Okay, everybody! Yes, this is a new fanfiction from the chronic improver, Vherstinae! To start with, I'd like to alienate at least a few thousand of you by telling you that I don't really like Naruto as-is. I find that Kishimoto could have done a lot more with character development, and he seems to unfairly favor certain characters. To cope with my severe disdain for this tragic loss of a fabulous story idea, I have decided to try my own hand at an altered Naruto world.

So strap yourselves in. It's gonna be one hell of a ride!

Chapter 1:

New Beginnings (Or: The Graduate)

"Alright, Naruto," said Iruka Umino, his academy teacher, "open your eyes."

The young blonde looked at his sensei, and instantly noticed the dark-skinned man's lack of a hitai-ite. "Iruka-sensei, what happened to your forehead protector?"

The man smiled, and pointed at Naruto's own forehead. The youth reached up, and his fingers touched cold metal. "Congratulations, Naruto! You graduate!"

Naruto began to sniffle, and leapt onto his teacher, forgetting about the older man's rather grievous wounds. "Iruka-sensei!!!"

The teacher managed to remain on his feet, pushing Naruto back down. "Thanks for the gratitude, but I do need to go get patched up."

"What do we do about him?" asked Naruto, pointing at the battered Mizuki. As if in answer, five ANBU agents appeared from the shadows. "We'll take it from here. Good work, Iruka."

"I didn't do anything. Naruto beat Mizuki single-handedly."

One of the ANBU members stared at Naruto, his eyes burning into the boy even though they were concealed behind a mask. "…I see. That might help explain how one boy got past our best security and stole the Hokage's scroll." Seeing Naruto shift nervously, he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's not your fault, kid. And, frankly, I'm glad you did it. Not only did you help expose a traitor, but you showed a rare talent for stealth…" He trailed off as he actually took notice of Naruto's outfit. "Although how you can be stealthy in bright, traffic-light orange is beyond me."

Naruto nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, yeah, but it's all I can afford."

"Not anymore," Iruka smiled. "You're a ninja now! You can make plenty of money off of missions."

Iruka restating Naruto's graduated status just reinforced the kid's excitement. He leapt into the air, pistoning his fist toward the sky. "Yeah! I'm a ninja!!!"

—TIMESKIP—

The academy was abuzz the next day with rumors of who exposed Mizuki for a traitor and beat his ass into the ground. Of course, Sasuke's fan club was attributing the victory to him. To the last Uchiha's credit, he tried his best to refute the claims, but with negligible success. A particularly loud and rambunctious preteen, Kiba Inuzuka, shouted out that it had to have been some kickass ANBU Black Ops agent who did the work. Several others agreed with him, and they began theorizing who might have been beneath the mask.

All eyes were on Naruto as the number-one most annoying prankster in Konoha barged into the room. "Make some room! I want a seat near the front!"

Kiba snorted. "What, now you can't read? This is a graduates-only meeting!"

Naruto tapped his hitai-ite. "So what's this, moron? I graduated, too!"

"Graduated!? Bahaha! You can't even make one decent clone!"

"Yeah? Well I'm the one who beat Mizuki! That's why I graduated!"

The classroom erupted with laughter, until Iruka held up a hand to silence them. When that didn't work, he screamed at them using a volume normally reserved for shattering rock. "SHUT UP!!!" Regaining his composure and delighting at the immediate silence, Iruka continued. "Naruto really is the guy who beat Mizuki. Seeing him in action, and the fact that he managed to break into the Hokage's office unnoticed, proves that Naruto has what it takes to be a ninja." Seeing one of the class bullies about to speak up, Iruka pointed in his direction and cut him off. "And if anybody tries to contest this, you'll answer directly to the Hokage!"

Naruto took his seat next to Shino Aburame. The young man was quiet, almost eerily so, and Naruto remembered something about his family fighting with bugs, or something like that. But Shino was polite, and one of the few people who treated Naruto like a real person. Perhaps it was because Shino was used to being on the fringe of society as well, so he could relate to Naruto better than most.

Regardless, they went through their usual routine. Naruto sat down with a boisterous hello, and Shino replied with a quiet murmur assumed to be a greeting.

Iruka pulled out a long sheet of paper. "Now then, I'll list off the teams. Team One: still active. Team Two: Kai Sudo, Chake Busuza, and Juro Aike. Team Three: Still active." Since he still hadn't heard his name called, Naruto began to zone out. His peace was broken by a loud squeal. He looked back and saw Sakura ecstatic and Sasuke already in mourning. They must've been placed together. Iruka raised an eyebrow at the reaction. "Hoo-boy… Let me start again, and no shrieking this time. Team Seven: Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Douza Foi." A broad-shouldered boy sighed and placed his head in his hands. He was stuck on a team with depressed elitist and a braindead fangirl…fabulous. "Team Eight: Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka. Team Nine: still active. Team Ten: Ino Yamanaka, Chouji Akimichi, and Shikamaru Nara." Iruka continued to ramble through the teams, and Naruto began to drift back into pseudo-sleep after Sakura's outburst.

He was awakened by a tap on the shoulder. Naruto looked up at Iruka, and then glanced around. "Hey, where's everybody else?"

The older man smiled. "They all got their teams assigned." Before he could continue, Naruto interrupted him with a distressed outburst.

"You mean I don't get a team!?"

"Now did I say that, Naruto?" The boy shook his head in reply. "Then let me continue. Because of your graduation under special circumstances, you made the numbers unbalanced. We couldn't assign you to a team, because it would force the sensei to spread his training too thin. So, the Hokage and I, and several other teachers, finally decided what to do: you're being assigned to an existing genin team, Team Three. They're experienced and already familiar with the basics, so your training won't take anything from theirs. They should be here shortly."

As if they'd been waiting for a cue, four people walked into the room. The first and oldest was obviously the sensei. He was fairly tall, but his two male genin outdistanced him by a fair margin. The man had black hair and blue eyes, and was a rather stocky fellow. His combat vest was scarred from years of use, and his bodysuit was a deep violet. "You Uzumaki?" he grunted. "I'm Yasuo Nagisa. Meet me outside the academy, near the park, in ten minutes." With that, he turned and left.

The tallest genin, a thin, spindly man of about sixteen, sighed. "There he goes again…" He turned his attention to Naruto. "Name's Dasha Ame." In the scant seconds that he had before the elder genin left, Naruto got a good look at him. Dasha was indeed tall, very tall. His dark-red hair was cut short, and laid shaggily around his head. His green eyes seemed very…calculating. He wore a dark t-shirt and olive drab, camouflage cargo pants. Over his shirt he had a thick leather jacket, presumably to soften blows. He wore the fingerless gloves of a chuunin or jounin, and seemed to carry very few weapons.

The second man, just a shade shorter than Dasha, nodded toward Naruto. "Shigeru Iwa." This guy looked like a no-nonsense mofo. He was insanely broad and heavily muscled, and wore a skin-tight black tee and gray cargos. His gloves were thick, and looked to be reinforced in all the right places to protect his fist when he punched. His black hair was in an exceedingly short crew-cut, and dark-brown eyes regarded the younger genin with base indifference.

Holding Shigeru's hand was the third member of their team, a lovely young woman with long, flaxen brown hair. Her arms and legs were wrapped in bandages for reasons currently unidentified. Blue eyes were sharp and alert, and she carried herself with a graceful stride. "And I'm Akane Hozuka."

The trio quickly followed their sensei, leaving Naruto bewildered. He turned to Iruka, and said the only thing that came to his mind.

"…What just happened?"

AN: So, like it? Loathe it? Comments or criticisms? Drop me a review and let me know!