Aveline Vega was sitting with her best friend Claudia Rae, her "deployment twin" if the lingo was to be believed, eating third meal after a long night shift when she felt it. The chow hall was crowded as it always was at that time of morning, with crews coming off shift and others headed in to work, interspersed with those who had nowhere to go or to be until their flights out.
They were in their usual corner farthest from the entrance and near the TV that played BBC news. Aveline was chatting aimlessly with Claudia about the previous shift, about their impending trip home, and how if one utilized enough shredded cheese product the powdered eggs weren't that bad. Really. Her back was to the entry doors so she didn't see whoever it was come in, but she felt it instantly deep in her bones, resonating in her chest, the pull to her Other. The pull to her Sentinel.
"Shit!" Aveline gasped and hunched over, sweat erupting on her forehead as she fought with all her strength the urge to turn and look. To see. Because she knew once her gaze locked with theirs, and they knew her heartbeat, all was lost.
"What! Claudia exclaimed next to her "What is it?! Are you okay?" Claudia was alert but calm, not much fazed the fellow ICU nurse. Claudia could visually tell Aveline probably wasn't actively dying in front of her, so true alarm wasn't necessary…yet.
"Nothing", Aveline replied sharply breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. "I just think maybe the shawarma last night wasn't a good idea after all…even though it tasted ok." she ground out between gritted teeth. Claudia nodded in understanding and began to brusquely gather their trash.
"Are you going to vomit?" Claudia asked reasonably, checking their surroundings for any type of receptacle. Her eyebrows rose as she scanned the room and noticed a commotion near the entry doors.
"No, I just need to get out of here." Aveline managed to gasp out. Claudia nodded again and grabbed both their meal remains consolidating them onto one tray. She stood and took their pile to the tray return and came back. Aveline managed to slowly get to her feet. She deliberately kept her eyes away from the center of the room where she knew They were at; she could hear the growing disturbance. Aveline purposefully placed Claudia between herself and the fray, not that it helped much since she was a good four inches taller than Claudia's slight form on a good day. Aveline could feel Claudia's interest pique as her meticulously established shields began to unravel and her empathy ran wild. Under normal circumstances Aveline wouldn't dream of invading her friend's privacy like that but her control was slipping away like grains of sand in the hot desert wind. Aveline had to get out. Now.
"What do you think is happening" Claudia had a comforting hand on Aveline's arm, and she gently but firmly led their progress to the exit doors. Aveline was hunched over and trying to keep her eyes on the wall next to her as much as possible without running into anyone, or anything.
"I…I don't know. Do you need to go check? I can make it to the Cadillac without you." Aveline said, feigning ignorance. She knew exactly what was happening. My Sentinel sensed I was here, and they immediately tried to lock on to me, but in such a crowded room it would have been impossible. They would have Zoned instantly, much to the alarm of everyone in the vicinity. Aveline waited another few steps, and she could feel Claudia's indecision. Claudia was a good nurse, and sensible. She knew that while Aveline probably didn't feel well her issue wasn't life threatening, and she probably would want some privacy (well, as much as one could get in a Cadillac) while whatever had the group in the middle of the busy DFAC stirred up might be more severe.
"Well" Claudia started "if you think you can make it okay."
"I can, it's just across the street. Go see what's wrong. I'll meet you back at our rooms." Claudia gave Aveline's arm a quick squeeze. "No passing out and hitting your head though, okay?"
Aveline barked a quick laugh which she instantly regretted as her stomach flip-flopped alarmingly. "Okay mom, I promise not to give myself a subdural." They had made it to the front of the DFAC and Aveline bee-lined for the door out while Claudia turned left and headed to the main aisle just when they heard a male voice call out "A Guide! Is anyone here a Temp-Guide?" And then Aveline was out.
She pushed into the blinding humid heat that defined Al Udeid and blinked hard as she tried to adjust to the glare. The pull to the stranger was decreasing as she increased the distance between them, and as Aveline crossed the street the ache in her chest lessened enough that she could stand up straight. Heading into the nearest Cadillac Aveline promptly lost the half breakfast she had consumed in a too small bathroom stall. As she came out wiping her mouth with the back of her hand a Sergeant washing her hands at the sinks eyed her sympathetically.
"Bad shawarma." Aveline muttered and began washing her own hands. The Sergeant nodded in understanding. Food borne illnesses were not uncommon in this environment so it was an easy lie to maintain. Aveline began the walk back to her dorm room and she couldn't help the chill that fell over her in spite of the humid 110 degrees. Her Sentinel was here, in Qatar. They were military and they were deployed here. Well, maybe they weren't deployed here, her racing brain supplied, maybe they were just passing through, a transient on their way to their deployed location or on their way home.
Aveline had made it her whole life without meeting this person and without having a Sentinel pairing forced upon her. Why did this have to happen now? She groaned and wiped the sweat off her forehead. She had actually started to believe what others said, that she was unmatchable, that she would remain an un-bonded Guide and that she would have to be satisfied with only using her empathic gifts to help her patients.
Others said this with sympathy in their eyes, but Aveline was grateful for each day, month and year that she was un-bonded. It meant statistically that she was never going to bond, as most bonded pairs usually "found" each other sometime between the onset of puberty and their twenties at the latest. Aveline had just celebrated her thirty-third birthday in this God forsaken country and as she blew out the candles on another year she counted herself safe.
Aveline laughed mirthlessly as she dug her key out of her pocket and opened the grey metal door to her dorm room. She wasn't a lone Guide. She did have a Sentinel, and they were precariously close. Aveline shut the door behind her and leaned on it, closing her eyes, letting the air conditioning wash over her as the sweat from her walk home congealed uncomfortably.
Taking a deep breath, Aveline eased her impressive shields slightly to see if she could…Oh God. She gripped her head as the fine golden thread of their fledgling bond appeared in her mind's eye. She knew her Sentinel couldn't see it, but they could probably feel the pull. It wouldn't be a complete bond until the Sentinel locked all of their senses on her. Shaking Aveline sat on her bed. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
"No." She wouldn't allow this to happen."I am my own person. I control my own destiny. I am nobody's slave." Aveline whispered to herself firmly. Her rapid breathing calmed in the cool dark of her small room and she was grateful for the solitude to shore up her shields as best she could. A while later, Aveline didn't know how long, she heard the door open and close next door and Claudia came through to their shared kitchenette and peeked her head in Aveline's adjoining room. They had lived together their whole deployment and found the arrangement to be most enjoyable.
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure."Aveline said. Claudia perched on Aveline's desk chair, eyeing her appraisingly with her nurse's stare. "Well, you look better."
"I feel better." And that wasn't a lie. The distance had all but cured Aveline's earlier symptoms, with only a ghost of the pull lingering in the center of her chest that she could easily ignore.
"I made it to the Cadillac, and now I've been here absorbing the air-conditioning." Claudia nodded, accepting that Aveline would live to fight another day.
"So, what happened at the DFAC?" Aveline had to maintain her apparently ignorant curiosity. Claudia waved her hand dismissively.
"An un-Bonded Sentinel Zoned when he came in. Honestly, I don't know why they let the un-Bonded ones deploy. The environment is too chaotic; I don't care how long he has been without a Zone or how good his control is. There wasn't much for me to do. Luckily there was an un-Bonded Guide there, this poor Senior Airman who had never pulled a Sentinel from a Zone except in simulations. But he did okay, and the Sentinel came out of it, so I came back."
"He, uh he was okay then?" Aveline's mind raced. Her Sentinel was…is a he.
"Yeah, he was fine, I didn't really get a good look at him, he was surrounded by his buddies, all in OCP's y'know and I didn't force my way in once I heard it was a Sentinel in a Zone." She looked at Aveline and smiled.
"Too bad about the shawarma, you could have helped him instead of that poor Airman, the kid looked terrified." Aveline nodded, all her co-workers knew she was a Registered Temp-Guide and with her medical training she was especially handy. Aveline had pulled several Sentinels out of Zones over the years, but this was the first time she had put one into one.
"Yeah, good thing that Airman was there." Aveline murmured. Truthfully she felt little guilt leaving the Sentinel; my Sentinel her treacherous mind supplied; in the crowded DFAC because she knew that the odds were good there was an un-Bonded Guide or a trained Temp-Guide in that crowded room. After all, Guides outnumbered Sentinels approximately ten to one.
"I kinda feel bad for him" Claudia continued.
"Oh?" Aveline added distracted as her own thoughts continued to race and spin.
"One of his buddies told me that he hasn't Zoned in years and hasn't even needed a Temp-Guide in that long. Now he'll have to go in front of the boards again and a parole period before he can serve." She sighed. "I'm sure he thought he was just gonna get some powdered eggs and weird sausage with his team" she continued "and now his military career may be fucked." Aveline nodded blankly, she hadn't considered this at all, so great was her need to get away. And she was supposed to be the empathetic one!
"Well, maybe he'll pass the boards and parole, since he has gone this long…" Aveline started hopefully.
Claudia rolled her eyes at Aveline. "You know even if he does he'll have to be put on a new team. His crew won't trust him."
"Unless he…found his Guide." Aveline said softly. Claudia eyed her again, and Aveline put on her best innocent face. Claudia knew the regs as well as she did. "Well yeah, I mean if he bonded then it wouldn't be an issue, but he wasn't young so if he hasn't bonded by now…"
Aveline nodded in agreement. If he was anywhere close to her age, he would have been deemed unmatchable as well.
This was not her problem. Aveline had gently pushed Claudia off, telling her she just needed to sleep and Claudia had wandered over to her own room. Aveline shut her adjoining door and began pacing. He's the one who chose to come to the deployed setting un-Bonded, a notoriously tricky proposition on the best of days. He kinda deserved what he got. Does he? her wretched mind argued. The only reason he Zoned today was because of you, you who are his undoing, and his salvation.
"NO" she hissed to herself and then stopped in her tracks. Great. Now I'm talking to myself. Arguing with myself. Aveline had made it this long and this far without a Sentinel and the argument could be made that he had also made his path in life without a Guide. This was an extraordinary occurrence simply based on sheer numbers. Even the rare Sentinel that didn't find their Guide would utilize Temp-Guides to help balance their abilities. His shields must be impressive for him to function this long without even a Temp-Guide out in the field. That thought piqued her interest, but she quashed it.
Whatever anyone said, they had both settled into their lives un-bonded, and there was no reason that they couldn't continue along that path. He would get through whatever boards and suspension/parole he had to face because he had been strong enough to make it this far, and Aveline…well she was slotted to go home in roughly two weeks, so the odds of running into one another and creating another "event" were slim if she was careful. Finally relaxing Aveline finished her pre-bedtime ablutions and glanced at the digital clock on her shelf. It was only 08:30 in the morning, so she had time to read for a while. Ah the joys of working night shift.
~ooOoo~
Aveline grimaced as she shouldered her way into the crowded Kasbah. This was her night off, and as a natural introvert, she could think of at least twenty things she would rather be doing than going to a packed bar on base at prime drinking time. Her sense of duty and friendship overrode her desire to be curled up in her narrow bed with a book and found her looking for her group of friends slated to fly out tomorrow. Any regular night at the Kasbah she would have politely declined. A going away party was a different matter.
She grabbed a bottle of water from the coolers outside and she made her way to the back of the building, where the large semi-circular couches were located. Aveline found her group and they immediately welcomed her with smiles and gentle teasing about actually making an appearance at a social event. Aveline grinned and teased them back joining easily in the conversation with her deployment family.
Someone had made it off base that afternoon and there were platters of hummus and relishes and rolls of shawarma. Aveline grabbed a healthy portion of hummus and a chicken shawarma, because even though she was so tired of the chicken from the DFAC, it really was the best. She settled in between her fellow nurses; Captain Dawn Clause and Captain Lindsey DuLac, sipping her water and laughing at Sergeant Hernandez' animated recounting of his latest adventures as a paramedic on base.
She had been there maybe an hour when she felt it…felt Him. Her abandoned plate was in front of her on the low table, water bottle empty and crushed on top of it. Aveline had started thinking about how she was going to graciously extricate herself from this situation when the pull from her nascent bond lit up in her mind's eye. Aveline gasped as her chest tightened in response. She stood abruptly and frantically looked for exits, cursing her innate lack of situational awareness.
This was a peril of being a military nurse; yes she was in the military, but not necessarily the best at defending or taking care of herself in actual combat. Aveline was always immensely grateful to the Army and Marines for providing her with the protection she knew she would be unable to muster for herself in a real life or death situation.
There were the two main entrances at the other end of the room, and one fire exit at the back of the building near her, guaranteed to alarm if she tried that route. Shit. Who designed this place with only one way out? Aveline quickly gathered up her trash and wished everyone leaving safe travels. Her shoulders stiffened as she felt Him enter the large main room. She must have looked as frightened as she felt because Sergeant McClintock came up to her slowly and said "Ma'am, are you okay? You don't look so good." Aveline smiled at him weakly.
"I'm okay Mac, I just have to go. I saw someone…" her mind raced…"A former patient. He made me uncomfortable when he was my patient, and I would prefer not to run into him in a social setting." There! That was perfect.
Mac bristled and nodded understanding. "I'm walking you out Ma'am." His firm gaze brooked no argument. Aveline nodded, knowing he was probably the most intimidating of all her medical techs, being 260 pounds of solid muscle that he had worked on for the last five months.
"Thanks Mac, I appreciate it. Can we go around the edge of the room, I saw him last up by the bar." He nodded and led the way into the crush of bodies as she followed in his wake. As they approached the front of the room she could feel Him, God He was so close. Aveline kept her eyes firmly locked on a point in the middle of Sergeant McClintock's substantial shoulders and resisted the call in her soul to search, to find, to join. He must have pushed his way into the center of the room as she was edging out the door because she could now feel him behind her.
Once out in the hallway Aveline started walking faster and Mac lengthened his stride to keep up. She pushed out of the big double doors into the night as they heard an uproar break out from the room behind them. They walked quickly into the muggy night. After a while as she eased her pace and breathing, she could feel the distance once again lessening the grip of the fledgling bond. He wasn't following, He was staying behind. Mac relaxed as well as it became apparent they weren't being followed. She turned to him.
"Thanks for the escort out Sergeant, but I can make it home."
He eyed her carefully. "Which building do you live in?"
"Building seven."
"Ma'am, we're halfway there, and I've never seen a patient make you that uncomfortable. I'm walking you to your building. My mom would slap me upside the head if I did any different."
Aveline grinned, trying to picture this and nodded her acquiescence.
"All right Sergeant. Tell me about your baby girl while we walk. Is she crawling yet? Cause you know, once they're mobile it's a whole new ballgame." His eyes lit up like they always did when she asked about his infant daughter and he proceeded to recount her latest achievements in the realms of eating new foods and rolling herself on the floor. Aveline waved as he left her at the door of the dorm building, then hurried into her room and locked the door. Not that there was any need. He was definitely not following. Of that she was certain.
She slid down to the cool tile floor and curled into herself. God, His need, it had pierced straight through her this time, and she knew He had nearly locked in on her. She was lucky to be in a crowded, dark, loud room when this had happened. Aveline shuddered to think if he had walked into the tiny base library she frequented or the nearly empty morning movie matinees she sometimes went to after a shift. He would have locked on to her heartbeat instantly, the first step in bonding for a Sentinel. She never would have escaped.
After about ten minutes of moping and feeling sorry for herself, she grimaced and put on her game face. No more public outings. Work and home only. She considered avoiding the gym, but then thought better of it. Aveline always went at night, around 22 or 2300 and she didn't think anyone but fellow night shifters were there. Odds were decent that he wouldn't be there that late. Plus the gym was instrumental in keeping her sane in this fickle deployed setting. Ok fine, work, gym and home.
Aveline groaned, and the DFAC. She couldn't avoid that place forever, she had to eat. Though truthfully she only went for herself about once or twice a week, as she was dependent on her techs at night to go get food so she could stay with the patients. So minimal risk there. Okay. She just had to make it a little over a week and a half-ish, and then she would re-deploy home, and this would all be behind her. Feeling better Aveline got out her laptop to watch the newest Marvel movie she had been saving for a stressful moment.
~ooOoo~
The next evening as the bus pulled up to the hospital stop Aveline sat up straighter as her senses went on alert. No…it couldn't be. As she and Claudia stepped off the bus into the baking heat and circled around to the back of the building to the rear entrance (the one that conveniently let them come and go without alerting the watchful eyes of leadership) her nausea increased as her certainty grew. He was here! Right now, in HER hospital! He must have found out who she was somehow, or where she worked or something. Aveline racked her brains trying to figure out how He could have found out, not paying any attention until Claudia roused her from her panicked stupor with a "hey are you coming?"
"Yeah" she croaked, swallowing the bile that had risen in her throat. Aveline squared her shoulders and walked in. She quickly bee-lined for their small nurses station in between the Medical Ward and ICU staring desperately at the white-board on the wall that indicated the current patients. Only two patients, one appendectomy and one kid with a GI bug. Both were nineteen and one was a female. So not Him.
She sat down on the little file cabinet in the corner and somehow did shift change, including counting and verifying their stock of narcotics without retaining any knowledge of what she was doing. Unfortunately Captain Clause eventually noticed Aveline's distraction, which in itself was a minor miracle as the older Captain had one of the worst cases of ADD Aveline had ever encountered in an adult.
"What's wrong Vega, you don't look so good."
"I was just…" She cleared her throat, which was parched "I was just wondering about the Sentinel."
Clause's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow! You can feel him? How strong are you again?"
Aveline shook her head distracted, discussing her rating always made her uncomfortable. "Strong enough to know they're here."
"He's in the Sense-Dep room. Has been since last night. He was at the Kasbah and Zoned. Three Temp-Guides have tried to bring him out of it, but they have thus far been unsuccessful. Even Sergeant Hannet tried with no luck."
Aveline bit her lip and held her breath. Sergeant Hannet was a strong Temp-Guide, almost as strong as herself and he had a naturally Zen personality that worked on most injured, Zoned Sentinels. But he wasn't His Guide, and maybe that was the problem. Her Sentinel already had a taste of what he truly needed and now Temp-Guides wouldn't work.
"Sergeant Hannet said it's a strange Zone" Captain Clause continued. "He felt the Sentinel isn't trapped in a particular sense, but almost like he's stuck searching for something, or hiding from something. Said he'd never felt anything like it."
That's' because a Guide has never fought as hard as me to not bond Aveline thought angrily. She was sure this little scenario playing out had rarely, if ever happened before. It was all her fault.
Captain Clause eyed her shrewdly. She might have ADD, but no one ever accused her of being stupid. "Are you going to go to him? Are you going to try?"
Aveline shuddered, and took too long to respond.
"You have to try! You're the strongest Temp-Guide in the hospital! Probably on base! He's not doing well, I mean, he's already got the rash which usually takes a few days of being Zoned to form. His prognosis isn't good if we don't pull him out of this soon." Her hazel eyes hardened as she studied Aveline intently, her face in nursing mode.
"Captain Vega!" She began, exasperated, when Claudia or Captain Rae as her name badge and rank now indicated, walked into the tiny office after changing into scrubs.
"What's going on? Why are we yelling at Vega?" she asked mildly, knowing that Captain Clause had a flair for the dramatic at times.
Aveline gritted her teeth. She had spent almost six months with these two women. She had to trust them to understand.
"Shut the door." Claudia nodded and complied, this was something they only did when they truly wanted to discuss something private, because it immediately made the tiny room feel even smaller.
"My mother was a very strong Sentinel, an upper level 5 on the American 1-6 scale. She also came from a very old, wealthy family. My father…My father was one of the last Guides bound under the old laws." They gasped, eyes wide with shock.
"Her family, they essentially bought my father. He was a strong Guide, and had been kept all his life in protective custody at a Guide Center because of it. They weren't a true match, my mother and father, but my mother was strong enough she…she forced the bond." Aveline had kept her eyes closed for this vile story and she opened them at this point to stare at them both with hard eyes.
"I'm telling you this because I want you to understand where I'm coming from. I am their only child, and when I manifested as a Guide instead of a Sentinel, my mother was furious! She hated me and my father because of it. When I was five he smuggled me out and trained me to control and hide my gift. Hide how strong I truly am. The minute I turned eighteen I signed up for the Air Force and pushed for the Nurse Corps. I wanted to get as far away from the life I knew, and the Military has always been first in equal rights for minority groups, including Sentinels and Guides." She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, straightening the blunt bob.
"I've always told myself that I would never ever allow a Bond to be forced upon me, and that I would use my skills as a Guide to help Sentinels in need. I have always lived in fear of ever meeting my Sentinel, that I would be forced to bond with them. That I would live the life of a slave. That fear had faded some as I hit my late twenties, and now that I'm thirty three, well, I counted myself in the clear." They both nodded in agreement. They knew the statistics.
Aveline laughed mirthlessly, a dark hollow sound that ended in a sob as she dropped her face into her hands.
"The Sentinel in the Sense-Dep room…He's my Sentinel."
There was silence as she shuddered, trying to reign in her raging emotions.
"I never expected…I had truly thought that I was going to remain un-bonded. But now he's here, and locked in a Zone because of me." Aveline lifted her tearstained face and looked into their shocked ones.
"I felt him for the first time in the DFAC a couple of days ago, remember Rae?"
Claudia nodded mutely, the memory of the incident still fresh in her mind.
"Last night, I was at the Kasbah for the going away party and I felt him come in. I ran again, hoping against hope that I could make it to the end of this deployment without running into him again. I never thought…I never meant for this to happen."
Aveline looked to Captain Clause, a woman old enough to be her mother, hell she had been more of a mother to her in the six months of this deployment than her own mother ever had been.
"What do I do?"
Captain Clause gripped Aveline's hands tightly and looked her firmly in the eye, her mom face on. She'd had a lot of practice at this, since she had raised, and was still raising seven children. Her oldest son was three years older than Aveline, and her youngest daughter a Junior in high school.
"I know you're scared. I know you think that the 'relationship' your parents had could happen to you. But you're wrong. You said yourself they weren't a true Pair-Bond. This goes beyond your fears of belonging to another person, because if you're right, he belongs to you just as much. This man, this Sentinel was made just for you and you for him. You will never know anyone as completely as you will know him. He can never own you, because you already own him. You literally hold his life in your hands right at this very moment. You could walk away, leave him in the Sense-Dep room and leave the country next week. But you know as well as I do that he has fixed at least a partial Bond on you, and while he may not have been aware of your existence before, he is now, and he's searching. He will search for you until he dies." She let go of my hands and stood up.
"I know you Vega, and I know that even though you're terrified you could never condemn an innocent man to death." She gripped my shoulders and pulled me to my feet. "Come on. Blow your nose, wipe your face off, and let's go meet your Sentinel's team. Find out what kind of man he is."
Aveline did as she was told and followed Captain Clause out into the hallway with a brief watery smile and a quick hug from Claudia. Captain Clause was right. If Aveline didn't go to him now, his vitals would slowly deteriorate, and he would eventually die. Oh it would take a long time, months even with all the advances in medical care. But the end result would still be the same. He would never stop searching for her, for his Guide. She had to put her fears aside and do this.
Taking several deep breaths she wiped her face as they rounded the corner to the hallway of the only Sense-Dep room in the hospital. Aveline wasn't surprised to see three men in OCPs sprawled in uncomfortable plastic chairs in the hallway. They stood as the two Captains approached, recognizing their ranks, and Aveline realized as they turned toward her that they were Army. Oh God, not just Army, Special Forces Army. She took in their patches and beards and hesitantly made eye contact with each of them. She thinned her shields enough to sense them and gasped at the sorrow and worry radiating from them. Whoever this man was, he was much loved by his teammates.
Aveline nodded to the Sergeant First Class since he was highest ranking in their little group. "I'm Captain Vega. I'm a Temp-Guide and ICU nurse here at the hospital. Are you in charge?" He nodded his acknowledgment, glancing furtively at the door. "I'm Sergeant Booker and yeah, I guess I am in charge ma'am." She looked at Captain Clause and nodded once to let her know that she was okay, that she would see this through. Clause studied her for a long moment then nodded and turned back down the hallway back to the ICU.
"Call if you need anything Vega."
"Yes Ma'am." Aveline replied.
Aveline turned back to the Sergeant once she had gone and indicated an empty exam room a little way down the hallway. "Sergeant Booker, can I speak with you privately for a few minutes?"
He eyed her, assessing and nodded. "Sure ma'am."
He went in the room ahead of her and as she closed the door he rounded on her in the tiny space. "What's going on with my CO ma'am? The docs said he's stuck in a Zone and I know at least three Temp-Guides have tried to shake him loose but they can't break it… Do you think you can help him?"
She backed up and leaned against the exam table in the room fortifying her shields against his anxiety.
"Sergeant, I do believe I can help him, but first I need you to answer some questions for me."
"Sure, anything!" he exclaimed. "I'll tell you what I can, as long as it's not classified above your security clearance."
Aveline smiled wanly at him. If only he knew how high her security clearance was, but there wasn't time for that right now. She tried to sort through her scattered thoughts. First, the basics.
"I'm sorry Sergeant, I just came on shift and I sensed the Sentinel's distress and came straight here. Could you tell me his name? Rank? The basic stuff first?"
He leaned back against the wall and sighed. "Sure, that's easy. He's Major Colby Granger, he's um, 35 or 36 I think, and he's our Commanding Officer when he's not…you know…unconscious."
She gave him a small smile as her heart raced. He was also an Officer, even outranked her. When it came to Sentinel/Guide Pair bonds the military said it didn't care about rank or gender, but this definitely eased things for them. "Okay. Can you tell me about him? What does he like, what kind of man is he?"
Booker eyed her speculatively. "Okay. The other Temp-Guides didn't do an interview."
"This information will help me establish an empathic bond more quickly. I promise I have Major Granger's best interests at heart." Oh if he only knew. Actually he would have to know, and probably before she went into that room and changed both of their lives forever.
"He's a good guy. Laid back, not a pain in the ass like some Officers, no offence ma'am." she nodded and smiled encouragingly.
"I know in his down time he likes camping and fly fishing. He's been in the Army since he was eighteen. I know they occasionally try to match him up with a Guide, but ever since he made Major he's been better able to fend the Leadership off. Especially since he hasn't…well hadn't Zoned in years."
He hung his head and rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "He's had two Zones this week and now I know we won't be able to press forward."
Aveline's breath caught in her throat. "Sergeant is your team headed home, or further in?"
He stiffened and looked at her, assessing with all of his considerable training. She stood straight and tall, taking his stare and returning it with one of her own.
"Sergeant, I don't need to know details. Bare bones it for me."
"We're headed in. The Major is the brains behind this Op, and if it goes according to plan, we'll make a dent in a deck of cards if you catch my drift ma'am."
His shoulders sagged, as he folded in on himself. "Well, we would have, but now with this…" he gestured generally to the hospital around him.
"We are on the cusp, and we definitely can't replace the Major this late in the game. We might not have another opportunity like this anytime soon."
She nodded in understanding. "So we need to pull him out of this and get you guys on your way."
He shook his head exasperated. "You know as well as I do ma'am that I can't take him into the field like this. He's already been recalled to go before the Boards from the first incident a couple of days ago. This is just the nail in his coffin. Even if he didn't have to do that, well he was already freaked from the first Zone and I know he won't let us continue with him after this. He doesn't trust himself or his senses anymore." He stopped and gathered himself.
"Ma'am, that's really the most depressing thing to see, because once you've seen him leading a firefight in full Sentinel mode, that's not something you forget. To have the Major doubting himself…Ma'am, he's one of the strongest, kindest people I know and this has…this has the potential to destroy him." He slumped further down, and she could sense his distress even though he was trying to keep a tight lid on his emotions.
"Unless he fully bonded with a Guide." she said softly. "This wouldn't be an issue if he bonded with his Guide, right Sergeant?"
He scoffed and stood, straightening his blouse and fingering the pistol in his thigh holster, more out of habit than any kind of threat. Aveline had done the same thing when she was armed on previous deployments. "Of course this would all go away if he was Bonded, but didn't you hear me? He never matched with anyone and he gave up on trying. They even tried to assign a Temp-Guide to him, to our team just in case and he fought it fiercely. He said he wouldn't be the reason that a Guide couldn't find their match. And if they came with us, well, let's just say we disappear a lot, and there's not a lot of opportunity for meeting prospective Sentinels. The leadership gave him some push back, but after he proved he could function quite sufficiently and lethally on his own, they backed off."
He pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Jesus, this is all so fucked. I've never seen him Zone before ma'am, and to see him like this now." He shook his head, and she could feel the despair and worry rolling off him in waves.
They both stood in silence, each contemplating their own dark thoughts.
"So what now ma'am? Why do you think you can succeed where the other Temp-Guides have failed?"
Aveline decided that she would be honest with the Sergeant since he had been as honest with her as he could. It also didn't hurt that she could sense that he truly cared for his CO and was concerned for his condition, not just the loss of the mission. This Sergeant Booker was a good man, and if her Sentinel had inspired such devotion in him, well, she hoped he was a good man too. Aveline stepped forward and caught his gaze, his sharp blue eyes meeting her dark brown ones.
"Sergeant I will succeed today where others have failed because I know why your CO Zoned."
He leaned toward her "how could you know? You weren't even there!"
She stood her ground. "I know because I was there. It's because I was there that he Zoned. He's MY Sentinel. I am HIS Guide. He tried to lock on to me and Zoned because of it. He's in this mess now because I was too afraid to face him, too afraid of what bonding might mean for me. I never thought about what it would mean for him if I didn't bond with him." She lowered her head in shame and felt the shock rolling off Sergeant Booker. Aveline took a deep breath and strengthened her resolve. "If what you say is true, that he is a good man and key to this mission, then I have no right to take everything from him just because of my fear…I will do this…for him."
Sergeant Booker reached forward to grab her shoulders but she danced nimbly out of his surprised reach before he could touch her. "Sergeant, I would advise you not to touch me right now…If he smells you on me." He nodded his understanding, and hope flared in his mind for the first time since they met. "Christ you're serious aren't you? You really are his Guide?"
"I am."
"Okay. Okay." He ran his hands excitedly through his hair, making the dark brown locks stick up in wild tufts. "What happens now?"
"Now you go back to your team and reassure them about their CO, and the mission and I go change and…"she gulped "and I go in."
His cheeks pinked and Aveline knew he was thinking about the bonding process. "Ah yeah, um good luck?" he said with an easy boyish grin.
Her cheeks flushed as well and she quickly looked anywhere but at him. "Right, sure." she moved to the door and he easily stepped out of her way. She turned to him one last time before she left. "Thank you Sergeant. You've definitely made this easier for me."
He nodded solemnly "Yes ma'am. Anytime. I could say the same thing for you." They smiled at each other, the beginning of a new friendship forming quickly and he winked at her brazenly. "Now go save your man!" Aveline laughed in spite of herself.
Aveline left the tiny exam room and headed down the hallway past the door to the Sense-Dep room and the other members of his team, giving them quick nods as she passed them by. She could hear Sergeant Booker following her at a more sedate pace and she knew he would fill his men in on the upcoming change in their team's dynamic. She opened the door to the small changing room at the end of the hall and shut herself inside.
Aveline stared at nothing and tried to gather her strength and marshal her thoughts into some semblance of order. From what the Sergeant had told her she could feel the tiniest fluttering of hope that maybe this would turn out okay. Maybe she wasn't walking into her own personal hell with her eyes wide open. She grimaced. There was nothing for it. The Guide and nurse in her definitely couldn't leave him suffering, nor could the Military in her disrupt such a potentially important mission.
She pulled off her PT uniform and reached for the special scrubs sealed in plastic. They were made of the finest undyed linen and washed with completely unscented soaps per Sentinel/Guide Protocols. Aveline already used Guide-based unscented bathing and laundering products as well, because she never knew when she would be needed as a Temp-Guide. She put the scrubs on and pulled off her socks and shoes.
As she folded her clothes neatly and placed them on the provided shelf she took a few deep, calming breaths to center herself. Aveline tested the strength of her mental shields. Shaking her head she knew he must be a truly strong Sentinel to match with her, since she rated a level six on the stupid American scale. Even during her testing she was holding back. He must have held back too, to be allowed to continue field work.
Aveline opened the changing room door and stepped softly out into the hallway. Sergeant Booker and his two teammates stood as she approached, but said nothing. She could tell by their stares that they knew what she was doing, for them and for their CO. They all gave her respectful nods of encouragement, which she returned. She squared her shoulders and pushed open the door of the Sense-Dep room. Aveline glimpsed a huddled form on the hospital bed from the fluorescent hallway lights then nothing, as the room was plunged into complete darkness with the closure of the door.
She blinked out of instinct as her eyes tried to adjust to the lack of light, but it was useless, as this room was designed to minimize stimulation to an overtaxed Sentinel. That meant no light and padded reinforced walls to minimize sound as much as possible. The only equipment present would be the hospital bed with its current occupant on more specially laundered Sentinel/Guide approved sheets.
Aveline blushed, grateful for the complete darkness that protected her as she knew from protocol that the only clothing that would be on him was a sheet to help minimize the touch reaction. It sounded like it hadn't worked for her Sentinel if the rash had already appeared after one day. The darkness wouldn't be a problem for him when he woke up, his other senses would compensate to give him a complete picture of his surroundings no matter what the light level. Aveline closed her eyes and focused on her other normal senses as she slowly approached where she knew the bed to be from her training. She could hear his labored breathing and smell anxious sweat.
Aveline reached out with her empathy and gasped. His shields were so strong! Even in his distressed state she couldn't connect with him on a surface level to start bringing him out of this regressed state. She gently probed further with her mind and he moaned, immediately sensing the intrusion.
Sergeant Hannet was correct. He wasn't in a normal Zone. He was searching, and he was frightened so he had completely shielded himself from the world and buried his consciousness deep for protection. Her mind was reeling. He might not even realize that he was sensing her, his true Guide. All he knew was that his senses, which had been under control for years, were going haywire. He had retreated like he was under attack.
Arriving at the edge of the bed Aveline maneuvered herself up to the head. Reaching out blindly with her right hand she found warm, sweaty skin. His shoulder, since he was curled up protectively on his side facing away from the door. Even with touch strengthening her empathic exam, his shields remained firm. Kneeling she moved her hand gingerly to his chest to feel his heartbeat racing under her palm.
Aveline took a deep breath, centering herself again. This would take a deep probe, and she didn't know how he would react. She gently placed her left hand on his head, feeling short sweat spiked hair as she leaned forward and touched their foreheads together. Concentrating on synchronizing their breathing, feeling his muscles trembling under her touch, she let go of herself to find him.
~ooOoo~
She fell through darkness, wind whipping around her, indistinct voices off in the distance until she landed with a hard thud on packed dirt. The air was knocked out of her and she lay there gasping like an undignified fish for a few minutes before she could get her breathing back under control. Aveline coughed and spit as the dust she had stirred up from her impact filled her mouth and nose with its metallic tang. She sat up slowly and took in her surroundings.
She had never been here exactly, but Aveline recognized it as any of the villages in Afghanistan or Pakistan. She had landed on the outskirts with the dirt, rocks and huge mountains looming all around. She stood up slowly, aching from the impact and the energy it took to pierce through his initial layer of shields to even get to this mindscape.
As Aveline walked toward the village, her unease increased and she knew if he had trapped himself here, it was a direct manifestation of his fear. This was not a good place. The sun was glaringly hot, but the shadows were sharp and dark. She had a sense of being watched by malevolent forces. She rounded a corner and found herself staring down the main street of this peculiar village, with its rows of shops, souqs and street vendors all deserted. As far as she could tell the whole place was empty…except for Him, and now her.
Aveline looked down at herself and realized she was in full battle gear, with her 9mm strapped to her hip like it had been on her other deployments. She tucked herself back against the nearest building and decided quickly that she couldn't present herself this way, even though apparently her subconscious felt threatened enough to outfit her in full protection. No, she was the only one of them that truly knew what was going on, and she had to be as non-threatening as possible.
The first thing to come off was her helmet, dumped unceremoniously in the dust. Aveline had always hated that thing, it never fit right and it made her head hurt after a while. Next she wiggled out of her plated vest and dumped it next to the helmet. She was already breathing easier to have the extra weight off of her shoulders. It was also much cooler without the armored gear on, as sweat had already started its familiar trek between her shoulder blades and down her spine. Aveline unstrapped the M9 from her hip and tossed it aside.
Now Aveline stood only in her OCP's with her name, rank and US Air Force on her chest. Absently she patted herself down and she found her familiar kershaw pocket knife. She hesitated before adding it to the discard pile. While she used it as a tool, he would see it as nothing but a weapon and she had to be completely unarmed.
Aveline focused for a moment, altering the false reality just slightly then reached into her thigh pocket and pulled out a white arm band with a bright red cross on it. She pulled it on to her right arm so there could be no mistaking that she was medical. She patted her chest, reassured at feeling her dog tags against her skin in their customary spot. Now she felt like herself, like a Nurse and a Guide, not some sort of soldier going into battle. Aveline pulled her OCP cover out of her left thigh pocket where it belonged, flipped it once to unroll it and wiggled it firmly on her head. The bill offered scant protection against the blinding sun, but at least now she felt normal.
Aveline walked out into the bright main street, squinting and striding forward with a confidence she didn't really feel. She raised her arms out wide and tried to be as obvious and non-threatening as possible. She swallowed hard and fought her fear down, knowing that he might be able to sense it in his own mindscape. He was highly trained at protecting himself both physically and mentally, and if she aroused those instincts in him, well, it didn't bear thinking about. Like they said in the Matrix, the body cannot live without the mind. If he killed her here, it would be deadly in the real world as well. Her mouth was so dry, but she yelled out anyway.
"Major Granger!" she continued down the packed dirt road, passing black windows and doorways. "Major Granger please, I'm here to help you! My name is Captain Vega and I'm a Guide. I just want to talk!" She kept walking slowly, knowing he was nearby, knowing he could hear every word. She slowed as she reached the center of the square, eerie in its desertion. Tables of scarves, knock-off sunglasses and watches lay abandoned in the midday sun.
"Major Gr-!" Her words were cut short by a gloved hand slamming over her mouth as she was physically hauled backwards into one of the buildings. She fought her rising panic and the innate urge to struggle against the sudden grip. She let him propel her into the darkness, the transition so abrupt that she was dazzled and couldn't see, a fact he was probably counting on. He spun her around deftly and she was face first against a cool stone wall. Aveline gasped more in surprise than pain as He manhandled her professionally until she ended up with her hands against the wall and her legs spread in the classic prisoner pose.
"Shut the fuck up!" He hissed hoarsely. "I don't know who you are or what you think you're doing here, but you're going to get us killed if you keep yelling like that. Not another word. I'm going to ask you yes or no questions and you're going to nod. Do you understand?"
She nodded yes.
"Good. I'm going to blindfold you now, for my safety and for yours." Aveline's breathing hitched as she nodded her assent and she struggled to relax, to trust her training and his. Trust that he was doing what he needed to figure out if she was a threat the only way he knew how. She heard and felt him shift behind her as a cloth covered her eyes and was secured with a knot at the back of my head. Jesus, it must have been his own scarf because it smelled like dust and sweat and man. Her knees almost buckled as her lizard brain firmly cataloged and stored the scent of her Sentinel. She fought down a whimper as her own senses were overwhelmed by him. She refocused as she realized he was talking to her again.
"I'm going to search you. Do you have any weapons I should know about?"
Aveline shook her head no, grateful that she had thought to disarm herself, since his reaction to her presence was so strong. She focused for another quick second and made sure her official government ID's were in place for him to find. She bit the inside of her cheek to stifle a moan as he began to thoroughly and professionally search her.
God, even his hands on her like this was overwhelming. What would it be like if he touched her with a completely different intent? Suddenly she felt him back up and she heard the distinct sound of a racking weapon. Aveline instantly stiffened, slammed back into the reality of the dangers of his mindscape, and the dangers of a nearly feral Sentinel.
"You're going to turn around slowly, keep your arms out and your legs spread. I'm going to search your front. Do you understand?"
She nodded once more. Aveline could feel his gaze burning her as he searched for answers. She finished turning to face him and tipped her head to the side, baring her neck in a classic submissive pose between Sentinels and Guides. She could feel the surprise coming off of him in waves. Aveline heard him shift, lowering his weapon. She thinned her shields slightly, sending out quick tendrils of empathy to sense his mindset and was startled as a large hand pushed her against the wall with brutal force.
"Don' .That." He hissed through gritted teeth.
"Sorry!" She gasped, forgetting the rule of no talking. Her head was spinning, his shields were so strong, so layered, but on the edges she could feel his fear and anger, so tightly contained. She stood completely still, breathing hard and trembling slightly, more aware now than ever that if she wasn't very very careful this would result in not only her death, but his as well.
"I'm going to search you now. Hold still." Aveline could hear him breathing hard, but in the controlled manner of someone used to managing their adrenaline. Then his hands were on her collar, checking for wires and steadily working his way down. She blushed only slightly as he deftly felt her bra-line for any weapons or explosives. After all, the enemy used female suicide bombers with the idea that they wouldn't be searched as thoroughly. If he followed social norms, he would have ended up dead in this part of the world very quickly. He paused at the front of Aveline's chest when he encountered her ID cards hanging in her wallet under her blouse.
"What is that?"
"ID's sir" she replied quickly. "In a wallet around my neck." she kept still with her neck bared and shut her mouth quickly when she was done.
"Sir…" he muttered under his breath. "So I'm to believe that you're actually an Air Force Captain, and medical at that, from your armband. You're out here in the mountains of the Ghazni province alone?"
She nodded, and held her position against the wall. Waiting for his next move or his next command.
"I'm going to unzip your blouse and check your ID. Do not move." His words were punctuated by the distinct snikt of a blade springing open.
He approached and laid the flat of the blade against her throat as a warning which she took very seriously. Aveline was already sweating and trying to control her trembling when she felt him in her personal space. Her body screamed to reach out to him. He easily opened the worn Velcro patches of the fabric over the zipper of her blouse, and then eased it down. Aveline's mind was screaming with a torrent of messages, terror and embarrassment mixed with want and need in a dizzying cocktail that left it difficult for her to breathe.
He fished her wallet out and cut its string with a deft flick of the amazingly sharp knife that moments before had rested against her carotid. Aveline could hear the familiar rip of the Velcro as he opened the simple cloth wallet and took in her ID's. She was careful to include her Government ID with its red cross (identifying her as medical) and the blue prism (identifying her as an official government sanctioned Temp-Guide) as well as her Geneva Convention Card. Both had her photograph and the name matched her uniform. Aveline heard him grunt and again his surprise rolled over her.
"Who are you? What are you doing here alone!?" She could hear him pacing and it took all her willpower to stay in position and not try to follow the sounds of his footsteps with her head.
"Why…why can't I smell you? If you truly are Air Force Medical…How the hell did you get out here alone? You belong with a team, with a protection detail. You can… you can answer." He finished lamely, bewildered.
Aveline swallowed hard and scrambled in her mind. Where to begin? She opted for the truth.
"My name is Aveline Vega, and I am a Captain in the United States Air Force. I'm also an ICU Nurse, and a Temp-Guide. You're very correct Major in stating that normally in this setting I definitely wouldn't be out here alone, and I would usually rely on someone like yourself for protection. However this scenario is unique in that I'm the only one who could come here to you…because here isn't real. We're inside your mind Major."
"What?! How is that even possible?"
"You're in the Hospital at Al Udeid. You're in a deep Zone, and I…I came here to rescue you. To bring you back."
"This is crazy! What do you mean this is all in my head? If that's true, how did you get here?"
"Think Major! How did you get here? I bet you don't really remember how you got here do you? Where are all the villagers? Where is your team? You can't tell me you would normally be here in this setting alone?" She paused to catch her breath and was greeted by silence. She started again slowly.
"What about your senses? You can't smell me properly, and I bet when you touched me earlier it was muted and strange as well."
He resumed pacing back and forth breathing hard. Aveline could hear him murmuring under his breath as he tried to reconcile the scenario she presented with the information his senses were, and weren't telling him. Several minutes later he stopped in front of her.
"Say you are telling the truth. How do we get out of here?"
"You…you have to let me in. You have to drop your shields."
"No. Fucking. Way." He ground out fiercely and she could feel alarm and rage battering against her shields. "This isn't the first time I've been mind-fucked Captain" He sneered her rank like a curse, "and while you're a lot more convincing than the last person it's gonna take more than that to get anywhere with me."
She had done this to him. Her fear of their bond had reduced him to this semi-feral state, an awful place for a Sentinel normally so in control of himself and his senses. He would never let her in. She had to…She had to give him what he needed. Swallowing hard, Aveline took a deep breath and tried not to focus too hard on the fact that her Sentinel, HER Sentinel had just admitted that he had been psychically raped in the past. They would cross that bridge when they came to it. When she was given permission to speak she had instinctively moved her head to follow the sound of his voice. She once again spread her arms, palms out and bared her neck to him. She didn't want there to be any doubt about her intentions.
"Take what you need Sentinel." She stated firmly, and dropped her own shields completely.
His mindscape reacted instantaneously with a vicious ferocity Aveline had been anticipating, and yet it still took her breath away. He barely had time to utter a shocked "Wha!" and his subconscious pounced with all the force of his extensive training on her foreign presence. She must have screamed, because the pain as her mind was ripped into was worse than anything she had ever experienced. She was flayed wide before him; there were no walls, no secrets, no barriers.
Aveline heard him yelling as the pain lessened in her head to a dull throb, but she couldn't make out his words. She felt herself sliding and collapsing to her knees as her sense of hearing greyed out to join her already darkened vision. Strong hands caught her before she could pitch completely onto the floor. The blindfold was ripped off but it was too late, she was losing the fight to remain conscious and everything blurred into shadows. She shuddered as he gripped her arms.
"I believe you! I believe you! Christ, don't die on me! I just…I just found you! How…Tell me how to get us out of here…Vega!" She startled momentarily at her name flowing from his lips.
"You…you have to let me in. I…I think once your shields are down I can pull us…back." There was a rushing sound in her ears as she felt the warmth of him against her. Aveline heard him murmur something against the shell of her ear, and then his shields cracked and shattered. She gasped and pushed with the last of her mental strength to break through the barrier of this illusion and there! A tear of white light in the fabric of this awful place formed, and gained momentum. As the light engulfed them both she relinquished her tenuous grasp on consciousness with no idea if she would wake up in the hospital or on the other side of that white void.
~~ooOoo~~
Oh God her…her everything hurt. Aveline kept her eyes tightly closed as she clenched her jaw and fought her rolling stomach. She could feel the ground under her, and it must be a wall in front of her because Aveline was wedged tightly against it by something. No, not something her sluggish brain supplied, someone. Aveline could feel the warm solidity of another person behind her; feel their gasping breaths that matched her own.
Blinking her eyes hesitantly brought no answers to the questions surfacing in Aveline's aching skull as she was greeted by darkness. Where was she? Who was behind her, essentially covering her body with theirs? Aveline couldn't even find the energy to be embarrassed by their compromising position. Actually, she acknowledged, something would have to give soon because they were heavy and she couldn't take a full breath. She began to struggle weakly and the person moved quickly away while saying something undiscernible. Apparently her ears were just as fuzzy and non-functional as the rest of her. Great.
Aveline lay there gasping and shaking, trying to get her body and mind under control. Slowly the room stopped spinning and she heard someone whisper "Lights?" She nodded and clamped her eyes closed. After a few seconds she opened them gingerly and sighed in relief as the light was dim and golden, not glaring. Aveline was staring at the white padded wall of…the Sensory Deprivation room. Even though it felt like every joint was throbbing in unison, she slowly pushed herself up to her knees and reached blindly for the handrail that she knew to be running around the perimeter of the room.
This must be what a newborn colt feels like Aveline mused as she stood breathing hard. She waited for her heart and muscles to calm while she closed her eyes and took stock of her mental shields. Shit. They were barely there, torn to shreds. Leaning heavily against the padded wall Aveline took a few minutes to shore her shields up as best she could and then finally she was able to focus on what was happening around her.
Aveline was in the far corner of the room, facing the closed door. The hospital bed was still in the center of the room sans its former occupant. Granger, her tired mind supplied. Colby Granger, my Sentinel. Blinking hard as the room swam into focus she saw and heard him at the same time. He was plastered in the farthest corner opposite her, back hard against the wall, bare-chested with the bedsheet wrapped around his waist. He was gasping and gripping the handrail like his life depended on it.
As he came further into focus Aveline couldn't help a faint blush as she realized…my Sentinel is Hot. Even with his eyes tightly closed and his face turned away from her, she took in his soft brown hair and beard, his broad shoulders tapering to a narrow waist with defined musculature that Aveline recognized as functional, rather than for show. He was the same height as her, and she for the first time in her life found she didn't care. Normally as a tall woman she liked her dates to be at least six foot to accommodate her five feet nine inches, but he…he was perfect. Aveline frowned as her nursing brain cataloged several scars scattered across his otherwise smooth chest and abdomen. Bighting her lip she shook her head, rebuking herself. He didn't get into his current position in the military by riding a desk, or being safe. Feeling better Aveline let go of the handrail and took a few hesitant steps toward him.
"Don't!" He gasped, and Aveline noticed the sweat running down his hairline and chest. If it was possible he grasped the handrail tighter and she could see all his muscles tense. Oh and there were so many of them to see! Her dirty mind supplied. "Please don't come any closer…I…I can't hold out much longer."
"What's wrong? How can I help you?" Aveline murmured softly. Her innate need to be near him was coming back full force, and she could feel their bond gaining strength with a powerful thrum in her bones. She may have been able to resist him from across a crowded room, but here and now, faced with him alone, Aveline knew it would be impossible. And surprisingly, she was okay with that.
"I won't…" He shuddered, "I won't tie you to me. I could never…force you…its too dangerous…I won't…swore to myself." He shook his head and then hung it down, eyes firmly closed, chin to his chest as though ashamed. Aveline could see his muscles trembling as he fought his Sentinel nature with every fiber of his being.
"Just go, while you can." He whispered. Aveline's mind reeled with incredulity as she realized the universe really did give her the person she truly needed to be whole. She, the Guide who would never be a slave, apparently had a Sentinel who would never be an owner. They fit. Aveline took two more steps toward him and he flinched.
"I can no more leave you than you can let me." She swallowed hard.
"I couldn't leave you like this, and I think…that you would spend the rest of your life searching for me if I did." He groaned softly as she took another two steps toward him.
"I was afraid of this Bond, of you. It's my fault you Zoned. But now I've seen you, now I know you and I'm not afraid anymore. You shouldn't be afraid either." Aveline closed the distance until she was within arm's reach of him but holding back. She wouldn't touch him without his permission. Oh Christ, she could smell him now, a mixture of sweat and dust, with something like sandalwood and male mixed into an intoxicating musk that made her head spin. If she could smell him with her normal Guide senses, who knew what he was scenting off her. Actually, she blushed; he was probably scenting everything, which made his self-control even more impressive.
Aveline stiffened as her empathy glanced off the myriad of his emotions, none of them positive. He made no move and offered no response. She gasped as a sharp ache formed in her chest where their fledgling bond faltered as she began to doubt. Maybe his control was good enough to go on without her; maybe he really didn't need her, or want her. He was so strong and beautiful and she was…well…compared to him…who was she kidding…under normal circumstances he wouldn't look at her twice. Aveline bit back a sob as her thoughts spiraled into darkness and the bond flickered again. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and resigned herself to a lonely fate. A fate you were determined to leave him to not two hours ago her dark snarky side quipped. It was true. This was exactly what she deserved for starting this whole mess.
"Please." Aveline whispered, more to herself than to him as she shored up her meager shields in an attempt to protect herself. She froze in place as she felt his strong hands cup her jaw and his callused thumbs wiped her tears away. He had tied in his sense of touch now.
"If I never see you cry again it will be too soon." He whispered with his forehead pressed against hers. Their breaths intermingled and Aveline kept her eyes closed because she knew once their gazes locked it would be over. He continued his soft stroking of her face and jaw, and Aveline knew he was memorizing what scent and feel he could.
"Open your eyes." Aveline shook her head, afraid and hurting. "Please look at me…I wanted to protect you by pushing you away, but now I know that I could never hurt you. Please look at me Aveline."
Slowly Aveline opened her eyes and locked gazes with him. Green was all her mind could supply as the Bond flared to life and locked into place. "Sentinel" she moaned as he replied with a gasped "Guide." They rocked together and he pulled her to him as she curled into his broader frame. He pressed her tightly against his chest and scented and licked along her neck. Immediately Aveline groaned and bared more skin for him, which made him rumble a growl of approval deep in his chest. While not removing his mouth from this amazing task he managed to maneuver her around and scoop her easily into his arms and carry her over to the bed.
Colby sat her down on its edge like she was made of the most precious porcelain and grudgingly pulled himself away from her. Kneeling in front of her he gripped her thighs tightly and rested his forehead on her knees gasping for breath. Aveline reached down tentatively and carded her fingers through his soft spiky brown hair. He gained some control over his breathing and slowly looked up. She whimpered as his gaze met hers, so sad and broken. "I just need to be sure that you okay with this, that you're okay with everything. I could never force you. I need you to know that I'm not whole, that my shields…that I couldn't stop them before…"
Colby averted his gaze and Aveline's heart bled. She hoped whoever had done this to her Sentinel had paid in full. If not, well, she was going to do something about it. She leant forward and cupped his chin, bringing his desolate stare back to her own. They both shivered minutely as their Bond made itself known.
"Your shields, while impressive, are nothing compared to mine. I was made for you Colby I know that now, and maybe I was made to make you whole. You will keep me safe in this world, and I will keep your heart and mind safe in ours. I want this, I want you. Let me in so I can show you how unbroken we can be together."
Aveline could feel his emotions ricochet in all different directions as she gripped his bare shoulders and pulled him up to stand in front of her. Her heart ached as she took in the scars that littered her Sentinels body, and she reached out and placed a palm over two in his chest she knew to be bullet wounds. His larger hand immediately covered hers.
"My life is dangerous." He stated simply.
"I know. I understand." Aveline replied just as calmly and she caught the waves of relief washing over him.
"Y'know, I think you do understand. I've always wondered how I could ever explain my life to a Guide, to my Guide." He cleared his throat. "But I don't have to. You've seen…things." He looked at her meaningfully "you know."
Aveline nodded, sharing a look with him that only those who have seen combat, or in her case the direct results of combat can share. "I have seen things. I do know. I understand."
"Christ" he gasped like a benediction and cradled her face in his hands, his eyes disbelieving as he drew near. "you, you were made for me."
"And you for me" she whispered as their lips brushed. Hesitant and soft at first, Aveline groaned as he made his need and experience known, tasting her deeply. She could feel the bond flowing, thrumming, picking up strength as their movements became more uncoordinated and frantic. Colby somehow managed to wriggle her out of her scrubs with only a slight pause for him to gasp
"Jesus you have ink! That's so fuckin hot!" as he delved back to exploring her mouth as thoroughly as he could. Finally there was nothing between them but the hastily wrapped sheet around his waist. Colby caressed her ribs gently as she slowly unwrapped him from the offending cloth. Aveline's mouth went dry at the sight of this beautiful man before her, all lean muscle and scars. He was by far one of the hottest men she'd ever seen, and the hottest man she'd ever been with. Aveline told him so. Growling he eased her onto her back and settled his hips between her thighs.
"Sweetheart, I'm the last man you're ever going to be with." Aveline nodded her agreement, and they both paused breathing hard.
"Now?" he whispered, pupils blown wide so that she could only discern a faint jade ring around the black. Aveline nodded again.
"Now."
As he filled her body with his, their bond snapped into full fruition and Aveline flooded his heart and mind with hers. Their lives were open to each other, nothing hidden, nothing spared. She watched through his own horrified eyes as he fell back, the snipers center mass shots hitting true and piercing his armor. She groaned as her own shoulder and chest ached in sympathy. Colby clenched his fists in her hair and gritted his teeth at her memories of young soldiers blown up by IED's screaming for their friends, and Afghan children full of shrapnel and ball bearings from suicide bombers. They clung to each other and started moving, easing the physical pain and emotional hurts.
Colby's shields were impressive, like a labyrinth with rigid walls and shells within shells. Aveline's shields flowed in like the opalescent sheen of oil on water. She filled every nook and cranny she could find with flexible strength, shoring him up, while building herself a nest in his mind and soul. He keened as she found the wounded parts of his psyche and with the painful sharpness similar to resetting a bone she snapped his damaged defenses back into place and filled the gaps with her own liquid warmth. Separately, they were formidable, but together, working in harmony, they would be unstoppable. As all the pieces fell into place and their bond glowed bright and strong in both their minds they yelled their climax and fell into a soothing darkness.
Aveline woke up an indeterminate amount of time later cradled half against, half under her Sentinel. She smiled against his neck and wiggled her toes against his. Colby groaned and whispered in her hair.
"Your long legs are so fucking hot. I can't decide if you're my savior or if you're going to be the death of me." Aveline tested their bond, pleased with its strength as she uncurled to kiss him softly on the mouth.
"Who says that is an or situation and not an and?" she teased impishly while stroking his soft beard and drowning in his tender gaze.
"I could stay here forever like this" he ran his fingers through her sweaty hair his gaze turning bewildered.
"What is it?" Aveline whispered.
"How…How could I be so lucky. I've never had anything this amazing happen to me. How can you be here now? For me?" Aveline looked back at him and shrugged. He was right, from what she had seen in their bonding nothing in his life had ever been what you would call easy, and he had fought tooth and nail for every scrap.
"Maybe the universe knew we were due." She kissed him again softly and pulled away, sitting up and searching for her clothes. Bemused he affectionately traced the tattoo on her ribs.
"What's the rush?" he rumbled, his deepened voice sending shocks along her nerves. Aveline stilled, hating to do this, but there was nothing for it.
"Your mission." She whispered. He tensed behind her and sat up abruptly.
"What!? What do you know? Wait, what's today?" he scrambled off the bed a whirled around at her amused snicker. His backside was truly as appealing as his front.
"Where are my clothes?" Aveline finished pulling on her scrubs and padded over to a narrow closet in the corner and fished out a larger set of scrubs for him.
"Here, put these on for now. I think your team has your belongings."
He swayed and swallowed hard, then began pulling on the scrub pants.
"My team…They're here." she nodded. His eyes were distant.
"The mission, it's still a go?" she nodded again. He eyed her keenly "how can you know, I mean, how much do you know?" Aveline shrugged.
"I don't know details, but I know and understand enough to know it's important. Sergeant Booker didn't break any security protocols I promise. Oh, and Colby, I'm going with you."
He froze in the process of pulling his shirt down, covering those delicious abs she noted with dismay, his gaze flinty.
"Like hell you are."
Aveline stepped up to him, matching him glare for glare "our Bond is too new, we won't tolerate being separated. Hours ago you were dying, this was the only way."
"It's too dangerous." He growled, his fists clenched and eyes flashing dangerously.
Aveline sighed and leaned into him, slotting her narrower frame against his broad chest.
"I know it's dangerous. But you and your team will keep me safe. I'll help you use your senses in ways you didn't even know were possible so I know you're safe. We'll do this together and come home together."
The silence dragged on for what felt like eternity as she felt him weighing his options through the Bond. Aveline wondered to herself if given time and practice they could share thoughts and maybe even speak to each other through it. Finally he sagged against her.
"I don't like it."
"I know."
"We have to go soon."
"I know."
Colby crushed her to his chest in a bone creaking embrace and buried his face in her neck, scenting.
"You fucking stay behind me, and if I'm not there, you stay with Booker. I can't, I fucking can't lose you now that I've found you."
Aveline nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.
"You just promise me you won't get hurt more than I can patch up." She felt him nod and pull away slowly. He took her hand and locked his gaze with her. She shuddered as she felt the pure emotions flowing from him through the link; happiness, devotion, determination and yes, love. Aveline sent back her own raw emotions and he flinched and straightened at my outpouring of love and support.
"Okay" he rasped, gripping her hand tighter and tucking her in behind him as they walked toward the door. "Let's do this."
"Lets."
Fin