Once again, this is the translation from Russian, so there may be mistakes. Feel free to tell me about them.
I do not own Glee and songs.
"Kurt... I was with someone"
It was a week ago but these words still sound in Kurt's ears, burning his soul, making him choke and feel like someone killed his heart.
"I was by myself, I needed you around and you weren't there"
Lame excuse. For the whole week Kurt's mail box receives countless "sorrysorrysorrysorry", his work table is buried under roses and the phone is ringing off the hook. Hummel doesn't even try to answer the e-mails, simply ignores the calls and doesn't throw away flowers just because there is no trash can for this green house.
He looks at the last e-mail.
"Just talk to me, Kurt, please, just talk"
Kurt shakes his head and deletes the message, as usual. What can we talk about? Everything is told, there's nothing left to say. Cheating speaks for itself. Relationships are about trust and Kurt can't trust anymore.
His phone vibrates but Hummel stares at the wall until vibration is over.
"Missing calls: 72"
Ten calls per day and all of them are from the one number, so familiar that it hurts. Kurt sighs and comes out of the office, where he spent another hard day. His life reminds him of a groundhog day: got up, missed a call - came to the Academy, missed a call - came to the office, missed the call - came home, missed three calls. Hummel tries not to think about his boring existance which seems to lost sense after Blaine's cheating. He automatically puts his earphones on and presses "play".
Who knows how long
I've been awake now
The shadows on my wall don't sleep
They keep calling me
Beckoning
The whole week Kurt can't sleep because of the nightmares. He hears Blaine who confesses that he cheated and then starts laughing. "He was better than you", says Blaine with a dirty smirk, "I don't regret". Kurt screams and wakes up. He can't forgive Blaine and blames it on these nightmares.
Who knows what's right
The lines keep getting thinner
My age has never made me wise
But I keep pushing on and on and on and on
Kurt feels that he is failing. He doesn't want to give up.
There's nothing left to say now
There's nothing left to say now
I'm giving up, giving up, giving up now
I'm giving up, giving up, giving up now
Kurt sees how Rachel looks at him. She broke up with her boyfriend, too, but you can't see it. She is the same happy and careless star Rachel and Kurt is broken. He didn't expect a stab in the back.
Below my soul I feel an engine
Collapsing as it sees the pain
If I could only shut it out
I've come too far to see the end now
Even if my way is wrong
I keep pushing on and on and on and on
"I'm broken, I'm bored, and I want to be in the basement". Kurt thinks that this quote from "Master and Margarita", novel that he read a while ago, suits him ideally.
I keep falling, I keep falling down
If you could only save me
I'm drowning in the waters of my soul
More than anything on Earth Kurt wants to wake up and realize that it was just a nightmare. But he can't wake up and never will.
The whole week after his conversation with Kurt Blaine is tearing apart. He can't forget the grimace of pain on the dear face and can't believe that he hurt him so badly.
Desperately Blaine sends flowers and apologetic letters to Kurt and calls him several times a day. He refuses to admit that everything is over but deep inside he, of course, knows it. Kurt doesn't answer and Anderson feels like a wounded animal. He is ready to tear his chest up, pull out the heart and throw it at Kurt's feet, if it helps to bring him back.
Blaine blame everything on himself. How could he doubt in Kurt, be angry with him? How could he start communicating with that guy with whom he slept later? No, really, how could he trust a person, seeing a lighthouse instead of the face! His depressed and tired look makes Mr. Schuester anxious and he offers Blaine to give it all away in a song. Anderson agrees, he have nothing to lose. Nobody to lose.
I asked him to stay but he wouldn't listen
He left before I had a chance to say, oh
The words that would mend
Things that were broken
But now it's far too late, he's gone away
Blaine sees nightmares. All the time. In them Kurt leaves and turns back one time to grin and say, "Perfect. I never loved you".
Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking, "Why does this happen to me?
"Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe it
Blaine sings, ripping out the words with flesh and blood, wishing Kurt could hear him and understand how deeply sorry he is about what he's done.
It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you
Blaine's days are boring and grey now. Well, if they were boring since Kurt went to New York, the realization of the fact that Kurt will never look at him with eyes, filled with warmth and love, sucked all the colours from Blaine's world.
The taste of his breath, I'll never get over
The noises that he made kept me awake
The weight of the things remained unspoken
Built up so much it crushed us every day
"It suddenly seemed to me that the autumn darkness would push through the glass and pour into the room, and I would drown in it as in ink". Blaine remembers a quote from "Master and Margarita", a novel which he read only because of Kurt, and realizes that he is really afraid of it.
Of all the things I felt but never really shown
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go
I should not ever let you go
Blaine finishes the song and buries his face in hands, desperately wishing to wake up and run away from the nightmare he is in. But, like Kurt a thousand mikes away, he realizes that he will never wake up.
Kurt's song: Imagine Dragons - Nothing Left To Say
Blaine's song: Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You
About pronouns in Blaine's song: there are "he"s instead of "she"s everywhere but you understand why it's necessary.
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