A long Kiss Good-night.
A/N : I wrote this under impression of "The Thimble" by SnapeSeraphin. Yeah, I am aware that Peter/Wendy fans are probably going to throw rotten tomatoes on me but I don't care It is an AU, as a matter of fac… Dear SnapeSeraphin, you'd perhaps be disappointed at how the things turned out, but I've always been the one for drama and tragedy (and spirituals, too, of course )
So I'm still under the spell of "Peter Pan in Scarlet", and the scene between Captain Hook and Wendy that takes place near the end of the novel still makes me weep
Part One: Confessions of a broken heart"…Dreams of a future never found
Memories of the past still sweet.."
L. M. Alcott, "Little Women" part 2
Though it was breaking my heart to do it, but soon after giving you my hidden kiss I had to leave Neverland for London.
So back I went and took away my feelings with me.
You see, I had to grow up, as the story goes. And no one possibly can grow up in that realm of eternal childhood which is Neverland.
You'd have been proud of me, as I proved to be one of the kind that likes to grow up.
I really had to. For at the time we shared our kiss I was still too young for such things as "lovering", as my brothers call it. That's probably why I grew up of my free will a day quicker than the other girls…
Yes, darling. As Sir J.M. Barrie pointed out, all children grow up. Except one.
Which is my best childhood friend and your arch-nemesis.
I don't wish to deny that I did dream of him at first, willing to see him once again near our nursery window.
But my hidden kiss belonged to you, not to him. So after a while I realized that childish games were over.
I was still waiting near the window in the twilight. But not for Peter anymore.
My secret wish was to see again a man who took away my hidden kiss. Not only to look into those eyes that had entranced me once, but to stay with that man forever.
Though "forever" is an awfully long time, I was not afraid of it.
But the years went by, one season followed another, and still you didn't come.
Neither did he.
Perhaps you both were too busy battling one another to remember other things…
For Peter I had no illusions – he never went about with grown-ups – and I was already more than twenty years of age.
As for you…perhaps, you just forgot all about that thimble incident? After all, one cannot afford to have long-lasting memories in Neverland…
I cherished my hopes until I couldn't afford to do it any longer. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person cannot be a part of society and ignore what society demands of him. Or her.
First I felt angry, than cheated and depressed, and finally, disappointed.
So I got married in a white dress with a pink sash. Till the vows were made I hoped you'd appear in the church and forbid the banns.
However, you never came.
Neither did Peter, as a matter of fact…
From that moment on I realized there would be no such things as "happily ever after" for me. Now there was Another. In. Your. Place.
How could I possibly find out that at that very time you lost your final battle and was irrevocably old, alone and done for?
Just like me….
Now you are looking into my eyes and your gaze is dimmed, and I am not sure whether you recognize me at all… Either that girlish frame I adopted in order to get back here, or the grown-up woman in disguise who I really am….
Oh, but were it not for those horrid dreams of Neverland that disturbed my mind (as well as that of the Old Boys)while I was in England; those dreams leaking out of Neverland, I would have never returned. I would continue my usual lifestyle in my neat house in Cadogan Square, filling my days with taking care of my daughter Jane and my husband James (yes, love, he does have your name, if nothing else of yours !), with grocery bills and washdays, committee work and sewing, appointments at the dentist and putting the bin out on Tuesdays…
Now I am kneeling down beside you, who lay like a hank of dead mermaid's hair on the shore of a poisoned lagoon, and I feel impotent and incapable of helping you this time.
But one thing I know for sure - you will not die alone and unloved.
For someone who still loves you is now at your side….
A/N If Lord lets me live, the 2nd chapter will follow which is to be called "In the Valley of the Shadow of Death". Be warned