For MrB.o.B1990. I hope you like it! :)

I have a feeling that there will be some people who will get huffy about the content of religious themes, so please, let's go back to this site's most simple rule; don't like, don't read.

i.

Chad Dylan Cooper rolled out of bed on the 23rd of December with a scowl on his face. At nineteen years old, Christmas spirit was a thing of the recent past, and excitement at the idea of Santa Claus had worn off at least ten years before.

Chad didn't love Christmas. Chad didn't like Christmas. Chad hated Christmas. For the actor, the Christmas season brought one gift only; time off work, and this year even that had been cut short, as the studio scheduled MackenZie Falls to film right up until the 23rd, and the break ended on the 2nd. Chad wasn't impressed.

His mom had made a special effort with the decorations this year; the tree was professionally decorated, tinsel hung prettily from every available hook and fairy lights twinkled in every room. Under the tree, presents were piled high. Chad didn't like it. On arriving home to see his own room carefully decorated, he promptly dismantled the set up and threw the decorations into the hall and flatly informed his mother that she was to stay out of his room, thank you very much, and had tried not to feel guilty as her face had fallen in dismay. It was just... like an itch. He couldn't stand the thick air of festivity when he didn't feel any of the joy that December 25th was supposed to bring. It felt like a farce, and that was not something he wanted in his room.

(His little sister would have loved it. But that didn't matter now, did it?)

ii.

Work felt like a trial. Judgemental eyes watched as he got angrier and angrier at the Christmas air trying to invade the studios, and eventually snapped at his co-workers to turn the music off, already. Silence reigned as they stared in shock.

"But it's Christmas!" Chastity protested. "Michael Bublé is like, essential, Chad!"

"I don't care, Chas. It's annoying, so turn it off."

The girl glared at him as she obeyed his command. "What's your issue, Cooper?"

He ignored her, and turned to the director. "Are we nearly done? I'm starving."

The director looked at the cast carefully, then sighed. "I suppose I'm not going to get any work out of you lot now, am I? You can go. See you after lunch."

The walk to the cafeteria is awkward, as his cast-mates lag behind so they can whisper without him hearing. He presumes it's about him, and tries not to care.

No one understands. To him, Christmas doesn't bring good memories.

It brings bad memories.

iii.

He lasts five minutes in proximity of Sonny Munroe, who has apparently got Christmas spirit in buckets, as she skips around handing out candy canes to everyone she sees, wishing them a 'Merry Christmas!', singing something about shepherds and generally adopting the personality of Buddy the elf. Seriously, she has a hat and everything.

Chad can't stand it, and out of respect for their past relationship, he tries hard to avoid his ex and keep his mouth shut. It takes five minutes, and then he attempts to actually run out of the room. The thing is, Sonny doesn't seem to care that he's being awesomely mature, and bounces over to him, smiling hugely and waving a candy cane in his direction, effectively blocking him from escaping. As well as getting her Christmas spirit in his personal space (which, rude, he didn't ask for her to do that.) he thinks it's a little unfair for her to smile at him like that after turning down his attempts to win her back so many times, and with less and less patience each time. It had been months since he'd tried, but still. It's not like they were awesome buds.

She comes over anyway. He folds his arms and doesn't say anything as she continues to shake candy in his face.

Finally, she takes the hint. "Aren't you going to take the candy cane?"

"Does it look like I want the candy cane?" He puts on his most empty expression, and she squirms uncomfortably.

"Um... No? You look kind of mad, actually, which is why I came over. I thought it might cheer you up." She definitely isn't smiling any more, but she's still hopefully holding the candy towards him/

"It didn't work."

"I can see that." She drops the candy cane back in the bucket. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think there's something wrong?" He asks, avoiding her eyes, because months have gone by but there's still a little part of him that wants to throw him at her feet and beg for forgiveness, still whipped and wanting to give her anything she asks for.

"Chad, you seriously look like someone's rained all over your parade, and you're not taking the candy. You love candy."

"Maybe I'm just not in the mood for candy."

"Yeah, right. Come on, what's up?"

"How's that any of your business?"

"It's Christmas, a season of joy. Everyone should be happy on Christmas. Even you." She insists, pouting a little.

"Oh, thanks." He says sarcastically, and he's seriously losing his patience here. She dumped him months ago, so it's none of her business. Why won't she leave him alone?! "It's nothing, Munroe. Go away."

"No! It's Christmas, and I'm spreading joy. I'm not going 'til you tell me what's up." She stands in front of him with her hands pressed to her hips and stares at him, and he remembers this pose from when they were dating. It meant she actually wasn't giving up. Darn it.

Chad was tired, and he wanted to go home, and he didn't want to have to deal with his ex-girlfriend stalking him until he screamed at her, so he gave in. Darn her.

"I just don't like Christmas, okay? At all. Now go away and stop trying to get your joy on me, because it's irritating." And even as he says it, he can see her fill up with indignation and he realises he's not even close to getting away from her, which kind of sucks.

"You don't like Christmas?!" She half-yells it at him, and people passing pause to stare at them. She's puffed up in shock.

"No, Sonny, I don't. Okay?"

"No, it's not OKAY! What is wrong with you? Are you Scrooge? Are you actually Scrooge?"

"Sonny, stop-"

"NO. Tell me why you hate Christmas, Pooper McGrinch."

"Sonny, leave it-"

"No!"

"I mean it-"

"No."

"I really don't want to-"

"Don't care. Tell me, what blackens your soul so much that you hate Christmas?!"

"Fine! Fine, I'll tell you." Chad just wants her to stop, okay? He wants her to leave him alone and stop staring at him with the eyes that used to make his heart beat faster. Heck, eyes that still do make his heart beat faster. He doesn't want to see her looking at him like he is wrong, like he's personally offending him. Since he's stopped trying to get back together with her, he's been trying to avoid her altogether, because he's still not over her, and it hurts for her to look at him like that. He just... wants her to stop.

And yeah, for a second she just... beams at him. And it lights him up on the inside, even though it shouldn't.

"But not here," he adds, as she starts to look expectant. "Come to my dressing room, and I'll tell you." She starts to shake her head but he snaps at her, "Do you want to hear the story or not?!" And she goes.

iv.

"My dad left on Christmas Eve," He tells her, staring straight at the wall and shaking her off when she gasps and tries to lay a hand on his arm. "And he took my little sister with him. And him, I really don't care about him, but she's my little sister and I miss her."

"Oh, Chad..."

"Don't, Sonny. And... You know what? It's not even that, not really. That, it's not really about Christmas itself. I liked Christmas Day even after that, because that was years ago, years and years and years." He pauses, takes a deep breath, and tries to pretend she isn't even there, like he's talking to the air, because he hates this, he hates feeling so pathetic. He doesn't want her sympathy. "Everyone gets so excited for Christmas, for presents and Santa and fancy food, and I... I just... don't care. I don't get excited. I don't feel any different. I know how I should feel, I know what I used to feel, but now I just... don't, y'know. Presents and turkey? I mean, what is there to get excited about? And I feel like a freak, because there's nothing there for me. Everyone's basically losing their minds, and I'm just sitting here, not giving a damn and it's weird, you know?"

They sit in silence when he's done, and he's grateful when she doesn't try to touch him again. He hadn't expected her to respect that, because she's a physical, caring person. She needs to hug, to pat people, to console them, but he doesn't need that, doesn't want that, not unless she wants him back, and he knows she doesn't. She's just sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong.

And yet, he feels... better, a little. He doesn't feel whole now, not by far, but just a little lighter, 'cause he isn't holding that in any more.

And then she says, "Chad, Chad, don't you know the true meaning of Christmas?" and that gets his attention, because up until now he hadn't realised there was apparently anything more to Christmas than presents and food.

v.

"What do you think it is, then?" Chad asks her, part curious and part wary.

"It's... Have you ever gone to church, Chad?" Sonny asks and he turns to stare at her for the first time since they sat down.

He scowls at her. "God? Seriously, that's where you're going with this?" Chad doesn't believe in God. He can't really wrap his head around the concept of something bigger, someone in control of him. He is in control of him, thank you very much. His family's never been particularly religious.

She winces a little, but nods. "God is in the centre of the Christmas story, Chad! Do you know the Christmas story?"

He shakes his head, because any mention of God usually had him tuning out. He thought he remembered something about a baby, but that was about it.

"Do you... want to hear it?" She asks, and she looks so hesitant. That's not a Sonny Munroe he's used to, he thinks, so he nods. She brightens immediately. He wonders how they managed to go out for six months, and have no idea of each other's religious beliefs. Apparently Sonny was religious, and the fact that he'd never known that gave him a strange feeling in his gut. "Thousands of years ago, there was a woman called Mary," She began, smiling softly. "And one day, the angel of the Lord appeared to her..."

He listens as she talks and talks, and deep inside of him, a small spark starts; a spark of curiosity, the need to know more of this world he'd never been close to.

"... and the baby was born in a stable, because Mary and Joseph couldn't find a room in the inn... That baby was God's son, Chad, God as a human baby. That baby goes on to change the course of history, did you know that?" Sonny's eyes are bright, and while he's not sold on the whole idea, he's most definitely curious. Chad didn't know that, but he thinks he's heard all of the story that he can bear to hear for now, and he tells her so. She doesn't stop smiling as he says the last two words, and he finds himself promising her he'll think about the story. "The heart of Christmas is love, Chad. God loved the world, so he sent His son. That's all there is to it; love."

Sonny stands up, goes to leave, and Chad catches her wrist before he can stop himself.

"I promised I'd think about your true meaning of Christmas," he says, "Will you promise to... at least think about giving me another chance?"

Sonny's eyes go wide and she tugs her wrist out of his hand like he's burned her, and he immediately wants to take the words back. They're out there, though, and he feels something in him grow warm as she gives a hesitant little nod.

"I'll think about it." She promises, and it's not a definite chance, but it's also not a no.

And when he goes home that day, he thinks about Sonny... and he thinks about the true meaning of Christmas. And when he gets home, his mother tells him that his sister called, said to wish him a merry Christmas, and for the first time in a long time, he smiles, and says, "Tell her I said Merry Christmas, too."

epilogue

Six months later, Chad goes to church. His sister is there, and it's the first time he's seen her in five years. She's beautiful. He keeps going, and he sees his sister, and he learns a little more about the true meaning of Christmas.

The next year, Sonny kisses Chad under the mistletoe. He thinks about the true meaning of Christmas a lot more.

As he celebrates Christmas Day with his family and his girlfriend, he thinks he understands.