The Council of Elrond
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or places. Nor do I own
the rights to any Nintendo gaming system.
Note: Arwen's presence at the council is purely for entertainment value.
I am aware she is not supposed to be there.
*********
"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mor."
"Elrond!" cried Frodo, waving his hand in the air.
Elrond sighed exasperatedly, "Yes, Frodo?"
"Are we gonna have a test on this? Should I be taking notes?"
"No, just be quiet and listen carefully alright?"
"But if there won't even be a test."
"SHHHHHHHHH!" Gandalf shushed Frodo. Frodo glared at Gandalf.
Elrond continued, "Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fa."
"Elrond!" Frodo was again waving his hand in the air.
"Yes?"
"Should I be doing anything?"
"Frodo! Zip it!" whispered Gandalf forcefully.
Elrond rubbed his temples then continued, "Each race is bound to this fate, this one doo."
"ELROND!" Frodo's hand is in the air again.
"Frodo, just bring forth the damned ring."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes! That's why you're here!"
"Alright," sighed Frodo begrudgingly. He shuffled up to the stone table sitting before Elrond and tossed the ring upon it carelessly.
There was a mighty gasp.
"It's so SHINEY!" Boromir exclaimed.
"You don't feel the evil?" cried Aragorn.
"I don't really know what evil feels like," answered Boromir nonchalantly.
"Well, if you've ever dated Arwen you'd know."
"SHOT DOWN!" screamed Legolas, pointing at Arwen, who looked absolutely livid.
"SHUT UP, LEGOLAS!" Arwen screeched, she then whispered to Elrond "Why did you have to invite him, Daddy?"
"Why do you always have to point out my mistakes?!" Elrond shot back.
Legolas jumped up and marched over to Elrond. "You can't tell secrets about me and treat me like this!"
Elrond raised his eyebrows at Legolas, "Oh, and why is that?"
Legolas gave him a look as though the answer to this question was obvious, "Because I'm an Elf!"
Gimli looks at Gloin and makes a sign that Legolas is crazy. They both stifle giggles. Frodo, who had been staring at their beards and stroking his chin, starts cracking up uncontrollably. Gandalf elbows him violently.
Elrond continued talking, "Now, what should we do about this piece of possessed and out of style jewelry?"
Boromir looks thoughtfully at his nails then said, "Well, I suppose we could use this ring to defend my city and all you guys against Sauron."
"But Sauron made it so only he could control the ring! That plan's complete B.S.!" said Aragorn.
"WHAT NOW?!" yelled Legolas, taunting Boromir.
Boromir's eye twitched. "I'll tell you what's gonna happen now if you don't shut your mouth!"
"Getting angry I see. You need to learn to control yourself," Legolas matter-of-factly stated.
"I'll show you control!" Boromir cried and leapt at Legolas. Boromir punched Legolas in the face. Legolas screamed and kneed Boromir in the gut.
"Wow," said Arwen as Legolas and Boromir rolled by her, "This is worse than when Glorfindel and I get into cat-fights over who really should have saved Frodo."
In the meanwhile, Frodo was busing playing a Gameboy Advance. "Will you guys quiet down! I can't beat this guy if you don't shut up!"
Boromir and Legolas bump into his chair.
"Great! You made me die!" Frodo shatters the Gameboy on the stone floor. "HEY ELROND!" shouts Frodo.
"What?!"
"What will make them stop?"
"If someone takes the ring to Mordor to destroy it."
"I'll go then."
Gandalf groans. "That means I have to go too I guess."
Aragorn comes forward, "I can't let you be a hero all by yourself! I'm gonna be king one day! I gotta work on my resume."
Gimli jumps up, "My dad says I can't sit around the house playing video games anymore, so I got to come too." Gloin gives a nod.
Frodo high-five's him. He then kicks Boromir, "HEY! You there! MAN! Wanna come to Mordor with us?"
Boromir leaps off the ground. "Sure!"
"I wanna come! Comon! I'm an Elf!" whined Legolas.
"The more the merrier!" exclaims Frodo.
At that moment, Sam, Merry and Pippin appeared. "We're all going!" Frodo clapped his hands in glee.
"Well, I guess you guys can be a group or something. Fellowship sounds good! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!" Elrond said, not very enthused.
"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mor."
"Elrond!" cried Frodo, waving his hand in the air.
Elrond sighed exasperatedly, "Yes, Frodo?"
"Are we gonna have a test on this? Should I be taking notes?"
"No, just be quiet and listen carefully alright?"
"But if there won't even be a test."
"SHHHHHHHHH!" Gandalf shushed Frodo. Frodo glared at Gandalf.
Elrond continued, "Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fa."
"Elrond!" Frodo was again waving his hand in the air.
"Yes?"
"Should I be doing anything?"
"Frodo! Zip it!" whispered Gandalf forcefully.
Elrond rubbed his temples then continued, "Each race is bound to this fate, this one doo."
"ELROND!" Frodo's hand is in the air again.
"Frodo, just bring forth the damned ring."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes! That's why you're here!"
"Alright," sighed Frodo begrudgingly. He shuffled up to the stone table sitting before Elrond and tossed the ring upon it carelessly.
There was a mighty gasp.
"It's so SHINEY!" Boromir exclaimed.
"You don't feel the evil?" cried Aragorn.
"I don't really know what evil feels like," answered Boromir nonchalantly.
"Well, if you've ever dated Arwen you'd know."
"SHOT DOWN!" screamed Legolas, pointing at Arwen, who looked absolutely livid.
"SHUT UP, LEGOLAS!" Arwen screeched, she then whispered to Elrond "Why did you have to invite him, Daddy?"
"Why do you always have to point out my mistakes?!" Elrond shot back.
Legolas jumped up and marched over to Elrond. "You can't tell secrets about me and treat me like this!"
Elrond raised his eyebrows at Legolas, "Oh, and why is that?"
Legolas gave him a look as though the answer to this question was obvious, "Because I'm an Elf!"
Gimli looks at Gloin and makes a sign that Legolas is crazy. They both stifle giggles. Frodo, who had been staring at their beards and stroking his chin, starts cracking up uncontrollably. Gandalf elbows him violently.
Elrond continued talking, "Now, what should we do about this piece of possessed and out of style jewelry?"
Boromir looks thoughtfully at his nails then said, "Well, I suppose we could use this ring to defend my city and all you guys against Sauron."
"But Sauron made it so only he could control the ring! That plan's complete B.S.!" said Aragorn.
"WHAT NOW?!" yelled Legolas, taunting Boromir.
Boromir's eye twitched. "I'll tell you what's gonna happen now if you don't shut your mouth!"
"Getting angry I see. You need to learn to control yourself," Legolas matter-of-factly stated.
"I'll show you control!" Boromir cried and leapt at Legolas. Boromir punched Legolas in the face. Legolas screamed and kneed Boromir in the gut.
"Wow," said Arwen as Legolas and Boromir rolled by her, "This is worse than when Glorfindel and I get into cat-fights over who really should have saved Frodo."
In the meanwhile, Frodo was busing playing a Gameboy Advance. "Will you guys quiet down! I can't beat this guy if you don't shut up!"
Boromir and Legolas bump into his chair.
"Great! You made me die!" Frodo shatters the Gameboy on the stone floor. "HEY ELROND!" shouts Frodo.
"What?!"
"What will make them stop?"
"If someone takes the ring to Mordor to destroy it."
"I'll go then."
Gandalf groans. "That means I have to go too I guess."
Aragorn comes forward, "I can't let you be a hero all by yourself! I'm gonna be king one day! I gotta work on my resume."
Gimli jumps up, "My dad says I can't sit around the house playing video games anymore, so I got to come too." Gloin gives a nod.
Frodo high-five's him. He then kicks Boromir, "HEY! You there! MAN! Wanna come to Mordor with us?"
Boromir leaps off the ground. "Sure!"
"I wanna come! Comon! I'm an Elf!" whined Legolas.
"The more the merrier!" exclaims Frodo.
At that moment, Sam, Merry and Pippin appeared. "We're all going!" Frodo clapped his hands in glee.
"Well, I guess you guys can be a group or something. Fellowship sounds good! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!" Elrond said, not very enthused.