A Thief in the Pawnshop

by Rumbelle For The Win

Once upon a time, Mr. Gold's pawnshop was robbed, and in Gold's struggle to apprehend the thief got Bae, Henry, Regina, and Robin involved . . .can they stop the heist? (rated M due to language)

THIS WAS WRITTEN BY SEVERAL OF US GOOFING AROUND. WE HOPE YOU ENJOY READING IT AS MUCH AS WE ENJOYED WRITING IT. THIS IS GOING TO BE A ROUND ROBIN EVENT ON OUR FB GROUP. . . OUAT FAN FICTION & CREATIONS. THE AUTHOR'S NAME IS ABOVE THE SECTION WRITTEN BY EACH AUTHOR.

A THIEF IN THE PAWNSHOP

BY:

SNAPEGIRLKMF, FAIRIETALES4EVER,

ETHEREAL WISHES AND CHARLOTTEASHMORE

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

One day Mr. Gold was talking to a customer on the phone in the back room of his shop. He heard the shop bell tinkle but couldn't leave to see who came in. "Just a minute, dearie! Be right there," he called. Suddenly he heard an alarm go off. He quickly hung up and rushed into the main room and he saw . . .

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

A man, or he thought it was a man, though the figure was cloaked all in black and moved more nimbly than most men Gold knew of. He was perched over the main display case trying to grab...

ETHEREAL WISHES:

The shadowy man tried to grab a pendent with a ruby encrusted in the center. The ruby was powerless in the hands of a mortal but powerful to a sorcerer. Why hadn't he thought to lock such a piece up? The relic could also restore someone's life. Rumpelstiltskin realized the shadow was an undead visitor but who could it be?

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

"Cora!" Rumpel yelled. "Give me that!" He started to cast a spell that would pull the ruby from her mummified hand when the shop door opened again and in walked. . .

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

"Long time no see, imp," The Dark Sorceress purred. Rumpel could say nothing, stunned to see his enemy alive and well. "Maleficent? But Emma killed you!"

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

Just then Bae and Henry walked into the shop from the back way. "Papa, we got you a Reuben for lunch, they were all out of burgers," he began, then he saw the two sorceresses. "Holy shit! I see dead people!"

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

Rumpel never took his eyes off the pair. "How did you get here you miserable cretins and what do you want?" he snarled. He eyed them steadily and gripped his cane so hard his knuckles turned white.

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

Bae whispered to Henry, "Run outside and get Regina. We're gonna need backup!" As Henry ran outside, he cried, "Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!" He whipped out a plasma gun and shot Cora.

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

Cora reeled backwards, but managed to catch herself. Maleficent wielded her staff like a light saber as a bright purple light shot toward Henry. The boy ducked, but the magic swerved with him. If it hadn't been for Gold's quick thinking as he launched himself in front of his grandson, using the cane as a shield to ricochet the magic back at its owners, Henry would've been nothing more than a pile of dust.

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

"Run, boy!" he yelled, then he conjured a shield about himself and Bae. "How DARE you try and kill my grandson, you witch?" His eyes blazed. Bae scowled too. He fired off another shot with his gun at Mal. Henry ran out the door, yelling into his phone, "Mom, get over to Grandpa's shop right away, the Team Evil Hags are here!"

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

Regina stared at the phone in horrified confusion, "Henry? What's going on?"

"It's Return of the Psycho Sorcerers, Mom! Your mom and Maleficent are back from the dead!"

"What?"

"We need a plan Mom, operation Filet the Bitches commences now!"

"Henry, language!"

"Just get over here, Mom! And leave the rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers at home!" He joked before hanging up.

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

Regina turned to Robin. "Grab your bow, Rob! We're going in."

Robin grabbed the bow from the wall. "Let's shoot 'em up, m'lady!" as they ran out the door.

Back at the shop, Bae was yelling, "You're goin' down-bitch!" and he shot Cora again.

Rumpel shook his head, "Bae, God's sake!" He sent a pulse of energy at Mal. "Hey, horny one, try this on for size!"

"Freaking Witches of Eastwick!" Bae cursed.

Mal ducked behind a counter.

CHARLOTTEASHMORE:

At least Gold didn't have to worry about Belle since she was working through her lunch hour.

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

"You really think you can hide from me, dearie?" He asked, picking Mal up by the collar of her dress. "Now, I won't ask again, what do you want?"

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

Henry began to sing from behind his dad and grandpa, "One, two, Gina's comin for you . . . three four, better run your butt out the door . . . five, six grab some sticks, seven eight, you're gonna be permanently late . . .nine ten, drop dead again."

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

"What I want Rumpel, is none of your business. All I needed from you, was this," she taunted confidently as she swung the ruby necklace in front of his face.

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

"Thief! We hates you forever!" Bae taunted. "Papa, she's got your mojo!"

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

"Oh I don't think so, dearie," he scolded, promptly pulling the gem out of its place in the chain and making it vanish in thin air.

"You rotten imp!" Cora snarled.

Rumple laughed, "Don't you know? Coming back from the dead tips the laws of magic, and sooner or later, this'll bite you in the ass."

It looked like that would happen sooner than later. At that moment, an ominous blue light flashed in the shop to reveal...

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

Regina came through it, wielding a vial of holy water and a stake lit on fire. Robin was right behind her with his bow drawn. "Cavalry's here, Rumple!" she yelled. "Hello, Mommy Dearest! Long time no see."

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

Cora laughed, "Why Regina, are you so weak you must hide behind a miserable outlaw? I thought I taught you better than that."

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

Robin shot his bow and it hit Mal in the ass. "Ten points! How do you like them apples?"

Henry cheered. "Yeah, it's like the shootout at the OK corral!"

"The both of you watch too much TV!" Rumple groaned.

Regina smiled evilly. "You did, Mom. I'm not hiding behind him . . ." she uncapped a small metal vial. "I'm using him for cover!" The bottle glowed and Cora began to be sucked inside.

"Go Mom! Filet the bitch!" Henry yelled.

"Henry!" Regina, Rumple, and Bae all yelled at the same time. "You want me to wash out your mouth with Ivory?"

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

"Nooo!" Cora howled, grasping on to Mal's robes at the last second. "If I'm going down, you're coming with me!" she growled. Mal tried in vain to resist the pull from the bottle, "You just wait, I'll be back, I swear it you nasty twisted little-" but she was cut off as the bottle sucked them in fully, glowing bright red before Regina corked the lid.

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

"Flawless victory, Gina!" Robin said, clapping.

Regina smiled.

"Not you too!" Gold cried.

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

"Awww, Gramps, cheer up, we did it! Operation Filet the Bitches was a success!" Then he turned to Regina and beamed, "You kicked ass mom!"

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

"Rumpel, where's the soap?" Regina asked her old mentor.

FAIRIETALES4EVER:

"Right here dearie," he gestured, and a giant bar of Ivory appeared in his hand. "Why don't I trade you for that, dearie," he said, gesturing to the vessel containing the two sorceresses. "I'll make sure to lock them up somewhere they'll never be heard from again." He said handing her the bar and taking the vial.

"Ten thousand years in the cave of wonders ought to chill them out." Henry quipped with a smirk.

SNAPEGIRLKMF:

"Now let's all eat lunch at Granny's," said Bae because Rumple's sandwich had gotten stepped on during the battle. As they all sat down at their usual booth, his phone rang. "Hey, babe. Yeah . . .we are . . .so what are we having for dinner?" He started cracking up at her answer. "Dad, what's so funny?" asked his son. "What's Emma making?"

Bae looked at Henry. "TV dinners."