Character(s)/Pairing(s): Fem!Cid/male!Shera

Warnings: Genderbending, lots of 'bleeped' cursing (eh, it's Cid).

Summary: AU. Having a baby was rather low on Cidney Highwind's list of priorities, but the tyke was coming anyway. That said, she's, well, herself. Meaning that, despite having a bun in the oven about to come out and greet the world, she can't exactly say she's the motherly type. Thank the #$&£ &$% Goddess, she has a spouse that feels motherly enough for the two of them...

Notes: I... have no excuses. However, after writing that girl!Barret fic (see my profil for link), I was seize by the desire to write a couple more genderbender fics on FFVII, and... This was the results. I may have plans for more, BTW. Also, I just couldn't resist: you'll find some references to previous FF games characters. Will you spot them all? ;)

Not So Motherly

There are times her spouse is really too % &# fuckin' attentive for his own good!

"Cid? Please, put that bottle back done, you know what the doctor said," Sherwin stated gently without even raising his head from his careful preparation of the dinner. "No alcohol allowed until the little one is here. And even longer should you decided to nurse him," he added as an afterthought, though by the small smile dancing on his face, it wasn't an afterthought at all.

"No way in & #$#& hell that I let that thing suck me dry!" Cidney Highwind, or more commonly as 'Captain' or 'Cid' to her crew, coworkers, friends, business relations, perfect unknowns and about everyone in the whole word cursed and glared at the bulge in her abdomen. Pregnant! Her! The &$#% Goddess from Loveless had a very twisted sense of humor, if she was real!

Oh, it wasn't that Cid minded her upcoming maternity so badly, but she hadn't really expected to ever have a brat of her own to raise. She had had project, involving a couple of nice, new airships models she had amorously worked on from the initial sketches to the first working prototypes, eager to finally test them with the WRO's technical teams support, and then, blam! She gets sick one morning, then a whole week, puking her breakfast, lunch and dinner around – right on Rufus Shinra's shoes in one occasion – and suddenly, she gets dragged away to the nearest doctor by her whole crew, and the #£ &$% fucker had given her the news, largely smiling, that she was 'expecting a happy event'.

The silence which had followed had lead the unfortunate man wondering is someone has used a Seal Materia in the room to Silence everyone. Then Cid had… exploded. Swore a blue streak over the fact that, & %#%!, when they fucked, she and her husband, they used these wonderful things called 'condoms', so there was no &#$# !& fuckin' way she was actually pregnant!

To which the doctor had answered that sometimes, condoms did get torn. Cid had tried to calm down. She really did. Still, she cursed the man and his progeny to the seventh generation. Slammed the door on his way out, followed by a couple of her crewmembers who followed her at respectful distance, least she would try and strangle them. Took her PHS out of the pocket, ready to scream at it too…

And with shaking fingers and an unsteady voice, called Sherwin over to tell him the 'wonderful news'.

His spouse had taken it in stride. Hardly anything seemed to faze Sherwin. Calmly, the man had just breathed deeply before asking what Cid wished to do about it.

And Cid… well, she hadn't know what to say on the moment. Dumbfounded, at lost for words, she had let Sherwin talk her into coming back to Rocket Town right away to speak about the future baby.

She wondered sometimes if she shouldn't have refused. Not that she had ever planned on aborting, mind you. She wasn't getting any younger and chances for motherhood would become even sparser year after year and sometimes, well, accidents or sickness could happen and destroy whatever chances at happiness she had –- and she wasn't going to think about those scary, angst and fear-filled moments she had lived through after Sherwin had started developing Geostigma on the back of his hand.

All in one, even a surprise, unplanned pregnancy was well-received, even if she still cursed a lot about it. She was kinda worried, though, because... Well, what was she going to do with that kid once it was born? Sure, she could take the babe with him on the ship and all around the world, but... It held little appeal to her on the long run. And really, wasn't it a big joke, her as a Mom? She was... oh, fuck, she swore, she drunk, she spend her time covered in grease and taking apart motors when she wasn't working on machine plans! $%#&, if anyone should be a Mom, it should have been Tifa! The girl packed a punch for sure, but damn if she wasn't a great motherly figure! Just watch Marlene and that Denzel kid! Cid wasn't like that, and she could only wonder what a child of her would turn to be like with her as a parent.

Thank the &$£% Goddess, there was Sherwin. He had stepped in and said he would take care of everything, from the baby meals to the less appealing tasks, including the dreaded diapers. Cid could only feel grateful for that. Sherwin would be... good for the babe, he supposed. The man felt more... girly than Cidney would ever be. But by talking and agreeing with Sherwin, she had definitely lost the high hand in the matter, because as meek as the engineer had been and still was, the #% &# hell if he wasn't stubborn when he wanted to.

In this case, his spouse had been dead set on Cid stopping her work with the WRO so she could take 'better care of herself' 'til the future brat was born. Now, most women wouldn't have had a problem with that, but Cidney Highwind wasn't most women. She had screeched. She had metallic babies to take care of, and it wasn't going to change because she was going to have a blood and flesh baby as well.

Except, lot of people seemed to think like Sherwin, and Cid had saw almost every & %!# friends she had take the meek scientist side. Eck, Reeve, that # %§&à traitor, had even forced her on a leave when she had told him!

Cid sighed as he watched his bottle of Kalm whisky wistfully. It could have been worse, she knew it. So far they knew, the babe was healthy and should be born in four months, top, then she'd been freer and able to return to her beloved airships. And in the meanwhile, even if she wasn't allowed to fly, fight monsters or do long travels, she could still doodle new airship models. That didn't meant she was happy about it, and she let Sherwin know it at every possible moment.

"That's all your fault, you know."

"Yes, Cid," Sherwin replied dutifully, as he always did.

"I mean, you could have checked that damn #! % condom!"

"Yes, Cid. I'm sorry."

"You always take your sweet time to do about &##% everything, no? For once you don't, it has lead to /%& disaster!"

"Yes, Cid."

"I mean it! Remember what your & % timely repair of the auto-pilot on Shinra N° 26 almost did!"

"Good thing I did in the end, no? Because if I hadn't, you wouldn't have discovered the problem with oxygen tank 8, would you?" Sherwin commented as he minced vegetables.

Cid winced at the rebuttal. Ok, perhaps he shouldn't have mentioned that. Sherwin might be meek, but he could have a pretty sharp tongue when he wanted to. And he really was a master of the use of kitchen appliances as impromptus weapons, or so some said –- there had been tales of a Shinra grunt or two who had ended with boiling tea water threw as their face or 'accidentally' spilled over their genitals, to say nothing of the gruesome tale of a man almost brained by a frying pan. The pilot didn't know if these stories were true or not; after they had left Rocket Town in a hurry in the Tiny Bronco when he had initially joined Cloud and the rest on their crusade to save the world, he had spend weeks away from Rocket Town before coming back. By the time he did, Shinra had long left and Sherwin was alive and in one piece, so who knew what had exactly happened?

Anyway, as the scientist like to say as he pushed his glasses back on his nose, Sherwin could defend himself, thank you very much, even if he had pretty much been a doormat whenever Cid was the one dealing the (verbal) abuse.

Grunting, Cid avoided looking at his wife. "I suppose I shouldn't have said that," he allowed. "But come one! I want some booze!"

"It's not good for the baby, Cid," Sherwin reminded him yet again. "Think about him… or her. By the way, have you settled for a name already?"

Cid snorted. "You know &%#%& goddamn well I didn't! Can't think of any good boy name I'd give a child of mine," she grunted.

Sherwin hummed. "You're so certain it's going to be a boy? Did you use Sense on yourself?" It wasn't uncommon, in many towns, to have a doctor use a Sense Materia on an expecting woman, the medical field having discovered years ago the Materia could help you discern early on if the fetus was a boy or a girl. It certainly was more reliable than old folk's superstitions, though the results weren't always one hundred percent accurate.

"I didn't," Cid grunted. "I just know it's going to be a boy, got it?" she glared at her husband.

"Yes, Cid." The auburn-haired man tilted his head to the side, thoughtful. "Personally, I'd think of a few girls names, just in case." At the same time, the hazel-eyed man found himself thinking that, given Cid's language and manners, perhaps a boy would be better anyway. "Back to boy names. Perhaps we could call him like your grandfather? You told me it tended to be done, in your family, naming after the grandparents."

Cid raised and eyebrow. "What, Cidolphus? No # %&% ways, man. I'm not that cruel!"

Sherwin's lips turned upward briefly. "I see your point. Mmm, what about… Kain?" he proposed.

Cid shrugged. "Not sure I'd want to call him Kain." The blond woman took her chin in her hands, thinking. "… Ricard, perhaps. Or Alexander. I like the names more."

Sherwin chuckled amusedly. "For someone who hasn't settled for a name yet, you sure have some ideas." He raised his arms in surrender as Cid glared at him. "Forget what I say. And for a girl? Just in case," he added. "Personally, I think I like Elina. Freyja is also a nice name, don't you think? Unless you have thought of something else?"

Cid closed her eyes a moment. "… Shera," she mumbled finally, making her spouse blink.

"That's… nice," he commented, not knowing what else to say that wouldn't send Cid on a tirade.

Silence filled the kitchen for a moment as both Cid and Sherwin thought. Finally, Sherwin coughed. "So… how are the new airship's plans progressing?"

"Oh… fine, fine. I finally decided on a name for this one. It's going to be called the 'Tycoon'," Cid smiled proudly.

Sherwin tried not to mumbled something about Cid's inability to decide on a name for her own child when she could find half a dozen in one minute for any of her creations. Instead, taking it in stride, he nodded. "Good name. Did Mr Tuesti give his approval?"

"Yeah, he did," Cid smirked. "Construction is starting as soon as he finish going over these % &# new plans. With any luck, the tyke gonna get his first flight inside it, in mommy's arms." She seemed very proud of that.

"I'll remember to add pilot goggles in baby size to the list when I'll go shopping for more layettes," Sherwin said dryly.

"Might be a good idea," Cid answered, sarcasm going far over her head in that moment. Sherwin just shook her head. The Captain was just too obsessed with flying for her own good. Well, it was too late for her to change. He could only hope their future child wouldn't take too much after her. At the same time, and he was probably thinking a bit too far ahead already, he was a bit worried about the first word of their future child. The way Cid threw curses and swear words around, they'd be lucky if it was a polite or even a cute word like 'mommy' or 'daddy'. There were officially more chances of it being something like '%& #&!'

As far as the scientist knew, someone – whose identity was officially unknown but who the scientist suspected to be a young ninja from Wutai – had 'unofficially' started running a betting pool about it. The auburn-haired man wondered wherever he should join in and place his own bets, or if it would be considered cheating. He'd have to ask.

Sherwin smiled a bit at his wife. "Dinner should be ready in ten minutes. I hope you're hungry."

"I think I could eat a Malboro," the blond said.

"Don't try, I've heard they're toxic," he deadpanned.

Shrugging, Cid patted the pockets of her vest, absentmindedly searching for a lighter and her cigarettes. The gesture didn't escape Sherwin, who watched her from the corner of his eyes while stirring the vegetables mix.

"Cid?"

"Hmmm?"

"No smoking, remember? It isn't good for the baby either."

"%& # &%£' &$/ #§%&#!"

End