If some of you checked out smashmansion (my semi-active ask blog), you may have found a post about Princess Peach successfully sneaking out of the mansion. This is what happened after sneaking out. I've put some notes at the end of the story, if you're a bit confused.
Disclaimer: *insert legal stuff here about not owning Super Smash Bros* The lyrics translation is based on CookiezMS's (MapleStory video maker) version of the lyrics, but slightly changed to make it Nintendo-themed.
Dedication: To everyone who asked a question to smashmansion. (This includes Plasmatroopa, every single anon, BlueDragonSpirit6/thelegendofaang-twilightsparkle and majailcalleros)
This is my first time working on a songfic, so I'd appreciate some CNC and tips.
Master Hand and Crazy Hand fell asleep, and most of us can do whatever we want (as long it's in our own rooms).Well what should I do?
Well, my roommates are asleep
There's so much things I want to do right now
But what should I do tonight?
I got it! I'll go to my friend Zelda's room and ask her if she wants to do something with me! Luckily, her dorm is across from my dorm, so I put my book away, got off the bed, and left my dorm. The hallway looked narrow, resembling those halls in the hotels. I walked to her door and knocked on it.
*knock knock*
Zelda opened the door, disgruntled. I noticed her violet silk nightgown and her long chocolate locks flowing down. She yawned before glaring at me and my princess dress (I hadn't changed into my pajamas yet).
"I'm bored. Want to do something with me, like paint our nails or do makeovers on each other?" I asked politely.
"Are you for real? It's midnight and I want my beauty sleep." She slammed the door. On the other hand, there's always Samus. Sadly, she lived on the floor below me (because it was part of the original Smash Mansion), so I quietly snuck down the stairs and went to her dorm. I rang the doorbell, not noticing the "Do not Disturb" doorknob sign.
*ding dong*
"DID YOU READ THE SIGN I PLACED? IT SAYS DO NOT DISTURB!" Samus yelled angrily from her room.
It's midnight, my friends are all asleep.
Since my friends are asleep, maybe I can catch up on a show I've forgotten about.
The TV is showing nothing but static
I know! I'll go to that nearby convenience store!
I quietly snuck to the living room and turned on the television, lowering the volume so Master Hand won't wake up.
"Bzzzz..." went the TV, showing static in place of the soap opera I wanted to watch.
I never tried doing this, but I guess I'm to my last resort. I can simply spend my entire night at the nearby convenience store. Immediately, I dashed to my room and grabbed a purse. I tossed in a wallet and several bottles of strong coffee. I knew that the Alloy guards were guarding the front gate (they would have teleported me back to my room if they caught me), so I grabbed a parasol, strolled to the balcony (and closed the doors behind me), opened it up and jumped off. It worked, since the parasol acted like a parachute and I landed outside the gates of Smash Mansion. From there, I strolled towards the nearby convenience store.
24 hours (Convenience Store)
Open all year round (Convenience Store)
With security cameras (Convenience Store)
I'll warm up here (Convenience Store)
It's a gathering place for punks (Let's hang out at the entrance)
I'm too scared to go inside (Let's hang out at the entrance)
When I reached the store entrance, I saw Otacon and Knuckles hanging out.
They called out to me
"Hey there, girly girly." Otacon said seducively, while Knuckles let out a wolf whistle.
"What…what?" I stammered,
(Are you bra-less?)
"You don't wear a bra, don't you?" Otacon mumbled jokingly, walking up to me and cupping my breasts pervertedly. At the same time, the manager walked out, curious about what's going on. He noticed the two people harassing me.
"What are you doing to this girl?" demanded the manager. He glared at both of the men, while pointing outside.
"Ummm…nothing." Snake's friend responded.
"You were, and if I see you on this property again, I'm calling the police." he barked. Frightened, the two ran off into the darkness. The manager turned his body towards me.
"I'm sorry about what happened. Those guys are like that, scarin' the customers from my store." replied the manager. He held open the door, inviting me to come in. I accepted the invitation and entered the store.
After I got rid of those punks
The welcoming automatic doors open for me.
The convenience store sells a variety of goods. I noticed rows of imported candy from "Japan", from biscuit sticks covered with different types of frosting to hard candies you can't get elsewhere.
I walked towards the magazine aisle and picked up a magazine for high-school girls. Looking at the cover, I saw a variety of young actors, musicians and Smashers (they featured Ness on this issue). Flipping through the pages, there were gossip about celebrities (like the time Toon Link threw a fit at the mall), fashion advice (which included an outfit inspired by me), an interview with Zipp Toad, a poster of my friend Zelda, and stickers of Marth and Ike. I also saw a picture of Zelda and I holding an issue of an earlier issue of the magazine, and Mario's first word when reading it (Mama Mia!).
"Mmmm…why can't Hinawa be like her.." a masculine voice mumbled in a perverted tone, interrupting me from my reading. I looked beside me and saw a suspicious man reading a copy of Playrule (some dirty magazine popular in Hyrule). He resembled Lucas's father, but I noticed his red pupils and a darker color scheme. I also glared at the cover of the magazine. On it, is a picture of Anju posing dirty for the camera, captioned with "The Kakariko Cucco Lady shows us her 'Milk Bottles'!" in Hylian (Zelda taught me how to read, write and speak it). Realizing what he might do to me like last time, I stashed the magazine back into the racks and silently creeped away.
An old man beside me read a dirty magazine
I don't know what to buy here, and I'm trying to decide.
24 hours (Convenience Store)
Open all year round (Convenience Store)
Utility bills… (Convenience Store)
I strolled around the store looking for something to buy. I didn't see anything interesting, but I heard people arguing behind my back.
"HURRY UP WITH THE COPIER!" a feminine voice demanded.
(Convenience Store)
"You don't have to yell, and I have 49 pages to copy." another voice responded, sternly. Distracted, I looked behind and saw Mama Mario and Mona (Wario's girlfriend) arguing about the copier.
"Oh look at that drama, someone tell me where I can get some popcorn." a foreigner responded. He wore a fancy blue pinstriped suit, and a matching ski mask to go with it. The two women looked at the man.
"Shut up, it's none of your business!" Mama Mario hissed, before hitting him on the noggin with her purse.
Shrugging, I ignored them and continued my shopping trip. A poster featuring some tasty red bean buns caught my attention, along with a 20% discount sticker slapped on it.
A silent part timer! (With a blank look on his face)
I have no makeup (With drawn-on eyebrows too)
Looking beside the poster, I saw a silent and mute-looking part timer texting someone, along with a food warmer featuring a variety of steamed buns. I realized that I forgot to put on my makeup and eyeliner before leaving the mansion (even if I go to the supermarket). Wiping my forehead, the eyebrow pencil smeared all over my satin gloves, making my eyebrows look nasty (I didn't have a mirror at that time).
A red bean paste bun, please (We're sold out)
I'll have some meat buns then (Certainly)
"Hello, I'd like some red bean paste buns." I requested while pointing to a random bun. My mouth watered since I hadn't ate them in a long time.
"We're sold out." responded the part-timer. I looked at the other buns they offered, marked with a dot of food dye. I noticed that they only offered buns with an orange dot, before looking at the legend.
"I can make do with some meat buns. Two of them please." I responded, while forking over a $10 bill. The part-timer jammed the bill into the register, before changing his gloves, grabbing two buns from the warmer. He handed it to me, and a printer spat out a receipt in a few minutes.
The way he handed my change was terrible
The coins piled up like a receipt paperweight.
It's difficult to put into my wallet, and I ended up dropping them.
The part-timer tore the receipt off the printer, before placing it into my hand. He also piled the coins on top of the receipt, making it resemble a receipt paperweight. I tried storing into my purse, but it was difficult to do so. I ended up dropping the coins on the floor, which is nearly impossible for me to pick up (due to my petticoat and modesty lessons).
I was really annoyed and I have to do something
So I decided to plan on some mischief.
It really annoyed me how they gave me the money and the hobo stealing my dropped coins, so I decided to plan my revenge. A smile cracked under my mouth as I spoke to the part-timer.
"Excuse me." I said.
"May I help you?" the part-timer responded
"Um…umm." I stammered.
"May I help you?" repeated the part-timer.
"Um…umm." I continued to stammer.
"The line is getting long." the part-timer explained. We looked behind and saw Kumatora, Krystal, Ephraim, and Magnus waiting to pay up. Magnus looked like he could cut me into two any moment. Despite that, I continued to annoy them.
"Um…umm." I answered.
"Please decide quickly." sighed the part-timer, looking at the long line.
"An egg, please!" I beamed.
"One egg, coming up." The part-timer grabbed a hard-boiled egg from the counter.
"Another egg, please!" I sang.
"Two eggs." the part-timer replied, inputting numbers into the register and getting another egg.
"Another egg, please!" I chimed.
"Three eggs…" complained the part-timer.
"That's all I need!" I giggled.
"3 eggs? More like 'I want to piss off the entire line by asking for one egg at a time'!" Kumatora yelled. She had flames coming out of my hands. I swallowed hard before requesting something else.
"Just eggs?" The part-timer ignored Kumatora and tried to pay attention to me.
"And lots of tempura sauce too!" I cheered.
"Certainly." the part-timer explained while putting three bottles of tempura sauce on the counter.
"How much is it?" I questioned.
"22 dollars, please." requested the part-timer.
"Here's 100 dollars." I handed a 100 dollar bill to the part-timer. Shocked, the part-timer responded.
"Don't you have anything smaller?"
"Here's 100 dollars." I continued to say.
"Don't you have anything smaller?" the part-timer repeated.
"Give me change then." I said maliciously.
"Certainly…" stammered the part-timer.
"I want a receipt." I requested quickly.
"Slow down please." the part-timer asked.
"Can you just hurry up?"Ephraim demanded.
"Can I use the toilet?" I asked innocently.
"We don't have one." the part-timer reported.
"Then where do you go?" I inquired.
"You got me!" yelled the part-timer before fainting.
The night passes so quickly
That I hear the rooster crowing
I better get home before my roommates wake up
I should go back again
Let's go to convenience store!
Let's go to convenience store!
Let's go to convenience store!
I looked at the convenience store windows and saw the sun rising. I heard the Pidgey crowing and realized that I better get back to the mansion before Master Hand realizes that I'm missing.
Perhaps tonight I can return back there with Samus or Zelda. I
Notes:
- That "suspicious man" is Evil Flint, and he's the evil clone of Lucas's father (Flint). I used to run an ask blog about him, but I shelved it due to complete failure and OOCness. I'm still working on a bonus about him, which is the "last time" Princess Peach referenced.
- The Magnus in the story is the Kid Icarus one, and not the MapleStory one (unlike what happened in Bowser's Interviews).
- Mona being Wario's girlfriend is a head canon of mine.
- Princess Peach knowing Hylian is also a head canon.
Also, I'm really busy at the moment (since I have to study for exams) and I don't think I'll be posting for a while.