Me: As soon as I heard this song, I had to write a fic on it. Yeah, yeah, I'll update The Fallen Angels, but this first. I don't own Maximum Ride nor this song.
Bad Touch
Max's POV
We were at Mom's house just resting and relaxing. Well, I was. The younger ones of the Flock, Iggy, Ella, and Mom had gone to the carnival. They said I needed a break and made me stay here, while Fang had insisted he stay here.
So, here I was, innocently watching TV when all of a sudden, pumping music filled the house. I jumped up and tensed. Having going through hell in recent months can do this to you. It could be a new brainwashing technique done by the School to kidnap me and Fang.
Fang, my mind reminded me. I ran down the hall to the room where he had been holed up in for the last few hours and the door was open a crack. I peaked through cautiously and saw Fang dancing. My jaw dropped as he started singing along to the song.
Sweat baby, sweat baby,
Sex is a Texas drought,
And what the hell would he know about That?
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
If Prince sung about kicking Eraser butt than yeah, sure.
So put your hands down my pants
And I bet you'll feel nuts
Oh God, he did NOT just sing that.
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
At that moment Fang did two thumbs up. It's at these times that I wished I wasn't a mutant hybrid runaway and had a camera.
You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns
Fang doesn't even like his hash browns with stuff on it.
Come quicker than FedEx never reach the apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
I would drag him up anyways even if I wasn't inclined.
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
Um...correction...
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Whoa, buddy.
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
All this time I had been unconsciously opening the door wider and wider, so Fang now faced and looked directly at me with his dark eyes. Uh-oh, I'm caught.
But instead of the usual Fang reaction being him exploding at me about respecting his privacy or him flying out the nearest window in embarrassment, he did a wide unholy grin that made me go uneasy and he pulled me in and started dancing around me. Oh crap.
Love
The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics, Let me the Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
EXCUSE ME?!
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll love it just like Lyle
Who the heck is Lyle?
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files
Hate to be the one to break it to you Fang but they don't show X-Files on T.V. anymore, I wanted to say, but I was too shocked and tongue-tied as Fang danced around me grabbing, spinning and/or gripping me every few seconds.
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
"Um...Fang?" I started but as I started to say something he nuzzled into my neck pressing me against him and sung the rest making me go crazy.
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
He looked at me eyes unreadable and kissed me hard on the mouth and the song faded into the background. We continued until it became apparent that we really needed to breath.
We broke away, gasping for air the whole time locked into each others eyes.
"I love you Max," Fang said. My eyes widened in shock. Fang loves me? And the word tumbled out before I could think.
"I love you too, Fang," I said. And it felt so right saying it to him. He smiled widely, lighting up the area and kissed me. I sunk into it, enjoying his warmth.
"You know Fang," I said when we finally broke apart. He looked at me. "We are more than mammals." He frowned.
"Oh yeah," he said. "Must've forgotten that."
Me: Wow, Fang. Anyways to all of my readers, review please:)