behind us once and for all but I can't bring myself to because I can't stand the thought of hearing him say anything else that could completely destroy me. Instead, I tell myself to be grateful for what I have go, smiling at Spike as I make my way over.
Thanks for reading x