A/N: Inspired by BiteMeTechie's "100 starting lines" from the When Plot Bunnies Attack forum. Line #011, "I can't swim..."
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"I can't swim!" he protested weakly as he was half carried, half shoved towards the 'jumper.
"I've heard that the best way to learn is to be thrown into a pool full of sharks," Ronon, who was dragging him along, said with a smile.
Rodney was forcefully reminded of said aquatic beings as he looked at the expression on the big man's face. He turned pale and kept protesting throughout the entire flight to the inland lake, and Sheppard finally snapped at him, "Shut up Rodney, jeez, it's not like you've never gotten wet before."
The protestations subsided, but the astrophysicist still acted like he was going to his death, whimpering every once in a while and looking like he might burst into tears at any moment.
Ronon looked over at Teyla and grinned. He was enjoying Rodney's discomfort way too much. She only raised her eyebrows at him and smiled slightly. True, it was fun to torment the good Doctor, but she felt it was much too easy and there was no sport in it.
When they reached the lake and disembarked, apart from three foiled escape attempts on Rodney's part there were no disturbances and Sheppard said that the only life signs were just some birds and small rodents.
They reached the lake, which was very calm and peaceful, and found a large, shady tree to park their gear under. Ronon had finally tired of Rodney's incessant bleating and threatened to cut short his power bar rations for the rest of the month if he didn't shut up, which seemed to be working quite well, as Rodney was only glaring sullenly at all three of them in turn and muttering something about "stupid Conan" "Xena" and "Captain Kirk."
Teyla went off in search of something she could change behind, and while she was gone Ronon forced Rodney at gun-point to put on the lemon-patterned swimtrunks they had brought for him. Sheppard, who had come fully prepared, stripped off his uniform to reveal dark green swim trunks and dived into the water with a whoop.
Rodney, still grousing about "damned aliens" and "if I get pneumonia it's their fault," stomped moodily towards the water, when suddenly a blur of motion caught him off balance and he fell to his knees with a splash. He cursed and got up again, trying unsuccesfully to wipe the sandy mud from his hands, before glaring around and demanding, "Alright, who did that?"
Neither John nor Ronon owned up, but there was a splash near Sheppard's elbow and suddenly Teyla emerged from underwater, dripping wet and pushing her hair out of her eyes. Her face carried a smug grin, which widened when she saw Rodney's expression. The grin disappeared, however, when she was suddenly deluged with a wall of water that knocked her into Sheppard. He caught her before she fell, and blushed a bit, because she was wearing a flattering but revealing dark blue bikini, but she didn't notice his stammered apology because she was too busy glowering at Ronon, who was unsuccessfully trying to look innocent.
Teyla started to walk towards him purposefully, and the Satedan wisely began a hasty retreat into deeper water. When he got to where he could no longer stand, he began dog-paddling away, laughing and shouting at Teyla, "Catch me if you can!"
Teyla paused, considering, then nodded and called to him, "As you wish!"
She dived into the water and kicked off the sandy bottom to shoot forward, propelling herself through the surface only to submerge again and come up with strong strokes.
By this time Ronon had slowed his escape and was treading water about twenty meters ahead of her, but as soon as he saw the way she was swimming his eyes widened and he began paddling for his life. She was moving extremely fast through the water, using powerful strokes and kicking up a foam that became a trail behind her.
Since Ronon had never really learned how to swim, and since Teyla had never mentioned the sport, he had assumed she had not known how either. Apparently he was wrong, however, because she had caught up to him and shoved his head underwater and was sprinting away from him before it had registered that she had caught up to him.
Teyla turned her strokes back to where John and Rodney were engaged in a heated "I can splash you wetter than you can splash me" contest, and when she got within range she drew out her secret weapon: a Triple-Barreled Turbo Blaster™ that she had borrowed from Laura Cadman specially for the occasion. It was hidden in a leg holster, which was why none of the men had noticed it yet. Teyla smiled a very Ronon-esque predatory grin before she dived underwater to sneak up on John.
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A/N: Okay so it was kind of pointless, I know, but I think the team oughta have a day off once in a while, don't you?