Author's Note: Okay... honestly I am German! So this story is just a translation of my german story! I know I am not so good with translations ( so if anyone wants to help me or wants to send me a corrected version - THANKS! I would really appreciate it!), but I tried my best! Please write an review and if this story is too horrible, you will hopefully tell me! ) Have fun while reading my story...

You win or lose relationships

That's the way how it goes

…

The Awakening

Before she could open her heavy eyelids, she noticed that something was different on this morning. An unknown smell coated her and it was not the arm of her boyfriend who embraced gently her naked waist. Her heart seemed to race and suddenly she was awake. Even if she could not remember everything exactly, one thing she knew: alcohol, much alcohol must have been in the play. She noticed her evil-smelling halitosis and if she was not completely wrong, it could only have been Scotch.

An affectionate kiss on her shoulder woke her up from her thoughts and she tore her eyes. Sharp daylight dazzled her view and any furniture in the strange room was only shadowy recognizable.

"Good morning", Jess whispered tenderly in her ear and caressed her sensitive place under her ear with his tongue. Her whole body solidified. Jess? A murmured answer came quietly over her lips and she tried desperately to wake up from this nightmare. Again and again she pinched her own lower arm under the cover, but nothing changed. She was still here. He was still here. But where was 'here'?

Hasty she loosened herself from Jess' embrace and bolted the cover around her naked body. "Damn it! What did I do? Damn, fucking shit, damn it!", the curses found automatically the way out of her mouth and her soul, because now, since she had finally added 1+1, she could not believe what had happened. Hectically she picked up her scattered clothes and disappeared into the bathroom, observed by her astonished ex-boyfriend.

Carefully she leaned from the inside against the door and closed shocked her eyes. Tears fought against her eyelids and triumphed. Even more tear drops found their way over her cheeks and she could not do anything else than to sob quietly. What had she done? Did that really happened? A bad conscience crept up in her and beset her whole thoughts. How could she condemn Logan, her boyfriend Logan, for something she had done by herself? How could she be so stupid and naive - other words for her behaviour did not want to occur to her - and do that, for which she had nearly left her boyfriend. Logan.

Logan. His hurt face emerged before her internal eye and still more tears rolled along her face. What had she done?

The vibration of the door drove through her body when Jess knocked against the door. "Rory? ", his voice sounded anxious through the wood. "Everything okay? Are you well?" Rory sniffed silently and tried to swallow her tears for one moment. "I'm coming! Just a moment, please!", she tergiversate to his questions and concentrated on her clothes. Bit by bit she put her clothes on and with each thing she recovered a part of her self-control.

Completely dressed Rory breathed deeply before she went back to Jess. While she entered the bedroom, the smell of coffee crept into her nose. During the time which she spent in the bathroom, Jess had made himself useful and had cooked coffee. But for the first time in her life, Rory felt sick with the smell of the roasted beans. But not only for this reason she rejected the cup, which Jess gave her, carefully smiling.

"I have to go! Bye Jess!" Rory could not bear any longer in this appartement, the place, which brought so much mischief with it. But before she reached the housing door, the boy held her back by gentle force. Carefully he turned Rory to himself and tried to take up eye contact. "Rory…", carefully stroked his thumb her cheek and although she enjoyed this contact, she strove herself internally against him. She stood quietly there and could not move. Her eyes closed.

When she however felt Jess' lips on her ones, she frightened up.

"What?" Jess could not understand what had suddenly driven into her.

"I am sorry, but this is wrong!" Rory had to swallow with difficulty, in order to bring all the words over her lips. But it had to be that straight. She had to say it to Jess.

"What are you sorry for?"

„I am sorry that I am still here. I am sorry that I stayed and what happened the night. I am sorry that I came last night. It was not fair and it is also not fair now. I am simply a total idiot!", she spoke more with herself than to her opposite.

„Honestly… I do not know what you mean! It was nevertheless beautiful, wasn't it? Rory, that could be our new beginning, our renaissance!"

His hopeful words made her cry and she hated herself that she had to do this to him. She had to break his heart again, as she did it one time before – at Stars Hollows. Like she had rejected him, when he had wanted to elope with her. His mimic expression was the same. The only thing which had changed, was that she was older now. But apparently not more adult.

"Understand my position! I did, what he did to me! I hated him for that and now I hate myself for it! He cheated on me and now I cheated on him!"

"Who cheated on you?" He stared at her, but then, before she could answer him, Jess threw his arms into air! "You do not want to tell me that this arrogant bastard cheated on you and that now I was… I was your… revenge? ", he spat the word like dirt.

Never she had seen him so bruised before. Jess fell down on the bed edge and dug his face into his hands. Rory was unable to answer, because he had summarized the whole situation perfectly. Revenge. Even if it had happened unconsciously, she wanted to take revenge with Logan. But this revenge did not feel sweetly at all.

"Rory, I did not deserve this!", the young man caught up the word again.

"Oh God, no! You did not deserve this at all!" Hasty she knelt before him and ran her hand over the only tear on his face. Rory never had seen him crying and would have never thought that she would be the reason for it.

Mutely the two looked themselves into the eyes and cried together. She more. He less. She, because she had hurt two of the most valuable humans in her life; a good friend, who had, long ago, shown her that there was a world outside of school and the man, whom she loved. He, because he thought that he had finally been at his goal and now he had to watch how everything broke, like a house of cards.

"I'll better go! I am really sorry!", she apologized again and nevertheless she had the feeling, as if she should have to say it again.

"I am not. It is, what it is. You. Me. But no we. "

Gently she still gave him another kiss on his cheek, before she reached for her handbag and left hasty the apartment. But she could not go home, to Logan. There was only one place, where she could think about everything which happened. A place, where one special person would listen to her. In Stars Hollow.