Title: Remembrance
Summary: Modern AU— He remembers bruises and an ugly scar. He remembers...his father.
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail © Hiro Mashima
Prompt: Family, Laxus/ Iwan
Word Count: 1335 (does not include line breaks or author's notes)
Written for: The NEW Fairy Tail Writing Challenges— Challenge #2
warnings: domestic abuse, child abuse,
Laxus has a great memory. It lets him remember a lot of things he'd rather not. He remembers his dad. He remembers bruises. And he remembers having to hide them. There are a lot of things that he remembers.
Laxus doesn't like to remember.
He hates to remember. He hates everything. He hates his grandfather for taking him away from his dad. He hates weak people. He hates cowards. Mostly though, he hates himself.
Laxus hates everything and everyone. He is filled to the brim with hate and nothing can change that. And it doesn't, at least, not for a very long time.
He remembers...bruises and an ugly scar.
:
He is young. He is little and he is weak—his father tells him so all the time. He is also five.
He's just gotten back from school, His very first day. He is excited and happy. He wants to tell his father all about what happened that day. Because maybe, just maybe, his dad will be proud of what he's accomplished in his first day of kindergarten.
He knocks softly on his father's door. He does not want to get yelled at again.
He flinches, but only a little, when his father's angry voice tells him to enter. He opens the den doors and walks quietly into his father's work space—his father works from home. He is scared, but only a little, because his father's office is a mess. Laxus doesn't remember it being this chaotic in the morning.
There are papers strewn all over the place; the computer monitor, that's usually on his father's desk, is on the floor in pieces; all the bookcases that his father has filled with books are overturned and the books are all over the floor. And his father is standing in the middle of all this chaos, with his back turned to Laxus. Laxus thinks he sees his father's shoulder shaking—except, his father doesn't shake. His father is...well, he just doesn't shake.
"What do you want, Laxus?"
His father's voice scares him. His seething tone makes Laxus jump and the way his father says his name has him especially frightened. Laxus feels like he should run but that will only make his father angry. Laxus doesn't like making his father angry. Anyway, he should answer his father. His father hates waiting for him.
"F-father, sorry! I-uh-I was just—I mean I was just going to—" He winces, as he hears himself speak.
His father hates it when he stumbles over his words.
He expects his father to yell at him, to tell him to speak up and stop stammering but he doesn't. Instead, his father turns and hits him.
This isn't something that Laxus expects.
Laxus doesn't expect to get struck across the face. He doesn't expect for his father to hit him more than once, to slap him, to punch him, to kick him...to beat him. He doesn't expect the fury in his father's eyes.
Laxus doesn't cry. He's scared but he doesn't cry. Not even when his father yells at him—blames him—for everything.
No, he doesn't cry when his father says— It's your fault. It's always your fault. It's your fault your mother is dead. It's your fault I lost my job. It's your fault for being so weak. You poor excuse for a son. I wish you were never born. Don't you understand? I hate you. Why don't you just die?
And out of all the things that Laxus doesn't expect he, especially, doesn't expects this. He doesn't expect his father's hate. He doesn't understand it. He doesn't think he'll ever understand. His father is supposed to always love him. Isn't he?
His father is supposed to tell him that he loves him, that it's not his fault his mother died, that he is a good son and that he is proud of him. His father isn't supposed to say he wished Laxus was never born, he isn't supposed to say that he hates him, and he isn't supposed to tell Laxus to just die.
He doesn't think about it too much, though.
When he goes to school the next day his teacher takes him aside to ask why he has so many bruises—they are deep, dark, angry purple and mar his skin. Laxus panics. He is sure his father won't hit him again. It's not worth getting him in trouble for. His father won't hit him again.
"I fell while...riding my bike." It's a lie—the first of many.
He hopes that his teacher doesn't find out that he doesn't actually own a bike. His teacher touches his shoulder (he suppresses a wince) and smiles tightly at him. He breathes easy when she leaves. His father got angry when people pried into their lives.
As soon as he gets home his father is waiting for him. He grabs Laxus' arm to pull him into the house and out of sight. He lets go once their inside.
"Your teacher called. What did you tell her, you stupid child?" His father grabs the top of Laxus' head, pulling him by his hair, and dragging him to his room.
"N-nothing!" he cries, trying vainly to get out of his father's hold.
"Then why did she call me?! Obviously, you said something and for that you need to be punished!"
"F-father, please, I swear...I swear I didn't say anything! I told her I fell!"
His father throws Laxus into his room, closing the door behind him. Laxus tries to open it but it's locked. His father locked him in his room. He yells for his father to let him out. The only response he gets is that he is to stay in there and think about what he's done. He didn't do anything though. But he stays in his room, for two day. He goes without food and water for two days. Most of the bruises on his face are gone. When his father opens the door, Laxus immediately runs and latches onto his legs in a hug.
"I won't talk to the teacher anymore. I promise," his voice is weak and hoarse.
His father pats him on the head before sending him to school.
And Laxus keeps his promise. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't want to make his father angry or give him more trouble.
Besides, they're fine, everything is fine. His father won't hit him again.
Except, his father does hit him again.
A few weeks later, his father loses another job and his research isn't going well so he drinks and then he hits Laxus. This time though, his father is careful to leave behind bruises Laxus can hide.
The time in between the beatings get shorter and shorter and the beatings get more and more brutal as Laxus gets older. And not once does Laxus try to stop them—he doesn't know he can.
It is only when Laxus turns ten that he fights back. That time—the last and only time—is enough to stop him from ever trying again. His father leaves him with a scar—So you won't forget who's in charge here. So you don't forget that you're weak and I'm strong.
And Laxus doesn't forget it. He is weak and his father is strong. He can't forget. The jagged scar on the right side of his face reminds him every day.
Laxus is weak. Laxus is a coward. Laxus hates himself.
:
He remembers...his father.
Laxus has a great memory, there are a lot of things that he remembers. But Laxus doesn't like to remember. He'd rather not remember. All he has is bad memories.
All he can remember is his father. He doesn't like remembering his father.
He can't help it and he can't forget. Every time he looks at his reflection all he sees is weakness—his scar a constant reminder of his weakness.
Laxus hates weak people...because he's the weakest of them all. And nothing can change that.
A/N: I think I might expand this in the future. There's a lot more to it and I want to explore it. Besides, Laxus character in this AU needs more development... Also, I don't know how in character Laxus/Iwan are because I second-guess myself with characterization...and dialogue (and endings) so...yeah. Thoughts?