[PLEASE NOTE: THE FANFIC YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ WAS MADE FOR THE SAKE OF COMEDY. THREE OF US CAME TOGETHER TO MAKE THE MOST RIDICULOUS SOUNDING STORY EVER. IF WE'VE OFFENDED ANYONE IN ANYWAY THAT WAS NOT OUR INTENTION. THE PEOPLE IN THIS STORY ARE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE HOWEVER THESE ARE NOT OUR REAL THOUGHTS, WE APPRECIATE THEIR YOUTUBE CONTENT AND OTHER ENDEVERS AND WE INTEND TO NOT OFFEND. ALL APOLOGIES IN ADVANCED, PLEASE ENJOY OUR STUPIDITY AND HAVE A GREAT DAY.]
But without further ado...here it is...we regret our lives.
The Brit-Tubers
It was a normal day in British. Luke Cutforth (AKA LukeIsNotSexy) was busy thinking at his table. His tea pot started making that high pitched sound tea makes sometimes so he went to the oven to pull it out.
"Ah yes, the tea is now nice and ALSO hot!" Exclaimed Luke, taking the pot out of the oven, setting it next to his tea cups as they usually go with the pots you know. Suddenly , the door bell rang. Luke walked to go answer the door. It was Patty Walters of As It Is! "Patty!" exclaimed Luke, "I thought you were on tour for your new album 'OKAY available for pre-orders/out now depending what date you are reading this'!"
"I was," started Patty, entering Lukes house area, "but I am on the break now, & came to talk to you about, well.." Patty stopped, wondering how to phrase this.
"Spit it out Patty, what is it?" said Luke.
"Well, we heard you're internet love song, the band and I were wondering if you could open for us on tour?" asked Patty. Luke gasped, SURELY this was jest...was it?
"You're kidding." said Luke
"I am not." said Patty, "We believe you could get the crowed going before we go on stage? Either with music or comedy it'll be good either way. We're looking to try something different." explained Patty. Luke put his hands on top of his face.
"Oh Pat-tee!" said Luke "I would love 2!" Patty smiled.
MEANWHILE on the table with the tea cups (see? They became relevant) a very tiny Emma Blackery & Nanalew poked their heads out of the tea cup! Whhaaaaaaatt you may ask? Well stop asking questions & keep reading!
"Ok Emma, are you ready?" asked Nanalew.
"What was the plan again and WHY are we shrunk down to the size we can hide in these cups without being noticed cause, I re-iterate, we are TEENY?!" asked Emma calmly.
"SIGH Emma, I'll go through it again," sighed Nanalew, who was not British but still in British for some reasonidunno... "Luke's got that embarrassing photo of me from that new years party last year! He texted me saying he found it on his camera but 'don't worry, I'll keep it safe'."
"and?" asked Emma.
"Well, I need you to lower me into his pocket so I can get the key to his room," (hence why they have been shrunk down to their tiny size using TomSka's shrink machine) "& then we can delete the photo!" said Nanalew
"Why didn't you just ask him to delete it?" asked Emma.
"Well, this is a sure-fire way to make sure it's really gone!" explained Nanalew
"Oh, ok. Makes sense." said Emma, accepting all this weirdness. "Let's get goin." she said raddly. Luke was now standing by the table so they got out of the cup and crept their way towards Lukes pocket which had the aforementioned key.
Meanwhile, in the big-people-world Patty and Luke we're still speaking words as Luke stood by the table.
"So, Patty, what all does this entail?" said Luke.
"Well, I'm glad you asked, I brought the contract right here!" said Patty, pulling a very long piece of parchment out of his backpack that he had one we forgot to mention. "We just need you to sign here where it says sign."
Suddenly, Dan Howell (that danisnotonfire guy) burst through the door. "Stop! That Patty is an imposter!" exclaimed Dan. "I'm the real Patty!" then Dan tried to remove his face but could not because he was, in fact, not actually Patty.
"Dan, what are you doing?" asked a very confused Mr. Walters.
"I thought I could prank you guys with my new prank show 'Pranks on Fire'" explained Dan. "I was wrong."
"GASP!" gasped Patty, "You know how I feel about prank shows! You bitch!" And then they began having a verbal fight with some very choice words. Meanwhile, with the shrunken YouTubers (Emma and Nanalew in case you forgot) Emma was lowering Nanalew into Lukes pocket carefully. Nanalew used all her strength to pick up the key and try to lift it up. Just then, Luke started to shift. He decided to put his hands in his pockets cause the situation was really awkward. Emma noticed and jumped, startled. She waved down Nanalew to stop and ran back to the tea cup to not be discovered. Nanalew slid back into Lukes pocket & ducked as Lukes hand came down. She ducked as low as she couldn't, what if Luke discovered she had shrunken herself to steal a key to his room and delete a photo? Probably a really uncomfortable social situation, similar to what was going on already with Patty & Dan.
Speaking of which, the verbal fight continued until they both reached a breathing point. As they inhaled to get ready to yell more, Luke spoke up, taking his hands out of his pockets. Nanalew wiped the sweat from her head & sighed with relief.
"You guys, you guys! Let's all calm down." Luke spoke. "I know, let's all have some nice and also hot calming tea. That'll settle our nerves I am sure!" Luke reached over to the tea cup and pot. Emma was already in the cup, laying down to avoid being spotted as Luke picked up the cup and pot, preparing to pour.
Emma looked up curiously as the spout of the tea pot moved over the cup. Suddenly she saw steam coming from the pot. She instinctively started to back her body up but the cup was too steep, she slid down again and had nowhere to go! Emma began to sweat as a single large, steaming hot tea drop emerged from the spout. In a panic, she covered her eyes, not knowing what to do. Peaking through her fingers she noticed the tea drop slowly moving closer towards her exposed stomach, as she was in one of her crop-top show shirts.
Emma shivered as the drop approached and started sucking in her belly to avoid the boiling hot drop. The tea drop bounced slightly and then continued downwards. Emma sucked in her belly as far as she could, trembling with fear and waiting for the hot liquid to burn her skin and be painful. She once again covered her eyes but, as it hovered over her, Dan spoke up.
"Thank you Luke, but no."
Just then, Luke lifted the tea pot and the viciously hot tea drop started to rise. Emma peaked once again through her fingers and watched the drop leave the tea cup. She let her belly rise slowly and cautiously, her heart racing. Luke set the pot and cup back on the table, still standing still by the table conveniently long enough for Nanalew to get the key out and herself too.
"Pattys right, I'm sorry Patty..." started Dan "I just wanted to help Phil run for mayor."
"Well, that's alright." said Patty.
"Also Luke, do you realize Emma and Nanalew went into your pocket and got your room key?" mentioned Dan.
Luke looked down and noticed the two holding the key. They stopped in their tracks. 'Well this is awkward' thought Emma.
After the two grew back to normal size somehow, they explained what was going on.
"Nanalew, you could have just asked me. I think that would have been easier." said Luke.
"Well, I'm sorry for violating your privacy like that." apologized Nanalew.
"That's ok." said Luke, "At least no one got hurt!"
"Speak for yourself I almost died!" spoke up Emma.
"Oh Emma, don't be so dramatic, it wasn't that bad." said Nanalew. Emma almost spoke but decided to let the conversation die. (similar to how she almost did!)
"Well, I'm glad things cleared up." said Patty, "Now I must go tour with Sum 41!" Then he flew out of the window to go fight Zod and save krypton. The other four waved goodbye and then the story ended.
k bye.