TW: anxiety and depressive thoughts
Nervous.
It was an unsettling feeling that rested in Evan's stomach. It wasn't a new feeling, no, it was something he was used to. It was to be expected. And here, standing before a giant building full of kids, he had never felt this apprehensive. His hands were shaking and it was a little hard to breathe, but he told himself he would be fine. He would be okay.
He walks slowly towards the school, dodging arms and legs of expressive preteens that actually had friends to talk to. That was one thing he noticed. He didn't have friends. He didn't have the courage to go up to anyone and talk to them. He wasn't expressive. He wasn't even interesting.
Then he bumps into someone and they both fall to the floor. The voice was back, telling him that he should have noticed, he shouldn't have been walking so fast, he needs to pay attention because the boy is talking to him-
"Hey, dude, you okay?" There was a soft expression on his face and Evan hated that he couldn't tell what it meant. Sympathy? Pity? Concern? Evan prided himself on recognizing even the most subtle emotion and he couldn't place it. He couldn't- Then Evan realized the boy was still holding a hand out to him. He takes it and the boy pulls him to his feet.
"Yes, um, thank you, " Evan mutters, looking back down at his feet. He turns to re-enter the crowd before the boy stops him with a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you sure? You look a little pale." His voice was soft, too, as if Evan were an animal that he didn't want to scare away. "Here." His hand moves to Evan's back as he guides the two of them through the loud hallway and into a bathroom. Most of the sound from the hallway is cut off as the door closes, and Evan is thankful for that as he tries to focus on breathing again. The hand is back on his shoulder as the boy asks for his name.
"It's, um, it's Evan. Evan Hansen." He hated the way his voice shook as he talked, but the boy didn't seem to mind.
"I'm Jared. Kleiman." He adds his last name almost as an afterthought. He still seemed a little concerned, if the way he was looking at Evan was any clue. "Are you really sure you're okay?" Evan nods. He would be fine. Eventually.
"Yeah-uh yes. I'm-I'm sure." Please go away, he thought. Evan didn't want to be rude, but having someone see him like this, this vulnerable (even if he was in a public bathroom), sent more panic through him. He just wanted to be alone. Like he always is.
Jared nods but then moves to sit beside him, as if he wanted to keep him company. He doesn't really say anything and that confuses Evan. Jared seems like a naturally loud person, someone that couldn't sit still and always had to fill the silence; the exact opposite of Evan's quiet nature.
They don't speak for a while, the only sounds being Evan's deep exhales as he tries to put himself back together. At least it was before Evan speaks up.
"Thanks, again. For-for helping me."
Jared shrugs. "It isn't a problem. I wouldn't be here if it was, " he says bluntly. Evan doesn't respond. He didn't really believe Jared anyway. People always wanted something when they hung out with him. Jared frowns as it he had just read Evan's thoughts. "I'm serious. I'm here because I want to be." Evan still doesn't believe it, but he decides to let it go anyway.
Then the bell rings and they go their separate ways.
A/N: welp. It's short and kind of sweet. I left an open ending though cause i wasn't sure about how to end it.