Words Clinic

I'm just going to point out that this is really short! I was just trying to write a quick oneshot to fill in the loooong period of not publishing anything.

Anyways, this is a (sort of?) HideKane story...more like a one-sided love. It's much more angst than that of my other stories...sorry! Some of the sentences in here are from the song that this was based off of: Words Clinic. It's a song with a cute PV about the importance of being honest with your feelings! You guys should check it out before reading this to understand what poor Kaneki is going through...
Anyways, enjoy this little short story!

I'm totally, totally, totally, ok! Resetting with a 1, 2, 3, 4. This empty self drawn to love; As I figured it just never goes well, it feels like I'm just running in place with you who is so mean...

"Y-you don't have to do this for me!" I said, pushing the cup of fresh coffee back towards him. "Why not? Aren't we friends...?" Hide asked this while pushing the coffee back to me. "Yeah...just friends..." I stared into the pool of dark brown, seeing a blush appear on my face.
Why did I have to fall for him? Hide was my friend! But...ever since we first met, a passionate feeling was born. A feeling of love. I couldn't accept it, much less confess it, but it was there. He stood up suddenly, waving goodbye to me and walking out of the cafe promptly. "I gotta get to work! See ya later 'Neki!"
I continued reading my book, but eventually I stopped because I couldn't concentrate. If we were to meet tomorrow, what would we talk about? My cheeks dyed themselves crimson as I worried. I shook my head vigorously. 'I can't be thinking about him! Gah! I'm so frustrated! This is so irritating!' I thought to myself.

Yesterday and the day before that just went on wit reset type of motion. The same conversation, the same expressions, and the same glances of Hide I stole. "Hey, Kaneki..." I heard him start, making me look up from my book. "I overheard some girls having a conversation today...and one of them told me that you liked me..." I flinched, nearly dropping my coffee. "N-no way! Why would anybody say that?! I don't like you in the least!" I averted my eyes to the side, hearing Hide chuckle lightly. "Well, alright then...If you say so." I smiled slightly, looking down at my book once more. 'Choosing to lie and saying the opposite of what I really feel...how selfish. The desire to tell you the truth is here, I promise!' I thought to myself.

Hide smiled. "We should meet up for coffee tomorrow." He said, giving me a soft expression. "R-really!?" "Sure, why not? You're my best friend, after all." My happy expression threatened to drop from my face. "Yeah...just friends..." I whispered again to myself. "Alright. Make sure to come here at 6:00pm tomorrow." He said, getting up to leave. I blinked away tears, putting on a fake smile.
"Okay!"

My worrying got the best of me again tonight as I thought about our "date" tomorrow. How would it go? Good? Bad? I guess I just didn't get it...what would happen and all...

I was already dressed and ready to go when I saw the clock. It was only 5:00, but there was no problem in being very early, was there? After all, tonight was the night I was going to do it. I was going to confess my feelings to Hide. I adjusted my sweater, smiling to myself. I made my way to Anteiku, hoping that Hide wouldn't be there.

But he was. He was there with someone else. A girl.

I looked into the cafe, seeing Hide talking with an attractive woman. He seemed happy. Extremely happy. His looks to her were more lovely than the ones he gave me. Then it happened. He leaned over the table and kissed her. They stood there for a moment, before she broke the kiss. She looked down shyly and cast a single sentence towards Hide. He smiled, and said something back to her. "Is that so?" He said. She smiled, walking around the table and hugging him. My eyes widened in shock as I realized they were leaving the cafe. As they walked out, I reached out my hand. "Hey...wait...Don't go..." I whispered quietly. Hide didn't notice my voice or my presence as he walked down the sidewalk. Hand in hand with the girl.
I turned around, fighting through the crowds to get back to my apartment. "It wasn't true...it couldn't be..." I continued to lie to myself in a trembling voice as tears threatened to fall in the midst of my self deception. I wiped the moisture away from my eyes with the backs of my hands, but it was no use.
They kept falling.

Once inside my apartment, I looked at the clock. 6:00. There was no way I was going back. I texted Hide an apology, sitting down on the edge of my bed. I opened my phone to see his reply, and then I saw it. The background of my phone was a picture of us sitting next to each other. Smiling. I held my phone close as I let out a choked cry, my tears overflowing. Why was I crying? It wasn't even like we were dating. He probably wasn't into guys. So why was I crying?
I laid down in bed, sobbing quietly into my pillow.

As I figured, it just never goes well; resetting with a 1, 2, 3, 4. And yet this light which doesn't reach continues to glitter in my thoughts...

-
I'm sorry for the feels! I'll probably put out a less depressing story to cheer you guys up~
Ah! Also, do go check out Candynappel's tumblr, the cutie who made the cover picture~!