So Close

Shizuo sighed heavily, as he walked through the doors of Chaknipen, nervous and a little more than ticked off, though the latter was normal. He had gotten fired from yet another job due to his frequent rampages. He trudged along the polished, expansive floors of the lobby toward the receptionist.

Hell, everything here practically screamed expensive, classy, and way out of his league. This made Shizuo more nervous, and he yanked at the collar of his crisply ironed white dress shirt. He was dressed to impress, with his vest suit freshly dry cleaned, black bow tie, and black shoes he shined last night.

He reached the receptionist, whose name tag read Erika Karisawa. Shizuo mentioned an appointment he had with the company's CEO, Shingen Kishitani, and she gave him directions to get to Shingen's office. He mumbled, "Thanks, Karisawa-san."

"Call me Erika! After all, we'll be co-workers!", replied Erika cheerily.

"Kishitani-san hasn't even interviewed me yet, how do you know he'll hire me?", questioned Shizuo, confused at this girl's assertion.

"Oh! Ha ha, you'll see, Shingen is um, let's just say, different", Erika giggled.

Slightly unnerved, Shizuo went up the elevator to reach his new boss's office, on the last floor, the thirteenth. 'Just what kind of boss is Kishitani-san?', thought Shizuo. As he stepped into the elevator, he thought back to what led him here.

After his little stunt with his last boss, he was in a tight spot, well, tighter than usual. He was behind on rent, and if he didn't find a new job soon, the landlord was more than happy to kick him out. He was desperate, and that's where Shinra came in. He was a childhood friend, and one of his only friends. Though Shinra himself was a doctor, he was also the son of the CEO of the most successful marketing company in Japan.

Shinra made a recommendation to his father, Shingen Kishitani, and now here he was. Though Shinra was an eccentric freak who still wanted to dissect Shizuo, Shizuo had to admit, he owed Shinra one. He reached the thirteenth floor and was greeted with a giant floor filled with white cubicles. Erika told him to turn left, and sure enough, there was a door with a sign reading Shingen Kishitani, CEO.

Shizuo rapped twice. He heard a muffled "Come in", took a deep breath, and went in.

In the middle of the office, an office chair was turned around, it's back facing Shizuo as he introduced himself.

"Erm, I'm Shizuo, nice to meet you, sir.", Shizuo said awkwardly. Now, he thought Shinra was weird, but now he could see the apple didn't fall far from the tree. The desk chair immediately spun around, revealing Shingen Kishitani, wearing a freakin' gas mask, along with a white lab coat. Shingen shot out of his chair, clasping Shizuo's hands.

"Welcome! Shinra told me so much about you! Please, sit down!"

"Uh, thank you Kishitani-san-"

"Nonsense! Call me Shingen!"

"Um, okay, here's my resume-"

"Oh I won't be needing that," said Shingen as he took Shizuo's hard prepared resume and put it through a shredder next to his desk.

'That bastard! I'll KILL him!,' Shizuo could feel his temper flaring, and he struggled to keep his cool. He did not want to beat up his (hopefully) new boss.

So, he did not bash in Shingen's gas mask when he said, "You look more like a bartender than any businessman, is that a fetish? Don't worry, I won't judge!"

Shizuo had started counting to ten when, all of a sudden, Shingen asked, "So, what makes you think you can waltz in here, and get a job right off the bat? Not because you're one of my son's only friends, I hope not."

Sensing the shift in tone, Shizuo replied seriously, "No sir, I'm not a genius, but I'll work harder than anyone else."

Shingen seemed to consider this, "My my, you sure know how to talk. From what my son told me, you weren't fired due to incompetence, it was your anger tantrums." He sat back into his chair, dramatically stroking his chin.

Then right out of the blue, "Hm, tell me, Shizuo, are you interested in men?"

Shocked and appalled at this insinuation, Shizuo yelled, "Of course not! And even if I were, I would NEVER date you!"

Shingen burst into laughter, "Ok ok! I wouldn't want to date you either, and besides, I have a wife! You're funny, you know that Shizuo?"

'And you're crazy,' thought Shizuo furiously.

Shingen jumped out of his chair yet again, enthusiastically shaking Shizuo's hand, "Congratulations! This is your lucky day, you're hired!"

Shocked, Shizuo was about to ask-

"Because my gracious self has taken a chance on you!" exclaimed Shingen, as he took out a gun, wait a GUN!?

Pointing it straight at Shizuo, Shingen shot him point blank.

BANG!

went the confetti, flying into Shizuo's slacked-jaw mouth and blinding him.

…

"ARGHHHHH-AHHHHHHH!"

That day, people would swear they saw a shooting star explode out of a massive skyscraper, like a rocket into the sky.

As for Shizuo, he went on his job hunting quest yet again.