Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. I don't make any money from writing this. Please don't sue!
Warning: Yaoi themes. Language. Unbeta-edness. OOC moments. Dub-con.
Umbra
"What is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever told you?"
Sanosuke stared at the smirking Kaoru thinking of a response to the question. She leaned in a little closer from where she sat and almost knocked off some empty bottles of sake on the table in the process. She looked a bit tipsy.
"Answer the question already," Yahiko pushed from beside his instructor. "We all agreed to answer truthfully so don't you try evading yours."
Sano looked around the wooden tatami table again, seeing their eager was to the little brat's right followed by doctor Gensai and his little grandaughters. And finally, playing with them was the legendary manslayer himself, folding a paper craine with a bright smile plastered on his face. It was hard to tell if Kenshin was paying attention to the game anymore.
And for good reason. This 'game of truths' (as Kaoru had cleverly dubbed it) had been going on for quite some time now. It initially started as the usual chatting over dinner of their dysfunctional family until Kaoru brought out the beef they were to share that night. Yahiko all but demanded to be stuffed by it by eating so fast, he almost choked. Sano, being the observant fighter that they tended to forget he was, saw that all the beef will be gone if he did't act quickly. Needless to say, Kenshin tried to stop them but it was ultimately Kaoru's fist that restored order.
"You two are pathetic!" she said. "From now on, you can only get a piece of beef after giving me something in return. That should teach freeloaders to work for their meals and be considerate of others!"
Kenshin flashed a pained smile, obviously struck by the term 'freeloader.' "Well that seems fair, that it is."
Kaoru panicked upon realising her mistake and waved off Kenshin's statement. "I didn't mean... It wasn't like..."
"They obviously don't have money," Megumi cut in helpfully. "What will you ask from them?"
Kaoru thought for a moment and her gaze fell on Kenshin again. She grinned wide and declared, "Truths!"
The bewildered expressions on everyone's faces as well as the loud protests from her apprentice told her that elaboration is in order. "It's quite easy. I'll ask them a question which they have to answer truthfully in exchange for every piece of beef. They have to swear on their pride as warriors too, that they will say nothing but the truth."
"That is unfair!" Sano said. "You can't go pry into personal matters just because you have meat."
"It's meat I bought so it is fair," Kaoru countered.
In the end, they settled for questions answerable by 'yes' or 'no.' Kaoru, and later on Megumi, had a lot of fun torturing her freeloaders. Soon there wasn't enough meat to buy all those fantastic truths and Megumi was having so much fun that she suggested that their game continue and evolve to 'spin the bottle' that was for everyone.
Sano had no problems with that. He had actually found the game amusing since he got to find out lots of crazy things about these people while drinking sake and eating good food for free. It was also immensely fun since his luck was off the roof that night and the empty sake bottle never once stopped to point to him.
Until now.
Old Dr. Gensai had fallen asleep but Kaoru, Megumi, Yahiko, Kenshin, and the girls were all wide awake. With the exception of the two little girls and Kenshin, everyone was staring at him with predatory eyes, too happy to conceal the fact that they were rejoicing that his luck had finally ran out.
"Go on," Megumi told him. "You're taking too long."
"That's probably because he gets too much aweful things thrown his way that he finds it hard to pick a particularly nasty one because he is so used to it," Yahiko said and the women laughed.
"Shut up!" Sano said. He was feeling a little weird now, a bit light. He was really enjoying himself earlier but now that the tables were turned, he really felt annoyed. More than the usual.
He grabbed the nearest bottle of alcohol and downed the contents quickly. That brought him to all new heights.
"Don't you feel too important! Get on with it already!" Kaoru slurred.
"Maybe we should leave him be, Ms. Kaoru. It really looks like Sano is having a hard time," Kenshin said with a nervous smile.
Oh, no. Hell no. Not again you mighty prick!
"It was something that that darn Mibu Wolf, Saito, has said," Sano found himself saying. That got his friends' attention and they turned to him. "It was when he attacked the doujo and defeated me before we got mixed up in the Juppongatana mess in Kyoto. He said something about me being weak and all that crap about..."
He cleared his throat and stole a sweeping glance at the former assassin. "Well, just being weak in general."
"Pffffftt..." Yahiko butted in. "You're cheating. All the bad guys always say we are weak in the beginning. It shouldn't bother you at all. Yours is probably a rejection from a girl you like and you're just too embarrassed to admit it!"
Megumi laughed. "Even little Yahiko has found you out. What a shame!"
"Hey! Don't call me little!"
Laughter was ringing in the air again but old Gensai slept on. The rest of the night (and sake) was spent devicing the most ego-shattering rejection Sano could ever hear while Sano himself told them to shut up. Kenshin laughed along but never really contributed much to the discussion. The women fueled their minds with sake while Yahiko watched longingly. He tried to get a bottle and was striked by Kaoru on the head. Kenshin laughed, ignoring the advances Megumi was making.
His hair is really red. Sano watched as he casually dodged a well aimed hug by the woman doctor by picking up a fallen chopstick on the floor. Megumi looked embarrassed but when Kenshin straightened up, he showed no sign of being aware her attempt at all. He handed her the chopstick and she thanked him with relief.
Kenshin was always like that, Sano thought. He looked like he knew nothing most of the time but Sano knew better than to believe the swordsman's little acts. Kenshin was sly and cunning, like how a warrior of his calliber was expected to be. He was polite too and thoughtful of others. These never fail to win the ladies over but to Sano, he found those qualities really annoying at times.
"You're drinking more than usua, that you are," came Kenshin's annoying polite speech as he came over Sano. "Something the matter?"
"Nothing," he replied before taking another bottle and drinking straight from it.
His head throbbed a little when he sat up but it was nothing compared to the ones he had before when he used to drink heavily after his work as a streetfighter for hire. Sano looked around the room to find everyone passed out in rather careless positions on the floor. Megumi had her head on the table with a sake bottle still trapped in one of her hands. Yahiko was sleeping with his back on the floor while Kaoru lay passed out beside him with a foot resting on her apprentice's face. Both of them were drooling. Dr. Gensai was still sleeping and his granddaughters had snuggled right beside him.
Sano's eyes slightly widened in surprise to find Kenshin sitting with back against the wall, head hanging lowly in what he could only guess as sleep. He moved closer, tiptoeing in between sleeping bodies until he was on Kenshin's side and he smirked. A few empty bottles of sake were sitting near the swordsman.
Sano quietly sat directly in front of Kenshin's sleeping form. This close, he could hear his soft even breaths. He could also see the slight rising and falling of his bare chest through the narrow opening of his red yukata.
'You are a liability he can't afford to have. That is why the Battousai has chosen to leave you and go to Kyoto on his own.'
Sano could hear Saito's voice as if he were in the room, just like that day when Kenshin left. Yahiko was right, he was used to people belittling his skills since he met Kenshin and the people from the samurai's past who all surpass Sano's abilities as a fighter. But what was truly painful about it was that it was a thought in Kenshin's head, unspoken yet it told Sano just how the swordsman saw him.
He stared down at the sleeping Kenshin and his fingers clenched into a fist. He found himself breathing deeply, his hand shaking as reached out to the other. His fingers touched the red strands of Kenshin's hair and his stomach jumped. His excitement was cut short however when suddenly, the swordsman's head moved, rising up to rest its back against the wall and sliding sidewards so that his head hung to the right.
Sano sighed in relief and then he was staring at the swordsman again. How can this slender body fight so well? How can those thin wrists muster devastating force while wielding a sword strong enough to break through bigger warriors' defences and send them all to defeat? He himself had been at the receiving end of those deadly hands and Kenshin had struck through his strength and techniques like he was a kid.
And I really am one. Kenshin is on a higher level that I can never reach no matter how hard I try. He will never see me as his equal.
Yet the more Sano thought of it, the more it became clear to him. He wanted it. He wanted Kenshin to see him as his equal, someone who could match him, defeat him, even overpower him if the situation arose. Someone he need not protect.
"I am not a liability," Sano hissed and grabbed Kenshin by the back of his neck.
"Oro?" Kenshin said blinking and his eyes widened in surprise at finding the streetfighter's face only inches from him. "Sano? What are you-"
Kenshin was unable to finish his sentence as his friend crashed his mouth against his. His hands automatically found Sano's chest and he pushed him away but he didn't budge. Instead, Sano quickly grabbed his right hand by the wrist (his sword hand) and pinned it on his side against the wall.
"Mmmpph!" Kenshin tried to say but his mouth was muffled by the kiss. A hundred thoughts ran in his mind at that moment. Sano was apparently kissing him. He knew something was up with his friend since that little game of theirs started but there was no way in hell he could have predicted that he would ever do this. He was angry. He felt betrayed and confused, but more than anything, Kenshin was purely and utterly shocked.
The taste of alcohol assaulted his mouth as a tongue pushed its way in. He tried to push Sano again but his left hand couldn't do what both hands had failed to do. He had no choice.
"Gaaaahh!" Sano hissed in pain as he broke the kiss. Blood trickled down the side of his busted lip where Kenshin had bit him hard. Both of them panted heavily in their position. Sano had somehow straddled the other's legs around the thigh, restricting movement while he pinned the right hand against the wall. He had also planted his palm against Kenshin's left shoulder to hold him back and keep him there.
Kenshin made no more moves to throw Sano off of him but his eyes clearly expressed he wasn't allowing another kiss. "Why?" was the only word he uttered, his blue eyes glistening in the dull candle light along with the drops of crimson blood that had found their way on his chin and cheek.
Sano found his words caught in his throat, the heat of his anger quickly disspating like fire doused with cold water from those piercing eyes. He almost let go of him. Almost. Until the sadistic feeling of satisfaction rekindled in him upon seeing Kenshin under him, stirring something deep within him and waking up his senses as if for the first time. "It suits you, looking like this."
Kenshin's brow furrowed deeper. "What do you mean?"
Slowly, Sano leaned in closer. Kenshin looked alert but he remained still, watching like a hawk as he closed the distance again. His tongue found its way on Kenshin's cheek and he started licking his own blood off his skin. The samurai hissed lowly and jerked ever slightly away before remaining still, as if he had just decided to let it all unfold.
"I think I understand it now, somehow, how Shishio, Aoshi, Saito, and all the others who have sought to defeat you must have felt," Sano murmured as he lapped on the side of his face. He leaned in more and Kenshin felt the increased pressure on his shoulder and wrist of having almost all of the other's full weight on him.
His skin felt cold and wet and warm with Sano's alcohol ladden breath but he resisted pulling away. He could feel the other's mouth moving to the side of his right jaw, slowly going down the corner of his lips and on his chin. He could see the others behind Sano, sleeping hopefully a very deep sleep until he sorted out this situation.
"To have the legendary hitokiri under your power," Sano went on, licking his chin and nipping at Kenshin's bottom lip, "submisive..." He ran his tongue between those lips. "... tamed."
Kenshin turned his head sharply to the left. "This isn't like you, Sanosuke. This is not you."
Sano flinched before attacking the other's exposed neck, sucking and biting until he felt the body beneath him shake. "Why shouldn't this be me, ne Kenshin? Why shouldn't I be the one to do this to you?"
He didn't know how much longer he could take Sano's strange behavior but Kenshin thought he was getting closer to the root of it. The other had him at the disadvantage, it was true, but even as he sat there, just taking everything in, he knew he could easily free himself at any moment he decided.
He bit his lower lip at a particularly harsh suck on his neck. Whatever was it that Sano was going through, it was very personal and definitely involved Kenshin a great deal.
"It's because you are my friend, Sano. That is why I know this, whatever you are doing, isn't what you want. You are never one to hurt a friend, that you are not."
"Dammit Kenshin," Sano cursed and grabbed the other by the front of his yukata to drawhim close. "What do you know about me, huh? You go around telling me we're friends when you don't even trust me as an ally. I am not weak but you don't know that, do you? You know nothing!"
"I never said you are weak. All I did, I only wanted-"
"I don't want you protecting me. By doing it over and over, you show me just how lowly you thought of me!" Sano said with such passion, Kenshin thought he was going to get a punch. He didn't expect for another harsh kiss to be forced on him but it came, full of passion and desire. "I want you, Kenshin. I want you to be mine."
"You are drunk, Sano-"
"I know what I'm fucking saying! Listen to me. You earned my respect on the first time we met and you just kept on growing on me, growing on me, until all my thoughts are only those of you. It's driving me insane, Kenshin!"
Sano kissed him again and Kenshin was starting to believe him. The tongue inside his mouth, coaxing his unresponsive lips and the hands that had slipped under his yukata to touch his bare chest. The way Sano eagerly slipped it off him to bare his shoulder and the way he kissed his skin so longingly.
"Stop this, Sano"
He heard Kenshin's voice and felt the cruel bite of rejection of those words but he kept going. Kenshin was above him, he always had been. The only way he could ever get a chance of having him was to challenge him and beat him down.
"Stop it now"
Sano forcefully pushed him down the wooden floor and immediately held him down with his weight. He smiled as the other bucked his hip in an attempt to throw him off. "This has always been the only way to truly win you, Kenshin. I will do it. You'll see that I am strong, no, stronger than any of them."
Kenshin writhed and struggled as Sano undid the obi of his hakama. Sano licked his lips before beginning to pull them down. Kenshin took this opportunity to maneuver his legs and loosen Sano's grip before throwing him off. Sano fell on his side with thump and immediately jumped to him. It was the last thing he expected and he was caught by the other's force by the waist then they were falling. Kenshin landen painfully on his back with Sano on top.
The noise of the impact almost woke up Dr. Gensai. The old man grunted and moved until he settled on his other side and was quiet again.
"Be quiet or they'll see you like this," Sano warned lowly.
"I'm more afraid that they will see you being defeated by your demon, that I am."
"Shut up," he said and claimed the other's lips again. He grinded his growing erection against Kenshin's groin while he tried to undo the rest of the swordsman's clothing. Kenshin's protests were muffled in his mouth and he was still trying to push him but he could definitely feel bulge down there. It wasn't as big as his but it was a start. With a last swipe of his tongue, he broke the kiss to see the look on his face. Sano smiled.
Kenshin's face was flushed, his hair messy as it came loose somewhere in their struggle. Swollen lips panted for breath while blue eyes gazed back at him, searching and pleading still. Half of Sano was getting hid heart crushed by the look hevwas giving him while the other half feasted on this image of aroused lethal warrior, broken down to nothing but this.
"You are important to me, Sano. That's why I'm always protecting you."
Sano finally tore off the last of his clothing and he positioned himself between the other's legs, parting them widely. He undid his own hakama and took out his throbbing erection. Kenshin wasn't putting up much fight anymore, for some reason. He just lay there, watching him through those stubbornly defiant eyes.
"If you will go through with this, remember that I never meant to hurt you."
You don't understand!
"In my desire to protect the people I value, I was blinded and failed to see how I was making you feel."
You don't understand!
"And for that I am sorry."
You understand nothing!
He lifted his leg to his shoulder and roughly thrusted in. Kenshin's arm was between his teeth in an instant, drowning his cries of pain into small whimpers. The heat inside was enough to drive Sano mad with lust and he pushed all the way in, feeling pleasure course through his body. He withdrew halfway and quickly thrusted in, immediatetly getting rewarded by another shock of pleasure. He did it over and over, his pace quickening with every thrust but his lust couldn't be sated.
Kenshin's tears had given up on the third thrust and a steady stream of tears was running down his cheeks. It was pain like he never felt before, tearing from the inside again and again. He knew blood was in his mouth from biting his own arm to stop himself from screaming but he couldn't taste it. All he knew was the excruciating pain inside him.
The sound of skin against skin slick with sweat and blood, mingled by the harsh breaths of both pain and pleasure hung in the darkness and coolness of the night. Sano leaned down to claim his lips in open-mouthed kisses while he continued to fuck him hard.
"Hah... You're... Mine... Kenshin... You're mine..."
Sano's words came in ragged breaths in between thrusts. He was drunk in pleasure.
"Nnnn... Hah... Sano... No more..."
Kenshin wished nothing more but for everything to end. Even though he was soon feeling pleasure mingled with pain, with the latter getting less and less, the pain of betrayal was more than he could bear, like a wound getting reopened with each cruel thrust.
Sano's thrusts came harsher and faster, spearing him right through the core. He must be close, he told himself and he really was. Soon, Sano was filling him up with his seed and his body fell on top him apnting against his cheek. Kenshin lay breathlessly on his back, feeling light-headed. He could fill the sticky liquid running out of him.
Both their breaths soon evened and grew quiet. Sano could feel Kenshin's heartbeat against his own as he lay there, trying to make sense of what just happened. Of what he had just done. Kenshin's arm covered his eyes while the other lay quietly beside his head.
He isn't touching me, but he's not pushing me away either.
As minutes tick, the air seemed heavier in Sano's lungs. Kenshin's skin was suddenly painful against his so he removed himself from him clumsily. He stared down at his victim who was quietly laying on the floor under a bed of crimson hair. Something wet and hot made its way through Sano's eyes but it took him several minutes before he realized he was crying.
This... This is...
Suddenly, Kenshin was sitting up. He flinched slightly as he did and slowly brought the back of his hand against the side of his mouth, wiping it. He gathered his messy hair to one side and bruises and bitemarks on his neck were revealed. Red burn marks on his palms and knees as well as more bruises marred the pale skin on the swordsman's chest, shoulders, arms, and everywhere. He was standing up now and Sano noted the stiffness in his movements.
Kenshin slowly walked over to where his clothes had been carelessly tossed aside and began putting them on, never meeting his eyes.
More tears welled up in Sano's eyes as the other limped towards the door. He was shaking uncontrollably by the time the other stepped out into the night.
What have I done?
Sano broke into a run, dashing after him. "Kenshin!"
Kenshin stopped. He was in the garden, walking unsteadily under the moonlight. He waited.
"Is that it? You're not even going to hit me?" Sano called. He hated how desperate his voice sounded. He loathed how Kenshin wouldn't even look at him as he waited for a response.
He got none. Kenshin started walking again without as much as a glance back. It crushed Sano's heart.
"Kenshin! Wait!" he called, his voice breaking, and ran to his former friend. His victim. His love. "I'm sorry! Please... Don't leave. Don't go where I can't see you. Here," he said and held Kenshin's hand, "hit me. Beat me up. Break my arm, my leg, my neck. Please. Just..."
Kenshin refused to meet his gaze as he withdrew his hand. "I will not. The punishment you will give yourself will be more severe than whatever act of revenge I may ever do, that it will."
He was cruel. Kenshin was condemning him to walk through this cold path alone. "Please..."
"Whatever you may do, please refrain from taking your own life. Atone for what you did like I am doing. Tell the others that I have some business to take care of for a while... I believe we'll see each other again, that I do. Till then..."
Sano fell on his knees as he watched him walk away.
Author's note:
So... This is my first fanfiction for Rurouni Kenshin. I have recently watched the live action movie (twice) which was great and it made me want to rewatch the series I have never really watched properly in at least 10 years. I'm at episode 32 now (start of the Juppongatana arc) and I never read the manga so this fic is purely the product of those episodes and what I can remember from the anime series.
I know this might be a small yaoi fic in the sea of kaoru/kenshin fics so thanks so much for giving it a chance and reading! Hope you enjoyed. Please review. Onegaishimasu! :D