WAAAAAAAAH! WAAAH WAAAAAAH!
I groan loudly, covering my face with my hands and digging my nails into my skin. That's it. I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna blow my fucking brains.
Forget the money, I don't even like kids.
"I JUST WANNA SLEEP!" I scream into a pillow.
The stupid baby pulls my long, red hair again. I snap my head to glare at the baby so fast, I'm amazed I didn't give myself whiplash.
"STOP IT!" I yell.
And of course, this just makes the baby cry louder. Boy, am I a terrible babysitter.
I pick up my phone and call my friend, Momo. "PLEASE HELP ME, MOMO! I NEED HELP, IM SUFFERING AND-AHHHH!"
"Lemme guess you're babysitting? Again." Momo questions. You could almost hear her rolling her eyes. "Whatever, I'll be right over."
Momo was my brunette friend. She's kind of a night person and has a thing for anime.
I then dial Flavia's number, because why not? Everyone should suffer with me.
"Hey Flavia... You know how we're like best friends." I say in a sing-songy voice. "Can you come over here and bring Garret with you? He's like, really good with kids."
"Yeah, and I'd better be getting a cut of your pay." Flavia groaned. "I was sleeping, asshole..."
"It's only midnight~"
"Whatever."
"I love you too, baby."
She hangs up in my face. So at that point, I just had to sit and wait for them to show up.
Flavia has jet black hair that's usually up in a ponytail. It's really short though, so it always looks stupid.
There's a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I yell.
"IT'S HENTAI-CHAN! OPEN UP, YAOI-CHAN!" Flavia yells back.
I laugh and tug the door open, the baby momentarily forgotten. "Hey guys!"
Momo holds up a bag of Takis. "I brought something for you, Yaoi-chan."
I gasp dramatically. "THANK YOU, THANK YOU! ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, YURI-SAMA!"
"I'm glad you like it so much." Momo rolls her eyes and scoffs. "I mean, it's not like I like you or whatever. B-Baka."
There's a pause, then the 3 of them burst into laughter. At that point, my younger brother Garret barges in.
"What's with you guys' nicknames..." He shakes his head slowly.
"What's with your blonde hair?" I snap back the first thing to come to mind.
"What's with your red hair?"
"What's with-"
"Kitsune, where's the baby." Flavia interrupts.
"What?!" I do a double take. "SHIT. NUU, IM SO FUCKING DEAD."
"Language!"
"Aw shit, not again." Momo facepalms. "Really, Kitsune?"
"Shut up and help me look!" I throw a pillow at her. "Why now, of all times, did it have to stop crying?!"
"Don't worry, we'll visit you in jail." Garret teases.
Flavia sighs. "Maybe-"
WAAAAAAH
Faint crying could be heard from the backyard. Kitsune turns on her heel and bolts outside.
We all run out to the backyard, only to see a what seemed like a crack in the... In the universe, I guess.
"Woaah." Garret cooes.
"Totally." Momo agrees.
"This is cool as dicks!" I announce, running at it. "LETS TOUCH IT!"
I put my hand on the crack, but my hand goes right into it,
"KITSUNE!" Flavia grabs free hand.
"What in hells name?" Momo grabs Flavia's hand.
Garret just stares curiously.
"THE TV! IT'S EVILLLLLLLL!" I scream as we all get sucked in.
The word "evil" echoes around us.
"Woah..." Garret's voice echoes.
"What's going on?" Flavia.
"WHERE'S THE BABY!" Me...
"WHO THE FUCK LOSES A BABY!" Momo yells at me.
"Apparently, I do." I mumble.
We all land HARD on the ground, surronded by trees.
"Is it them?"
"They don't seem like it..."
"Are you sure you put it in the right place?"
"Pretty sure."
Voices echo around us, asking a million questions a minute.
"FUCK OFF!" I scream. "I hate being stared at!"
Flavia mutters something.
"Huh?" I stare confused.
She whispers it again.
"Huh? OH! RUuun!" I jolt up and run thorugh the forest, dodging about a million trees!
"What's with all the trees!" Garret yells.
"Where are we?" Momo yells back.
The Narutoverse.
A voice echoes in the back of my mind.
"A CREEPY VOICE IN MY HEAD SAYS WE'RE IN THE NARUTOVERSE!" I announce. "I THINK WE SHOULD TRUST IT!"
We all hide in a cave, my friends staring at me.
"What?" I cross my arms.
"A creepy voice in your head?" Flavia feels my forehead.
"Told you we were in the...?" Momo looks around.
"Narutoverse?" Garret stands up. "You must've fallen on your-"
"IT'S JUST LIKE THE FANFICTIONS! WE GOT SUCKED INTO SOMETHING AND ENDED UP IN THE NARUTOVERSE!" I cheer. "I WANNA MEET THE AKATSUKI!"
"You've lost your mind." Garret huffs.
"I have not!"
"You do realize they'd probably kill us on sight?"
"Well..."
"Yeah, your right. You haven't lost your mind." Flavia pats my head. "You've read waay to many fanfics."
"NO! I'm serious!"
Watch out behind you
I whip around, listening to the voice. Only to see Garret about to throw a handful of mud at me. That little jerk.
"I now trust the voice in my head!" I laugh.
"How come I didn't get one?" Momo pouts.
"Because I'M the special one!" I clap.
"Yeah, the chosen one!" Flavia laughs.
"Nah, i couldn't be the chosen one." I joke. "I'd probably trip and fall in the middle of fighting whoever I'm 'spose to fight!"
"Yeahhh..." My friends and brother agree.
"HEY!"
"Who's in here, un?" A voice echoes through the cave.
It may have been DARK and all, but I used my fangirl senses to sniff out the terrorist blonde!
"EEEEEEE!" I squeal jumping on Deidara's back. "IT'S REALLY HIM! MY WISH IS COMING TRUE!"
You're insane...
Am not!
You're hugging an S-ranked criminal!
I'm not hugging him! I'm GLOMPING him!
"What the fuck, hm?" Deidara protests.
"Please excuse my sister, she's very... friendly." Garret rubs his head tiredly.
"What're you 4 kids doing out here?" Deidara questions.
"We got sucked through a portal! Then in some ripple in time, we landed at the feet of some weirdo's staring at us, so then we ran an hide here!" I explain happily.
"You can explain all that...?" Flavia questions. "But you can't pass a stupid science quiz?"
"SCIENCE IS STUPID!" I hop off of Dei's back. "NARUTOVERSE ROCKS!"
"Yaoi-chan, calm down." Momo holds her hands up.
"Hentai-chan! Yuri-chan's telling me to calm down!" I joke.
"Why do I have to be Yuri-chan?" Momo complains.
"We've been through this, it was the last one left!" Flavia laughs.
"Why aren't you part of this, hm?" Deidara turns to Garret.
"Cause, I'm not a girl." He rolls his eyes. "And also, I'm not fucking insane."
"What's that gotta do with anything?"
"I'm not a hentai fan, not a yuri-fan, not a yaoi fan, and not a FANGIRL." Garret plops down on a rock.
"WELL, FUCK YOU TOO THEN!" I yell, faking offense.
Us three girls start cracking up right then and there.
"Hey blondie, can you tell us where we are?" Momo says between laughs.
"Nope."
"Fine! I'll figure it out myself!" I run deeper into the cave.
~~~(Flavia's P.O.V)~~~
Kitsune runs deeper into the cave, to the point that I couldn't even see her anymore.
Not that I could see her so well when she was over here. It is pretty dark...
"If we're where we think we are..." Momo mutters.
"3... 2... 1..."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kitsune squeals.
"That girl has got some lungs, hm." Deidara starts walking deeper too.
We follow after eagerly.
~~~(Kitsune's P.O.V)~~~
After my very loud squeal, I stop to catch my breath.
"ZOMG! I'M IN THE AKATSUKI BASE!" I cheer. "...AND THERE'S SASORI!"
"Er... Yaoi-chan, hm! Quit screaming before you wake everyone up!" Deidara grabs me before Sasori sees me.
"Hey cool, he calls you Yaoi-chan now!" Flavia points out happily.
"Shut up, hm."
Deidara leads us up a flight of stairs, then turns to stare at me.
I was about to collapse at the top of the stairs.
"Your weak, un." He points out. "We're not even there yet."
"Carry me?" I plead, giving him Bambi eyes.
"No."
"I'll be quiet if you do!"
"No."
"DEIDARA!" I whine. "WHY WON'T-"
He shoves his hand over my mouth and picks me up bridal style.
I try to use my awesome mind powers to send a message to him.
YOU CAN MOVE YOUR HAND NOW!
Like I have any mind powers. Though, I try a lot.
As we're going up the second flight of steps, which was a lot shorter, i start struggling to move his hand away. Why? Because that mouth on his hand was getting a LITTLE to close! If ya know what I mean.
"MM-AAAA-RAAA!" I pull again.
"What, un?"
After another tug I get his hand off my mouth.
"To close. Way to close." I gasp for air.
He drops me on the floor of his bedroom.
"What's your problem, hm?"
"My problem is that I don't want my first kiss done by a hand!" I huff.
"Ahh..." He nods and walks off to another part of the room and plops down on the bed.
"First kiss?" Momo and Flavia chime.
"I thought you already had one!" Momo questions.
"Umm... I lied."
"Your 14 right?" She questions.
"Ahhh... yes?" I shrug. "So?"
"You need to be kissed." Flavia gets to the point.
"I'll get kissed when I get another boy friend, ok!"
"You never had one!" Garret points out.
"AHH! GARRET SHUT UP!"
"I'm out, un." Deidara stands up as I turn to say something to him.
He goes into the bathroom, and the sound of shower water comes on.
There's a moment of silence.
"I DARE you." Garret says. "Any of you."
"Nope, not me! I'm not that big a Dei-fan!" Momo holds her hands up.
"What?" I glance up. "I'm all Akatsuki fangirl and all, but I won't do it alone."
I get a few stares.
"What! Quit staring!" I huff.
"I'll do it with you!" Flavia whispers.
We slap high-fives, then crawl to the bathroom door.
"Perverts." Momo snickers.
I turn the door knob slowly and push the door open some.
I nod to Flavia to peek in.
She takes a look in timidly, then crawls away blushing. THAT just makes me curious. I peek in too, then turn a light shade of pink. I close the door silently, then crawl over to my friends.
"What'd you see?" Momo presses.
"I saw everything." Flavia covers her eyes snickering.
"Meh, I saw some." I pout.
"Your such a pervy fangir-"
Someone starts pounding on the door.
"Deidara! What the fuck are you doing in here?" A voice huffs.
I glance over to Garret and give him pleading eyes.
He sighs quietly, then uses his BEST Deidara impression, "What the fuck do you mean, hm?"
"I heard a bunch of female yells and voices... what're you doing in there?"
"Who is it, hm?" Garret continues.
"..."
I put my ear to the door to hear the voice better.
"Annoying brat." The voice mutters.
"Its Itachi!" I whisper in Garrets ear.
"Go away, Uchiha."
The bathroom door opens, and Deidara flips on the light.
I hiss quietly, "That fucking burns, asshole! Turn off the light!"
"Itachi's at the door..." Momo whispers.
"Fuck off, hm!" Garret continues using Deidara's voice.
Deidara gives him a funny look.
I listen for the foot steps walking away.
"OK, he's gone." I announce.
"You are insane, hm."
"Am not."
"HIDE AND SEEK!" Flavia announces.
"No. No hide and seek." Deidara instructs.
"Get us some food blondie!" Garret orders.
"And some clothes!" I add, noting the baby barf on my current shirt.
"And something to do!" Momo also adds.
"And some blankets and pillows!" Flavia finishes.
"I can only get you two things on that list, hm." Deidara walks out, leaving us alone.
"Well, I'm in the shower if you need me!" I announce going through Deidara's drawers.
I pull out on of his shirts and some boxers.
"Your just gonna go through his stuff like that?" Garret points out.
"Yup." I walk into the steamy bathroom and turn on the shower after some figuring out.
~~~(Momo's P.O.V)~~~
"So, how long until we all fall in love?" I joke, making a pretend checklist. "I mean, we're already at the Akatsuki base so we are waaaay ahead of schedule."
"Oh shut up, this isn't a fanfiction." Garret grunts.
Deidara comes back in after awhile with some food and a few blankets and pillows.
"Your welcome, hm." He says sarcastically.
"Thanks, Dei!"
"..." He looks around. "Where's the other one?"
"Shower." I answer.
"I thought she didn't have any clothes, un?"
The shower squeaks off, and you could hear Kitsune muttering the words to poker face.
"She found some." Flavia starts playing slide-baby with Garret. "Slide baby one, baby two, baby i love you."
Deidara sighs and sets all the stuff on the ground and goes back to his bed.
"I smell fooood!" Kitsune says in a sing-song voice.
~~~(My P.O.V)~~~
I sit on the ground around the food.
"It actually fits on you?" Garret asks.
"Eh, So-so." I shrug taking a piece of chicken.
"Whaddya mean, so-so?" Flavia pulls on the shirt.
"The bottoms fit fine, the top... not so much." I fix the shirt again.
"Its just a little low, that's all." Momo assures.
"Yeah, a little low is a lot to me, in a house full of guys." I huff.
"Greeaaat, a 14 year old girl can fit my clothes, hm." Deidara says sarcastically.
It was now bedtime!
And boy was I tired, i mean, it IS 2 in the morning!
"Heads up, Deidara. Kitsune likes to do things to you while you sleep," Flavia warns.
"I do not!" I protest.
"So try and sleep light." Momo adds.
"They're lying!" I huff.
"Go to sleep, Yaoi-chan." Flavia pats my head.
"Good night, Hentai-chan! Sleep tight, Yuri-chan! Don't let the Zetsu's bite!" I joke.
We laugh quietly.
When everyone's asleep, I tip-toe downstairs and grab a squid from the fish tank. I wander around, peeking into rooms until i find Hidan's room. I'm such a pervy fangirl...
I take the squid and stick it in his pants, then rush out the room. The next room over was Deidara's, so I skip it and go to Kisame's.
Everyone's gonna be pissed in the morning.