Sex diary of a Khorne woman

January 1

Dear diary, my name is Christie Cantwell, I worship Khorne, and... grrr this is fucking stupid!

(Angry scribbles and curse words cover the next few lines)

Dear fucking diary, my New Year's resolution is to keep a diary of my sex life, so I got you you stupid little book. I am so angry all the time, I can't get a boyfriend, and it pisses me off! I am sick of using my vibrator, I want a man for fucks sake! Grrrr!

(More angry scribbles and curses)

Fuck why is writing this so fucking hard!

(Even more angry scribbles)

Start again.

Dear diary, I was beating up that Slaanesh worshipping slut Cindy the other day, cause she had this really hot guy that I liked fucking her in the alley behind my place. That slut always gets all the guys that I like, fucking nympho slut! Grrr! Anyway, I was kicking her ass for always getting all the guys, and shouting at her for stealing all the men. I was beating her bloody and she was like all "I can help you get guys, please just stop hurting me".

I beat her up even more for a while because her voice just pisses me off, damn slut bimbo feminine voice that she has, I just have to punch that voice grrr! Anyway, after a lot more beatings I figure that I should give her a chance, and now she will be helping me get hot guys.

The skank got me to make a bunch of New Year's resolutions and told me to keep a sex diary to keep track of all the guys she promised I would get. She swears that a sex diary will help me learn from everything I experience to get better and better at getting guys.

I feel fucking stupid writing this...

Anyway, in return for helping me get guys, I agreed to reduce Cindy's daily beatings. I mean, I physically can't go without beating her skank ass a little bit, cause Slaanesh girls piss me off, but I will beat her up much less.

By Khorne! I want to bash that slut so badly! I don't know how I will endure to not bash her face in! If I wasn't so fucking hard up for guys I would never have agreed to this shit! Grrr! If this doesn't work I will stab that Slaaneshi bitch!

(Several paragraphs of torn paper from stabbing curses into the page with a pen, followed by huge ink spots when the pen broke from this violent treatment)

Fuck! Broke my pen! Using a new pen now. I am so fucking angry!

Fuck I am horny! I used my vibrator 5 times today! Then I got pissed off and smashed it in half with a hammer. Then I got a new vibrator from my cupboard. I have a stack of 50 vibrator box sets in my cupboard, I go through them so fast. Every few weeks I get more to replace them from the free anarchist depot that gives us everything we need for free.

Here on the planet Sanders Secondus we get everything for free, it's a daemon world so new stuff just kind of appears out of thin air from the gods, so that we can focus on worshipping chaos without wasting time doing jobs. Our planet is an anarchist collective society, no rulers and very few rules. The gods alone can command the loyalty of the people, we bow to none other, we serve no mortal masters.

Everything we need is given to us, we want for nothing, except for hot guys! Grrr! I just want to be fucked by a man! I'm so fucking horny!

(More stabbing of the page)

Ok, slightly calmer now. Today is the first day of my year of finally getting guys to fuck me. It has been hard work with a razor today.

Cindy insisted that I shave my legs, she was like "Christie you look like a beast with those hairy legs!" I punched that bitch on the spot for saying it. But then I figured that it couldn't hurt.

By Khorne there was so much hair! Thick black hair was all over my bathtub after I finished shaving! I shaved my legs, my pubes, my armpits and even my arms. I am fucking freezing without all that hair! Cindy still wants me to get laser hair removal to keep the hair from growing back, I will think about it, but not until she proves that hairlessness will get me guys.

I also brushed my hair for the first time in like forever. So many fucking knots all through it! Broke two combs before I got the done! Pissed me off so much that I smashed the mirror! Grrr!

Fuck fuck fuck! Why can't life stop pissing me off all the time! I ask for so fucking little! Is it any wonder I get angry?

I also got an electric toothbrush and a lot of floss. My gums are fucking bleeding from scouring my mouth totally clean, so much fucking plaque! Khorne keeps my teeth healthy without hygiene, my cavities just naturally self heal and my teeth even replace themselves if lost. This dental hygiene is hard work and so fucking unnecessary, but guys are apparently just so fucking shallow!

I used mouth wash and floss and so much hygiene that I wanted to scream! If a guy isn't interested after all this hard work then I will fucking punch the fucker!

I have honestly not left the bathroom for half the day, just so much fucking grooming and hygiene! And what the fuck is this femfresh crap! How fucking pansy are these men! Little sissies can't handle the natural smell of a woman's cunt huh? This is infuriating!

I feel fucking violated after cleaning out my holes and scrubbing up so much! How do Slaanesh girls find any time at all to do anything else with all this fucking grooming?

I want to punch Cindy so much for suggesting this shit! This had better be worth it or that bitch is done!

Don't even get me started on all this slop she wants me to put on my skin! And all the clothes she gave me, are you fucking serious! Surely guys already assume that I have boobs, why the fuck do they have to see the top half of them in public with this fucking cleavage!

This underwear is like fucking dental floss, I have the wedgie from hell in this g string! And these high heels are so hard to walk in! I might break my fucking neck! Grrr!

The indignity of this is enraging! Why must I do so much shame just to be fucked by a man? Fucking snowflakes who need woman dressed up on a fucking plate for them! Fuck I wish so much that I were gay! Damn heterosexuality!

(Scribbles and curses fill the next few lines)

Tonight Cindy is taking me to a nightclub to meet some guys. I am so going to bash her if I don't get a guy!

The nightclub is called "the blade" and is a rough sex hangout with an infamous reputation, a lot of serial killers hunt victims there. It sounds like the perfect place to find a real man who can fuck me like a real man. No sissy crap, rough sex with hot guys like Khorne intended!

I am excited but still pissed off, I am wet thinking about tonight, but being wet pisses me off. What the fuck is wrong with me! Why can't I even get turned on without feeling angry?

I have like 50 condoms in my purse for tonight, and I still have to put on my makeup. I want to use at least ten condoms tonight getting fucked, maybe even twenty. I hope that some huge Khorne guy just spends all night fucking me till morning!

Damn it now my g string is soaking wet! Grrr! Now I have to change! Fucking hell!

Fuck, ok, my panties are fresh and my makeup is on. I am about to leave for the club. Going now diary, will let you know how it goes in tomorrow's entry.

(Page ends with Khorne symbols and drawings of stick figures having extremely angry sex)