A/N: Had this idea from something that lanie-love09 said in a review for one of my other stories. She mentioned that she couldn't see Rick being unfaithful, that he was such a good guy, I am inclined to agree but wanted to see if I could develop a story around Rick and his notions of fidelity. I also loved what she said about guilt being a wasted emotion. It really got me thinking and I came up with this. Please leave a review if you read this, people's thoughts really are an inspiration to me. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: On the Other Hand

Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead, nor do I have the rights to Randy Travis' lyrics

On one hand I count the reasons that I could stay with you; and hold you close to me all night long.

So many lovers' games, I'd love to play with you; on that hand there's no reason why it's wrong.

But on the other hand…

Rick Grimes struggled slightly while trying to keep his balance as he stepped, one foot after the other, into his jeans. His half naked form and pale skin was illuminated by the weak light that, for the most part, filled the small unadorned room. Michonne watched him quietly from where she was sprawled out on the bed, very much naked herself, with just a sheet strategically placed to protect her modesty; a somewhat pointless exercise considering Rick had already seen, felt and tasted it all before. She thought that he always looked awkward after they had sex. He was fine before, during and immediately after, uttering her name coupled with swear words and fighting to catch his breath. It was in the moments of intimate silence that followed that he was aware of the proximity of their still, warm bodies and the palpable beating of their hearts. It was in these moments when the look of guilt washed over Rick. When, for just the briefest interval, he felt completely comfortable and right, holding Michonne so close to him that he forgot how conflicted he actually was. That's when he would remember; he would remember that he was already spoken for; that someone else bore his children and carried his last name. The guilty expression and awkward dressing would soon follow, as did the apologies and the solemn declarations that this would be the last time that they would come together and that their meeting like this could not continue.

Michonne would always silently nod and tell him that she understood why they could not be together, that she understood it had to come to an end. If her life experience had taught her anything, it was that fairy tales were not real and no matter how many times your mama and daddy called you a princess, you did not always get what you wanted. Yes. She wanted Rick Grimes. She wanted more of him than he was offering; more than his calloused hands exploring every inch of her firm body. More than the deliciousness of his taut skin under her tongue. More than her name escaping from his throat as he moaned so deeply. More than his hot breath against her neck as he pushed himself deep inside her over and over again. Michonne wanted to be able to say that he was hers and that she was his, out in the light of day; from behind closed doors.

He would try to hide his guilt-laden expression from her, but it was to no avail. She saw it, and it hurt her every time because she knew that some of that guilt was for her; he felt so utterly terrible each time he told her that they were through; he felt so bad because he was the one who had sought her out in the start in an effort to garner comfort from her. He felt guilt over starting something with her, knowing very well that he still felt attachment and duty to his wife. Mostly, he felt guilty for hurting her. The way that she pretended to be fine with him abandoning her; the sadness and disappointment in her eyes. He felt guilty for inflicting that type of pain on her; for causing her such grief.

Maybe this time he really meant it. Maybe he would not find his way back into her arms when he felt crushed by the all-encompassing weight of his responsibilities. When he felt so alone even though he was surrounded by those who adored and cherished him. She understood how lonely he really was, she too felt the same; it was part of what brought them together, the loneliness they each felt. Those were the times when he would go to her, but that was not the complete story, no; he went to Michonne because, whether he could admit it or not, whether she realized it or not, he was drawn to her. He was attracted to her. He lusted after her, he longed for her. He felt the worry and dread fall away when he held her close; like it was normal, like it was right. But on the other hand…

…There's a golden band; to remind me of someone who would not understand.

On one hand I could stay and be your loving man; but the reason I must go is on the other hand.

Rick Grimes, avoiding Michonne's gaze, uttered one last weak apology and left. After what seemed like an eternity of roaming in the shadows of the mysterious early morning, Rick came to rest on the cold floor of a darkened corridor. Shrunken and tired, he let his head fall back to the wall, drew his knees upwards and closed his eyes to stop the stinging of the tears that had formed. Why do I treat her like this? He thought of Michonne. She doesn't deserve it. He felt so torn inside. She was just so loyal and beautiful. She made him feel at ease. She let him be the man that he needed to be in this world, without judgement. Of course he would turn to her to console him. Of course she would open herself to him. He knew what she really meant to him, the words that were whispered in his most secret moments; in solitude and anguish. He loves Michonne, but he dare not even say it. This is what pains him. Their connection is real; their connection is undeniable…And yet, there is his loyalty to his wife who, for all of her downfalls and inconsistencies, was still his wife.

She rolled on to her back, staring at nothing in particular; used her hands to rub both eyes and tried to ignore the lump that was forming in her throat. As the tears began to well and her heart felt like it was being torn from inside her chest, she made a silent promise to herself; as difficult as it was going to be for Michonne, she could no longer allow Rick to come to her for solace. He would have to deal with his guilt and his loneliness on his own henceforth; for her heart could not endure any longer.

After a moment, Michonne made a move to find her clothing that Rick had, in his impatience to feel her naked form, almost ripped from her body. She dressed quietly and sat back down on her bed. Her mind swimming with thoughts of inadequacy and self-loathing. Why do I let him treat me like this? She thought, her face growing hot as she felt overcome by resentment. She knew he still contained within him somewhere affections for his wife, that he still carried a sense of obligation toward her. It mattered not what had transpired between Rick and Lori, Michonne knew she that would forever be the mother of his children; his wife. The fact that she loves him, Michonne loves him, that counts for nothing. With that, it was decided; Michonne would leave this place. She did not think she could live without Rick, but alas, she did not think she could look upon him every day and be forced to hold back; hold back a knowing smile, a gentle caress or to whisper his name. No. It was best if she just left. Hell is other people and pain is loving someone who does not love you back. Yes. She would go. At least she still had some good memories of Rick.

After she regained her composure, Michonne, through still blurred vision, scribbled some excuse or another on a scrap of paper, grabbed what belongings she could carry and slipped away silently into the night.

A/N: On the Other Hand by Randy Travis – please give it a listen if possible to see how it resonates with the story.

Thanks for reading. If I decide to update this story, the next chapter will be based on/inspired by lyrics to another song. Also, I'm having funny thoughts because I just ordered a ticket to see Lil' Jon when he comes to Australia, imagine the type of Richonne fic I could write if his lyrics inspired me. Lots of muh'phuckas and bitches I can only assume LOL Love it.