A.N.: A one-shot of how Arya feels about Eragon taking place during the battle at Feinster, and then immediately after.

This story was edited on 08/01/15

Disclaimer: I do not own the Inheritance Cycle or the characters in it.

Forbidden

Here I was on a battlefield in peril danger and I couldn't care less. I wasn't concerned about my mother who was fighting another battle in Gil'ead. I wasn't scared for my brother and sister elves who might lose there lives today. I wasn't concerned for the dwarves, Urgals, and humans who were fighting by my side. I wasn't concerned for our witch Angela or the Varden leader Nasuada. I wasn't even concerned for Glaedr and Oromis who had come out of hiding to fight. The only one I was concerned for was Eragon. I was ashamed to admit even to myself the reason. It wasn't because he was our only hope to destroy Galbatorix. The only reason was because I loved him. I had tried denying it even to myself. I had tried to separate us. I tried to reason with myself that it just wasn't possible. But for every argument I could find I found the perfect counter argument. I was over a hundred years old and he's but a kid, though he's wise for his years. I already loved another, yet he is dead. I am an elf and he is a human, but he is a dragon rider. I'm an immortal, yet so is he. He deserves someone of his own kind, but how would that really be fair for they would die long before him. In truth nobody but an elf would do for him. Yet there was no way I could ever act on my feelings. It would be forbidden, and we could never have a romantic life as I would put his life in peril danger. I already knew how he felt about me. He had risked his life to save me while I was held prisoner, and he had shown me as well as told me that he loved me. Yet I knew we never could be together it would be positively forbidden, but I would give anything to be able to.

I hadn't really been paying attention to what I was attacking, because even though most didn't believe it, fighting really was second nature to elves. The attacks and dodges I made took no mental concentration, it was completely instinctual. I was beyond glad that Eragon's father was Brom and not Morzan. It made better sense and it took quite a load off of Eragon. He had been horrified when he had found out his father was Morzan. I hadn't known what to say when I had found out he was the son of a traitor. Now he was the son of a hero, the man who had slain the last of Galbatorix's Riders. I knew Angela was older than I but no one knew what she really was. Angela and Solembum both had taken a sharp interest in Eragon which was a first since they never showed interest in beings. She kept to herself and spoke in riddles mostly, and though I had no way of knowing for certain I believed she was once a Dragon Rider. I was jealous of her though because she had started interacting with Eragon, and it was a very strange emotion for me since it was more human then any other emotion I had ever felt.

I had made my way to the castle-like building that was where Lady Lorana was. I was running beside Jörmundur to keep him safe when my attention was caught by a shield waving, it was Eragon. I made my way to him to see what he wanted. The instant I stopped he spoke "Saphira and I are going to enter the keep from above and try to capture Lady Lorana. Do you want to come with us?"

I didn't even think about it, of course I had to come since he was leaving his defenders below him. I nodded tersely.

He jumped onto Saphira's leg and then proceeded to her saddle. I followed suit and as we took off I noticed the looks of frustration, rage, and consternation on the elves faces. I wasn't much happier; he should have a thousand warriors defending him.

"You should not abandon your guards so lightly", I told him. I expected a smart ass retort similar to the normal ones I got, but I didn't. He didn't say anything and his body slumped. If it hadn't been for the heart beat I could hear, I would have feared he was dead. "Eragon?" I asked in his ear. There was no response at all. He suddenly came to and still he didn't speak. I was worried he had been hurt. "What is wrong?"

He didn't speak instead Saphira spoke to me. Oromis and Glaedr are about to fight Thorn and Murtagh.

I stiffened; Oromis was too old to be fighting such a young and powerful Dragon Rider. But how did he know; I voiced my concern "How do you know? I asked.

"I'll explain later. I just hope they don't get hurt." Eragon responded.

It would have to wait but I wanted to know, I redirected my line of thought so I wouldn't be distracted by a mystery. "As do I."

We flew to a steep roof that had a small window and we got off of Saphira who told us, I will meet you in the chamber below. The window is too small. Who then flew to the chamber.

We headed down the stairs and we both felt five minds off in the distance. I withdrew my mind so I was protected. Eragon placed his hand on my shoulder and whispered "Do you feel that?"

Of course I felt it. I nodded. "We should have brought Blödhgarm with us." We descended into the chamber. The room was at least thirty feet high, and a lantern with faceted panes of glass hung from the ceiling; a yellow flame burning inside. Hundreds of oil paintings covered the walls: portraits of bearded men in ornate robes and expressionless women sitting amid children with sharp, flat teeth; gloomy windswept escapes depicting the drowning of sailors; and scenes of battle, where humans slaughtered bands of grotesque Urgals. A row of tall wooden shutters set within the northern wall opened onto a balcony with a stone balustrade. Opposite the window, near the far wall, was a collection of small round tables littered with scrolls, three padded chairs, and two oversized brass urns filled with bouquets of dried flowers. A stout, gray haired woman garbed in a lavender dress sat in one of the chairs. She bore a strong resemblance to several of the men in the paintings. A silver diadem adorned with jade and topaz rested upon her head.

In the center of the room stood three magicians. Two of them were men and the third was a woman. All of them had long billowing robes with the hood hanging back to expose there faces. There was a fourth man who sat in the middle garbed in the same attire who was grimacing in pain. I instantly realized what they were doing, they were trying to create a Shade and it could not be allowed. I shoved my mind into his without avail, I frowned. "They were trained well."

"Do you know what they are doing?"

I knew but I chose wisely and decided he didn't need to know, I shook my head.

Lady Lorana looked up and saw us. She pressed her fingers against her lips and beckoned for us to come to her.

Eragon looked at me confused. "It could be a trap," he said.

I felt the same way. "It most likely is."

"What should we do?"

I answered his question with a question. "Is Saphira almost here?"

"Yes."

I really didn't want to go over there but what choice did we have. "Then let us greet our host." We walked over to her and I spoke "Are you Lady Lorana?"

She inclined her head. "That I am, fair elf." She turned her gaze toward Eragon. "And are you the Dragon Rider of whom we have heard so much about recently? Are you Eragon Shadeslayer?"

"I am," Eragon said.

A relieved smile lighted her face, "Ah, I had hoped you would come. You must stop them, Shadeslayer." She gestured to the three magicians.

"Why don't you order them to surrender?" Eragon asked.

"I cannot," Lorana said. "They answer only to the king and his new Rider. I have sworn myself to Galbatorix – I had no choice in the matter – so I cannot raise a hand against him or his servants; otherwise, I would have arranged their destruction myself."

I knew why but I needed her to confirm my suspicion. "Why, What is it you fear so much?"

Lorana's eyes tightened, "They know they cannot hope to drive off the Varden as they are, and Galbatorix has not sent reinforcements to our aid. So they are attempting, I do not know how, to create a Shade in the hope that the monster will turn against the Varden and spread sorrow and confusion throughout your ranks."

I saw the mortified face that appeared on Eragon's face as he spoke. "But a Shade might just as easily turn against them and everyone else in Feinster as it would the Varden."

Lorana nodded. "They do not care. They only wish to cause as much pain and destruction as they can before they die. They are insane, Shadeslayer. Please, you must stop them, for the sake of my people!"

Saphira landed upon the balcony outside, and she used her paw to knock away the shutters. She then shoved her head through the window. The magicians didn't even notice Saphira as they continued chanting.

"Oh my," Lady Lorana exclaimed as she took in Saphira.

Eragon turned his attention to the magicians. "Right." he muttered, and hefted his sword in the air as he headed toward them. Suddenly he crumpled to the ground and Saphira's head hit the ground. I ran over to Eragon and shook his shoulder. "Eragon," I whispered. I feared he was being attacked mentally and entered his mind.

He closed off his throat, terminating the flow of fire as he and the squirming-squealing-slash-claw-dragon pulled away from each other. From on his back, Glaedr heard Oromis say, "Their strength is fading I can see it in their bearing. Another few minutes and Murtagh's concentration shall fail and I will be able to assume control over his thoughts. That or we shall slay them with sword and fang."

Glaedr growled in agreement, frustrated that he and Oromis dared not communicate with their minds, as they usually did. Rising on warm-wind-from-tilled-earth, he turned toward Thorn, whose limbs dripped with crimson blood, and roared and prepared to grapple with him once more.

It ended and I pulled myself out of Eragon's head. I placed my hand firmly under his arm and pulled him up. I noticed Saphira shaking her head back and forth. The magicians were still chanting but I was currently more concerned with what had just occurred in Eragon's head.

"What happened?" I asked my voice strained as I thought of what I had seen. I pulled him close to me and talked even quieter. "How can you know what Glaedr is thinking from so far away, and when his mind is closed even to Oromis? Forgive me for touching your thoughts without your permission, Eragon, but I was worried about your welfare. What sort of a bond do you and Saphira share with Glaedr?"

"Later," Eragon said and squared his shoulders.

I needed more info than that. "Did Oromis give you an amulet or some other trinket that allows you to contact Glaedr?"

"It would take too long to explain. Later, I promise."

I was hesitant I wanted to know but stopping the spell was more important. "I shall hold you to that."

Eragon, Saphira, and I each attacked a different magician, as we hit them a metallic peal filled the room as my blade rebounded. "Concentrate on this one!" Eragon yelled pointing to the one he had attacked before. "Hurry before they manage to summon any spirits!" I could have tried to stop their spell with a spell, but if they were shielded physically they were probably also shielded magically. We attacked the magician taking turns for nearly a minute when Eragon's blade finally sliced through the shield and with it his head. The only response the other two magicians had was to chant even harder. We continued on to the other man and repeated our attacking sequence and this time it was Saphira who killed him, throwing the man across the room. We turned to the female and went to attack. Suddenly several dozen glowing orbs appeared, they were a dark storm cloud gray. We had to destroy her now and maybe the orbs would just leave. Suddenly both Eragon and Saphira crumpled and this time I could not find out what they were seeing. I attacked the female several times and finally my blade slashed through her body. I turned in time to see the spirits go into his body. He rose and attacked me before I could respond. The suddenness of his attack both mental and physical made me drop my blade and he grabbed me by the throat pulling me up in the air.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Eragon regain his composure. I was running out of air and needed to breathe, but that simply wasn't possible with him holding me by the throat. I started kicking as hard as I could on him but he didn't notice. He looked at Eragon and spoke. "Our name is Varaug, fear us." I continued kicking but it was getting harder and I was just barely shielding myself mentally. I had absolutely no air left and Eragon and Saphira were both under mental attack, they seemed unable to move. I shot the palm of my hand into his elbow with enough force to break it and his arm sagged giving me the chance to take a breath before he healed it and pulled me even higher in the air. Varaug growled directly at me. "You shall die; you shall all die for imprisoning us in this cold hard clay."

The mental attack stopped and I saw the look of concentration on Eragon's face. Saphira too was obviously free of the mental attack, but my throat was still constricted. I needed to get free or I would die from lack of oxygen. Eragon was currently holding Varaug off but I knew the longer Eragon stayed in his mind the more assured Eragon's own death would be. I saw it the instant the battle changed to Varaug's favor as Eragon's face turned from extreme concentration to a dumb founded stare. I had to save Eragon now or he would surely die. Varaug suddenly let out an exclamation. "Your ring is full of light! Beautiful light! It will feed us for a long time!" No, I couldn't let him take that ring; the ring was for only Eragon and no one else. I grabbed his wrist and smashed it as he growled, and slipped free of his grasp dropping to the ground gasping in the air I had been without. Varaug tried to kick me but I rolled away from him and reached for my sword. I grabbed the hilt as Varaug let out a bellow and pounced on me. We rolled across the floor as I fought to maintain control of the weapon. I let out a wordless shout and struck him in the head with the pommel. The force of my blow made him lose his grasp on me and I pulled myself away from him.

I noticed the look of concentration return to Eragon's face. What the hell was Eragon thinking he'd go insane if he stayed within the mind of the Shade. Varaug got to one knee as Eragon yelled, "Get him!" I lunged at the Shade my sword pointing straight forward as it went through his chest. I saw Eragon wince in agony as he felt the pain of my blow. Varaug pulled himself off of my blade and came toward me reaching forward. He wasn't able to touch me though as he ripped into thousands of pieces and the spirits left his body. I put my hand on my neck and began spitting up blood; I hadn't realized I was that injured.

Eragon came toward me and placed his hand on mine and said, "Waíse heill." I wanted to yell at him not to, he was too weak to waste his energy on me but I couldn't and he healed me. "Better?"

"Better," I whispered as I gave him a weak smile. I made a motion to the small remains of Varaug's body. "We killed him…" I couldn't believe my sword had killed a shade. "We killed him, and yet we did not die. So few have ever killed a Shade and lived."

"That is because they fought alone, not together, like us," Eragon declared.

He was correct and I was happy that he had been my partner. "No, not like us." I agreed.

"I had you to help me in Farthen Dúr, and you had me to help you here."

"Yes."

"Now I shall have to call you a Shadeslayer."

"We are both–"

I only got that far before Saphira let out a lament of agony both aloud and mentally. She let out a piercing keen and ripped her talons across the floor while her mind shouted Gone! Gone! Gone forever!

What was gone? "Saphira, what's wrong?" She did not respond so I turned to Eragon. "What's wrong?"

He seemed to struggle to say it. "Oromis and Glaedr are dead. Galbatorix killed them."

I staggered back and the breath whirled out of me. No he couldn't be dead. "Ah." It was all I could manage. I gripped the chair to support myself, and began crying. "Eragon." I reached toward him, I needed his comfort. I fell into his arms, and I'm certain he thought it was an accident but it was the farthest thing from. I felt him lock his jaw together, and I wanted to tell him just to cry but I was still trying to clam myself. I remained in his arms for much too long but I couldn't care less about that. I finally withdrew myself; I needed answers even if I didn't want them. "How did it happen?"

"Oromis had one of his seizures, and while he was paralyzed, Galbatorix used Murtagh to–" His voice broke, and he shook his head. "I'll tell you about it along with Nasuada. She should know about this, and I don't want to have to describe it more than once."

He was right and I didn't want to hear it more than once. I nodded. "Then let us go and see her."

We headed down the stairs escorting Lady Lorana and about halfway down we reached Eragon's protectors. One of the females started speaking – I used to know her name but at the time I couldn't recall it – "Shadeslayer! Arya! Are you hurt? We heard Saphira's lament, and we thought one of you might have died."

Eragon looked to me because with his swears of secrecy he couldn't talk in front of Lady Lorana. He needed to be released from his oath. I nodded. "I release you from your vow, Eragon, both of you. Speak of them to whomever you choose."

Eragon looked at the elves, "No, we are not hurt. However, Oromis and Glaedr have just died, slain in battle over Gil'ead."

All the elves let loose a cry of agony and began shoving questions upon him. I raised my hand and spoke. "Restrain yourselves. Now is not the time or place to satisfy your curiosity. There are still soldiers about, and we do not know who might be listening. Keep your sorrow hidden within you hearts until we are safe and secure." I paused and looked at Eragon, he probably only wanted an audience with Nasuada and me. "I will explain the full circumstances of their deaths to you once I know them myself."

"Nen ono weohnata, Arya Dröttningu," they murmured.

"Did you hear my call?" Eragon asked looking toward Blödhgarm.

"I did, we came as fast as we could, but there were many soldiers between there and here."

Eragon placed his hand over his heart in the elves' traditional sign of respect. "I apologize for leaving you behind, Blödhgarm-elda. The heat of battle made me foolish and overconfident, and we nearly died because of my mistake."

"You need not apologize, Shadeslayer. We too made a mistake today, one which I promise we shall not repeat. From now on, we will fight alongside you and the Varden without reserve."

I briefly wondered what Eragon had snapped at them about, but I was too grief ridden to care for long. We headed down the rest of the stairs and outside. Someone went and got Jörmundur, when he arrived we explained what had occurred, and then gave him Lady Lorana.

Jörmundur bowed to her, "You may rest assured, Lady, we shall treat you with the respect and dignity of your station. We may be your enemies, but we are still civilized men.

"Thank you, I am relieved to hear it. However, my main concern now is for the safety of my subjects. If I might, I would like to speak with your leader, Nasuada, about her plans for them." Lady Lorana told him.

"I believe she wishes to speak with you as well." Jörmundur replied.

We began to part and Lady Lorana spoke. "I am most grateful to you, elf, and to you as well, Dragon Rider, for killing that monster before he could wreak sorrow and destruction upon Feinster. Fate has placed us on opposite sides of this conflict, but that does not mean I cannot admire your bravery and prowess. We may never meet again, so fare thee well, both of you."

Eragon bowed. "Fare thee well, Lady Lorana."

Hadn't we taught him how to speak better than that; I guess once a farmer, always a farmer. "May the stars watch over you", I said.

We headed off to find Nasuada, and found her riding her stallion inspecting the damage done to the town. She greeted us with relief. "I'm glad you have finally returned. We've needed you here these past few days. I see you have a new sword, Eragon, a Dragon Rider's sword. Did the elves give it to you?"

"In an indirect way, yes." Eragon said looking around, he lowered his voice. ""Nasuada, we must talk with you alone. It's important."

"Very well," Nasuada said and pointed to one of the buildings. "Let us talk in there."

Two of her guards went in and checked the building. They reappeared and told Nasuada. "It's empty, my Lady."

"Good. Thank you." She dismounted and handed the reins to one of the men. We went inside and Saphira stuck her head in a window.

I said several spells that would keep others from hearing. "We may speak without fear."

Nasuada rubbed her arms and shivered. If she didn't heal and soon I was going to intervene and heal the wounds with or without her permission. "What is this all about, Eragon?"

Eragon swallowed. "Nasuada… Saphira and I were not alone… There was another dragon and another Rider fighting against Galbatorix." It pained me to hear him speak in the past tense.

"I knew it," Nasuada exclaimed, I don't believe her mind registered the past tense that Eragon used. "It was the only explanation that made sense. They were your teachers in Ellesméra, weren't they?"

Saphira spoke, they were, but no more.

"No more?" questioned Nasuada.

Eragon pressed his lips together and shook his head. I could see the tears in his eyes and I wanted to comfort him but I couldn't here. "Just this morning they died at Gil'ead. Galbatorix used Thorn and Murtagh to kill them; I heard him speak to them with Murtagh's tongue."

Nasuada expression went blank and she sank into a chair. She was quiet for quite a while and then she finally spoke. "Are you sure they are dead?"

"Yes," Eragon said with a certainty I had only heard a few times in my life.

Nasuada wiped her eyes. "Tell me about them. Would you, please?"

So for the next half hour, Eragon told her about Oromis and Glaedr. He explained how they had survived the fall of the Riders and why they had chosen to keep themselves hidden thereafter. He explained about their respective disabilities, and he spent some time describing their personalities and what it had been like to study under them. As he continued speaking about their time with Oromis and Glaedr, Saphira began to keen.

When he was done Nasuada sighed. "I wish I could have met Oromis and Glaedr, but alas, it was not to be… There is one thing I still do not understand, Eragon. You said you heard Galbatorix speaking to them. How could you?"

That was exactly what I was wondering. "Yes, I would like to know as well," I said.

He looked around and coughed, then launched in to an account of his recent trip to Ellesméra. Saphira occasionally made a comment, but for the most part, she just mourned. He started with the truth of his parentage, Eragon proceeded in quick succession through the events of their stay, from their discovery of the brightsteel under the Menoa tree to the forging of Brisingr to his visit with Sloan. Last of all, he told us about the Eldunarí, the dragons' heart of hearts.

"Well", Nasuada said. She stood and walked the length of the room and back again. "You the son of Brom, and Galbatorix leeching off the souls of Dragons whose bodies have died. It's almost too much to comprehend…" She rubbed her arms again. I was going to have talk to Angela to see if we could put a healing spell on the herbs she's been using. "At least we now know the true power source of Galbatorix's power."

I was motionless, I was saddened but overjoyed and I didn't know which emotion to let take over. "The dragons are still alive." I made a motion of rejoice. "They are still alive after all these years. Oh, if only we could tell the rest of my race. How they would rejoice! And how terrible their wrath would be when they heard of the enslavement of the Eldunarí! We would run straight to Urû'baen, and we would not rest until we had freed the hearts of Galbatorix's control, no matter how many of us died in the process."

But we cannot tell them, Saphira said fiercely.

Sometimes it really annoyed me when Eragon and Saphira were right. "No, we cannot. But I wish we could."

Nasuada looked at me and spoke. "Please do not take offense, but I wish that your mother, Queen Islanzadí, had seen fit to share this information with us. We could have made use of it long ago."

I didn't take any offense; my mother had never trusted me enough. I frowned. "I agree, on the Burning Plains, Murtagh was able to defeat the two of you." I indicated Eragon and Saphira. "Because you did not know that Galbatorix might have given him some of the Eldunarí and thus you failed to act with appropriate caution. If not for Murtagh's conscience, you would both be trapped in Galbatorix's service even now. Oromis and Glaedr, and my mother too, had sound reasons for keeping the Eldunarí a secret, but their reticence was nearly our undoing. I will discuss this with my mother when next we speak."

Nasuada paced between the counter and the fireplace. "You have given me much to think about, Eragon…" She tapped the floor with the tip of her boot. "For the first time in the history of the Varden, we know of a way to kill Galbatorix that might actually succeed. If we can separate him from these heart of hearts, he will lose the better part of his strength, and then you and our other spellcasters will be able to overpower him."

"Yes, but how can we separate him from his hearts?" Eragon asked.

Nasuada shrugged. "I could not say, but I am sure it must be possible. From now on, you will work on devising a method. Nothing else is more important."

I was studying Eragon and wondered how I couldn't have seen it before. He was so obviously Brom's son. His inquisitive nature and his features were identical to Brom's. He looked at me and I spoke. "I always wondered, why Saphira's egg appeared to you, and not somewhere in an empty field. It seemed too great a coincidence to have occurred purely by chance, but I could not think of any plausible explanation. Now I understand. I should have guessed that you were Brom's son. I did not know Brom well, but I did know him, and you share a certain resemblance." That was the understatement of the century.

"I do?" He asked.

"You should be proud to call Brom your father," Nasuada stated. "By all accounts, he was a remarkable man. If not for him, the Varden wouldn't exist. It seems fitting you are the one to carry on his work."

I wanted to see the Eldunarí. "Eragon, may we see Glaedr's Eldunarí?"

He hesitated then went outside. He came back and slid the bag open to reveal a golden scale. I could sense Glaedr's spirit in there. Nasuada leaned forward and stared into the scale. "And Glaedr is really inside of here?" She asked.

He is, Saphira said.

"Can I speak with him?" Nasuada asked.

"You could try, but I doubt he would respond. He just lost his Rider. It will take him a long time to recover from the shock, if ever. Please leave him be, Nasuada. If he wished to speak with you he would have done so already," Eragon said.

"Of course. It was not my intention to disturb him in his time of grief. I shall wait to meet him until such time as he has regained his composure," Nasuada said.

I moved over to the Eldunarí and placed my hands on both sides of the stone careful not touch. I whispered a line in the ancient language that translated to 'I vow you will recover from your loss', and sent a large amount of my energy into the stone. I didn't get a response, nor did I expect one, but the light in the stone brightened slightly. I lowered my hands. "Eragon, Saphira, you have been given the most solemn responsibility: the safekeeping of another life. Whatever happens, you must protect Glaedr. With Oromis gone we shall need his strength and wisdom more than ever before."

Do not worry, Arya, we won't allow any misfortune to befall him, Saphira promised me.

Eragon closed the bag with a look of exhaustion. He looked at Nasuada and asked, "What now?"

Nasuada lifted her chin, "Now, we will march north to Belatona and when we have captured it, we will proceed onward to Dras-Leona and seize it as well, and then to Urû'baen, where we will cast down Galbatorix or die trying. That is what we shall do now, Eragon."

With her Eragon bid us a goodnight and headed back to the tents to rest. I too soon left Nasuada and went to think. I refused to think of the dire death instead I thought of Eragon. I loved him greatly, even more than I had loved my partner of more thaen fifteen years. I couldn't continue resisting the way I had been. I realized with a start that death could have been his. I couldn't keep lying to myself and I couldn't keep lying to him.

I headed slowly back to camp and went to the tent that the Varden had setup for him. Saphira was sleeping curled around it, but as I came up she stirred. Where's the danger, Arya?

"There's no danger, just allow me to enter the tent as I wish to speak with Eragon."

Do you want me to wake him? She asked as she moved so I could enter the tent.

"No, I shall wake him myself. You should just go back to sleep," I said as I went in the tent.

I think I shall. Was all she said in response.

Eragon was lying on his cot sleeping. I walked over and gently touched his shoulder. He sat bolt upright and grabbed for his knife before he realized that it was me. "Arya… What…" He started.

I cut him off by placing my finger to his lips. "Shhh." I sat down on the cot beside him and gently moved my hands down to the hem of his shirt. I pulled it off before he had time to do anything. I placed my lips against his and gently started kissing. He seemed in shock as I moved my lips, any other night I would have chuckled. But tonight with the realization I had in my head that I could lose him, it was a need that was driving me. I would not lose him without him realizing my love for him. He began to kiss me back but seemed uncertain. I decided to help him out and removed my shirt. The look of shock reappeared and I realized he probably was beginning to think he was still dreaming. I pushed him against the bed and pressed myself as tight as I could to him. I pulled off his pants and mine both as he seemed unable to realize what to do. I slid gently onto him and began riding him as I kissed him hungrily. He finally seemed to get the hint and began moving with me. At that moment I didn't care that our love was forbidden, and I didn't care that there would be hell to pay. All I wanted was more of him and we both reached our climax in synchronization. When we were finally done I turned over and fell asleep in his arms.