Things That Don't Mix Well: Evans and Firewhiskey

T
James P & Lily E
Romance and Humour
Summary: "Did you hear a word I said?" "Were you talking about llamas?" He tilted his head to the side and did his amazing lopsided grin, "Then nope, didn't hear a bean."

Hmm, opinions? I don't know:P R&R please

It started to taste drinkable after your second glass, good after your third and well after you've downed a whole bottle and smashed the empty glass over Potter's head, well then it was the most amazing drink in the world and all I knew was I wanted more.

"Evans? Don't you think you've had enough?"

"No Pottarrr," I swayed as I stood up, "THE WORLD ITS MOVING!" I exclaimed

Potter looked slightly amused as he tipped his head slightly to the side and the corners of his mouth twitched into a cocky but very handsome grin,

"You know you're smoking when you do that," I grinned as he ran a hand through his hair.

"You're drunk Evans,"

"Am not," I smirked, walking in a straight (ish) line to prove it, I reached the armchair he was lounging in and bent down, my lips dangerously close to his ear, "Just ever so slightly tipsy,"

Potter looked up at me as I straightened out, through the thick, black hair that had fallen in his eyes, his right eyebrow raised and his soft looking lips spread in a wide grin.

I moved closer still, sitting on the arm of the chair, leaning back so my face was inches from his and then flicked my long, very flickable, red hair over my shoulder.

I noticed his hands twitch and I smiled but his facial expression remained unchanged, grinning like a fool he said hesitantly,

"You know Evans..." he breathed deeply, "...this..."

I leaned forward, "Yes James?"

"You said J-" his smile broadened then fell from his face altogether, "You're drunk." He stated

I hopped of the sofa mildly annoyed, "And you're no fun,"

I guess though, that I turned too quickly as my head didn't seem to be able to cope and I stepped sideways then tripped over the corner of the sofa landing on my back. Potter was at my side in an instant gently brushing my hair out of my face.

"You smell good James," I bit my lip

"Stop it Li- Evans," he corrected himself just in time, if I was fully with it I would have caught him out on it but in this state I wouldn't have even noticed if he was standing on his head. Damn stupid Marlene and her stupid birthday and her stupid boyfriend and well just my stupid life.

I reached my hand out to touch his hair.

"Stop what James?"

My fingers tangled in his hair as he said, seemingly flustered, "You," he shut his eyes and a low moan escaped his lips

"Yes?" I prompted

"It's just that..." he whispered

"James?"

That did it, he opened his eyes stared straight into mine, "You don't understand,"

"I don't understand what?"

"This isn't just a game to me Lily; I am in love with you. I know we don't get on well most of the time but I don't want to ruin the almost friendship shit we have going at the moment by doing something you are so going to regret tomorrow. I can't help the way I feel but I will never lose hope that one day you will feel the same but I know you don't right now so just don't mess with me okay? Because-"

I cut him off by kissing his collar bone; blimey he was hot when he got worked up or passionate over something.

"Lily,"

"Yes that's my name, well done,"

"Didn't you listen to a word I just said?"

"Were you talking about llamas?"

He tilted his head to the side and did his amazing lopsided grin again.

I tilted my body side wards and moved my face towards his, "Then nope, didn't hear a bean," and then I crashed my lips against his. He slid his hands down to my waist and I rolled over so I was straddling him, my hair tickling his cheeks.

His hands kept a strong grip on my waist as my fingers got lost in his hair, after a few minutes I broke away.

"Lily," he moaned

"My head is full of wrackspurts,"

"What?"

"I feel sick"

"Oh"

We lay there while a few minutes past, breathing in each other's warmth until I leapt up as fast as I could given my drunken state and ran in the direction I remembered the bathroom being in. With my head pounding I remember falling onto my knees and hitting my head on the bath as I fell, then everything went black.

I was floating in the great hall, Marlene threw me a rope which I caught and she, along with Mary started to pull me to the ground. I was just about to touch down when they disappeared, the ground turned to water that seemed to pull me in, first my legs, then my body and then my head. I tried to scream but sounded more like a gurgle and a hint of Dory's whale impression whilst an air bubble escaped from my mouth and slowly rose to the surface. I decided it would be best to follow it as otherwise I would probably drown and that didn't sound too appealing. When I reached the surface I clambered onto a nearby grassy bank and looked around me, in the distance I noticed a castle that was slowly fading and I looked at the ground to realise there was none. My hair was dry and pulled on top of my head in a messy bun, as I blinked I realised I was wearing heavy mascara and possibly even false eyelashes. I was clutching a small purse which I could have sworn I wasn't holding a second ago and had on a tight blue mini dress that just about covered my arse and hugged my curves tightly...

"Huh"

Then an old man floated past on a hovercraft playing the violin. As he did, a blanket appeared on the ground before me and a parasol above that. I walked towards it and sat down suddenly exhausted and then heard a giggle behind me as the engine of the hovercraft cut out and the atmosphere went noticeably quieter bar the screeching of the violin, the old man was clearly deaf.

I turned to see 5... No 6 Marlene's walking towards me, each holding a bottle of firewhiskey, "Lily run," she echoed as each person spoke after the other, "while the beavers sleep."

"NO, you can't make me," I found myself screaming back, "I don't fancy James Potter."

The old man's violin transfigured into a drum set and he started banging away, growing a purple beard as he did, the cymbals crashing together, the noise reverberating in my head. Marlene was now fading and then she disappeared, the only thing left was a single bottle of firewhiskey. I reached out to grab it but felt myself being pulled away,

"No more firewhiskey for you Miss Evans," a familiar voice bellowed

I looked to my left and saw a group of people talking, to my right, the country side flying by, behind me the interior of the Hogwarts Express getting longer and longer. I also noticed as the boy with messy black hair stood, starring unsmilingly into another's eyes as she beamed back but the more I squinted the further away they got and soon were nothing more than a spec in the distance.

"JAMES," I called but he had gone.

"Urrgh, James," I screamed and rolled sideways hitting a wall. My hand reached instinctively for my head and my knees came up to my stomach, I lay there for a while in a little ball hugging myself before opening my eyes and taking in my surroundings.

This definitely wasn't my dorm.

It was too messy.

There was a pile of sheets on the floor surrounded by socks robes and... I'm tempted to say fur but for whoever's dorm's this is sake I will pass them off as dust balls.

I moaned wondering what the hell happened last night when a door on the far side of the room opened and in walked Remus Lupin wearing nothing but a pristine white towel round his middle.

He noticed me staring and smiled, "Hey Lils,"

"Remus...I-" but I was cut off by a butt naked Sirius Black strolling across the room to the door Remus had just come out of,

"BLACK?" I screeched as he slowly did a double take, enough to put anyone off their breakfast

"Hey Evans," he waved still wearing nothing

"Urgh jeez Padfoot cover yourself up," the pile of sheets on the floor moaned and an arm appeared out of the mound and chucked a pillow case at Black

"Sorry Evans," he grinned

I shuddered

Sirius looked offended

"Hey" he whined

"Padfoot, I think what Lily means is seeing you in all your glory just before she is about to face a whole day of lesson is very, what's the word? Unfortunate," Remus spoke slowly

Sirius still looked annoyed but realising that was the best he was going to get sauntered off to what I had deduced to be the bathroom.

My robes were in a neat pile at the bottom of the bed so I grabbed a shoe and chucked it at the mound. It groaned and rolled over.

I threw my other shoe at it. It stuck an arm out and swatted the air where the shoe had been.

Running out of heavy objects to throw I stuck a leg out the bed and kicked it. It screamed and stood up. It was James.

As the sheets fell from his shoulders I noticed he was wearing a pair of baggy PJ bottoms and underwear with a white and blue waistband. He was shirtless. He was tanned. He had quidditch muscles. He was screaming bloody murder at me. I didn't give a shit. James Potter looked melt in the mouth, throw yourself off a cliff then crucio yourself just for good measure amazing.

He stopped screaming. I tried to act casual twirling a piece of hair around my finger and grinning,

"Hey James,"

"Did you hear a word I just said?"

"Well you didn't mention llamas,"

He smiled and my world stopped, then it started and I wished it would fast forward as Peter Pettigrew walked in wearing a blue and white stripy all in one full arm and leg length onsie.

Kill me now.

I hate firewhiskey.

I wrote this ages ago, is it crap? I might edit at a later date but I'm too tired now so sorry for any mistakes goodnight

Paper trays, karma and Russell Brand

Theressomethingaboutthemoon x