It was just before the start of his eighteenth spring. The cheers of the students rung out throughout the courtyard - after twelve years of imprisonment they were finally free. But Katsuki Yuuri wasn't free - not yet. Yuuri patted down his uniform, and checked his appearance in his phone camera. His eye bags weren't too bad today, he thought. Especially considering that he just made it out of exam season.
He searched past the crowd, looking for them. Yuuri made them promise. Made them promise that after his last exam, that they'd wait on the road opposite the school. At first, they were taken aback by his insistence. "I know you have work," Yuuri said, "but this is important."
"Please," he begged.
Resigned, they simply replied, "How could I ever say no to you?"
Yuuri began to worry when he couldn't spot them. They were never the type to forget an appointment, or make empty promises. Maybe he came on too strong, he thought. Yuuri ran his hand through his hair out of nervousness. A million different scenarios ran through his head at once, thinking of all the reasons why they weren't there.
A voice rang out through the noise of the students.
"Yuuri!"
A voice, that without fail, made him smile.
He broke out into a huge childish grin.
All his worries faded away.
"Yuuko!"
His childhood crush stood on the other side of the road. Yuuri decided three years ago at the start of high school, that he would confess to Yuuko his feelings towards her on this day. Ever since he was younger, she would look out after him. At seven years old, urged into ice skating by his ballet teacher, Yuuri touched the ice for the first time. Barely managing to stand still and face planting into the ice every half metre of so, Yuuko reached out her hand to him.
That's where it all started.
Maybe it started out as a childish crush, more admiration than love, but now, Yuuri was convinced that he was in love. Even after Yuuri quit ice skating at the end of middle school to focus more on his studies, Yuuko was always supporting him, no matter what.
This was the culmination of his lifetime of feelings. Today, the day where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and swept along with the wind, he would tell her. Today was the day where he was to run across the road, look her in the eye and say "I love you.".
Yuuri took a step forward. Then another. Then another. His foot hit the road, and he broke out into a run. He wanted to get there faster. He wanted to get close to Yuuko's smile - closer to the moment where he finally lets out his feelings towards her.
So he was confused, when that smile of hers morphed into an expression of shock. She began to run forwards, her hand outreached towards him. Yuuri, instinctively reached out too.
They were so close. It was now or never.
He opened his mouth. The adrenaline rushed through his veins.
"Yuuko, I- "
"Yuuri!"
He heard her voice.
He heard a car horn.
He heard a crunch.
On the day before his eighteenth spring, the cherry blossoms were stained red.
His brown eyes darkened as he watched the last few seconds of his life. The world stilled and the image of Yuuko is kneeling over his body imprinted themselves in the back of his eyes.
He looked away. The despair and anguish he saw was too much to bear.
Why did it have to be now? Why did the driver have to hit him, at that specific moment in time? It could've been a minute - no, one second later, and maybe that feeling of regret and frustration wouldn't be churning his heart.
"Oh, you poor thing." a childish voice cooed out.
Yuuri whipped his head around to the source of the sound and everything around him disappears. He floated in an endless space. He was vaguely aware of his body, but at the same time he couldn't feel anything.
He'd learnt from high school physics that in a vacuum, the air in your lungs get sucked out - you feel like you're imploding from the inside, but your body is too cruel to kill you just yet. He closed his eyes and waited for the end to come. It was soon.
"Waited your whole life for your chance, only to die at the decisive moment."
Yuuri's eyes snapped open, but to darkness.
Sound doesn't travel in space. He'd also learnt that from physics class. In fact, Yuuri wasn't even sure when he came to the conclusion that he was in space. After all, he died. He's dead. He saw it happen twice, once when the impact of the car hit him, and once when he dissociated from his body.
"Where am I?"
"You're in between life and death."
Yuuri spun around, but he still couldn't tell where the voice from coming from.
"I died earlier."
"That you did."
The sound came from everywhere. It engulfed him.
"...then what am I doing here? If I'm dead, why am I here?"
"I've been watching you, Katsuki Yuuri. And what a truly sad fate you've met." they said, voice strangely tinged with empathy. "I want to know how your story ends. I'm not satisfied with this ending, and you aren't either, are you? I wanted you to excite me, I wanted a proper ending - this isn't what I wanted to see."
Yuuri opened his mouth to say something, but he's cut off.
"I've pulled your soul from the usual path, Yuuri. I'll make you a deal."
"The usual path? My soul? What do you mean by that - and why have you been watching me? Why would you go out of the way to help me out?"
The voice stayed silent. Yuuri couldn't tell if they were thinking or just chose not to answer.
"I'm… not that special." Yuuri breathed out, uncomfortable with the silence. It was true. He never amounted to much in his life - he instead sacrificed most things dear to him so that he could focus more on his studies. He was nothing more than the stereotypical studious high school student, slightly above average in ranking but never outstanding. He was a dime-a-dozen. He wasn't special.
"I think you're special, Yuuri." they responded, a gentle tone creeping into their voice.
"I'll make you a deal," they said again, changing the subject. "You want to talk to Yuuko, don't you?"
Yuuri's eyes widened at her name.
"I do." he shot back quickly.
"I'll let you restart your life again."
Yuuri took a while to process that statement. Start again? What did they mean by 'start again'? It just wasn't possible. He looked into the darkness, stunned.
"...well, if you don't want to, I could always return your soul back to the line."
"What does that mean?"
"You'll still get to meet Yuuko, yes," they said, and Yuuri's eyes lit up.
"But she doesn't die until another sixty years. She lives long and happily."
Yuuri relaxes at that information. He smiles to himself. He didn't want her to bear with the pain of what he had experienced earlier today.
"I'll wait for her. No matter how long it takes." Yuuri says, decisively.
The voice chuckled, almost as if they were expecting that answer. "But who knows what will happen in those sixty years? Maybe she mourns your death for a few decades? Maybe she'll find herself another partner, have children with another man. And once you see her again, once her soul reaches here, she may even have no memory of who you are."
Upon hearing those words, Yuuri froze. He couldn't bear the thought of her falling in love with someone else. Maybe she will be happy, and she lives a great life with a husband and three children.
Knowing that he was less than a second away from that man being him hurts him even more.
He knew this was selfish of him. He knew, deep down, that Yuuko would be fine without him. She could easily find any man she wanted.
But Yuuri wanted to be that man - he wanted to be close with her forever.
"...you said it was a deal, right?" he said cautiously, "What do you want in return?"
"You'll pay it through your second life, I'm sure of it. You won't have to worry about a thing." Yuuri swore he could hear a smile behind those words.
He didn't care if it was impossible anymore. This person's promises could be empty. This could all just be a cruel dream. This could all be fake. But he would take any chance he could get.
"I'll do it."
As soon as he let out those words, he saw a small sliver of silver fall before his eyes.
But before he could process the levity that information, he was pushed backwards and nothingness overtook him.
When he came to, the bright light overloaded his senses, a contrast to the nothingness of before. Disoriented, he opened his eyelids. He could see the fuzzy outlines of big faces and silhouettes. He could hear a constant beeping in the background. A gasp. Two gasps. Three gasps. Gentle hands stroked his skin. He was back in the real word.
It was the winter of 1992.
Katsuki Yuuri was born again.