DORM ROOM DRABBLE
The dorm room door swung open as if it were on wheels although neither one of them bothered to turn on the lights.
"Please Carmilla...talk to me."
"Right, because talking solves all problems," muttered the brunette striding in through dim moonlight. "Is this where you ask me if I've been dreaming about cigars and trains going into tunnels?"
"Come on, you're being ridiculous," said Laura as she followed Carmilla into their shared bedroom, dragging a bag from across her shoulder over her head, ignoring the fact that it momentarily tangled in her long hair.
"I'm not ridiculous, I saw the whole thing- I have the eyes of the night, remember?"
Crossing her arms, her dark haired companion slumped down on her bed and leant back against the wall glaring.
"Then perhaps you should try putting in the contact lenses of a normal human person because nothing happened!"
Silence descended for a moment.
"But he wanted something to happen."
Her roommate threw up her arms. "This...this isn't the seventeenth century! I'm not responsible for someone else's intentions, Carm. It was a mixer; we were just talking about stupid stuff and he seemed kind of sweet. Besides…" Laura flushed a little as her mind wandered back to the conversation that had somehow gotten her into this mess. "..He liked my new blog header."
"I'm pretty sure it wasn't your header he was staring at. Unless you carry a copy of it around on your chest. "
At that, Laura moaned under her breath falling onto her own bed, throwing an arm over her eyes so that she wouldn't have to feel that dark critical pair boring into her. The night had started out so well. She'd finally managed to convince Carmilla to join her at the Delta Phi cooler after days of begging and the brunette had seemed almost vaguely animated about the thing earlier in the day. Well, as animated as she got about anything.
"You know I'm not interested in him, don't you?" she offered up in a muffled tone. "Why would I be when..."
She trailed off not sure how Carmilla might respond to someone saying that they had her. As if anyone could have a sultry and kind of gorgeous three hundred year old vampire if she didn't want them to.
It was an absurd notion.
And yet it didn't stop the roiling discomfort churn any slower in the pit of her stomach that somehow...unintentionally she'd hurt the other girl's feelings in some way.
Neither did the cold lack of response from across the room.
The stupid thing was they'd only been there about twenty minutes. Lucas, one of the latest bro's pledges had almost spilled his beer on her shoes as he went for a refill and after a whole bunch of apologising they'd kind of struck up a conversation. He'd been cute- a little shy with clumps of unruly ruffled hair, obviously awkward with people he didn't know which caused the row of muscle bound guys watching him no end of amusement but he was actually kinda interesting once he got over the nerves. Geeky and quiet but smart and surprisingly intuitive about the history of the gothic novel. Out of the blue he'd just come out with the fact that the Castle of Otranto was his favourite book.
She'd never met anyone before that had even read the classic novel.
That had been moment though. The surprising turn in the conversation that had caused her to glance over at Carmilla for a second. At which point she'd noticed the brief flash of something cross that beautiful face for a second. A downturned lip and a wounded look she'd never seen before that rendered her roommate frozen for a moment before the shutters went up and that familiar unflappable mask fell back into place.
"I'm so sorry," Laura whispered still buried under her own arm as she remembered that awful expression. So quietly that the room seemed to suck the sound into the walls around them. "I didn't mean to make you feel..."
Feel what?
Words tumbled through her head as she tried to find one that seemed to fit her enigmatic roommate.
Jealous?
Undeserving of attention?
Anything less than... spectacular and mystifying and capable of the most insanely grand gestures when the situation called for it?
"...Bad."
Even Laura winced at the ineloquence of that. Smacking herself inwardly she rolled onto her side and peeked across at the other girl. But Carmilla had laid down herself and was facing the wall; all Laura could see were the tight curls in her glossy hair cascading down her neck.
Sleeker than usual now that she noticed- tamed and worked through with some precision.
For the party.
For her.
How could she not have picked up on that before?
God I suck at this, she thought miserably rolling onto her back as a small wave of nausea swam over her. How could she even have thought she could do any of this normal stuff after everything had calmed down at Silas?
Shutting her eyes again the younger girl forced herself to breathe out slowly.
One exhale at a time.
In and out...
Then...she straightened her spine.
"Carmilla?"
She wasn't expecting an answer but Laura tried to hold her nerve regardless.
"I'm sorry."
She hesitated again searching for the right words to say in the dark air.
"Not for talking to Lucas because I don't think I did anything wrong... But I'm sorry for badgering you about the party then leaving you there with a bunch of idiots who must look like drunk thoughtless kids to you... I mean you've seen centuries go by..." she gave a mirthless laugh at that, "...and I'm sorry I was so stupid that I thought a keggar would be fun for you after all the masquerade balls and stuff you must have gone too. It's more than that though... I'm sorry I didn't notice that you'd done your hair so beautifully even though you really didn't want to go and you had no reason to go other than the fact that I asked you to." Laura frowned silently for a moment. "And I'm sorry I'm so clueless about all the subtle little things you do and say that I don't notice. I always figured I was pretty observant as people go. I guess maybe I'm just a thoughtless kid too."
Stopping before anything else embarrassing came out of her mouth Laura fought against the tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she pulled the covers over her shoulder and turned on her side. Lying there listening to the low hum of the generator outside their window with its mournful buzz, a sound that usually felt so reassuring she buried her face in the yellow pillow as she willed herself to go to sleep. But sleep didn't come. At least not for what felt like hours.
Her brain just wouldn't let it. All she could do was replay the entire evening in her head on a loop. Every glance. Every harsh word between her and Carmilla. Every chunk of silence.
In fact it was just as the cycle started again, with the pair of them leaving the dorm room to head to the Delta block, walking together, fingertips almost touching that she could have sworn she felt the bed dip behind her.
Or perhaps she was losing it.
Which was entirely plausible. Wishful thinking and all that.
Shaking her head the blonde blew out a hot breath and tried to clear her mind once last time. And that was when a slender arm snaked its way across her hip and wrapped itself around her stomach with unexpected tenderness.
Laura's muscles went rigid on instinct.
"Car...Carm?" she murmured hopefully.
"Go to sleep, its late," came the quiet reply so close to her left ear.
The younger girl tried her best to contain the smile that crawled across her face but it was no use. With the warmth at her back and the possibility that she hadn't completely blown things with the vampire she wriggled in the hold Carmilla had on her, enough to turn over so that she was face to face with her.
Staring into those caramel eyes she'd somehow grown to rely on, Laura took in every inch of the other girl's face; the angular jawbone, the flawless skin. Then she blinked shyly.
"Hey."
Carmilla however remained emotionless. "Hey."
Laura couldn't control herself any more. Reaching down she slid her fingers through cooler ones and carefully brought their joined hands up to rest against her chest.
"...I meant what I said Carm, I'm so sor..."
Before she could finish the sentence, a finger pressed itself against her lips and she looked up in confusion to find Carmilla pinning her with her gaze.
"You really need to stop saying your sorry, cupcake."
Laura stared at her.
And Carmilla's features softened a little at the confusion so apparent on the other girl's face.
"You're right. You didn't do anything wrong at the party. The truth is...I haven't cared about anyone for...for a longer time than is...probably healthy. And when I saw you talking to that boy...when I saw the way you smiled at him, well, I guess I overreacted." She leant forward until their breath mingled together. "So I'm the one that's sorry. Okay?"
Okay?
Laura almost let out the relieved laugh that had jumped into her throat but for some reason she held it in and allowed herself instead to keep things simple, bringing Carmilla's knuckles up so that she could press a soft kiss to them.
"So... maybe we're both a little sorry? And both a little ridiculous?"
Carmilla glanced at the warm patch of skin next to her ring finger that still felt Laura's mouth on it then back up. "Deal."
She smiled at the blonde then, offering a glimpse of the genuine contentment she so rarely let anyone see. It was gentle and delicate and lit up her features in the darkness.
And Laura saw it clearly even through the dim light around them.
Snuggling closer the younger girl showed her appreciation by tucking her head under Carmilla's chin and draping their hands over her bedmates abdomen. Wrapping herself around her as if they'd done this a hundred times before. As if this wasn't the first time they'd let this happen.
The room quickly fell into silence again, a different kind of hush this time though. The walls were still painted with moonlight but the sounds of soft breathing as the two women simply lay there enjoying the sensation of being close to one another lent the scene an oddly virtuous quality.
At least until...
"Oh and cutie?"
Laura hmmed in answer, the sound reverberating against her chest bone.
"I've never thought of you as thoughtless or a kid." Carmilla said fondly before pausing. "But you'll always be more ridiculous than me. You know that, right?"
There was no answer from the student sleeping against her and she realised that Laura had already fallen asleep; the drama of the evening weighing heavily on her mortal frame.
And Carmilla smiled that smile again.
Though this time there were no witnesses to see it.
Somehow, she couldn't find it in herself to care though.