Author's Note: Hey paisanos, you're reading a fic by The Slimy One! Now I've always been intrigued by the concept of a Momswap AU, where the Homeworld Gems raised Steven instead of Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst. However, most people just transplant the Homeworld Gems into the Crystal Gem's roles (Jasper instead of Garnet, Peridot instead of Pearl, and Lapis instead of Amethyst) with no changes, and that's kinda lame. I'm of the opinion that there's a lot of interesting concepts to explore since Jasper, Lapis, and Peridot are very, very different from the Crystal Gems. How would they react to certain events from the show? Would there even be a trio of antagonistic Gems? How would they be as surrogate parents? Why would they follow Rose Quartz? How would interactions between them and the townies go down? There are so many cool things to explore... and I hope that I do a competent job at it.
Now a couple of warnings: the first being that events in this story will differ significantly from canon in regards to the personalities of the Diamonds, what Homeworld is like, the kind of events that happen during Steven's growth as a Crystal Gem... I mean, I don't just want to retread old ground from the show, so don't expect stuff like Coach Steven, only with Malachite instead of Sugilite. Also, here's a spoiler warning: the fic in general will borrow upon things that are revealed as the series goes on, so I'm just gonna throw a general series-wide spoiler just to be safe. Now, sit back... and enjoy this Momswap fic.
Prologue: We Are The Crystal Gems!
"Look alive, Shtuball! We're here!"
The five year old Steven Quartz Universe looked up from the little ukulele he was strumming, and went starry-eyed at the sight before him. His father, the overweight and bearded former rock star known as Greg Universe had pulled up to the Crystal Temple, a stone structure built into a cliff on the outskirts of Beach City. It was an enormous statue of his late mother Rose Quartz, and was home to her best friends and sisters-in-arms: The Crystal Gems, who were all waiting at the front of the structure.
And Steven was absolutely excited to meet them: he had only known of them from the stories his dad told as well as the pictures he'd show, but he thought they were just the bee's knees. They were basically superheroes who kept his hometown of Beach City and the surrounding areas safe from all kinds of scary monsters, and they've been doing this for thousands of years! And in honor of the trio, Steven had spent the week trying to come up with a song for them on the ukulele that Greg had given him: a neat little ditty that he hoped the Crystal Gems would get a kick out of and maybe even turn into their official theme song! Provided, of course, that they didn't already have one.
"Well sport, what do ya say? Are you ready to meet the Crystal Gems?" Greg asked as he parked the van and unbuckled his seatbelt. Steven nodded enthusiastically and followed suit. After opening the door, the jumped down onto the soft, sandy ground and ran to his father's side. "Oh man, looks like I didn't even need to ask!" Greg gave a lighthearted chuckle as he and his son made their way to the Gems. Their leader, a towering muscular brute named Jasper, whose Gemstone was located in place of where a nose should be. While she strode over to the group, Steven was amazed by her form. Her predatory eyes, her orange skin, the thick red stripes that decorated said skin, her bushy mane of thick long hair, the heroic way she carried herself... it was like he was looking at a tiger in human form. And it wasn't just her appearance that was tiger-like, but her manner of speaking as well.
"Afternoon, Greg," Jasper growled in a raspy, guttural voice before turning down to Steven. His eyes went starry the second Jasper's powerful gaze fell upon him, and her full lips shifted from a neutral expression to a small smile. "And you must be the one they call Steven! I'm Jasper, de facto leader of the Crystal Gems! Nice to meet you, kid." Jasper stretched out a muscular bicep, which caused Steven's mouth to fall wide open. Jasper, the biggest and strongest of the Crystal Gems wanted to shake his hand! His hand! Steven was at a loss for words. Should he shake her hand?! What if his grip wasn't good enough, and she wrote him off because of it?! Would he really lose his standing with the Gems if he messed up a handshake?! Not really sure what to do, Steven gave a panicked yelp and jumped behind his dad's leg, where he peeked out at the towering brute.
"Aw, Steven!" Greg chuckled as he reached down and put a hand on the nervous boy's shoulder. "Don't you want to say hi to Jasper? She and her friends really wanna meet you!"
To Steven's relief however, Jasper didn't seem offended. In fact, she gave a hearty, raspy chuckle as she shook her head. "Who would have known that Rose's kid would be such a shy little thing?" She then turned to Steven and beckoned him over. "Come on, kid! I won't bite, Quartz's honor!"
"Oh Jasper, would you stop?" The green, triangular-haired Gem known as Peridot snarled in a nasally voice as she stepped over to her leader's side, "I told you that it would be best if I were the first to greet Steven! But no, you had to intimidate the poor child right off the bat! He doesn't need some scary brute leering down at him as his first exposure to the Crystal Gems!" With a disgusted snarl, Peridot soon changed her tune as she gave a rather smug, self-confident smile to Steven, who was intrigued by her oddly shaped feet and strange, floating fingers. "Hello, Steven! I'm Peridot, the greatest Crystal Gem of the bunch. Unlike a certain smelly brute, I consider myself to be a very kind and understanding maternal figure!"
Steven gave a shy smile and waved at Peridot, who cackled like a giddy schoolgirl as she pointed at Steven with a disembodied finger, "See?! SEE?! HE isn't scared of me!" Peridot boasted, which elicited a groan and eye-roll from Jasper. "In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if I was his favorite Gem! HEY, STEVEN!" Steven's smile was replaced with a worried frown as Peridot approached his hiding spot behind Greg's leg and leered down at him. "Who would you consider to be your favorite Gem?! It's me, right? Right?!"
"Uh... uh...!" Not liking the fact that he was put on the spot like that, Steven averted his gaze to the ground and twiddled with his thumbs while Peridot waited for her answer. Truth be told, he thought they were all pretty cool... but would Peridot accept that? He could just lie and say that he liked her the most... but what if that hurt the other Gems' feelings?
"Alright, Peridot? Back off." Peridot gave a cry of annoyed surprise when she was shoved out of the way. Intrigued by the new voice, which was far more gentle and soft than the previous Gem's, the new speaker sat down on the ground and faced Steven at eye level. She was Lapis Lazuli, the third Crystal Gem, who was rather pretty: out of all the Gems she looked the most like a regular human, only with blue skin and hair that was a darker shade. She was rather waifish and thin, and unlike Jasper who favored a set of what appeared to be orange leather armor, or Peridot who was dressed in a jumpsuit, Lapis wore a midriff-baring dress as if she were like the many human beachgoers Steven saw on a daily basis. This odd feeling of familiarity put Steven at ease while Lapis gave a gentle chuckle.
"Aw, hey there! You're Steven, right?" His cheeks a bright red, Steven gave her a curt nod while he let go of his dad's leg and hugged his ukulele close. "Well hi there, Steven! I'm Lapis Lazuli! We've heard so much about you from your dad, and I'm glad to meet you!" Steven smiled, but continued staring at the floor, not opening his mouth out of fear of saying something stupid. Lapis gave another gentle giggle while she ruffled his curly hair. "Hey, I can't help but notice that cool little instrument you've got there. Do you like to play music?" Steven nodded while Greg ruffled his hair this time.
"Yep! Just like his old man!" Greg chuckled, "In fact, he wanted to play a song for you guys!" When Greg pointed that out, Steven gasped, blushed, and stared at the ground.
"A song, huh?" Jasper stated with a dry chuckle, "That's Rose's kid, alright."
"I can't imagine that it would sound good, though." Peridot stated with the bluntness of a sledgehammer, causing Jasper to grab her by the shoulders.
"Watch your tongue, Peridot!" Jasper snarled while shaking the smaller Gem, "That's Rose's kid you're talking about, so show some respect! Maintain discipline!"
"I'm just saying, Jasper! He's only a child!" Peridot argued as she broke free from the brute's grasp and got her floating fingers to connect. Interlocked, they formed a holographic green screen that showed a mess of words that were too big for Steven to understand, as well as an image of a child. "He hasn't had the time, the experience, nor the training to adequately play an instrument!"
"You aren't helping, Peridot. Shut up." Jasper growled while Peridot swallowed down a big, nervous lump. She put away the screen and stepped back, her cheeks a dark green. Steven felt deeply uncomfortable watching the heroes bicker, and thankfully Lapis seemed to notice. She smiled and cleared her throat.
"Anyway you guys, Steven has a song he wants to play for us! So how about we sit down, shut up, and listen?" She then turned to Steven and giggled, "Come on, Steven! It'll be great!"
"Well, I'm pretty curious as to what kind of song he's going to play." Jasper stated as she and Peridot approached Steven. She plopped down on the ground while Peridot neatly sat down. "So come on, kid! Show us what you've got!"
"Even if it's bad, you still have my full support!" Peridot stated before getting slammed with a powerful elbow, courtesy of Jasper. "GAH! Watch it, you clod!"
"Whoa, Peridot! Watch the language!" Greg scolded as he sat next to Steven. "Anyway Shtuball, you ready to rock their socks off?"
It was certainly different, having to play for a crowd as opposed to just a supportive dad and maybe his pal Vidalia at most. Steven was ready to give the strings a strum, but his fingers trembled. What if he botched the song? What if they laughed at him? He bit down on his bottom lip in his hesitation, and once again Lapis was quick to catch on.
"Hey, Steven! You want to see something cool?" Lapis asked, to which Steven nodded. "Alright then, watch this!" Lapis reached towards the beach, and clenched a hand. With a gasp, Steven stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed as a ball of water left the salty sea and floated towards the band of Gems and humans. Lapis cupped her hands and let the ball of water settle in her grip. She then took a deep breath, and all of a sudden a tiny little whale made entirely out of water jumped out of the ball and began swimming circles in the ball.
"WHOA! That's so cool!" Steven gasped in a high and squeaky voice while he marveled at the tiny whale. Lapis smiled, same with the whale who went as far as to wave a flipper at him.
"My whale buddy thinks you're pretty cool too, Steven!" Lapis said while the water whale nodded, "In fact, you're so cool, he wants to give you some fin! So come on, give him five!" The tiny whale held up a fin, which caused Steven to smile.
"Gimme five, tiny whale!" Steven laughed as he stretched out a palm and let the whale smack it with a fin.
"You see, Steven? If you're cool enough for a tiny whale to give you some fin, I bet you're cool enough to... what was it, Greg?"
"Rock our socks off!"
"Yeah, you'll rock our socks off! Come on, Steven!"
His spirits high after the tiny whale's high five, Steven looked at the Gems and his dad, who were all smiling at him. Without a hint of blush in his cheeks, Steven took a deep breath, gave the ukulele a preliminary strum, and let his fingers and his voice take control as if his brain were on autopilot.
If you're evil and you're on the rise
You can count on the four of us taking you down!
Because we're good and evil never beats us!
We'll win the fight and go out for pizzas!
We are the Crystal Gems!
We'll always save the day!
And if you think we can't
We'll always find a way!
That's why the people of this world believe in
Jasper, Peridot, Lapis, AND STEVEN!
With the final ukulele strum, the Gems and Greg clapped and cheered, with the exception of Peridot. Since her hands didn't allow clapping, she simply gave a fist pump.
"WOW!" Peridot exclaimed with genuine joy in her voice, "That was actually good!"
"Great job, kid! Rose would be proud!" Jasper boomed.
"Seriously Steven, that was a great song!" Lapis cheered before giggling, "But I couldn't help but notice a little something about those lyrics..."
Knowing what Lapis was referring to, Steven blushed and looked down. It was self-indulgent, sure. But he couldn't help but insert himself in the lyrics. He knew it was never going to happen... but the thought of being a Crystal Gem was so cool! The thought of him helping these three with their missions was a recurring fantasy of his, and the subject of a number of good dreams as well.
"Trust me, it didn't escape my notice." Jasper gave a chuckle, and smiled at Steven while she got up from the ground and dusted sand off her rear. "Well if you're already writing songs where you tag along with us... then I bet you'll like this bit of news. Greg, you want to fill him in?"
"Oh yeah, sure!" Greg chuckled, though Steven was a bit perplexed by the fact that his tone took on a slightly somber edge. "Hey Shtuball, I haven't told you this yet 'cause I wanted it to be a surprise, but in the near future you're gonna be living with the Crystal Gems."
Steven went starry-eyed at the sound of this. Was this a dream?! Was this just a fantasy?! After all the time Steven spent listening to Greg's stories about the Crystal Gems... "I-I-I'm living with the Crystal Gems?!"
"Damn straight!" Jasper noted while Greg and Peridot gave a horrified shriek in unison.
"Language, Jasper! LANGUAGE!" they both cried out while Jasper smirked.
"You see Steven, you aren't like other humans. You're part Gem, part Rose Quartz specifically." Jasper stated as she lifted Steven's shirt a bit with one of her sausage-like fingers. Attached where a belly button should be was a pink, round Rose Quartz stone. He knew that it was his mom's Gem, and that it was almost like a memento from her before she passed on. However, he didn't really think there was anything special about it, a preconception that seemed like it was subject to change.
"Now, Steven," Peridot piped up after the shock of Jasper's swearing wore off, "Due to your hybrid status, it's unknown how in tune to your Gem side you are. You're the first of your kind, as this is the first time a Gem ever produced her own offspring. But the fact that your mother's stone is connected to you, we believe that it's safe to assume that you have Gem powers laying dormant inside of you!"
"Like shapeshifting!" Lapis chuckled. She tensed up, and suddenly her body was swallowed up in a bright light. When the light subsided, Steven was shocked to see that Lapis transformed entirely from her original form to a small blue Steven, only with her shirt displaying the Crystal Gem's large four-point star logo instead of the fat five-sided star on Steven's shirt.
"WHOA!" Steven gasped in amazement while Peridot frowned. With a smirk, the Lapis!Steven reverted back into the normal Lapis Lazuli.
"Us Gems can summon weapons as well!" Jasper laughed as a light shined from her nose Gem. With a flash of light, a thick orange helmet shaped like a pompadour was atop her head. "It probably won't be a helmet, but I bet that you have a weapon of your own tucked away deep in that Gem of yours!" Jasper gave a hearty chuckle while Peridot sulked.
"I've got a weapon too?! COOL!" Steven laughed while he lifted his shirt up and started slapping his Gem. "Come on, I wanna see my weapon! I wanna see!"
"STEVEN, NO!" Peridot shrieked as she fired her fingers, which restrained Steven's hand, "Under no circumstances whatsoever are you to use physical force on your Gemstone! Understand?!"
Taken aback, Steven swallowed down a nervous lump as a frenzied Peridot stared down at him like a maniac, her eyes twitchy and wide. "O-OK." Steven lowered his hand and frowned.
"A-anyway," Peridot sighed after she allowed the initial shock to wear off, "From what Greg has told us, you haven't shown any signs of magical powers like your mother. While there is a chance that this means that you lack powers, you could also very well have them! Due to your human nature, it's likely that they will manifest as you grow. And that's why until you become eighteen, your father has allowed you to live with us at the Crystal Temple, so we can monitor your growth and help you hone your powers. Provided, of course, that you have them."
Steven looked at Greg, who surprisingly looked quite down for such a cool occasion. He noticed Steven's look of concern, and cleared his throat, quickly changing to a half-hearted smile. "But you're not living with them right away, so you can still spend lots of time with your dear old dad!" He gave a nervous laugh after this, and continued, "But over the next year or so, the Gems and I are gonna build you an extension of the temple that you can live in! A nice house with a TV, a kitchen, a couch, a bed, you name it!"
"That's so cool, dad!" Steven said, his eyes starry and bright before going back to normal. "But... are you gonna live there too?"
"Ah... well..." Greg's tone went back to sad and hesitant. "Well... no. It's... well..." He gave a nervous glance towards the Gems. When Steven followed suit, he was surprised to see that no goodwill was in their eyes. All three, even the friendly Lapis were giving Greg the stinkeye. Steven had no idea why they'd look so angry at his dad, but before he could ask Greg piped back up. "You see Steven, I'm just a human! An ordinary, squishy guy with no magic powers! Being around Gem stuff can get... kinda dangerous for a guy like me. I talked it over with the Gems, and it's probably best that I keep my distance." He gave the Gems an awkward glance before looking back at Steven. "But don't worry kiddo, you'll still get to hang out with your old man! You can see me every week or so at the car wash! I'll be there, living in my van."
While it was disappointing to know that Greg couldn't live with Steven anymore, he was at least relieved to know that he could still visit him, which to a naive child like him was enough to quash any feelings of doubt in his mind. So when Jasper turned down and asked "So kid, any objections?" He could give an easy "Nope!"
"Well that's good to hear!" Jasper cackled while giving Steven a friendly pat on the back. "Well then, I see no reason to keep you waiting! I trust you have the tools needed, Greg?"
"Yeah, they're in my van! And I assume you guys have wood?"
Lapis sniggered, which confused Steven. The glares of annoyance that Jasper and Peridot shot her way were even more confusing.
"Yes, we do." Jasper growled while Lapis settled down and smiled smugly. "ANYWAY, I see no reason to stand on ceremony: we have a house to build! So Greg, Peridot, you two better get moving! If we work fast enough, we'll have it ready in HALF a year! Now move it! GO GO GO GO GO!" Greg and Peridot scrambled to the back of the van, threw the doors open, and each grabbed a few tools. While they ran over to the Temple, Jasper turned to Lapis. "Since we all know you'll just goof off anyway, you're exempt from house duty, Lapis."
"YES!" Lapis cheered with a fist pump.
"Instead, you can keep an eye on Steven and keep him entertained while we work."
"I can get behind that." Lapis stated with a grin.
"Good, now get to work!" With a final snarl, Jasper lumbered over to the temple while Steven stared at it in awe. To think that in around a year's time, he'd be living with the Gems. And maybe... just maybe, even go on missions with them! But before he could lose himself to his usual Crystal Gem daydreams, he was caught off-guard by Lapis tapping him on the shoulder.
"Hey, Steven! Watch this!" Lapis then cleared her throat and bellowed "HEY JASPER!"
Hearing her name, the bulky orange Gem turned around. "Make it snappy Lapis, I have work to do!"
Lapis didn't say anything... instead, her response was to raise a hand to her mouth and blow into it, creating an obnoxiously loud fart noise that rang through the air. Caught completely off guard, Steven descended into hysterics while Lapis' fart noise trailed on an on. Jasper however was far less amused.
"..grow up." After giving Lapis an unimpressed glare, she turned and stomped off, only for Lapis to let loose another fart noise.
"Steven, come on!" Lapis hissed after cutting her current noise short, "Do it with me!"
A mischievous grin on his face, Steven raised a hand, took a deep breath, and joined in with the blowing. Jasper jumped and noticed to her horror that Lapis' behavior rubbed off on Steven.
"LAPIS!"
Steven and Lapis both laughed at the irate Gem who continued stomping away, both taking turns hurling fart noises her way. Even after she stepped out of sight Steven continued the fart noises, with Lapis absolutely happy that she found an apprentice to pass her craft to. She was liking this kid already.
XxX
(Author's Note: PHEW. That was a long chapter! In general, my chapters tend to be on the longer side of things, so just a heads up for those who want to continue following. But honestly, I really hope you guys enjoyed what I wrote so far! More than anything I'm worried that no one felt in character. While I wanted to capture everyone's main traits, I wanted to change them a bit so they'd feel more heroic, mainly with Jasper. She's a gruff asshole in canon, so I hope that while nicer, she still felt believable. I also hope that Lapis felt in character, she's really hard for me to write since even in-canon, her personality seems to dramatically change depending on the episode. In general, I wanted her to come off as sort of like Garnet and Amethyst in a way: doesn't really gel well with the others but is sweet to Steven, and is a bit of a prankster. She'll definitely have more Lapis-like traits down the road... But anyway, that'll be it. Don't expect updates to be super frequent, though I promise to give warning if I do as the show does and go on hiatus. :p)
(And a few notes: I decided that in this AU, the Crystal Temple does NOT resemble the unnamed assumed Temple fusion, but Rose Quartz. There's a reason that will be made clear as the story goes on. ;) Also, I'm going to promise that swearing will NOT be a frequent thing either as I want it to feel as close to the show's spirit as possible. The only people who would swear on the rare times it happens are the ones who would pull it off, like Jasper.)