My Heart to See
What is love? A four letter word that made the world messed up. A word that could build anything as well as destroy everything. I could never fathom how that stupid word turned into chaos everything I've strived to build. The strong walls that I have built around me to separate me from the people who only want to use me was utterly blown away like a feather in the sky. And just when I thought everything was perfect it just have to ruin it all.
My name is Hyuuga Natsume, and my story started five years ago, the day when I met the girl named Mikan Sakura.
I just graduated from high school and the age of 18, my parents decided that it was time for me to start learning how to manage our company and finally enter the lime light. A new chapter in my monotonous life, the chapter that I dreaded most. I was locked up in the cage known as responsibility, and I knew that no matter how I tried I could never get out.
One day, after working at the office, I decided to eat at one of the nearby café. As soon as I entered, all eyes were on me. Tch, so typical and irritating. But since I was already used to this kind of treatment, I made my way to an empty table at the farthest corner of the room.
A waitress went to ask my order in the very flirtiest way womankind had devised. I inwardly grunted. After a few minutes another waitress came with my order. I have to admit that I was attracted to her beauty; it was so simple that it was perfect. She have a brunette hair that she tied in a bun, her face was small but adorned by a pair of the warmest brown I ever saw. But what caught my eyes most were her smile, innocent and pure.
"You're order, sir," she said as she placed my order food at the table. I must have looked stupid when she asked in an unsure voice, "Sir? Is there something wrong?"
I snapped out of my reverie. "It's nothing." I said as normal as I could.
"Well," she said smiling, "Have a good day, sir." And with that she left. For some reasons, I was disappointed to watch her leave.
"Waitress," I called, and she turned to look at me, "Um, cold you get me a glass of water?" Water? What the hell was I thinking? Very creative, Natsume.
"Right away, sir," and she left, when she came back she already have what I asked. But the next minute, my face was drenched. And instead of getting angry, like I usually do, I was amused. A perfect timing. And for the first time in my eighteen years, I thanked God.
"I'm so sorry, sir," she said in a panicking voice, as she took a handkerchief from her pocket and tried to wipe my drenched face with it. "I didn't mean to. So sorry."
"So clumsy," I said rudely. Then I pushed her hand away, "Never mind, I'm going, I'm very disappointed with this kind of services."
When I was about to turn my back on her, she said in an angry voice, "I said I'm sorry. What's wrong with you? It doesn't mean that when a person did a mistake he is all that, jerk!"
Brave little girl. No one ever dared to talk to me like that, this girl is interesting. "What is your name?"
"Mikan Sakura," she said confidently. I couldn't help but smirk.
"Sakura," I said as I approached her until we were only inches apart. "Do you know who I am?"
"No," she said, determination was in her eyes, "And I don't care, even if by chance you are that egocentric Hyuuga Natsume."
Now I was far from amused, I was definitely interested. "Hmm. Egocentric?" I chuckled. "Well, sorry to disappoint but I'm not Hyuuga Natsume."
She glared at me, disbelieving, "But I am his cousin." Her expression softened. "Do you have a grudge at him?"
"No," she said. "I just think he's very pretentious, acting all cool and mighty."
I was taken aback, she continued. "But deep inside, I could tell that he's just wearing that façade for other people's sake. Very pathetic actually."
"Do you have powers?" I teased, this girl, even without meeting me in person before she could read me like that. I decided to make her mine.
"No," she said flatly.
"Well then," I said smirking, "By the way, I'm Hyuuga Mitsuru. And as payment for what you did earlier, I demand that you go on a date with me."
"What?" she said aghast.
"You heard me," I said indifferently. "Or I would personally talk to your manager about your misconduct."
"Fine," she muttered bitterly.
"I didn't hear you," I said as I lowered my head so that we are face to face.
"I said fine, idiot!" she shouted, and the other costumers who didn't notice the ongoing argument all turned their heads in our direction, and they began muttering.
I smirked, "Well then, meet me tomorrow at the Green Square Park exactly 10 o' clock. And don't ever dare not to show up." With that I turned and walked away, leaving the girl behind me gaping. I will definitely make you mine, Mikan Sakura.
When I got home, I saw Ruka waiting for me. I was leaving alone on one of the condominiums just a few blocks away from the company.
"Yow," he greeted, he was sitting at my couch while drinking a beer, he tossed me a bottle which I caught and opened. "Where've you been?"
"Somewhere," I said indifferently as I took a sit opposite his and took a sip of my beer.
"I was shocked that you left work early," he said. "And when I got here, the condo's empty."
"Hn."
"But looking at you," he continued, and he was now grinning, "I think there's something interesting that happened. So spill it."
I sighed. Even if I refuse, Ruka had been my best friend since diapers and I know how he could see right through me, so it's useless to hide it. And so I told him my interesting encounter with that little girl. He listened intently and when I finished my story telling, he burst laughing.
"I would like to meet her," he said, "I never thought that anybody else could penetrate you like that."
"I know," I simply said.
"But, Natsume," he said seriously, "You better forget her now."
"Why?" I said, I was surprised but I hid it.
"You are Hyuuga Natsume," he said shrugging, "What if she found out you're not a cousin but actually the real thing? And since when did you have a cousin? I know that's not the problem. The biggest concern is what if you manage to make her yours? What would happen then? You know full well that your family will disapprove her, and if you will insist, what do you think will happen to her?"
He's right, I knew it, but despite that I want this to happen, no matter what. Call me selfish, because for once I would like that to be.
I snarled. Where is that girl? I've been waiting for her for fifteen minutes already. She better not ditch me or else.
"Hyuuga-san!" a voice called behind me, I turned to see her running towards me. She was wearing a cream colored t-shirt with black and pink design and blue denims. Her hair was let loose, swaying behind her back while she ran. I again was mesmerized by her beauty.
"So—sorry," she said panting, "I forgot to file an on-leave yesterday so I have to go back to the café to do it. Sorry."
"Never mind," I said. I stood up, "Let's go."
"Wait," she said and I turned to look at her, her cheeks were flushing due to running, "Could I have a minute?"
"Hn, stay here," I ordered, she sat at the bench I was sitting before; "I'll be back."
"Okay," she said with a smile.
I went to one of the vending machines and bought two cans of soda. I gave her one and I sat beside her.
"Thanks," she said as she opened her can.
We stayed silent for a while, but then she turned to me and said, "Hyuuga-san, why did you want to have a date with me as payment?"
"Mitsuru," I said, "Call me by that. Nothing, just an entertainment, maybe."
She frowned, and I laughed at her expression. "Honestly, I've never been on a date before." I said.
It was her turn to laugh, "You've got to be kidding. You're good-looking and I think you could easily have a girl to go on a date with you without threatening her."
"I'm not interested in girls," I flatly said.
She gaped, "Are you a homo?"
"No," I said loudly, "I just hate how they literary drool at the sight of me."
"So," she said in a business manner, "Why me?"
"Because you are not interested in me, and I find that weird."
She laughed, "I do find you interesting, not because of your looks, but because of you."
"Huh?"
"Your 'totality', I find it interesting that you never have the sight of the real world. You're cramped up in that small cage you're in." she said as she stared in the sky.
"Excuse me," I said. This girl, is she a psychic?
She laughed again, "I'm not a psychic. I just find it easy to see people's hearts. And it's clear in your expression."
"Oh?"
"I grew up in an orphanage, and I never knew a parent's love. Then when I was seven I was adopted. Living with my new family wasn't easy at first," she said thoughtfully. "I learned to have in sights on what other people feel during my stay at the orphanage, since most of the kids there are like me, longing for love, I think we have the best definition of love. I have a step sister, at first we never really get along with each other, but as time passed by, we became the best of friends."
"You're happy now?" I asked.
She smiled, "Yes. Actually if you did talk to my manager, she would have pummeled you."
"Why?"
"For harassing me," she said laughing, "After all, my manager is my sister."
"So why did you accept?"
"To prevent bloodshed," she said in a matter of fact tone, "And because I was interested in you, too."
"Well, then," I said as I stood up, "Let's make it more interesting."
Mikan and I have been dating for a few months, and I decided that it was time that I confess to her what I felt. I took her to an exclusive hotel that I have reserved for that special evening.
She was beautiful in that dress I bought for her, a red taffeta dress just above her knees and she was wearing a black 3 inch heels. Her hair was half fixed, letting some of her locks loosed, and for the first time I saw her wearing makeup.
She smiled shyly as she approached me, and I couldn't help but to smile too.
We ate and dance for a while, then when it was about time, I led her to the balcony and the moment we stepped outside the sky was filled with fireworks.
"Mikan Sakura, I love you," I said in a serious tone, "Would you be my girl?"
She was crying now, but she managed to smile, that smile that melts my heart, "Yes, Mitsuru. I love you too."
I kissed her for the first time, the fireworks couldn't compare to this bursting feeling inside me. For the first time, I was truly happy.
I never imagined that this would happen. I should have known, I should have told her the truth.
Mikan was crying in front of me. She just found out who I really am. I swear I'll kill those stupid paparazzi. It had been in the headlines, Natsume Hyuuga dating an unknown girl. And there was a picture of me and Mikan while we were on a date just recently.
"Why did you lie to me?" she said crying, but I could still see in her eyes that she wants to continue believing me.
"Mikan," I gently said as I hugged her. "If I told you who I was, will you still love me? Does it matter if my name was Mitsuru or Natsume? "
"No," she said as she tried to wipe her tears, "You're right, I'm sorry. It's just that I don't want to be lied to."
"I'm sorry for lying," I said as I kissed her forehead. "But it was to protect you; I knew that if these people know about our relationship they may hurt you. And I fear that."
"I could take care of myself," she said stubbornly, I chuckled.
"Yeah, right," I said smirking, she frowned. "But it is my duty as the guy to protect his girl."
"I love you, Natsume," she said smiling.
"I love you too, Mikan," I said, "More than anyone else, now until forever."
"What the hell were you thinking, Natsume!" my father thundered as soon as I got home. I was called by my parents to return home, and I knew where this is heading to.
"Nothing," I said monotonously. Next thing I know I felt this pain in my cheek, my father punched me. I didn't mind though.
"Nothing!" he said angrily, then he took the newspaper with my and Mikan's picture and showed it to me, "You call this nothing, brat?"
"I believe I have nothing to explain, Father," I said as I looked directly in his eyes. I could hear my mother and sister's silent sobs at the corner.
"Who is this pathetic girl?" he asked pointing at Mikan's picture.
"I will not tolerate any insults to Mikan!" I roared.
"Do you think she really loves you, Natsume? She's just after our money. And I won't have a leech in our family." I couldn't take it anymore; I'll take all the insults he says about me but not Mikan. And I did what is the most irrational thing to do, I punched him.
"Tsk," he said. "Believe me, Natsume. That girl is just using you."
"I would have believed you, if it weren't for the fact that I never told her who I really am. She just found out because of that stupid paper." I said my back turned at him.
"And you believe that?"
"Yes," I said as I walked out of the door, "That's because I love her."
I thought that everything was alright. My family never mentioned my relationship with Mikan again. Then they held a party and even told me to bring Mikan. I was happy; I thought they accepted her already.
"Ladies and gentlemen," my father said from the microphone, I was standing beside Mikan. "Good evening. You are all gathered here tonight to witness the engagement of my son, Hyuuga Natsume to Miss Luna Koizumi, of the Koizumi Corporation."
I was enraged. I should have known this was a trap. I looked at Mikan, and her expression was unreadable.
"Natsume," my father said as he looked toward our direction, I glared at him, "Come up to the stage."
"Go," Mikan said, and there was a smile in her face. "I'll be right here."
I hesitated, I know she was hurt. I have no choice but to settle this. As soon as I was up the stage, I looked to where she was, but I found no one. Mikan left.
I jumped down the stage, I heard gasps but I continued running. Mikan, where are you? was all I thought about as I ran to look for her. When I got outside the building I saw her across the street. I ran as fast as I could, I didn't looked if there where cars passing by.
"Natsume!" I heard her scream. But that was all I could remember as everything turned black.
I heard beeping sounds; I must have ended in the hospital. I tried opening my eyes but couldn't. There were bandages covering my eyes.
"Natsume," it was Ruka. "You're finally awake."
"Ruka," I said, "What happened?"
"You got yourself almost killed, that's what happened, idiot," he said exasperatedly, I could feel that he was waiting for this moment to scold me.
"Sorry," then I remembered, "Where's Mikan?"
He didn't answer. "Ruka, where's Mikan?"
"She left, Natsume." He said.
"Left?" I said angrily, "Mikan would never do that!"
Then he handed me something, paper, "Read that as soon as you got your eyesight back."
I found out that my eyes were damaged due to the accident, and somehow they found a donor who was good enough to donate his eyes. After a few weeks, they finally took of the bandage.
Everything was blurry at first, but it went clearer eventually. The first thing I did was to see my eyes. There were no scars but I was shocked to find that my once crimson eyes were turned to chocolate brown. Mikan's eyes.
"Ruka?" I said shaking, "Don't tell me…" I wasn't able to finish my sentence.
"If you're thinking about her," he said. "You're wrong." Then he handed me a picture of a guy with the same colored eyes. "That guy was dying so he decided to give his eyes. It was just a coincidence that they have the same color."
"Oh?" I was relieved. Then I remembered the letter. I took it out of the drawer, it was from Mikan.
Dear Natsume,
If you're reading this now, I would have been miles away from you. I'm sorry I lied to you. I never really loved you. Honestly, I was just using you so I could get your money. I knew all along who you really are.
Since you're incapacitated now, I don't want to be burdened. Thank you for the time. I did have fun. Goodbye.
Signed,
Mikan Sakura
For the first time, I felt tears flow down my eyes. I was stupid. How could I have believed her? It was one-sided love after all. All she did was lie to me.
That was the time I first have my heart broken into a million pieces.
It had been five years since that incident. I was happy now. I was now engaged to Luna Koizumi, and everything was fine. I know that I could never love her like I did for Mikan, the girl who meant everything to me.
Luna was kind-hearted, she was beautiful and intelligent. My family was happy for me. And I thought I was happy. I've been wearing crimson contact lenses since every time I looked at the mirror, I always see unwanted memories.
Luna and I volunteered to do charity works at an orphanage. When we got there I saw a woman about the same age as Mikan, she have a shoulder length raven hair and amethyst eyes. She glared at me as soon as we arrived. I ignored her.
"Hyuuga-san," Sister Rika said, she was the head of the orphanage, "Thank you for your kindness."
"We would like to see the kids," Luna said smiling.
"They are in the backyard, Koizumi-san," she said pointing at the open space. We went there. I could never believe my eyes. I saw a woman, though her back was turned to us, she have a long brunette hair, and she was laughing while playing with the children. That laugh that I knew so well.
She tripped, and I have an urged to help her. I left Luna and I went to see if she was really who I thought she was. The kids went to her immediately but I was fast enough. Her hand was raised, and she said, "You-chan, could you help, onee-chan." I was shocked. It was really Mikan. I took her hand and helped her to stand.
"Thank you," she said smiling, "You must be a visitor. I'm sorry to inconvenience you, but could you hand me my stick? I can't see."
I saw the stick she was talking about and I handed it to her, "Thank you," she said with that smile that I've missed so much. I couldn't take it anymore, I cried and hugged her.
She gasped; "Natsume?" then she pushed me away. "What are you doing here?"
"You, idiot!" I said angrily, "How could you do this to me? You don't know how much I suffered these five years thinking that I hate you. Then just when I thought I could finally live my life again, I see you like this? Blind, because you were an idiot give your eyes to me"
She looked down, and muttered, "Sorry."
"Mikan," I said my voice shaking, "Why? Why did you do this?"
"Why, you ask? Isn't it obvious?" she said angrily, "I loved you, I still do. I just don't want to see you suffer because of me. I lied, yes! But it was a lie I could tell so that I won't have to see you like this."
"And you didn't think I would've done the same?" I said.
She was shocked. "Natsume, you have a life ahead of you. Don't waste it on someone like me."
"How big of an idiot could you get? I have a life because you gave it to me! I'm not throwing anything because of you. But Mikan, if you tell me to let go of you, I would die. I already died. I don't want to do it the second time." I said and then I kissed her, she kissed me back. "I love you, Mikan. And I would willingly give up everything just to be with you. Please don't push me away." I hugged her tightly. "And even if you did, I wouldn't go, no matter what, I won't let you leave me again."
"Natsume, I love you, too." She whispered in my ear. "I promise I won't go anywhere without you."
"Good," I said confidently, "Then be my wife. And I won't take a 'no' for an answer."
She kissed me, and we shared this passionate kiss with tears in our eyes. I cried for the both of us, since these eyes were mine and Mikan's.
I told Luna of my decision, and she willingly accepted. She told me that she knew all along, ever since that party five years ago that I loved somebody else and that she could not replace Mikan's place in my heart no matter what. She thanked for the small space I gave her. And with that we bid our farewells.
I went home and told my parents that I've broken off my engagement to Luna and that I'll be marrying Mikan no matter what they say. I was shocked when they accepted my decision.
"We've known all along, Natsume," my mother said gently.
"When that accident happened," my father said, "That girl went boldly to us and asked our permission so that we could transplant her eyes to yours. I've never seen a brave girl like her. I'm sorry, son. I misjudged her."
"We would have told you," my mother continued, "But she begged us not to tell you. Saying that it would be the best for both of you."
"Thank you," I said bowing to them, "I knew after all that that girl is too big an idiot for her sake. So I made it my responsibility to take care of her." I smiled. "Mom, Dad, thank you. You don't know how much it means to me."
"Go get her, son" Dad said with a smile, "We have a wedding to prepare after all."
After a month of preparation, Mikan and I were finally married. It was the happiest day of my life. I looked at my wife in her beautiful gown as we entertained at our guest.
I met her sister, Hotaru Imai, the day I found her in the orphanage. It happens that she was that raven-haired girl I met. In contrast to Mikan, she has a stoic demeanor, but I could see how much she loves her sister.
Ruka, my best friend, coincidentally took an interest at her. Now he was wooing the girl. Poor Ruka, he was now a subject of her blackmailing abilities.
I was now married to the girl I first fell in love with and the woman that I would forever love. Funny how a four letter word named love turned my world upside down. I was happy, contented and in love.
"Daddy!" my four-year old daughter, Ringo called. I just got home from work. "Onii-chan is being a meanie again." I chuckled. Ringo is so much like her mother, that same childish attitude and her ever sunny smile. She has her brunette hair, but my crimson eyes.
Then a young lad came down the stairs, he have a raven-hair like me and the same crimson eyes. My ten year old son, Mitsuru Hyuuga. "Ringo, you are such a cry baby."
Ringo stuck her tongue out at her brother. I smiled at my children. "Where's your mom?"
"I'm here, dear." A voice said from my side, it was Mikan. She was huge with our third child. I went to her and kissed her.
"I'm home, Mikan," I said.
She giggled, "Welcome home, Natsume."
END
Note:
Dear Readers,
Please notify me if this story is somehow similar to other stories. I haven't read all published works of . Thank you.
Kamiya Chire
P.S. Please review.