Signing the last mission report in the pile labeled 'Hot', Gaara eyed the sun dial on the other side of his office. He had at least fifteen minutes before the council meeting at three. If he was to make haste he would be able to complete the task at hand. The very one that had been plaguing his thoughts all morning. This strange act was beyond any rational behavior, and he was completely aware that it was highly out of his character to do so. It appeared however that his fingers were unaware of this because they had been twitching for this all morning and into the better part of the afternoon. With the way that his mind had been over whelmed with this odd need, there was little chance that he would be of any use during the board meeting with the council members if he didn't make time to do so.
Which was why he was hurrying down the halls of the kage corridors. Fingers itched to pull the door open. Only seconds away from his personal corridors and yet time seemed to slam to a halt. His legs just couldn't move fast enough for his liking.
At last he reached the room in which his objective would be; the living room of the Kage's personal chambers.
Firmly but ever so gently, Gaara held his goal in his grasp. Pressing his ear to the soft fabric of his wife's sundress, Gaara silently awaited for the sound he longed for. The heart beat of his child; his first child.
Giggling, Gaara's wife watched with a content smile of her pale lips. She figured this might happened. She was so exhausted that she slept through Gaara getting ready for work, which meant he was deprived of his usual morning tacts. And for the past weeks, gently caressing her swollen tommy while listing to their child's heart beat, had been top of his list of things to do in the morning before work.
Slender fingers ran through the tangle strands of brilliantly red locks of Gaara's silky hair.
This was bliss. If anyone had told Gaara that you would ache for this, this simple contentment that he felt now, he would have them committed for fear they had gone insane. This was Gaara, the highly feared kage of the sand, and he was utterly wrapped up in the simple pleasure of his growing family. The lovely joys of his wife and now the child, his child, growing within her.
He could stay here all day, listening to the soft heart beat of their child, the enchanting melody of his lovely wife humming, her slender fingers forming figure eights on the back of his neck.
His wife was perfect, inside and out.
A soft knock at the front door of their home, the one that Gaara had left ajar, alerted them that they had a visitor.
Sighing to himself, Gaara continued to enjoy the warmth that his dear wife willingly offer.
From the front door, the nin hesitantly announced the reason that had brought him there. "Kazekage-sama, your meeting starts in less then five minutes. It's on the other side of the building."
Gaara may have became some what of a tamer man after his marriage to his wife, but this was still Gaara. One wrong move could be-... Shaking his head the nin refuse to dwell on what could be.
"Thank you." Without even moving to address the intrude, Gaara's tone held an authority that stated very clearly not to defy his order. Unspoken or not, no nin would openly defy his order, which was to leave. And now!
Seeing the look upon the nin's face, pale lips parted into a warm smile. "He'll be there. Don't worry sir, I'll make sure he'll be there."
Both Gaara and the nin eyed the highly pregnant lady before them.
At the look upon her husbands face, she couldn't help but giggle. The look upon Gaara's usual sober one was of one of a child who was dined the right to play with his toys before bed. Pouty lip and all. "On time, as well."
"Thank you milady." Bowing to both, the nin took his leave while he still could.
Watching the oh so feared Gaara of the sand glare up at her for ending his play time she couldn't help but giggle once more. And poke fun at him as well. "Don't give me that look! It's so ugly, you better hope that it doesn't freeze that way."
The glare faded into one of a mock pout. She couldn't help but giggle yet again. It appeared that she just might have two children on her hands. Their baby and Gaara himself.
Her giggles could always soften his most inner turmoil. Demon removed or not, having her around always seemed to calm him.
"I know, Love, but you must be going." Resuming her gentle message around his temple, scalp and neck, Gaara's wife softly spoke. She regretted sending him away as well, but he was the Kazekage and he had many responsibilities. And this was one of them.
Bending down, or as much as her swollen tummy would let her, she whispered her latest plan of mischief into her husband's ear. "I'll tell you what, if you were to form a sand-"
The scene shifted, the warm earth colors of his private chambers that he and his wife shared, shifted to an all too white and clean room of the medical wing. Eyeing the ceiling, Gaara knew where he was currently at. Rolling over on his side on the tiny cot, Gaara eyed the head medical nin with such animosity.
"You better have a sound reason for interrupting my slumber." The deadpan voice of the Kazekage held little into what he was feeling. However the poor medical nin that awoke him could easily read the true emotions that ran amuck through his sea foam green eyes. He was livid.
Shifting in his spot, the medical nin took a few steady breathes while he mustard up enough nerves to speak to this highly agitated man. "Sir, we've been over this before. Too long under the influence of our Controlled Slumber Chambers could have severe side affects. Addiction, is one of them."
Sitting fully up on his cot, Gaara slowly took off all of the wires that were attached to to his bare chest.
Cocking his head to a slight angle, Gaara spoke in a dangerously calm voice. "Was it not you that first suggested this? Stating that even I need sleep. And now you're retracting that statement and insisting that it's harmful. Is it that your first calculations were incorrect? Even without the demon, I am unfit for sleep."
The medical nin paled. This man had a way with being intimidating on a normal day, and now Gaara looked beyond murderous. If the young medical nin wasn't careful, he might be out of a job. However a small sliver of him wasn't cowering in fear but irritated as well. And that little part was fueling him, driving him to speak out. How dare he question him. His calculations were always correct, the only reason the other man was taking it out on him was because he was correct. Gaara was becoming addicted.
"No, Sir. All need sleep, it's unhealthy to deprive yourself of that. It's just that..." And with that his new found glory dissolved. The young medical man was trying his hardest not to openly cower under the Kazekage's heavy stare. "Um, that-"
"You're contradicting yourself. Which one is it? Safe or not?" Standing, Gaara calmly got dressed as he snapped his reply with such authority.
"Sleep is safe, but your means are not. This was meant as a stepping stone to get you into the habit of sleeping again. But you're... You're becoming addictive to this false state. Whatever you are dreaming while you are under is becoming a crutch. And that is what I meant as unhealthy. Not the sleep, but the means of achieving it."
As the last word left the young man's mouth the door was already closing behind Gaara.
Unfocused green eyes watched as the drink the bartender was sending his way gently collided into his waiting hands. Apart of him was aware of the looks that he was receiving but Gaara just couldn't muster up enough care to address it. Instead thin shoulders just shrugged it off. What's new?
Gaara may be the Kazekage, a highly respected one at that, but he was still Gaara of the sand. The villagers respect him, just from afar was all. And right now, it appeared they should admire him from really far away. He looked almost like he did when he was a child and the demon trapped within him wreaked havoc upon his psyche. Not even the bartender would venture too close, instead he would slide a new drink down his way when ever Gaara needed one. The usuals were the only ones willing to stay, and even they reside in the far corner of the small tavern, out of reach incase the young man had a relapse in his new found demeanor.
For such a loved Kazekage, Gaara was treated like he housed a plague. And in some ways he did; fear. This horrid emotion could make any rational person behave strangely. Feed it to the entire village by the handfuls and you will have, well the The Village Hidden in the Sand. No matter what progress the once Demon vessel had made, he was still Gaara.
Don't get me wrong, they loved and respected their Kazekage. He had willingly offered his life for them and never asked for anything in return. Not only that, he had signal handed dug them out of the economic whole his father had burred them in. All in all, he was the best thing that had ever happened to them in a long time. But fear tainted their rational part of their minds. He had earned that reaction, at one point in his life that reaction was what fueled his daily life. But now it was only a reminder of the work he still needed to accomplish in order to right his wrong.
And the sight of his brooding form at the bar, downing drink after drink, was a really bad sign. It only enhanced their fears even more.
Eyeing the bartender, Gaara's should hunched in defeat. This reaction was like a slap in the face. Two step backwards. The progress he had been making really meant nothing at the moment. Just as Gaara was about to add another thing to the list of reasons to pity himself the door flew open. A loud thud sounded through out the tiny pub as the door collided with the wall. Not even bothering to check the damages, Kankuro calmly made his way toward his younger brother.
Slapping the younger man on the back, Kankuro took the stool next to Gaara's. "So little brother, I heard that you were put on probation from the CSC lab. That sucks!" Shifting his weight to view the bartender, Kankuro continued on with his statement without delay. "Hey barkeep, can I get what ever he's having?"
Silence past between them before Kankuro spoke up. "You're not going to talk about it." It wasn't a question just a bland statement.
"There is nothing to talk about."
Kankuro fingers idly danced around the rim of his drink that he had just received, before he shrugged in a casual manner. "Sure there is. Like maybe, I don't know, whatever dream that has you convinced that you need to return every night for the past six months."
There wasn't much sign the Gaara heard him, judging by the intense glare directed at a spot on the counter Kankuro knew better.
After a few minutes of silents, Kankuro proceed with the quickly growing one sided conversation. "See a couple months ago I had a really nasty mission, and as much as it pains me to admit this to anyone let alone my lil bro, I couldn't get the images out of my mind long enough to sleep. For eight days I couldn't sleep, and while I'm nothing like you in that department, I need sleep, I just couldn't. And that's when I went to visit the CSC ward. So you see, I know all about their dreams." Kankuro sipped his drink for a few minutes in silence, letting his words sink into to his highly intoxicated brother's mind.
He had known about this little world for a while now. Just the basics, not really too much in the detail department. Considering Gaara's current state, Kankuro could only guess. But he had a pretty good idea. Which made this all the more painful to do. If his little brother was dreaming what he thought he might, then a part of him regretted this. Out of all of the people he knew, Gaara was the one that deserved this the most. Just why did it have to be in some dream world.
"How they seem to be more real then the reality that we live," Taking another sip of his drink, Kankuro continued as it was Gaara wasn't going too. "And my guess would be that your false reality is the life you've always craved for."
Reaching over the still form of his younger brother, Kankuro greedily snatched the bowl of mixed nuts and began devouring them. Pausing in mid chew to finish his latest statement. "A life with friends and family that love you for who you are. Maybe even a lady friend."
Eyeing the multiple empty glasses that lined the counter in front of his brother, Kankuro silently shook his head. "Well lil bro, look around, these people," Nodding his head toward the bartender and the usuals. "May not be your true friends, but you have Baki, Temari and me. We are your family and we would do anything for you. Not because you are our leader but because you are our family, little brother."
Taking one last gulp of his beverage, Kankuro payed for his drink and stood. "And hey, you even have the blond dobe and his friends, they've seen you at your worst and yet they were there for you when you needed it the most. No questions asked. If you ask me, it seems you just might have everything that you've been dreaming about."
Leaning over, inches away from Gaara's ear, Kankuro spoke just above a whisper. "And for the lady friend part, quit feeling sorry for yourself and get out there. Find somebody. Just look. And trust me, it wont be hard. I know of a few off of the top of my head that already like you." Taking his leave Kankuro casually made his way toward the broken front door.
Half way out, the puppeteer shouted his last farewell. "Later, lil bro."
Gaara was a man of control, being this inebriated wasn't like him. But all he could think of was what he had just lost. The oddly wise words of his older brother, didn't go on deaf ears, just Gaara was in no mood to fully comprehend the full weight of his words at this moment. Maybe tomorrow, if he was in the right mood, Gaara might then attempt to process Kankuro's words.
Right now however, Gaara was content on eyeing the counter of the bar in front of him while the images of the false, but so real, world that he had grown to need, rushed by him.
The long dark locks that would always tickle his arms when he held his wife in his arms. Or how her nose would wrinkle just a tad when she was in deep thought. Or the sound of her many different laughters. She had at least seven different ones. Her little giggles, her deep throat chuckle, or even the one that sounded as if she was hyperventilating, to the point her side would always hurt. That one could always get him to join in with her little fit of laughter, even if he had no idea why she was laughing. Her bubbly mood was alway contagious. He may not show it like she had, but when he was around her he felt happy, light even. She made him feel like a better person, which in return made him strive to be even better. Better in Gaara's little ways, that is.
The day that she had told him that he was going to be a dad...
At the thought of the their child the pain doubled even more. Even though that life wasn't real, it still felt as if he had just lost his beloved wife and their unborn child in some freak accident. It felt so real. It hurt. This pain, his pain, was real, very much so. Gaara morned the lost of his family.
Nobody understood his pain because it was his to bare alone; his world. A false one or not, it was his. And now, it was gone.
Numbly, Gaara paid for his drinks, thanked the bartender and retreated into his private chambers in the Kage tower. He needed to sober some bit before he had to welcome the Leaf nins. The loud voice of the hyper blond nin was something Gaara needed to be fully sober for. Naruto was somebody Gaara was actually looking forward to seeing, especially after this CSC lab thing. His loud blond friend would be the one person that would understand him.