Disclaimer: I do not own instant star. This was just a little one-shot that I had to get out of my head, inspire by listening to John Farnham's song Burn For You, which I also do not own. Listen to the song, its amazing, and let me know what you think
Kait xx
Burn for You
It's been over two years now that she's been in his life and it only gets harder. They have been friends for two years, with a handful of stolen kisses in their history. She is the most beautiful girl that he has ever seen in his life and it kills him that he cannot have her because there is nothing that he wants more. He wonders sometimes, though if it is just the whole thrill of the chase thing, the forbidden fruit scenario that makes him want her so bad, but he closes his eyes, shakes it off and decides that it is more than that. It has been two years of wanting and he wants her now more than ever before.
His fingers burn with the need to touch her and his lips burn with need most when she is around him; it makes his life difficult beyond belief. Recording with her is not an easy feat, he wants to go behind the glass, grab her in his arms and kiss her senseless until her lips bleed and his mouth goes dry, but he settles for ruffling her hair and telling her, "Good job, Jude." Because he knows anything more than this and their careers are at stake, he has to remind himself that it is illegal, that she is only seventeen, but instead the only thoughts that cross his mind are about her perfect she is, how nothing can compare to her innocent, stunning beauty that captivates him so.
God, it's hard.
She walks into the studio at nine am on Sunday. "You're early girl." He smiles at her, hoping, praying, wishing that his façade wont dismantle and crack into a thousand pieces on the floor at his feet, because he knows that his resolve won't be far behind, but he won't let this happen, he can't – there is too much at stake for the both of them – their jobs for one, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. "It's nine, Darius made it clear that I was to be here precisely at nine, time is money and all that." She rolls her eyes and slings her backpack off her shoulder and onto the floor, right next to the spot reserved for his resolve.
"How was your weekend?" He asks, pretending not to pay attention, all while watching the shapes her mouth makes as she forms perfect words, "Wasn't that great," she bites her lip gingerly, then adds as an afterthought, "Speed and I broke up," and rolled her eyes, bending at the waist and pulling her notebook from the backpack with frayed edges at the straps. "Sorry to hear that." He tries for concerned, but fails slightly, his happiness at this new information is almost visible, and his eyes shine like two burning stars, blue and bright as ever. "Don't be, it was a miserable attempt at a relationship." She smiled at him softly and sweetly and he felt himself burn so much that he felt like he could become nothing more than a puddle any second now. "Couldn't have been that," he says, after contemplating this for a beat, Jude laughs, feminine and melodic, music to his ears, "Bart and Lisa Simpson, we're best off as friends and nothing more, his idea of romance was flag football." She laughed again, but her eyes did not laugh with her, maybe she was more affected than she seemed.
"You okay?" He asked, his eyes turning soft as he looked into hers, pretty but sad, "I'm fine, just… other stuff, you know how it gets." She put a hand on his shoulder, in a move to assure him that she was really okay, "if you want to talk…" he trailed off, she gave him a lopsided smile, "I know where you are, Li'l Tommy Q." She smiled, this time for real, and as it touched her eyes it touched his soul too and he was grateful, enough that his resolve crumbled for a moment and he took her into his arms for a gentle hug. He tried not to linger too long; he didn't want her to know, she couldn't know, it couldn't happen, it wouldn't happen, he would not let it.
"I just…" She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts internally for a moment, "I just don't know why it's so damn hard, ya know?" She paused again, her pretty gaze concentrated at the worn Chuck's on her feet with sharpied on pictures and quotes that he couldn't see because her jeans swept over them but he knew they were there, he'd added his own little doodle to her collection, he wondered idly if it was still there, if she'd ever noticed it, if she had wondered which one was his, but it was useless by now, probably faded with time and age, just like the black color on her shoes had.
He chuckled, almost sadly, "Oh, I know Jude, I know all too well." He wanted then to reach out and touch her, tuck her hair behind her ear and lift her head to look at him and just kiss her, because what harm was a kiss? "Speed and I broke up because of you!" She spits out, he can almost feel the tears in her eyes and it takes everything he has and more for him not to go over there and do everything that he wants to her, her burns for her touch, wants it, needs it like nothing he's ever felt before; he has never had a yearning like this, so bad that he can't make sense of anything anymore, he needs her.
"It's because I love you, Tommy!" Now he can hear her sobs just as much as he can feel them, maybe even more, they are broken and it is all he can hear, the sounds of her wailing sobs, the diamond-like tears trailing down her cheeks, she is all that he can feel - she is all that he needs.
He lets his resolve fall this one time, "It's okay, it's okay." He repeats, and it is all he can do to reassure her, he only wishes that he could reassure himself so easily. "But I love you!" She cries desperately, and he crosses to her in one large step and takes her into his arms, feeling the warm wetness of her tears go through his t-shirt, but he didn't mind, this was closer than he had been in a long time, he just wished that this closer wasn't killing him, but it was, he could feel the burn, now in his chest, the ache in his heart for her, the longing for her lips against his, it was so alive, so real, that he could not stop himself from just gently tilting her head, her beautiful eyes, bloodshot and glassy, but still so, so beautiful, staring into his darker ones, filled with want, and need, and all of those feelings that she stirred inside him, and then, in one swift move, his lips were on hers and the burning slowed for those moments.
He pulled away, not wanting to tell her to forget this, or to pretend it never happened, because he would cherish it forever, would never get the image of his beautifully broken girl out of his mind. She looked up at him again through her bangs, "Does this mean – do you…?" She trailed off, unable to make any sense of her thoughts; he sat down and motioned for her to sit on his lap. He wordlessly pulled one of her legs up, her foot resting against the edge of the soundboard, he rolled up her jeans a little and traced the words with his finger, still there despite all the time that had past, and all of the obstacles that had come between them. "I burn for you? You wrote that?" He smiled lightly and nodded at her "I burn for you, it's what I do." She smiled lightly, "It's beautiful." He kissed her, slowly and softly this time, the way he had meant to earlier, before he had time to react.
"I love you too, Big Eyes." He smiled at her, properly and fully this time, reaching his eyes that had lost their sadness but had kept their fire. She hugged him, smiling as she took in his scent, Tommy smiled too, hoping that the burning would never stop, that he would want her like this forever, and he knew he would.