HAWK MAMA BACK

BEST BOY BACK

BLONDE DEMON BACK

BIG BOOBS BACK

HAWK MAMA NEEDS VACATION

HAWK MAMA GET SECRETS

HAWK MAMA SELL TO HIGHEST BIDDER

PUUUUGGGOOOOOOOOOO

Food

The Seven Deadly Sins sat around a very large table at the Greasy Bums Meat Cakes tavern. It was mostly empty, the tavern dark and dank, and as gloomy and as strangely smelly and greasy and slimy as usually. Most of them were keeping their hands in their lap, being very careful to not touch random stains that were on everything. Almost all the buildings around the tavern were destroyed, but this place was pretty much untouched. The Ten Commandments arc had just ended three days ago, and they were all physically and emotionally scarred from the experience. Meliodas had insisted that they get together and talk things through.

"But why, Captain?" King asked, yawing as he floated on his pillow. "We never talked out things before."

"Exactly!" Meliodas said, banging on the table. "Imagine how much less suffering we would have all had to go through if we had all just sat down and had a damn conversation!"

The others looked at each other skeptically. "Well. Yes- but… What about the rules?" Escanor asked. It was night, so he spoke up rather nervously, sitting in between Ban and a human-sized Diane.

"Ppppffffffttt," he answered, covering the table in his spit. "Those rules are so 2012. Can anyone even remember more than, like three of them?" The others shook their heads, so Meliodas said, "So I've arranged for some teambuilding time for us."

Merlin looked around with a wrinkled nose. "And why are we here, exactly?"

Meliodas grinned. "Because with what I have planned, we're going to need to drink, and with the Boar Hat still smashed into pieces, this is the only other bar that will let us in."

Just then the waitress approached saying, "Hi, can I take your- oh! It's you!"

They all turned and looked in surprise to see it was none other than Princess Elizabeth! "Princess!" shouted King. "What are you doing here? Why are you working in a dive like this?"

Elizabeth giggled and blushed and put her hand to her cheek. "Oh, I just got so used to waitressing that I figured I should keep doing it. Plus I need some extra cash to support all of my eight children."

"But you're royalty?" Daine says in confusion.

"Oh, well Mommy might also need some peace and quiet too," she laughs, the sound of a man slurring a round of curses by the bar behind her- before he slams his mug over another man's head, glass shattering everywhere, echos around the bar as fights break out. "yes, peaceful." She says dreamily, before she took their orders and breezes away. Meliodas watches her longingly, but his attention snapped back when Ban says, "So how long are we here for?"

"Well," he answered with a grin, "That's up to the doctor to decide."

"What doctor?" Merlin asked suspiciously, when suddenly a high pitched voice squealed from the floor, "Doctor Hawk, PhD, at your service!"

"Since when are you a doctor?" King said with a frown, looking suspiciously at Hawk's white coat and glasses perched on the end of his pig snout.

Hawk stomped over and pulled himself up on the table. "I double-majored in Scraps Removal and in Psychology. So let's get started!"

"What do you have in mind for us?" Meliodas asked.

Hawk wiggled his nose several times just as Elizabeth returned with drinks, "What we need from this group is to reconnect. I propose that we each share something personal, something no one else knows. We can rebuild the trust in this group by sharing something intimate."

"Ewwww," Diane groaned as Ban said, "I don't think so, Master!"

"Oh, come on!" Hawk squealed. "You guys are my first clients, and now that we don't have a tavern I gotta make some scrap money!"

"Okay!" Meliodas shouted, pumping a fist in the air and accidentally on purpose punching Elizabeth right in the right tit, "Let's get sharing!"

The Seven Deadly Sins all looked at each other for 45 minutes. No one really blinking, or moving. Then finally Hawk shouted, "Someone has to go first!"

"I'll do it," said Gowther, and everyone looked at him in surprise.

"You?" Meliodas said. "Really? You have a secret to confess?"

"Precisely," Gowther shrugged. Pushing up his glasses that were now very greasy. "I've been trying to keep secrets as part of my research into the human experience." He cleared his throat and said, "I like the Captain's cooking."

The other six Sins, who all happened to be sipping their incredibly greasy ale from the even greasier mugs, all spit simultaneously, dousing Gowther completely. The Goat Sin, however, simply removed his glasses and wiped them on a greasy napkin.

"How?" Escanor wailed.

"Have you- have you actually tasted it?" Ban asked.

"You don't even eat!" Diane shouted.

Gowther nodded. "I shall answer all of your questions. How I enjoy it is I put it in my mouth and experience pleasure. Yes, I have tasted it. And yes, I do eat, but I choose not to."

Meliodas slammed down his mug. "But wait, a minute, Gowther. If you like my cooking so much, why don't we ever see you eat any?"

"It's simple," he explains. "Your cooking brings agony and despair to everyone else. I did not want to be excluded from the group for my strange tastes. However, my enjoyment for the Captain's food has ruined my taste for all others, and in fact I get rather… excited when I eat it. So I just forgo food altogether in order to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment."

The others look at each other for a long moment, and then nod. "Okay then!" squeaks Hawk, making a note in his notebook. "Who's next?"