A/N: So this idea has been a joke between me and several of my friends (although I'm pretty sure it was Katie's original idea) and I finally sat down and decided to write it myself. And yes, it's obvious that many of the characters our a little OOC but the thing about most comedy fics is that they ARE OOC… and it's hilarious. All this to say, don't send me reviews saying "they would sooo not do that." People who review like that have crap opinions. ENJOY!
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A long, long time ago (well, actually it was a couple years from now) in a galaxy far, far away (… like Japan) there lived a boy; a boy who was becoming a man.
His name: Kurama. Tomorrow was his twenty-first birthday and he had been very anxious about it. Yusuke and Kuwabara were taunting him and saying how tomorrow he was to become a MAN! He was finally at legal drinking age and he could go into all kinds of clubs and everything. Needless to say, both of the younger guys were insanely jealous.
"Lucky duck," commented Yusuke. He, Kuwabara, Kurama, and even Hiei were sitting around a kitchen table on a Friday night. And you know what that means. It was poker night. Tonight, they hosted it at Kurama's place.
"What was that?" said Kurama as he tapped the top of his cards. "Full house. Very nice."
"You're turning twenty-one and we still got a year to go! They'll never let us into any place that's worth going to!" replied Yusuke as he stared at his sucky cards.
"Yeah!" said Kuwabara, who was really not listening but rather trying to find a way to sneak another card out of the deck without anyone seeing.
"I don't plan on going out and being stupid tomorrow just because I have more privileges. The reason why they wait until you're twenty-one for some things is that they assume that by that time you're mature enough to handle them properly."
"Maturity is over-rated," muttered Yusuke, not taking his eyes off his cards. "No mature person ever had any fun."
"I have lots of fun."
"Name one time."
"Just last week I learned how to drive a stick shift," Kurama answered proudly and Yusuke wanted to smack him.
"Yeah, that's first-class entertainment right there," mumbled Yusuke and Kurama frowned.
"Now I can drive a mustang a friend of mine owns. It goes from 0 to 80 in four seconds."
"You lie!"
"Nope," said Kurama. Yusuke slouched in his seat and sulked a little bit.
"I want a mustang," he said with a whimper in his voice like a kid who wanted a new toy. "You never do anything new, though. Nothing daring or exciting!"
"Annie up," called Hiei and everyone threw a few brightly colored poker chips into a pile in the middle of the table.(A/N: For all you non-poker playing people. "Annie up" means put your bets on the table) "Feeling lucky tonight, huh, Kurama? You bet 175 on this hand."
"Just for Yusuke, I felt like being out of control and betting more plastic poker chips than usual," Kurama mocked and Yusuke gave a sour face and a fake, annoyed laugh.
"Very funny."
"It tickled me."
"Just play," commanded Yusuke and he threw out a few more chips. "I see your bet and raise it 30."
"Man!" said Kuwabara. He was running a little low on chips. And the rule was if you lost all your chips, you had to do whatever the others told you to. One time, Yusuke had to stand out in the middle of the snow in just his boxers for half an hour. The entire time he was drawing quite a lot of attention to himself because he was banging on the house windows and shouting for the other guys to let him back inside.
"I'm freezing my nuts off out here!" he would yell and anyone who might have possibly been passing by either stared or started walking a little more quickly.
Kuwabara was on the edge of no mercy. He glared across the table at Hiei who was barely able to look over the mountain of chips to see the other players.
"He just learned how to play this a few weeks ago and he's kicking our butts," thought Kuwabara miserably.
"Alright, show your hands," announced Kurama and everyone laid down their cards.
"Read them and weep," said Hiei.
Kuwabara had a pair of two's, Yusuke had the beginning of a straight (a four, a five, and a seven), Kurama had a full house, and Hiei managed to pull off his famous Royal flush, all in clubs (what he called "clubbing the royal family to death and flushing them down the toilet")
"I swear, you cheat! There's no way someone can be that lucky!" Kuwabara complained and Hiei raked in his winnings.
"I thought there was no way someone could be that ugly but you proved me wrong too," Hiei shot back in his same, indifferent tone and Yusuke laughed out loud.
"You have to admit, that was a good one," said Yusuke as he tried to suppress his laughter.
"Shut up!" yelled Kuwabara.
"Looks like you're all out of chips, Kuwabara," said Kurama with a hint of evil in his voice.
"I-… it's!... wha… this is not fair!" whined Kuwabara.
"When I said 'read them and weep' I didn't literally mean have a hissy fit," said Hiei peevishly.
"So what are we gonna make him do?" said Yusuke and he looked at his two accomplices. They huddled together with their backs to Kuwabara and Yusuke would peek over his shoulder to grin at Kuwabara mischievously every once in a while. They whispered to one another until they came to a decision.
"You must-"
"And we mean MUST-"
"Shave your head."
"NO!" yelled Kuwabara.
"Tsk tsk. You walked into this poker game with full knowledge that this might, and probably would, happen. You practically signed a contract by walking into Kurama's house," replied Yusuke very unsympathetically. Then he turned to Kurama and said in a very doctoral voice, "Buzzer."
"I don't have one," Kurama said back. "Duh. It's been quite a while since I cut my hair. Especially that short."
"Scissors then."
"Those won't get close enough to make it looked shaved."
"Let me scalp him and you're sure to get all the hair," suggested Hiei and all three boys bellowed "NO!" in unison.
"I'm getting out of here," Kuwabara thought as the three were arguing amongst themselves on how to shave his hair off. Tip-toeing to the exit, the door suddenly swung open and smashed into Kuwabara's face.
"Happy birthday, Kurama!" Botan chirped merrily from the doorway. She stepped over Kuwabara to get to the red head. "You're twenty-one at this very moment!"
Kurama glanced over at the kitchen clock and read "12:01". Then he looked back at Botan's smiling face and thought how she was probably sitting outside the house from some time, just waiting until it was officially the next day to burst in the door.
"Is it really that late?" muttered Kurama to himself.
"Indeed it is! I'm so excited for you! What are you planning to do for your birthday?"
"Huh?" said Kurama. He really wasn't planning on doing anything.
"Are you going to have a party? Maybe go somewhere for some fun? There's so many things you could do."
"Um… well, I actually wasn't preparing for anything special this year," answered Kurama and Yusuke saw his chance. This was his chance to finally let Kurama get in-touch with his masculine side and get something out of it for himself as well. He butted in quickly.
"But I was!" The people in the room stopped what they were doing and looked over at Yusuke, who had a big goofy grin on his face. "I was planning something for Kurama. It's a surprise!"
"It's a lovely offer, Yusuke, but I-"
"How wonderful! You have such amazing friends, Kurama! He even went and planned a birthday surprise for you," said Botan vivaciously. "What are you going to do?"
Yusuke got an evil glint in his eye.
"It's a surprise. But it's guys only, Botan," said Yusuke and Botan felt a little sad but she let it go. It was Kurama's birthday, not hers.
"Well, I better get back to Spirit World. See you all later!" she said and hopped onto her oar. Kurama and Yusuke waved goodbye to her as she flew off and then refocused on the matter at hand.
"So… planning on a birthday surprise?" asked Kurama cynically.
"As a matter of fact, yes," Yusuke retorted. "I just had a stroke of genius and I think you're going to enjoy this as much as I am."
"What are you scheming?" asked Hiei with his eyes squinted in a criticizing way.
"You'll see tomorrow night. Come over to my house at like 9 or something and I'll show you how someone should celebrate their twenty-first birthday."
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"Yusuke, I really do not appreciate this," said Kurama.
"I blindfolded you so it would be a surprise," explained Yusuke as he drove the car.
"But did you have to tie me up and throw me in the backseat like you did?" said Kurama with touch of annoyance in his voice.
"So I got a little carried away. Picky, picky, picky. Somehow, I think you'll survive."
Hiei was watching out the window, not really paying attention to anyone in the car while Kuwabara was making faces at passing cars and strangely, he was enjoying how many people were giving him the bird.
"I'd just like you to know that I still have the choice of whether I want to go into this place or not," Kurama reminded Yusuke from the backseat.
"You're the birthday boy, YOU don't have a choice about what you get for a present," said Yusuke.
"I have a feeling that I'm going to want to give this present right back."
"Have you no faith in me?" asked Yusuke.
"Unless it's fighting, no. Definitely no."
"I'm hurt," Yusuke said, feigning tears.
"You're acting like a drama queen."
"And you're acting like a party-pooper."
"You threw me a party?"
"No."
"Then what are you planning?"
"Would you stop asking that! Or do you still not understand the concept of a 'surprise'?"
"I'd just like a hint," pleaded Kurama as he tried to get the duct-tape off of his wrists.
"Deal with it!"
"FIRE!" screamed Kuwabara.
"Where?" hollered Yusuke incredulously. For a second or two, all was silent.
"I was feeling left out in the conversation," confessed Kuwabara.
"Well if you'd stop scaring little children with your face then you can join in," grunted Hiei.
"No one asked you, midget," Kuwabara snapped and Hiei rolled his eyes.
"Chill out, man. We're almost there," informed Yusuke and Hiei went back to looking out the window. The surroundings had suddenly changed, though. It was a pretty trashy part of town that they were driving through, with women in skimpy clothes who would walk up to any guy on the street and start making out with him and then hold out her hand like she wanted something in return. There was a bad odor in the air like "essence of flaming garbage" or "too much cheap perfume". And then there was the occasional sound of a gunshot or glass breaking.
"Are we in the ghetto?" asked Kuwabara curiously. Staring at him icily, Yusuke responded with a no.
"Tell me where the heck we are!" demanded a very nervous redhead in the back.
"Relax. All will be revealed in time. Never rush life. "
"…. That was about the stupidest comment I've ever heard you utter," said a very unimpressed Hiei.
"For once, I agree," added Kuwabara. Yusuke brushed their words off and kept on driving. All of a sudden, the car turned very sharply into a large parking lot and Yusuke squealed enthusiastically, "WE'RE HERE!"
He parked in an empty space and then got out. He took a deep breath, then choked on it a little because the air smelled so foul, but composed himself enough to open the door to the back and guide Kurama out of the car. He took the duct-tape off his feet so he could walk but kept it on his hands and a blindfold over his eyes. All those who could see, were staring at the sign. Yusuke's stare was more of an excited one and the other two were just in awe of how weird Yusuke was.
In big, neon letters there was the name of the establishment: "Nicely Nude"
"YES!" yelled Kuwabara, and Hiei was still looking at it, trying to understand its meaning. Did people just walk around naked in there or something?
"This is where a REAL man goes for his twenty-first birthday!" said Yusuke excitedly. He removed Kurama's blindfold along with the rest of the duct-tape and for a moment, Kurama was speechless. Yusuke…. had brought him…. to a strip club.
"What have you done!" whispered Kurama and stared at the sign in horror.
"You know you want to go in," coaxed Yusuke and Kuwabara was right behind him, trying to get Kurama in the building.
"YOU can go in but I'm staying in the car," declared Kurama and Yusuke started dragging him across the parking lot to the entrance.
"We need you to go in too," said Yusuke.
"Why?"
"You're twenty-one. You can get us in!"
"You're insane! There's no way I would go into a place like that!"
"Well, there's more of your birthday gift inside if you'll just move your ass."
"Let me go!"
"Not a chance. Help me, Kuwabara!" called Yusuke and the other boy came to his side. Together, they forced Kurama through the blacked-out glass doors. The minute they got inside, more strange smells passed their noses. It was smokier in that room than in a bar and the smell of alcohol and sweat made it smell like a drunkard's locker room.
"What is it with this town and terrible stenches?" complained Hiei as he rubbed his nose. No one was listening to him, though. Kurama was trying to escape while Yusuke and Kuwabara stared wide-eyed at their surroundings. There were no performers on the stage yet but there were girls all around the place giving lap dances and teasing the men (and a few lesbian women) with their ostentatious dancing.
"Kurama, for the love of Enma, please go along with this! I'll never ask for another thing ever again," Yusuke begged, clasping his hands together.
"No! Never!"
"I'll pay you!" offered Yusuke and that caught Kurama's attention. He could not deny that he loved money (what kitsune wouldn't?) and so he heard his friend out.
"How much?"
"I've got 50000 yen at my house! I'll give you it all if you just stay so we can stay!" Yusuke pointed to Kuwabara and himself when he emphasized the "we".
Kurama thought about his offer for a moment as he looked idly at the floor. 50000 yen for one night at a strip club? He could do that. If he just minded his own business and didn't watch the show then it'd be like making money doing nothing.
"I agree. But we leave when I want to leave."
"Yes! Of course! Anything! Thank you, so much, Kurama!" Yusuke was practically kissing the fox's feet and Kurama rolled his eyes and thinking how embarrassing this all was. A pretty blonde lady with a black shirt on that had the word "Bouncer" printed across her large chest stood in front of them and asked for ID's. Kurama pulled out his driver's license and she let them pass.
Yusuke took care of finding a table that they could all sit at and Kurama asked one tall waitress to bring him some water. All the waitresses looked like hooters girls, only worse. They wore either shorts or micro-mini skirts that were black leather. Along with that, they're tops were red corsets that gave the full push-up bra effect. The shoes varied from gothic looking knee-high boots to strappy high heels but all of them looked like strippers themselves.
"I've heard people rave about this place. They're supposed to have the best strippers in Japan and their drinks are extra-strong," Yusuke whispered to the other guys.
"Strippers?" questioned Hiei. He had never heard the word before.
"You don't know what a stripper is Hiei?" said Yusuke in disbelief.
"No, should I?"
"Well, you'll find out soon enough. Waitress, can I get a margarita?" Yusuke ordered from across the room and the waitress who was getting Kurama's drink looked back and nodded. She filled up a glass full with ice water and the other with a margarita and walked back over to their table.
"Here you go, guys. You sure you don't want some booze, Red?" she asked Kurama, who shook his head and took a sip of his water.
He answered her with, "This should be fine, thanks."
The waitress shrugged and pushed back some dark red hair. It was obvious that it wasn't natural but neither are bellybutton rings and those look good too. Her blue eyes stuck out in contrast to her red hair and dark eyeliner surrounding her eyes.
"When is the show starting?" asked Yusuke anxiously.
"In a few minutes. The girl is just getting ready. She's doing a special routine," the waitress said back.
"Special routine?" said Kurama with one eyebrow raised. "Sounds like cheerleading and not stripping."
"That's right. Most stripper girls have a choreographer who makes up what they should do. This girl made the whole thing up herself and it's been quite a hit. It's a little unconventional but she's got a good theme going."
"And what is the theme?"
"Britney Spears," she answered and then left them.
"They've got some cute waitresses here," Kuwabara mentioned and even Kurama agreed.
"In my opinion, this is all a joke. What do they do here but drink and smoke? And the girls look truly appalling," Hiei criticized.
"My, aren't you the life of the party, Hiei," Yusuke said flatly.
"It wasn't my idea to come here." Hiei crossed his arms and propped his feet up on the table. For a little while they just talked and waited for the show to start.
Someone approached them and when they all looked up, they recognized the person as the bouncer. What was she doing? In fishnets and a short, low cut dress she leaned over onto the table and let the guy see the obvious cleavage she had.
"Anyone interested in a lap dance?" she asked and she winked at Kurama.
"Aren't you the bouncer?" he asked instead of replying yes or no.
"We were a little short-handed tonight and I needed to fill in for our regular bouncer. But this is my real job."
"Lap dancer?" asked Yusuke.
"And a prostitute. I'm Dominic," she added. Kurama was a little taken back by how proud she was of her occupation.
"Multi-talented, aren't you, Dominic?" Yusuke remarked but the girl wouldn't stop looking at Kurama.
"How about it, sexy?" she offered again but Kurama declined.
"Come on, man! It's you're birthday!" Yusuke said trying to persuade him.
"Do you want to stay and see the show? I could leave right now," Kurama threatened and Yusuke shut up.
"We're all good here, babe," concluded Yusuke.
"I'd like one!" Kuwabara chimed in. Dominic looked over at Kuwabara and her face split into a grin. It was kind of like those ones you make when you're really trying not to laugh but it's just too funny.
"You couldn't pay me enough," she ended and got up and walked away. Kuwabara was a little hurt but once other girls offered to give him lap dances, he got over it.
About a half hour later, the lights in the room dimmed a little, signaling the beginning of the show. There were some spot lights on the stage (which looked a lot like a cat walk). One was focused on the pole at the end of the stage that went from the ceiling to the floor, and some other more colorful lights illuminated the rest so no one would miss the dancing.
An announcer man, person, thing got onto the stage with a cordless mike and made an introduction. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome our special performer tonight! She's Nicely Nude's most famous and sought after dancer and once you see her, you'll never be able to take your eyes away! Performing tonight will be Miss Rosy Sunset!"
The man ran off the stage and suddenly, a girl with pigtails in a grey pleaded shirt, white button-up shirt and knee high socks walked onto the stage. No one in the club spoke or clapped. They all just started at her. She looked like she had just gotten out of school and she held her head down so no one could see her face, just the top of her strawberry blonde hair. She tapped her Mary Jane shoe in a certain rhythm like a drummer would before a song started.
Soon some quick paced music started and to the tempo of her tapping. There were screeching violins and light drums for a bit and then the lyrics began. The minute they had, the girl snapped her head up and started mouthing the words with that "cute little catholic girl" look on her face.
"Baby can't you see,
I'm calling
A guy like you should wear a warning
It's dangerous,
I'm falling"
On the "falling" line, the girl leaned back so far that it looked like the matrix and yet she still kept her balance. After a second, she pulled herself back up. This time, the look on her face was more seductive. Like "you know you want this". The strong beat in the song made this all the more sexy.
"There's no escape
I
can't wait
I need a hit
Baby give me it
You're dangerous
I'm
loving it"
She danced around the stage and the short skirt would flip up every once in a while and flash the audience with a little color.
"Too
high, can't come down
Losing my head
Spinning 'round and
'round
Do you feel me now?"
She walked down the long stage to the pole at the edge and grabbed it. When she sang "spinning round and round" she twirling around the pole.
"With
a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slipping
under
Tasting the poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't
you know that you're toxic
And I love what you do
Don't you
know that you're toxic"
All of a sudden, Rosy ripped off her white shirt to reveal a tiny pink tank-top and she twirled the shirt around in the air with a loud hoot. The crowd called for her to throw it into the audience and when she complied, it landed on a certain fire demon's head. He wasn't even facing the stage and watching so it took him so off guard that he lost his balance and fell out of his chair. Rosy giggled from onstage as she watched other men in the club trying to steal the shirt and ended up just ripping it to shreds. When Hiei stood up, his pride was not only hurt but he back was too. Glaring maliciously at Rosy, he took his seat again but this time he turned his seat around so he could watch out for more flying clothing. She winked in his direction and Hiei ignored it as she continued her pole dancing.
"It's
getting late to give you up
I took a sip
From my devil
cup
Slowly taking over me"
This girl had to be like a champion pole dancer. All the other strippers who worked at Nicely Nude envied her and all the guys who came loved to watch. They said that they liked the whole "naughty catholic" thing that she had going on and the manager had her perform often to attract customers.
"Too
high, can't come down
It's in the air
And it's all around
Can
you feel me now?"
She unzipped the skirt down the front and threw it off and this time, it landed on the floor and there was a dog pile of guys trying to get it.
"With
a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slipping
under
Tasting the poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't
you know that you're toxic
And I love what you do
Don't you
know that you're toxic"
Now in only the tank-top and her pink thong, she repeated the chorus two more times but came off the stage to dance in front of the guys. It was a rule at the club that no one could touch the stripers while they were dancing so there were guys literally fighting themselves to hold back. She came over to the YYH guys and started dancing in front of them. Yusuke was staring like he was entranced. Kurama had his head down and his hand covering his eyes thinking "Just a second or two and she'll leave." By now, Kuwabara had already passed out on the floor. Rosy brushed Hiei's butt suggestively and Hiei yelled "DON'T TOUCH ME!"
But Rosy didn't seem like someone who could take no for an answer. She looked at Hiei and licked her lips seductively and then hurried back up to the stage to finish the song.
"Intoxicate
me now
With your loving now
I think I'm ready now
(there goes the top)
Intoxicate
me now
With your loving now
I think I'm ready now"
She flung off her thong and then retreated behind the curtain with a wink to the audience. The song ended just a second or two later and the entire crowd went crazy! They were crumpling up dollar bills and throwing them at the curtain while screaming for her to come back on and dance some more. The man with the mike came back on the stage.
"I don't know about you guys out there but I thought that dance was HOT!" he said and the spectators hooted and hollered in agreement. "Looks like Rosy has a favorite little audience member. Hey you! Right there! What's you're name?"
"Hiei," answered Hiei tersely.
"Hiei, I think you're about the luckiest guy here tonight. Rosy wants to see you in her dressing room," the man said and the crowd half glared and half applauded for Hiei.
"She's of no interest to me," the fire demon said and crossed his arms.
"Oh, come on! Go see her! She's hot!" the crowd said, egging him on.
"Alright! If it'll make you all shut up, I'll go!"
More applause and the microphone man (he's officially "Mike" from now on) lead Hiei through a door in the back of the strip club.
"I hate you demons," said Kuwabara. "First Dominic wouldn't give me a lap dance when she would give you one, Kurama. And now Rosy's got Hiei in her dressing room probably making out or having sex."
"You're so vulgar," Kurama said in disgust. "I'm going over to the bar to get something else to drink."
"Don't go too crazy with that beer, Kurama," joked Yusuke.
"I wasn't going to drink beer!"
But Kurama received no answer, for another one of the lap dancers was entertaining Yusuke.
Kurama sat on one of the high barstools and leaned his elbows on the smooth, marble bar.
"Hey, chickadee," greeted the bar tender. She was in the same waitress get-up and she had bright orangey-red hair. The fox looked over at her as she leaned against the beer taps leisurely.
"I'm a guy, thank you," answered Kurama.
"You can't hide what's inside, chickadee. Who you be?"
"I'm Shuuichi."
"Nice to meet you, Suzy."
"It's Shuuichi," Kurama repeated and Jennifer walked over to be in front of him and set her elbows down on it like he had. She really staggered more than walked but you get the idea. It was evident that she was a little tipsy. Her sluggish giggling and uncoordinated movements were sure signs that she had gotten into too much of that beer that she was supposed to be serving.
"So what you here for? Did you kill someone?" she asked giddily.
"This isn't prison or anything" answered Kurama with a look on his face that said 'how drunk ARE you?'
"It isn't?" she said and then had a sad look on her face but started smiling again and said, "That's cool!"
"What's your name?"
"Abu-bu, man with muffin!" she answered and Kurama sighed as if this girl was impossible. "And I'd like to tell you a story about sheep and mice! YES the sheep wear no clothes."
"That's very interesting," said Kurama. Of course, he was both very bored and very annoyed and then the waitress that he and the guys had met before came behind the bar and over to the drunk bartender.
"Jennifer! What are you doing? Leave the poor guy alone, he doesn't want to hear you ramble on," scolded the waitress. She pulled the bartender from her leaning position on the bar and brought her around to the customer side to sit down. Once she had sat Jennifer in a seat, the waitress went back around to the other side and came over to Kurama.
"Sorry about her. She's always like this. Heck, it's worse when she's sober," said the girl.
"Is she always drunk on the job?" inquired Kurama and she nodded. "Shouldn't they fire her?"
"Surprisingly, the manager likes it. She's got great alcohol tolerance so she hardly ever passes out and she's got a knack for selling beer to people. Sometimes I wonder if it's just that the people buy beer to get her to leave them alone," the girl teased her friend and Jennifer got up from her seat and went over to sit next to Kurama. He didn't mind.
"So, what's your name?" asked Kurama and the girl looked down at her corset and pointed to a nametag that was pinned to it. In big black letters it said "Erin". Slightly embarrassed, Kurama just said, "Oh."
"Don't worry," Erin answered laughing. "People do it all the time. They're usually to busy staring at my boobs to look for a nametag."
"Well I wasn't loo-"
Kurama stopped in mid-sentence. Jennifer next to him was poking his hair curiously. Then all of a sudden, she screamed and started going into spasms.
"What the crap are you doing?" said a very ticked off Erin. Then Jennifer just stopped and was fine again.
"I thought his head was on fire," answered Jennifer like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"He's just got red hair."
"What is it with you people and wanting to be like me!"
"His hair is natural, Jennifer, and I dyed mine b/c I like the color. And besides, it's no where near your color," explained Erin and Jennifer waved her hand and dismissed both of the ideas.
"Pfft, yeah right. You all just think I'm so hot that you want to look like me."
Groaning miserably, Erin rubbed her eyes in frustration.
"I'm letting you go home with Katie tonight," she said.
"Katie?" asked Kurama, wondering who Katie was.
"Oh, I guess you'd know her by her stripper name, Rosy Sunset."
"She's a friend of yours?"
"Yup. She's the one who got us our jobs here."
"Where did she get Rosy Sunset out of Katie? Usually strippers use their first name in their stripper name."
"Actually, you get your stripper name using your middle name and the name of the street you live on," clarified Erin. Kurama laughed a little and then remembered she and her friends probably talk about this stuff seriously. This is their job anyway.
"So are you a stripper too?"
"Heck no! I have gynophobia."
"You have a fear of nudity?" asked Kurama trying to make sure that he heard right.
"Uh huh," assured Erin.
"And you work at a strip club?"
"Indeed."
"… Why?"
"THE BOOB SNATCHER IS COMING!" shrieked Jennifer and the manager walked over to the three.
"You're shifts are over, you guys, if you want to go home. It's already after midnight."
"Thanks, Bob. I think I am gonna head home. Make sure Jennifer goes home with Katie, please. Jack's probably waiting for her," said Erin and she bent down behind the bar and pulled a denim jacket up. Slipping it on and slipping out from behind the bar, she slipped away from Kurama.
He watched her walk away and wave at him before heading out of the door. Sighing, he looked at Jennifer who was spinning on the barstool.
"(407) 338 - 0036. And bingo was her name-o!" recited Jennifer merrily as she wrote something on a napkin.
"What did you say?" questioned Kurama.
"(407) 338 - 0036. It's her number, stupid," repeated Jennifer and she got up and did a random cartwheel and amazingly, she didn't fall on her butt from being so drunk. The fox glanced over at the napkin Jen was writing on and it had the number. He stuffed it in his pocket and went over to sit with Kuwabara and Yusuke.
"Bye, chickadee!" called Jennifer and Kurama didn't look back to answer.
"Yeah!" congratulated Yusuke and he gave Kurama a slap on the back.
"What was that for?" Kurama said.
"You hooked up with that waitress girl, right? We saw you over there flirting! You're such a shameless flirt!"
"Why are you so happy about something that didn't even happen?"
"You didn't get her number," asked Yusuke and he was suddenly very serious.
"Well, I got it but that doesn't mean-"
"Woohoo! I knew it! Both you AND Hiei got a chick now."
"What does that mean?"
This time it was Kuwabara who answered. "I was looking for the bathroom and I went through the wrong door and I accidentally ended up in Rosy Sunset's dressing room while she and Hiei were making out."
That mental image made Kurama shudder. He really wished Kuwabara hadn't said that.
"Have you two been drinking?" he inquired even though he knew the answer. Heck yes. He was going to have to be the designated driver tonight.
"Shh! Another stripper is coming on!" hushed Yusuke and Kurama decided that he was over it.
"We're getting out of here, now. I'm done," commanded Kurama and he dragged both guys out of Nicely Nude.
"What about Hiei," mentioned Yusuke. Kurama stopped and made a face before he answered.
"I have a feeling he won't be done there for a while. Besides, he doesn't have to be driven anywhere like you guys."
Then, Kuwabara came to the conclusion that, "Hiei's a hobo!"
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Well, the night ended right. Kurama had to bring both the guys back to his house because they fell asleep in his car and while they were in a drunken slumber, he finally did shave Kuwabara's head (scissors and a razor) and he pulled out markers and colored on Yusuke's face. He colored his eyelids magenta and put pink striped on the sides of his face and a big, blue crescent moon on his forehead.
"Who ever said I never have any fun?" thought Kurama and laughed aloud at the sight before him. This was to be the most unforgettable birthday of his life.
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A/N: I can't believe I wrote a strip tease scene. But what else do you do when you're at a strip club? I myself have never actually been to one but I heard they're just like bars, only with girls getting paid to take their clothes off. REVIEW!