Amsterdam

A ficlet to answer a challenge of Gatchamania...

As I know nothing about Amsterdam other than what EVERYONE knows about Amsterdam ... here was my offering.

Pure fluff ... absolute pure AU fluff ... Out of Character? Quite possibly …

Disclaimer: I don't own Birdies of any kind – let alone superhero ones – but it's fun to play with them sometimes.

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The smell of spring air kissed at her nostrils as she wandered down a cobbled road with her younger brother beside her. Keyop was less interested in the pretty smell of flowers and after-rain air as he was in the gigantic soft-serve chocolate and strawberry ice cream slathered in syrup and peanut pieces that Princess had succumbed to buying him.

It had been a good afternoon. A great break from the rigors of training and assignment planning that would normally come after missions and debriefing. Anderson's suggestion for them to remain in Amsterdam after their two-day mission against Zoltar's army had been welcomed.

Tiny, Mark and Jason had immediately chuckled about beer and blonde-haired women and taken off, leaving her to baby-sit and play tourist with Keyop. Not that she minded much, she wasn't exactly into women and beer … Unless it was to taunt Mark … But Jill wasn't around right now, so …

She couldn't complain about how the afternoon had gone. Keyop was about as well behaved as you could expect an 11-year old G-Forcer. As long as she kept him fed on candies, cakes and ice cream, she could bypass the various petting zoos and what-not … Zoos were great and all, but not on a 40 degree day with 89 humidity.

Stench wasn't something that she called entertaining and pleasurable.

About thirty minutes previous she'd received a cryptic message on her transponder band from Mark to join them at a coffee shop downtown. There was something about bringing a space burger or pizza, or something like that, and how everything … was … grea-a-a-a-a-t.

Brow rising to be sure, but she didn't question it. Perhaps the boys had indulged a little too much in the local beverage.

The thought made her groan deep inside the back of her throat. Them on the "turps" would mean she at the helm of the Phoenix. She was far too tired to have to handle that giant bird all the way back to Centre Neptune …

…Although, making the ride deliciously bumpy for three drunk and nauseous Men, might just be worth calling on the extra energy.

She looked down to the hand she held at her hip as the familiar tug of a ring on her index finger alerted her to the presence of something floating above her head. She frowned and removed the ribbon ring from her finger as she passes the bobbing three balloons to Keyop.

"Princess, I'm still eating my ice cream," he whined though chocolate sauce covered lips. "Can't you take them?"

She shook her head. "I'll let them go, Keyop."

"No you won't."

She widened her eyes and nodded with an open mouth. "Yuh-huh, I will."

He snatched the rig from her and affixed it to his own tiny finger. "Fine … Where are we, anyway?"

She raised her head to read the sign over the café, swiping her hand through the air to clear her face of light blue smoke. "Uh. I think this is where the guys are."

Keyop raised a doubtful brow. "Something tells me you got the address wrong." He squinted his eyes to peer in to the windows. "You know how Mark feels about being anywhere where people are smoking cigarettes …"

Princess' nose crinkled as she took a delicate, testing sniff. "Um. I don't think that's cigarette smoke, Keyop."

He slid only his eyes to her to question what she meant. "Well there's no fire …"

Her eyes narrowed. "Not yet, anyway." She pointed at the curb. "Wait here, I'll go in and take a look."

"What am I, a dog?"

"Huh?"

He circled his finger around his neck. "Why don't you just put a collar on me and tie me to the tree."

She tipped her head and pursed her lips in a smile. "Don't tempt me."

He shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Just don't be long, okay. I might pick up a couple of stray pets out here."

She ignored the comment as she ducked her head to enter the establishment she was sure she'd find the remaining members of her team.

She found them.

It was Tiny she spotted first. He was leaning back heavily into a couch, with his head resting backward, blowing up a long puff of blue smoke in as straight a line as he could, much to the amusement of Mark, who was currently sitting on a chair opposite. His legs were set apart and he leaned his elbows on his knees. His face hid behind his hands as he peered through his fingers to chuckle at his larger teammate.

Jason appeared much more relaxed and at ease than his Commanding officer, although Princess could see the minute twitch of something unsure inside his lazy grin. He leaned back on an armchair beside Mark's on such an angle that he could lay his arm across the back of it. His elbow angled on the armrest so that he had reach to thumb at his nose and smirk at his chuckling Commander.

Princess' eyes narrowed in chiding as she paused on the spot to take in the scene.

"Disgusting," she growled to herself, taking in a deep breath in a sigh of disappointment. "Absolutely …"

"Princess!" Jason called as he caught sight of her standing, hands on hip, just out of group. "Come here, relax, take your feet off. …"

Mark dropped his forehead into his hands and started a long laugh at his second's expense. "Take your feet off? How can she do that?" He lifted his head and smirked at him, "Man, you're wasted."

Jason answered with a wider, lazy grin. "Yeah."

Tiny passed his free of the "Buy five, get one free" joints to Jason. "You can see why Holland doesn't get into war and shit, eh, Jase? They're all …" He leaned forward and swept his hands through the air from side-to-side "…mellow."

Jason snorted and nodded as he took the offered joint and took a short, deep, inhale. "Cool as cucumbers, man."

Mark raised his head and gave them a deep and thoughtful look. "Why are cucumbers considered cool, guys?" He leaned back in the chair. "Like, what is it about them?"

Jason held onto his breath and made a grinding sound through his nose and throat before he finally set the air free. "Apparently women like them, Man."

"What, to eat?"

Jason cast his eyes to Tiny, smirked, and then turned back to Mark. "That, and then some …"

Mark flicked his eyes off the two for a moment in thought. It was at Princess' gasp of horror that the implication dawned. His eyes flared wide for a second then narrowed as he convulsed his chest forward to drop into a loud laugh. "Damn. So that's why Prin's a vegetarian!"

His exclamation sent both Jason and Tiny into laughter, which further embarrassed the poor Swan. She reacted in the only way she thought fit in this circumstance – she swatted her Commander hard on his shoulder.

"That, is NOT true," she growled, more embarrassed than angry. "And it's disgusting!"

Mark registered the hit only by twisting his body to the side to grab hold of her arms to pull her down onto his knees. She fell onto him, chest into his chest, with her knees either side of his hips.

The position caused her breath to catch in her throat.

His brow twitched in mischief. "Now, now, Princess. I'm your Commander, and that is insubordinate, don't make me throw you over my knees and spank you."

Jason chuckled. "Or take away your fruit and veggies."

Jason's quip brought back reality and she curled a lip as she struggled against Mark's hold. "You guys are in so much trouble."

Tiny's face, creased through relaxation, opened up only enough to show a minute change in expression. "Oh come on, Prin. We're just relaxing here …"

Her eyes blinked slowly as she attempted to rid them of the sandpaper feeling. "And just which one of you is going to fly the Phoenix back to Neptune?"

Tiny lazily raised his hand. "That would be me."

She shook her head, forgetting she was sitting on Mark's knees, her breasts in his face. "Not high you aren't."

He looked at his leader, who seemed to be studying the fabric weave on the chest of his third's shirt. "Mark?"

Mark's stare of Princess' chest didn't waver. "Yeah?"

"Am I good to fly Big Blue?"

"Yeah."

He raised his hands, palms up, in a shrug. "See. I'm okay to fly."

Princess frowned and slowly looked down for confirmation and explanation from Mark. Her lids blinked heavily as she noticed his intent stare. "Commander. Eyes, up …"

"Shhh," he replied softly, drawing his finger to his lips to accent the request. "I swear I can hear them talk to me."

Jason chortled. "Eat me, Commander," he teased in a chipmunk manner. "Bite and suck….."

"Jason!" Princess snapped before he could continue. "That's not what they're saying."

"Aha," he breathed with a rise of his finger. "But they're saying something."

"Yeah," she snapped. "They're saying get lost and stop looking at me!" She shifted on Mark's knee and attempted to pull away.

He didn't let her. Instead. His hold on her tightened. "No. Don't move. I …" She took a deep breath and refocused his stare. "I've never been so fascinated by anything in my life. Jason, you gotto look at these things."

Princess slouched and groaned as she let her arms fold across her chest. "Let's not. Let's not and say we did, okay?"

A deep snore interrupted the conversation, and all three turned to the source of the sound.

Tiny's head had rolled back farther than should be humanly possible, and with a wide-open mouth, his snore announced his current physical state.

The image made Princess giggle … a little too girlie even for her.

"So ugly," Jason commented without even raising his typical brow. "A face only a mother could love."

Princess slid off Marks legs and slid across to him. She was wide-eyed as she poked his cheek a couple of times. "You know. I've never really been this close to him when he's …" She suddenly let out a yelp as the big man's arm thrust out, grabbed her, and dragged her into him like a teddy bear.

The sight of her terrified and shocked expression made both Jason and Mark clutch at their stomachs and laugh.

She frowned and half smiled at them. "Come on, guys. He's the one that's supposed to be flying us home tonight!"

Jason shrugged. "I can do it."

Princess frowned, giggled, coughed, then relaxed and let her body slide out of Tiny's hold and on to the floor. She slumped against his legs and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. "I'm not even smoking, guys, and I'm feeling it … What on Earth are you smoking?"

Mark shrugged and slid down and crawled beside her. "The store special … doesn't it make you tingle in the best ways?"

"Yeah, but," She frowned and shifted her head forward to attempt to stare into his glassy, red, eyes. "I'll take an orgasm over this any day …"

Jason smirked at her bluntness, Mark seemed shocked. "A what? I thought you were … ya know … innocent."

She winked at him. "You know full well I'm not, Mark."

Mark seemed to search his mind for a respectful response. Jason misread the look and slapped his hand to his thigh. "Cucumber! I told you, Man."

She rolled her eyes and slowly drew herself to a stand. "You are a sick man, Jason."

"You know it, babe."

"Painfully, unfortunately."

Mark reached up his hand and took hers in his. "Lighten up, Prin. We need this."

She yawned and slowly lowered herself to the floor beside him. "The Chief's going to freak."

Jason shrugged. "It's not like I don't get yelled at every other day, Prin. And 'sides, he won't know. We'll just say Tiny fell asleep and we had to stay an extra day."

Mark nodded and pulled up a knee to rest his wrist on it. "Yeah. It isn't like we're expecting another Spectran attack – we just beat them. We've got at least another month before they come back again."

As if by divine command, Keyop bolted into the café.

"Mark! Mark! There's a mecha stomping through downtown!"

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Mark couldn't suppress the slow expletive that smoothly slid from between his lips.

"Oh fuck me."

The response to such a reaction didn't come from the expected individual. Instead, there was a brief silence, and then a young voice growling out a displeased: "Language."

Princess had to giggle as she ignored Keyop's glare and words, and buried her face into Mark's shoulder. "Is that an order, Commander?"

Jason's brow slowly rose as he drew himself to a lazy stand. "Later, kids. Right now we have to wake the big man and see if he's got it in him to fly a firebird through the …" he creased his brow and slid his eyes to Keyop. "What is it this time, Kid?"

Keyop pursed his lips and pointed to the street. "Look for yourself."

Mark narrowed his eyes at the large bay windows. "There's three of them?"

Princess peeked through the underneath of his arm and gasped. "Oh my goodness."

Keyop coughed and raised his hands in complete aggravated confusion. "What is wrong with you people?" He pointed at the window and growled at Jason, who was slowly moving toward Tiny. "There's one. One. A single mecha out there. We have to go and destroy it."

Jason swallowed a belch and patted his hand in the air to tell Keyop to calm down. "Chill, kid. We're moving, okay?" He leaned down to Tiny and swatted at his face in an attempt to rouse him.

Tiny grunted an indecipherable comment, half-rolled, cocked his leg, farted, then settled back heavier into the chair.

For a brief moment, Jason looked like he might gag. He flicked his eyes to Mark and widened them in a disgusted manner as he shuddered. "Change his diet, okay?"

Princess giggled. "As long as he holds it in during fire-mode …"

Mark raised a brow, snorted, then chuckled. He was still seated, lounging with an arm over Princess' shoulder, and his wrist resting lightly on his raised knee. "You've smelled worse than that on Spectra, Jase. Just suck it up and wake him."

Keyop was positively mortified. "Why are you still sitting around? There is a mecha out there killing people and destroying buildings! Are we going to move in, or what?" He moved in front of Mark and tugged at the front of his #1 shirt to pull him to his feet. "Come. On!"

"Okay, okay." He rose almost regally to his feet and dropped his hand to lift Princess to hers. "Transmute on three?"

Jason snarled and threw the contents of a glass of water into Tiny's face. "What, we count it off now?"

The sudden splash of ice-cold liquid immediately wakened the sleeping giant. Tiny's eyes flared and lip curled as he expelled possibly the lowest and most dangerous growl ever heard on Earth. "What in the nine circles of Hell …?"

Mark, Princess and Keyop skidded backward, arms raised in self-defense against a man who had suddenly growth to double his size. Jason, however, merely chewed on his cheek and lowered his head to glare through his brows in challenge.

"Duty calls, man."

Tiny flicked a piece of ice from his nose and stalked toward Jason. He deliberately waited until the last moment to turn away from Jason so as to ensure he would collide heavily with his shoulder.

To Jason's credit, he didn't move … much.

Tiny's eyes, still red and glassy, peered down to the team's youngest. "Hey kid. You really shouldn't be in here."

Keyop opened his mouth and gave a half cough of "Duh" as he pointed to the window. "Like, none of us should be. I … we … Uh." He flicked a dismissive hand at him. "I'll go do it myself."

Mark half-rolled his eyes and slowly rounded his arm in front of his face for transmutation. He couldn't help but focus his eyes on the shifting red light on the faceplate of his communicator as it passed in front of his face. Rather than his usual concentrating frown, his eyes widened in awe as swirling colours and the heavy flapping of eagle wings filled his senses. "Transmute" left his lips slowly, coolly and adoringly.

He was disappointed when the sequence ended.

It was tempting to detransmute and do it all again.

The flash of white beside him as Princess giggled past him took his attention off his dilemma long enough to find all his team were in birdstyle and ready to go.

"Shall we?" he asked with a minute bow as he pointed to the door.

"About time," Keyop grumbled as he took the lead to take them outside.

The vision that greeted them drew fairly similar reactions from four of the G-Force team.

The mecha was big, multicoloured, and appeared to be unfinished. Long and thick tendrils of piping hung limply down from underneath a roofing structure that resembled Rastafarian headgear. The base was a distorted looking cylindrical shape that could have vaguely been described as a face – if one was so off his mind to be creative. It rolled on four silver wheels surrounded by deep, red, rubber treads.

Jason blinked in surprise, rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand, and took a second look. "Woah, what was he smoking when he came up with this one?"

Mark's eyes were as wide as the rest of the team's. He didn't look toward his second when he responded. "Something better than we were …"

"Ya think?"

He shook his head to attempt to clear his mind and turned to address his unit. "Tiny, pull the Phoenix from the sky and circle that thing. I want a full readout and specs on it as soon as possible. Jason: see if you can spot an entrance on it. All four of us need to get in there." His eyes fell to Princess, who was lightly stroking her own wing as if it were a very long lock of hair. "Sweetheart, are you fully armed?"

Her mouth stretched into a lazy smile as she nodded the affirmative. "Want me to make you proud, Commander?"

A brow flicked on his forehead. "You know it."

Keyop groaned and irritatingly clicked at his bolas waiting for a command. "Well?"

Mark was positive he was running through this procedure at break-neck speed. The words formed fast, as did his plan.

However, the fact that the slow moving mecha was now nearly two full city blocks away from them proved that he was functioning a little slower than he thought.

He grunted and flicked his hand for the team to follow him – to catch up to the mecha.

But it was so hard to run with muscles feeling like they weighed a metric tonne.

Fortunately for them, Zoltar decided to help with their boarding, and fired a human-magnet-kinda-ray-thingie at them. They were quickly sucked into the mecha and secured by a large troop of Spectran goons.

In less than ten minutes, they were hauled into the main control room for an audience with Spectra's leader.

Mark was thrust forward, his entire torso wrapped chest to hips in thick, rock climbing rope. He stumbled with an unbalanced gait and finally stood as regally as possible before the one all goons called "Sire".

"Zoltar." He all but slurred slowly in an attempt to appear as disinterested as possible.

Zoltar clicked air in through the side of his mouth and circled the Eagle leader, making a show of eyeing him up and down. "Welcome, Commander, to my weapon of destruction. The vessel with which I will destroy your team and take over the world."

Mark's head tilted ever so slowly to the side. His eyes, still largely unfocused, bloodshot and glassy, blinked quickly for moisture as they stared at the shiny lips of his captor. Unable to concentrate on anything except the tiny dangling piece of dried skin center of Zoltar's bottom lip, he said nothing.

The top of Zoltar's lip curled in disgust.

How dare this pathetic little Earth creature so indignantly ignore him. His eyes narrowed underneath the eyelets of his mask. "What? No smarmy little comment? No smartass threats of escape and destruction?"

Mark couldn't take his focus of that little piece of skin. The way it just hung there like that, clinging to the sticky gloss with invisible little hands …

He said nothing.

Zoltar growled low and stalked another circle of the Eagle Leader. "Your silence shows your fear, Commander…"

Mark's brow twitched as his head and eyes followed Zoltar's movements. He really, honestly, wasn't hearing a word the man said. He was far more interested in that little imperfection on the otherwise perfect Spectran leader's face, and the wine stain on the toe of his red boot – a stain whose sizing directly correlated with how wide Mark had his eyes …

If he opened and squinted, and opened and squinted, the stain would pulse …

A quirk of a smile ticked at the corners of his mouth as he practiced his Morse code skills with the pulsing of the stain.

A quick message that would never be passed on to Princess – its intended recipient – and Mark had a chuckle.

If she only knew what was going on in his mind …

His lips pursed together to initially hold back the smile, but broke free in to a grin when he imagined what look would cross her face if she ever knew.

Then he laughed.

He couldn't help it.

It began as a suppressed chuckle and thumped inside his chest, and quickly grew to a belly-clutching, bellow of a laugh that practically brought him to his knees.

Zoltar. Was. Mortified.

Two-thirds of his way through a rehearsed speech of world domination and "nya nya nya, I beat you, G-Force", he was pissed to hear the G-Force Commander begin to laugh.

He spun on his heel to glare at him, irked to find that not only was the Commander laughing, but he was borderline crying in amused hysteria.

His eyes flicked to the remaining three birds. The Condor was smirking and chewing on a cheek so as not to succumb to what appeared to be a contagious laugh. The Swan had her tongue tightly holding on to her top lip showing her bottom teeth that were smiling enough for her whole mouth.

At least the Swallow seemed somewhat shocked by the display. His eyes were wide and, perhaps, a little embarrassed by his leader's actions.

The rampant display of mockery and insolence immediately raised every shackle on the Spectran leader. He curled a lip and rushed Mark, knocking him backward into the chest of a pair of goons.

The action caused a string of events that noone could have predicted.

The goon to Mark's right, a timid newbie who had his trigger-finger at the ready, yelped and squeezed off enough shots to have cursive-written his name in the console behind Zoltar. The bullets managed to tear a vertical stripe in the console and into the next room, which housed the main power source for the mecha.

The second goon, to Mark's left, fell backward onto Jason. In an attempt to pull a knife from a hip holster to slaughter the G-Force second, he sliced through Princess' ropes and belt.

The belt fell to the floor, spilling out a dozen flash charges and three lipstick bombs.

Unstable at the best of times, the flashes ignited with a loud and bright "POP POP POP", further tempting the lipstick bombs that had been programmed to react to the flash charges upon release. There was a nano-second of silence as the lipsticks flashed a brilliant red … and then "BOOM." As one-by-one the three bombs went off.

There was a yelp from the Spectran leader as the final charge detonated. He stumbled onto his ass and shuffled toward the door, and the escape capsule.

"Next time, G-Force!" he snarled as he punched at a self-destruct button on the wall and escaped.

The mecha listed to one side, then toppled, rolling onto its roof and spreading tubed dreadlocks along a grassy field on the city's outskirts.

Princess, now free of her ties, smiled as she dropped to her knees to untie Jason and Keyop.

"Woah. What happened there?" she asked as Mark appeared out of dust and smoke to rejoin the team.

He helped Keyop to his feet and rubbed at the top of his helmet. "Absolute sheer luck," he remarked.

Keyop brooped and ducked his head out of Mark's reach. "Buy a lotto ticket."

"And kiss the good luck fairy's ass," Jason piped in, confused about the whole event himself.

Jubilation and confusion were quickly replaced by panic as Zoltar's voice, recorded and mechanized, warned through the speakers: "30 seconds until self-destruction."

"Oh shit …" Mark said low as he raised his communicator to his lips. "Tiny, you still awake?"

"Yeah, Mark. Ice in the codpiece will do that to a man."

Mark's brow flicked, as did his questioning gaze to Jason. "Do I even want … never mind. Can you pick us up?"

"Just peek through the gash in the side, Mark. I'm waiting right here for you."

Mark smiled and nodded to Keyop and Princess. "You heard him."

Jason smirked and took up a flanking position beside his Commander. He watched Princess and Keyop squeeze through the wall and leap toward the Phoenix.

"Don't you wish it was always this easy?"

Mark tilted his head sideways and cast his eyes to his second in agreement. "I'll put in a request for home base reassignment when we get back."

Jason gave a short laugh. "I'm sure the Chief'll agree." He followed Mark to the opening in the wall and leaned a palm on the metal. "We'll never do this again, will we?"

"What?" he asked with a pause. "Go into battle?"

"No." he held up the last remaining joint from the café. "This."

Mark gave a wink. "We'll at least finish that one, man."

Jason dropped his brow and smirked as he tucked the little cylindrical package into his belt. "Let's just save it for next time we're in the clutches of evil. It seems to do better for us than fighting our way out."

"It'll be your new weapon, then Jase. I'll put in the requisition for new weaponry when we get back."

Jason gave a laugh, and leapt out of the mecha beside Mark.

As the bubble closed over their heads, Jason turned to Mark.

"So the thing that was so funny, that started our escape. What was it?"

"You'll never know, Man.."