I'm so glad to be back and writting for you guys, I've missed all of you and writing stories so much. I wasn't sure where to post this but it seems to be relevant here. Yes I am a Brenda/Sharon Shipper and yes this could possibly become the pairing later. So please no hate or negative comments, if you dont like this pairing simply don't read. I only used the recent episode as a reference point so from here on out it might be slightly AU. I'm also hoping if you guys like what you read that it will become my next multi chapter fic :) And i will apologize now, because I only have a vague idea of where this story is going...

The characters and shows belong to the networks, I'm only playing around I promise.

PS: reviews are love and greatly appreciated, enjoy! :)

Brenda for all intents and purposes believed her self to be an extremely intelligent…a CIA trained interrogator, fluent in the Russian language, and for seven odd years the head of a very successful branch of the LAPD. Well she once was anyway, now she was the lead investigator for the District Attorney's office and beginning to think she wasn't as smart as she'd given herself credit for.

She contemplated her situation as she sat inside her favorite coffee shop just a little ways down from Parker Center. She watched intently as people on the street passed by the shop window, some in a hurry and some content to just stroll along. She was nervous about being spotted here, she knew she should have gone to another place farther down the block but she was a sucker for chocolate croissants in this particular café.

She prided herself in being overly observant, it's a quality that had irked many people throughout her lifetime and had definitely even driven a few away. Its what her instructor at the academy had admired the most and what often got the job done when she worked for the police. It was one of the major factors in her reassignment to the DA's office and what was essentially signing her paychecks that paid for her sparsely furnish apartment. It was this intuition that had lead her to notice Fritz's unease around her after the Phillip Stroh fiasco or his eventual dissolution of marriage request delivered to her via her new office…not even in person.

That had been the one event in her personal life in the last few years that she had been able to see coming, small mercies and all that nonsense. It got to a point where he hadn't been able to reach her anymore, and if she was being completely honest, she wasn't sure that she wanted him to do so. She signed the divorce papers without question or complaint, she knew when something was over and saw no use in prolonging the inevitable. It was a shame really.

The last two years had been a relative hell for Brenda; it wasn't her job although it wasn't quite what she was used to. She felt isolated and despondent, which if she looked at it from an outside perspective, was completely her fault. They had called, left messages, even dropped by on occasion…but you can only avoid people for so long before they eventually get the hint and stop trying to reach you. She didn't want to have to endure their looks of sympathy or even any positive news they might bring, she was just too raw to digest any of it.

Now if that doesn't sound selfish Brenda Leigh, I don't know what does.

But it wasn't all entirely selfish, that was only a small part of it really. She knew that the transition for her team would be hard, painful even, so to alleviate as much of that as she could she had stayed away. She knew they were in good hands and that they would flourish under her care. She also knew that in order for them to see the aloof Captain as less of their enemy and more of their equal that she couldn't be around to influence their decision, they needed time to see her for the person she really was, get to know her as the former Deputy Chief had.

She looked down at her iPhone in the palm of her hand, unconsciously tapping the mail icon, seeing a familiar name at the top. Sharon was the only person who hadn't stopped trying to reach her in some form or another. The emails were sweet and caring at first, then as the weeks turned to months with no answers they became more forceful. Then they became pleading, wanting her to at least acknowledge that she was alive and well. Brenda assumed at some point that Sharon must have asked Andrea or Rios if she was still around and must have been satisfied with the answer because the messages turned from desperate to accepting.

She talked in the correspondences as she would if Brenda had been sitting in front of her, a way it seemed to cope with the 'loss' of her friend. The emails came at the end of every week, normally on Friday late at night or if the team caught a case late Saturday afternoon. They would chronicle what she and the team had gone through over the week as well as what was new with Rusty. This week's case involved a poor innocent girl, barely fifteen, with no name and no way to identify her; another lost soul to add to the list. It seemed that Sharon had also had an unfortunate run in with her soon to be ex-husband, who then decided he needed more information and from Rusty no less.

He asked had asked the boy point blank if she was dating someone, which was news to everyone including Brenda. The blonde scoffed at the thought, sure she knew all about the dinners with Lieutenant Flynn, but she also knew that Sharon would never involve her self with some one she worked with or someone who was under her command. In her various emails she had assured Brenda she had no such feelings, almost trying to convince her self as well as Brenda, and that she valued Andy as a member of her team too much.

After recalling the rest of her week the Captain had ended her letter the same way she always did:

I miss you Brenda Leigh, we all do, and I wish you felt comfortable enough to reach out to us. I can't wait to hear from you, we have a lot of catching up to do and some wine to share.

Always,

Sharon

Brenda blinked back the ashamed tears that sprung to her eyes, she felt horrible about how she had been treating everyone, especially Sharon. None of them deserved to be treated that way…the problem was that she had no idea how to apologize or how to start over, so much damage had already been done. Looking up at the pale yellow ceiling she willed the tears to wait, at least until she was safely ensconced inside her office, ten minutes tops.

She quickly gathered her purse and slung it over her shoulder while she attempted to juggle her white mocha and multiple case files. She silently prayed not to drop anything as she pushed the chair at her table in with her hip, while turning slightly towards the door. A flash of something familiar caught her eye, drawing her to the long line to the order counter and a very familiar back waiting there.

She could recognize Andy Flynn anywhere, the lieutenant had this aura about him, the way he stood exuded confidence and ease, something she'd always envied. He looked dapper in a charcoal grey suit; with what she could make out at the collar was a light blue shirt, the bulge of his badge and gun noticeable under the lapels of his jacket.

She glanced around quickly to see if anyone else from her former division was in the vicinity; when she saw no one she decided that she could still salvage the situation and slip quietly out the front door unnoticed. Although t seemed that the universe had other plans for her this morning. As she turned to continue on her path a young man obviously engrossed in whatever was on the screen of his cell phone smacked square into Brenda. The momentum from the collision sent her hot coffee over her chest and shoulders, her files and papers scattering across the floor.

Brenda let loose an undignified shriek as the hot liquid seeped through her yellow cotton blouse, scorching her skin beneath and staining the skirt across her legs.

"Oh my god," the young man exclaimed, his brown eyes concerned under his shaggy blonde hair, "Are you okay?"

The Blonde quickly looked around, seeing that embarrassingly that all eyes were on her, including two very confused brown eyes that belonged to Andy Flynn. It was then that she noticed another set of eyes just in front of her former Lieutenant, concern evident in their green gaze. She turned back to the young man sharply; she could already feel the telltale blush on her cheeks and yet again the sting of tears at her eyes. He was already scrambling to gather all of her papers into an untidy and no doubt out of order heap.

"Its alright," she whispered quietly, "No harm done."

Her voice was soft and reassuring as the boy rose from his crouch and handed her the files, Brenda tried to smile but it didn't quit reach her eyes. The young man seemed to be speechless, so not wanting to dawdle any longer the Blonde made her getaway.

She patted his arm as she passed, "Thank yew."

It was then that she heard the café begin to come alive again, people quietly started to converse amongst themselves, seeing that the drama was indeed over. Brenda slipped quietly out of the door and took off down the street, her stride quick and desperate. Just when she thought she had gotten away, that perhaps no one had followed her, a sound caught her ears…the loud staccato of heels on the pavement, trying to match her pace.