Cinderella Smiles:

Amy had just discovered the bisexual side of herself much to Rory's chagrin. The Doctor found human sexuality fascinating and decided he needed to take a pitstop at the Amazon planet Snoo-Snoo.

"WHAT THEY DO HERE?" cried a angry amazon whose muscles enveloped her ten foot frame like pieces of mutton hanging in a butcher shop.

"I'm the Doctor…" said the Doctor.

"ME NO LIKIE MAN, MAN" said the Amazon as she threw her spear through the Doctor. Amy yelled through tears, "Watch out doctor! I'm in love with you!" The doctor was stabbed through his spleen and impaled on a rock. He started to regenerate.

Rory was confused.

The amazon held up a rock that pulled the glowy regenerative energy from the Doctor's trembling Doctor.

"I'm scared" cried the doctor, "Before I die, you should know, my name is Zach(k) Galifreynakius!"

"Okay" said Amy.

The Amazons then grunted. "THE AMAZON WOMEN DO NOT APPROVE OF YOUR TIME LORD WIBBLY WOBBLIES! IF YOU RETURN YOU YOU MUST RELINQUISH YOUR WIBBLIES!1!"

The Doctor agreed.

Suddenly in a bursting gush of glowy light the doctor became a gorgeous honey-haired goddess.

"Pond! Am I ginger!" called the Doctress. Amy's face was as if she had just seen a Dalek kissing a Cyberman.

"You're… You're… You're… River Song!"

Rory looked confused.

Forgotten War:

"So that's how I knew my name!" Cried Doctoress Song (also why she was called Doctor Song).

Rory was confused.

"But, you. You kissed yourself…" Amy puzzled.

"Like you don't think that's hot ;) " The Doctor Song said sexily.

Rory was perturbed, "Are you hitting on my girlfriend?"

"Why would you be upset? We're both girls now," replied The Doctor Song.

Rory was confused. But considered this for a second. He thinks he might like this.

"Come on!" Said the Songtress let's go back to the Time and Revolutions in Time and Space Box (short for Tardis)!"

Then in the Tardis, Rory said, "Doctor Song Doctor, why was I not punished for my manliness."

Amy snorted loudly, but tried to make it subtle.

"Ah-lohn-zhee, Rory" says the On-Coming-Storm, "It might have something to do with your heart. Obviously Rory, you were not consuming enough Bananas. Or partying with French Women. Or you for some reason did not like Sean Connery best as James Bond."

"All of those are true," mumbled Rory.

"Ah, well you see what's probably true is that you didn't have two hearts. Seeing as they're aren't actually any men on the planet of Snoo-Snoo, and these women have in fact what it was they hated so much about men, they've forgotten that the distinguishing factor for a man is his penis, and not indeed his heart. They have come to believe that men have two hearts and women only have one."

Then the Song Doctor grabbed Amy and started making out with her.

"Oh," said Rory, "well at least it wasn't my penis."

B-A-N-A-N-A-S:

"Exterminate!" said the Dalek.

Amy mumbled, "Not this again."

DocSongTer said, "Hold on, I can handle this with my newly developed *wink wink* feminine powers!"

"Halt Dalek!" She yelled, zipping down the front of her shirt about half way.

"What is this woman?" shrieked the Dalek, "Records show that this is considered 'sexy.' Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Song?"

"Do you like it? Let me push your buttons, R2-D2."

The Dalek exploded in a mess of sensual radiation.

Rory looked confused.

"Well that takes care of that then," said Amy.

They went back to the Tardis. While Amy's back was turned the Dr. Songster turned to Rory and said, "Hey sexy, now that I'm a chick I find you super smexy. And not ugly like I used to think so."

Then they totally made out. It was hot.

Then Amy turned around and they stopped.

"What are you guys doing?" she asked.

"I'm not a guy anymore, and nothing," said Doctor River.

Rory was confused.

"Oh okay that's fine," said Amy, "Doctor I'm tired of all this adventuring. When are we going to the mall?"

"Oh Amy! Now that I'm a woman, that sounds like something I'd love! Let's go! And then Rory can hold all our bags or else he won't get any more kisses."

"That's right, you hear that Rory, I won't kiss you any more if you don't hold our bags." Amy said.

The Doc River Songster winked at him.

Rory looked confused.

TO BE CONTINUED!