One-shot because I missed Reign...5 days to go...

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight

(I know he's there and)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room he stares)

I'll bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped to find

In every single way

And everything I would give

Is everything you couldn't take

'Cause nothing feels like home,

You're a thousand miles away

And the hardest part of living

Is just taking breaths to stay

'Cause I know I'm good for something

I just haven't found it yet

But I need it

Song: Miserable at Best
Artist: Mayday Parade
Album: A Lesson in Romantics

Narrator's Point of View

Another month had passed, then an entire season, then a whole year and the cycle began to repeat itself. The grass had just began to show itself and the snow making itself scarce; Mary couldn't help but allow herself outside and into the bright sun that had been hidden behind the constant cold, winter clouds. She knew she didn't have long before Francis came looking for her, he wouldn't approve of her being outside, skipping across the grounds like a happy child under the sun. He'd shake his head and his eyes would be guarded. She could imagine his pale skin, glowing under the sunlight as he demanded that she come inside and stop being immature.

He'd changed in the past 4 years they'd been married, if you could call it a marriage. Perhaps that is how all Royal Marriages ended up. To be honest, a royal never married out of love but out of how he or she might benefit from it. Maybe Francis and Mary just deluded themselves into thinking that they might be different. The hardships of being a leader had been too much for their marriage to take. Especially what happened to Mary, the fact that she blamed him for the wrongs commited against her. Every once and a while, a nightmare of her rapist would torture her but it wasnt as bad as the last time. Was that a sign? That she was getting better? No, she'd never be better. She'd be broken for good and that hurt her.

Mary winced slightly before shaking herself from her thoughts and went back to enjoying the warmth. She began to pick up a bundle of flowers as she made her way to the ocean side. Watching as the water sloshed against the banks, sparkling under the sun enjoying the spring time. Behind her she could hear foorsteps and she sighed; already Francis had found her. She didn't turn to look at him but instead watched the warm breeze roll through the trees.

"Not to worry. I was just on my way back inside." She began, prolonging her time.

"Don't leave on my account." Someone who didn't sound like Francis said. She turned around and gasped.

"Bash. You scared me. I thought you were Francis."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"Not a disappointment. Just a surprise. I havent seen you around the castle in awhile."

"Francis had me working overtime."

The stood in an uncomfortable silence.

"You don't seem upset that I am not Francis. Are you still angry with him for sending your beloved Conde away?" He started again, mocking her.

A flush of anger burned through her, making her cheeks red. "Still as cheeky as ever, Sebastian." She began to stomp toward the castle, if she went now she'd get away from Bash and maybe Francis wouldn't find out about her adventure outside of the castle, killing two birds with one stone.

"Mary, wait." Bash grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She pulled from his grasp and glared at him. "I apologize for the rudeness of my words. I guess I am still angry about Conde's brother more than I am about anything else that isnt my business. My anger is not for you."

Mary nodded, anger leaving and pity replacing it. Kenna had divorced Bash to marry higher. Conde's brother. The King of Navarre. She could understand his anger, it was quite jusitified. He sat down and hesitantly she joined him.

"I don't if I should be shocked or not that you are here. " He spoke with just a tinge of humor; Mary's brown creased, perplexed, as she processed his words but Bash could sense her confusion. "Maybe you're lonely...and looking for seconds."

Another wave of fury hit her, quickly it was beginning to overwhelm her, the way Bash could manipulate her feelings. Make her furious in seconds. "You make it so hard to be nice to you." She sighed in frustration, she was the Queen of France and Scottland, she refused to let him of all people make her feel anything she didn't want to feel.

He began to dig around in his jacket pocket for a moment before pulling out a small bottle of what was obviously alcohol. "I was talking about my friend here...what were you thinking about?" The mischievious glint in his eyes made it clear that he playing with her mind and she didn't like it.

Mary snatched the bottle from his hands, if she was going to have to put up with him, she'd need a drink. "I'm here to get some peace, what are you here for?" She asked before taking a gulp of liquor, shutting her eyes tightly as it made its way down her throat. It'd been too long since she'd had anything harder than wine.

"Just the same." He plucked the bottle from her hands. "You should probably be careful with that, I can recall a time when you regretted drinking in this very spot."

Her eyes narrowed. "I can assure you, I hold my own now. And besides, I've learned my lesson."

"About drinking or about Francis not liking his future wife, or now wife, kissing other men? If I remember correctly, the last time you were upset about Olivia." He looked around dramatically. "I see no Olivia around...Oh right, it is not her in Francis's bed but Lola. Is that what upsets you?"

"The only thing that upsets me is that Lola felt that our friendship could not remain." Mary glanced over the rushing water, not meeting his gaze.

"You see thats what make you so different, not many queens could stand the thought of their husband loving any other woman especially not someone as close to them as their lady. Yet it isn't your marriage that worries you, it is your friendship with your husbands mistress, the mother of his child. Of his only child. And your still childless."

"Are you here to torture me? Laugh at me for not concieving a child when need be. The only basic job of a woman and I've managed a way of botching it completely. It isn't as simple as some might think."

"I'd never laugh at you for something so cruel. Especially knowing you have been through." Bash spoke tightly.

Mary wrung her fingers together, nervously as she moved her legs under her. She didn't know what to say. She knew that Bash had known but it had been so long since someone had spoken of the incident to her. Not even Francis brought it up anymore. Not that he cared enough to anymore.

"Do you hate him?" Bash asked so suddenly.

"Who?" Mary questioned.
"Francis." He said as if it were obvious.

"What would I hate Francis for?"

"You do blame him."
"I do not respect his past actions, but I know that they were to keep me safe, along with his mother and child."

"Plus he went to your lady in waiting for a second time."

"It was only natural, especially with the way that I hurt him by turning to Conde. I grew to Conde, I trusted him more, I fell in love with him when he was not my husband." Her tone was sorrowful.

She'd not only thrown her marriage to the rocks when she took notice of Conde's regard for her but she'd split up two cousins just as she almost split up two brothers. She was a danger to Francis and his relationships to his family and friends, never mind the fact that his family and the Bourbons had bad blood between them because in the end that blood is what binded them together whether they accepted it or not.

She began again. "Also, I released him long ago. It just took a little shove in the direction of the idea."

"You're calling Conde a 'little shove'." He scoffed.

"That isn't the main point here. The main point is that Francis is alive and well, his child is growing up healthy and has a good future ahead of him, and Lola is the cause of that happiness. Francis doesn't have to worry about upsetting me anymore. He is free."

"And what of you? Are you happy, are you free?" Bash questioned. It surprised Mary that Francis had not come looking for her just yet.

"If I'm quite honest, Conde was my step to freedom. I just wasn't ready to take it. When I finally was, Francis forbade it. And you know the rest."

"I can't imagine letting someone I love go the way you have. Even if I loved another."

"When you are broken, and you love someone, you grow to resent them just especially if it was they're actions that led to your demise. Once again, I know Francis meant well but it doesn't change what happened. How it happened. The only reason you resent that loved one is because they want to be there for you and usually they won't give up on you. And you're in such a terrible mood that you push them along with the entire world away because you feel that if you don't that they will end up getting hurt. You try not to feel guilty and you try to be the same way as before but then you realize that person that you wanted to be is gone." Mary voice broke a few times at the end.

"Besides Catherine who was trying to help me, Conde was the only one who I let in, probably because he was the only one who hadn't hurt me. I was angry with Francis, jealous of Lola, Greer had been banished, and I didn't blame Conde because in the end evey move he made was for me. Protecting me, comforting me, being patient with me, allowing me to make my own decisions, not only because I am a queen but also a woman. And he didn't judge me for those choices. Rather than pressure me about...things, such as England." She made a face and when she was done getting everything she had to off her chest, they sat in silence.

Bash didn't know how long they sat there, it must have been for a while because already the sun had begun to set. He couldn't believe that no one had come to check on their Queen. Not even her ladies. Until it hit him, she no longer had any ladies to serve her. Her best friend was now her husbands mistress, Kenna was a queen herself, Greer had betrayed her, and Aiylee was dead.

Mary indulged herself to another sip before standing up to stretch, swaying slightly. "I thank you Sebastian. For sitting with me and keeping me company. Its been too long since anyone has done that for me. I took it for granted years ago."

"Why aren't your guards here?" Bash felt anger boil in veins.

Mary gave him a wry smile. "Haven't you heard? I am a deffective queen. One that with-holds absolutely no nessecity to either country."

"That is ridiculous. You could've been assassinated." Bash ranted as he followed her back to her chambers.

'If the guards aren't going to do their job, then I shall do it.' He thought, still very angry. Especially with his brother, who did nothing to ridicule the servants about their job.

"I could only be so lucky, Bash."

"Mary Stuart? Giving up?" It was unbelievable.

"Somedays I feel as though my country would do much better without me. They've made that very clear. The only way I ever did my people ay good is when I married for them, and end the end it wasn't for them. It was for me. I was selfish. And now I must pay my penance for that. Maybe one day I will be assinated. Whether it is by the English, or the French, or even my own people, who were given to me by birthright. I will be glad to go. I have given this world no favors, not even a child."

"I could never let you be assinated under my own nose." Bash spoke sincerely. "And I doubt that Francis could either. I believe he still loves you, or else he would've let you go."

"Or perhaps he is doing it out of revenge. To hurt me as I have hurt him. Even if I were still in his heart, it will never be open to me again." Mary shook her head as she made it to her chamber doors. "Once again Sebastian, thank you for today. "

Bash still had a question that had been pushing its way into his thoughts. Hopefully, Mary wouldn't be offended. "Do you even think about..."

She turned to him. "What?" She asked until she caught the look in his eyes. She knew exactly what he was talking about. "About what would've happened if I had chosen you."

He nodded.

She did something a queen was not taught to do; she fidgetted before answering. "Nowadays, I think about it a lot."

"And?"

"And I know that I would've been happy with you by my side. I know you would've loved and protected me. You never would've held me accountable even if I was at fault. And even under all of the politics, you would have somehow manage to give me that rush of freedom and adrenaline. Adventure. It would've been a nice life and full of love too." Once again Mary began to feel the soft prickle of salty tears coming on. She didn't want to cry in front of Bash. When he was always so strong and could hide his feelings.

"Sometimes I wonder if I made the correct choice. In marrying Francis because maybe then the events that took place, would not have happened. And I wouldn't feel the way I have for the past 4 years." She unknowingly reached out to touch his cheek, staring into his bright eyes. "I guess I'll never know."

She dropped her hand as the tears flooded over. She tried to quickly turn into her room back Bash caught her arm and quickly laid a single kiss onto her mouth. He'd forgotten how her rose colored lips felt. It lasted a minute before he pulled away and bowed before her. "Goodnight, you highness."

"Goodnight, Sebastian." She smiled through the tears and he shuffled from her door. She watched his retreated form until he was gone and then shut her door.

She wished for sleep as a servant helped her undress.

What she didn't know was that her husband had been watching from afar.

Francis could feel that sense of jealousy rise within him again. It was like his heart had begun to work again even while it was still very broken from Mary's rejection. His time with Lola had been nothing but a distraction. At first he thought for a second that he was getting better, until he heard Mary's words.

About the life she could've shared with his brother.

He was very well away of the fact that his brother still loved his wife and that his wife still felt something for him. That was Mary for you, she'd always love every single one of the three of her conquests until the day she died. That thought haunted Francis.

He wanted to be the only one to touch Mary's heart but it looks like that fantasy would never come true. Perhaps he should have another talk with Bash about what is his to touch...and what is off limits since apparently his fathers reprimands didn't do the job.

So...Francis sounds a bit evil here.

Now I am a Frary but I will admit that Mash was bad to watch. To me Frary will always be number one though. This was just a fragment of my imagination. How was it? Review!